Joe Shaw
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Posts posted by Joe Shaw
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joey, Joey, Joey, you disturbed twin of Donny Osmond.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Say what you will about Donny (and I've said plenty, it ain't easy being a non-Mormon Democrat in this state), he certainly did attract the babes in his day ... not that he did anything with them, the twit. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I didn't mean "kill the Peng thread" forever. I said to kill this increasingly deviated iteration of it and move to the next one <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And if YOU'D been paying attention instead of paying effusive compliments to our elected "public servants" so that your pork o' the month" project would get funded you'd have noticed that the Mad Bald One himself stated that there were to be no further incarnations of the Peng Thread. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe, I know you have been playing hide and seek with me, hoping that you won't be called upon to face your inevitable death <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>You know that's about the fourth time you've THREATENED a challenge only to back off at the last moment. A typical attorney trick. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You, puny and inflated with gas though you are, have always worked with wry wit rather than the "girly" insults slung by low-life pretenders with disconnected brainstems like "Mr Spkr", whom I see you are now promoting as your next "boy".<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> {sigh}, I fear that you have some of the right about you on this one. MrSpkr, among others, is guilty of ... going a bit far in my humble but correct opinion. If MadMatt doesn't care, however, who am I to throw stones. My suggestion for MrSpkr was only that he be listed as Serf, certainly not as Squire nor do I have any plans to take an additional squire at this time, as young Speedbump is performing adequately. MrSpkr has, however, shown admirable fortitude and a semblance of wit and perhaps we can, with patience and the odd brick, ween him away from his anti-social ways ... and he likes fried okra. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>So use your own pair to express yourself before you ... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Now this goes too far, first you berate MrSpkr for his posts and you follow your rebuke with this? I have lost all respect for you ... oh wait I didn't have any to start ... never mind.
Joe
p.s. As to the Lesbians and the River ... where do I sign up, hell I'll tag along just to take the pictures.
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>This particular Peng challenge thread began with much rich witty repartee by Lawyer, but has now sunk below Joe Shaw's single-digit sperm count.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Give me a break you, you ... Government Lawyer, I've seen unused postit notes with more wit, though I don't doubt the rich part considering your motto of "Steal From the Poor and Give to ME!" <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I summon the Almighty Sword of MadMatt to end it NOW, before we all die of terminal embarrassment for those who are unable to be embarrassed for themselves.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now that IS rich, that you, of all people, would claim that OTHERS are unable to be embarrassed for themselves. And just what is it that you wish to end? This thread? Surely not, we will not allow that to happen. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>If the Peng fits, wear it. You smell worse than Mensch's underwear at the bottom of the stack. I've seen more stimulating intellect at Wal-Mart on Saturday mornings.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Look, spend your Saturday mornings however you want, no doubt wandering the lingerie aisles pretended to look for the "little lady." We shall continue the high tone of this The One The True CessPool.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>PeterNZer, apparently still under the influcence, stated:you lot are suck. As the japanese might say if they ever were to foolishly plumet into the peng thread and ponder upon the piles of trash the files
this festering hall. ... Your posts are dull.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Well they may be dull (though how YOU would know based upon your attendance is difficult to determine) but they are at least complete sentences and make some sort of grammatical sense. Good lord man, and you're supposed to be a Knight that sets an example! I've seen better efforts from PawBroon after he's been at the wine or OGSF when he's lost his English to Scottish dictionary.
Joe
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Hmmm, a couple of thoughts occur (I know, it's awfully early for me to have reached my quota for the day).
MrSpkr, when the thread was going through it's dark days (i.e. limits were placed on our posts before we had to start a new thread), the opening post of the new thread was usually a sort of warning/FAQ. I'm not sure how we would do that now with our new, virile, thread length. Perhaps we could shorten our rules to a variant of that used by the US Sports Commentator, Jim Rome, when he admonishes his listeners "Have A Take, Don't Suck!"
And speaking of takes, I must task Lorak with adding MrSpkr to the list of Serfs from whence he can aspire to the rank of Squire and then ... one day in the future with hard work on his part ... perhaps even Knight of the CessPool. I ask this because he, MrSpkr, has shown fortitude and sticktoitiveness (hmmmm). Furthermore, he likes fried okra and is a Texan, both sterling qualities in my book.
Mark IV I was shocked, shocked I say to hear of the fumbles and missteps rampant, rampant I say, in the community of True Blue Grogs (or Sacre Bleu Grognards for PawBroon). How could such blatant, blatant I say, oversights have been ... uh ... oversighted? I have done some research and was stunned, stunned I say, to see that the referenced True Blue Grog has been a member since July of 1999 and in that time he has managed to post a grand total of 360 some odd times. Clearly the fault is with BTS in not encouraging him to provide full input.
Joe
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I've said it before, I'll say it again, I'm just too kind. These scum sucking newbies wander by on a lark (not to be confused with the American Robin referred to above in one of the exposes of the failings of BTS) and think "Hi ho, here's the Peng thread then, perhaps I'll pop in and see if the chaps are about, what?" I then, out of kindness, attempt to set them straight and direct them back to where they belong (i.e. somewhere other than HERE). Recently they seem to be taking this as an invitation to CHAT, as if this was the CM Lonely Chaps Club or something. It doesn't help when we are forced to defend ourselves in public and give these clowns the impression that we WANT scum sucking newbies!
THEREFORE ...
Notice to Scum Sucking Newbies
Go Away! Go Far Away and Go Now! We like the group that's here ... for the most part ... individually they're swine but the sum of the parts, etc. We did not ask you to drop by and we'd frankly prefer that you drop dead. If you DO decide that you MUST stick around ... Have A Reason! Are Geek apparently didn't get the drift of my message and responded with chapter and verse ... as if we care ... of his life and times {gag}. So lad, without getting into YOUR missive (reading it again is more than my digestive tract can handle right now) ... IS THERE SOMETHING WE CAN DO FOR YOU OR WERE YOU JUST VISITING? If the later (please, please, PLEASE ... let him just be visiting) your VISA is revoked and you have been PNGed ... not to be confused with being PENGed, which is, frankly, much worse. Stand not upon the order of your going, etc. If the former ... go away anyway, we're not in the mood right now.
Joe
[ 05-06-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Please refrain from such disgusting imagery, as the 'pool has no need for the contents of it's readers stomachs to be ejected forthwith.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Are Geek, just a few quick questions and then a comment if I may? Thanks, won't be a jiff ... let's see ... ah, here it is: {ahem}
1) WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
2) IS IT TRUE THAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR THE BOARD, NOT THE THREAD BUT THE BLOODY BOARD ALL OF TWO WEEKS AGO?
3) WHY THE HELL SHOULD WE CARE?
4) CAN YOU GIVE US ONE GOOD REASON YOU SHOULDN'T FRY IN A VAT OF USED CRISCO FOR ALL ETERNITY?
There, that should take care of the questions, please use a sharp #2 pencil and make sure all the ovals are filled in. As to the comment ...
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO BE TAKING SIR MACE AND SIR PHILLIES PHAN TO TASK FOR ANYTHING? CRAWL BACK TO THE OUTER BOARD BEFORE YOU GET HURT!
Thanks ever so, we appreciate your visit and hope that you'll take this small token of our esteem ... ready Bauhaus?
Joe
[ 05-06-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>About the only thing I would be (mildly) curious about is whether either Peng or Seanichi are even still posting in the "Peng" threads.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Peng wanders in on occassion, mostly to complain that HIS thread had deteriorated (i.e. It wasn't like this in the OLD Board"). He has been immortalized, however, in the listing of wins and losses which is completely ignored by us, through having any loss TO him branded on the record of the loser as having LOST TO PENG!. Seanachai, on the other hand, posts regularly and at GREAT length ... we're still not sure what his posts are ABOUT mind you ...
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>What's up with these huge threads that say nothing useful and only slow down the loading of the web page?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What's up with these threads that say that the Peng threads say nothing useful and only slow down the loading of the web page?
Good question, let me ask another, what's your favorite color? Red ... NO BLUE!
Beauty, my friend, is in the eye of the beholder, as is value and humor. If you want to see something slow down the loading of the page, check out some of the Mod previews people post. If you want to see something useless, how about reviewing the endless rehashing of already dead and buried topics (i.e. Real time CM).
I am prejudiced, I have been a 'pooler for a long, long time and truly enjoy the comraderie I find there. But I wouldn't enjoy it as much were it not for the core and heart of the 'pool ... Combat Mission. Only a great game like CM can inspire the kind of loyalty and longevity that causes nut cases like us to form our own little sub-community. You may not, obviously, care for our humor or the style we use. We don't care for the endless dull, boring, interminable discussions of the ability to run with a HMG (to clarify that, we DO care but we trust BTS to come up with the right answer). EACH TO THEIR OWN.
Finally, BTS has made it clear that they tolerate the Peng Threads within certain limits and we try to follow those limits. They don't slow down the page any more than any other postings and as to their value ... Madmatt thinks we're funny ... so there
And Chupacabra, thanks for the words of support ... now come home, your corner is still waiting and there's some lovely flotsom that's collected there.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>As another most respected Knight said in the past, it's never what was quoted which is lacking in veracity but what you said that wasn't up to what others wanted to quote in the first place.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Speedbump, and then there is always the odd post which lacks even the most rudimentary congruity or logic (see above). With these it's often sufficient to just repost the bizarre quote so that others won't miss out on the fun.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Villanova.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Right, so that's 5 points for the extra credit ... and -36 points for the THEFT!
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The veritable spoor of your posts, Mr. Shaw.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'm not surprised that YOU would turn out to be a Scatologist Mark IV, your posts reek of it, but I am surprised that you are able to quote from great works. First MrSpkr and his fried okra and now you with Bored of the Rings ... there IS good in everyone ... barring the inevitable exceptions.
Joe
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>By the way, seen any Ballhogs lately?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>For extra credit, what was written in cruel runes across his chest?
[ 05-04-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>trust you to scream like a motherless babe over one unattributed reference!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bah! do you think I'd have objected to your quoting without attribution from some scribbler like Willie? You can use Steinbeck and Lord Byron for all I care, but when you dip your wit from Bored of the Rings I say you've gone too far! We're talking the Classics here boyo, just look at the characters ... Frito, Goodgulf, Spamwise and Arrowshirt, Dildo the Ringbearer and of course ... Goddam. Choose your readers with more care next time, there are the literate among us.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>... but pity stayed his hand ('pity I can't find my zippo', we all heard him mutter).<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Plagarism Alert, Plagerism Alert, calling all Attornies
Knights, Squires and Consigliori of the CessPool it is my sad duty to report that Sir Seanachai has committed the sin, the crime of posting as original wit the works of another, and the published works at that. The "pity stayed his hand" line is taken, almost word for word, from that classic of literature ... Bored of the Rings by the staff of the Harvard Lampoon. For shame, Sir Seanachai ... for shame.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Are you a pyromaniac?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not at all, at all, my lower hemispherian friend. Allow me to elucidate:
1) If you'll recall, my "treatment" of my nether regions was undertaken in response to your suggestion that your incarnation as an Arse Tick might somehow have some relation to MY butt. I took that measure in order to ensure that even the THOUGHT of you (in any of your forms, insect or otherwise) anywhere NEAR my butt was negated with EXTREME PREJUDICE! I still shudder at that thought.
2) I certainly did not attempt to set anyone afire ... other than myself. I merely applauded (as did you) the THOUGHT of Speedbump doing that ... particularly to whatshisname.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Wait a minute, does a match with the "Whuppin' boy" count?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Absolutely lad, go to it, well thought out plan and I applaud your attitude and proactivity ... oh wait ... opps, sorry, thought you said SET a match to the "Whuppin'boy" ... my mistake.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And you sir, are the thread's butt-crack and arse!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Quick, somebody pour a gallon of gas on my butt and set it on fire ... Hell yes it's worth the pain ... {WHHoooossssHHHHHHh!} Arrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!
{Splooossshhhhh} ....
Ahhhhhhhh, damn, that's gonna smart for a while ... I'll get you for that Mace see if I don't.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I am an artist!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Close but no cigar, you are in fact a blood sucking insect who burrows into the butt crack of the thread ... you sir, are an Arse Tick!.
Have some more okra MrSpkr? Perhaps a refreshing beverage as well?
May I also take this opportunity to congratulate the worthy and noble Agua Perdido upon his elevation to Knighthood. It was a long and difficult struggle, involving much tutuoring and endless hours of correction, but in the final analysis he did me proud. Well done lad.
What's that? The other one? What other one? Another new knight ... really? Wildman? ... hmmm, while it may be true that Lorak cannot be bought, I think it's abundantly obvious that he can be leased ... likely for suprisingly affordable amounts.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Damned time zones! Damned life! and most of all, damn you!!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Damned long unbroken text lines! Damned Idiots who post them! And most of all, DAMN YOU Mace ... fix or do somefink!
Joe
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I would have thought that it would have been unnecessary to disclose the statements between Monty and Patton as approximate quotes from the movie "Patton" ... obviously I was wrong. Kindly accept my apologies for not providing sufficient information. I felt that they fit in rather nicely with the title provided previously, it was ... ironic.
Joe
[ 05-02-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Monty: Lust For Patton<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Monty"You needn't worry Patton, I shan't kiss you."
Patton"Well that's too bad General, I shaved especially close this morning in expectation of getting smacked by you."
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I think its ... ***drunken finger wavers through the air finally pointing at a stunned onlooker***Joe's fault!!! J'accuse!!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Is NOT! It's San Andreas' Fault! He's cracked he is.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Have some okra.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ummmm, thanks .... {Joe pops in a couple of the green and golden brown cartwheels, closes his mouth and, with eyes closed, slowly chews {sniff} just ... just like Mom used to make ... a tear rolls down Joe's cheek.
Where ARE these wankers anyway, so far it looks more like a pillowfight. I tell you MrSpkr ... it wasn't like this in the OLD Board.
Joe
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Joe gets ready as the elevator clanks and creaks to the right floor, the door starts to open and Joe springs out, horizontal and launches himself down the stairs, hits the bottom in a tuck and rolls against the concrete retaining wall with a THUD that shakes the stands. Ohhhhhhh, that's gonna leave a bruise. Any room left? Only by MrSpkr? Damn ... well anyone who likes Fried Okra can't be ALL bad ... any left ... of the fight or the Okra? Sounds pretty tame so far, shall we start a wave?
Joe
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Well, all I can say is Thank GAWD Seanachai is back. Not, obviously, because of any value in his posts (I think we've all given up on that) but because, by comparison, my posts are the very model of brevity and wit. An added advantage is that he will be forced to acknowledge his defeat in our game, though no doubt he will decry the Gods of War (i.e. Steve and Charles) for coding the game so that my Sdkfz 251's were able to take out countless M3's.
In other news, the Mallory Ivine Expedition has yet to find evidence of Sandy Irvine but the effort continues.
Joe
THE PENG I TAKE OUR CHALLENGE PUBLIC REVIVAL!!!
in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)
Posted
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Thanks to Joe Shaw for two things: (1) my new sig line; and (2) living three time zones away from me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> (1) You're Welcome, it's the most I could do for you. (2) It's ONLY TWO time zones! There, don't you feel better now?
May I echo (Helllloooo, helllloo, hell...) the kind and benevolent (malevolent?) Seanachai in his call for a more PC Cess? Not because I have anything against Macs you understand, but I use a PC and therefore everyone should.
As to the other issue he raised (sit down Bauhaus), there is obviously a fine line involved between cautioning Bauhaus (for virtually anything) or advising Mace to use wool conditioner for that fluffy feel and some of the more blatant ... stuff ... that's been posted. It's not that we aren't all adults, though we all aren't (Yes I'm looking at YOU DekeFentle), but rather that we have to be very careful with the forebearance of BTS, especially with the outer board railing against us at times. Just my opinion, but I expect everyone to fall into line since it is, hello, MY opinion.
Joe