To Peng, or not to Peng, that is the Challenge

[Patchy]

Whether 'tis Nobler in the minde to suffer

The Slings and Arrowes of outragious Fortune... oh sod that

Rules by Joe Shaw

Be it Know to One and All Sundry that this is The One The True CessPool, The Mutha Beautiful Thread, the PENG CHALLENGE THREAD returned from it's ignominious tenure under the handle of a Squire and back under the control of a True Knight of the CessPool. Harken ye to the RULES:

(ii) This is NOT your father's ladder, lad, it's the Peng Challenge Thread and you are NOT worthy and should, frankly, just SOD OFF and be done with it.

(XIV) Are you brain dead? SOD OFF!

(1.43) There are SIX (6) kinds of people in the world, Old Ones, Seniour Knights, Knights, Squires ... Serfs ... and Scum Sucking Newbies (SSNs). All but the last of these are relatively worthy, (the jury's still out on the Serfs but they ARE recognized) but the last, the SSNs are worthless and to be despised by all right thinking individuals. If you are an SSN ... SOD OFF.

(ref. e) You may have come here thinking that you are special and unique among SSNs and that you have What It Takes to be one of us ... YOU ARE WRONG SO SOD OFF.

( If you MUST stick around, and we'd much prefer that you just SOD OFF, remember that this is the Peng CHALLENGE Thread, so perhaps you might consider actually CHALLENGING someone to a game of CM. IF you do, and don't overlook the advantages of simply SODDING OFF, remember the following:

{34} Challenge someone of your own stature, which is non-existant, by choosing another SSN, a Serf or perhaps, PERHAPS a squire. How do you find these people you ask ... mostly because you're an idiot ... you find them here:

Lorak's CessPool Page

{Uiv} SOUND OFF LIKE YA GOT A PAIR! None of this mamby pamby, "Oh please good sir, might I have the honor of participating in a game of CM with you or yours at your earliest convenience?" BAH! This is the place for bile and venom, for taunts and insults and is NOT for children but only for MEN (and a few good WOMEN ... though in my experience BAD WOMEN are to be preferred) of substance, of STYLE, of WIT and HUMOR.

{87/87) Do NOT sound off ABOUT your pair. We tolerate no racial, sexual, political or ethnic crusades ... only good old fashioned PERSONAL attacks.

{Stick Around Damn It, we're tired of people who wander in and waste our time and then never show up again ... or you could just SOD OFF} 1.

{vii} Have Half A Brain, this will be a stretch for most SSNs but give it a shot.

{Don't} think that just because you're good at CM that you have a place HERE! We don't care ... we care about taunting, insulting and generally being Gamey, underhanded swine. That's right ... GAMEY ... we LIKE GAMEY because the Outerboards DON'T.

Persephone

[Seanachai]

Fools rush in, as they say, and where angels have already trod, I feel quite safe in posting.

ROIGHT! HAVE YOU LOT NOTICED THAT PERSEPHONE'S STARTED THE NEW PENG CHALLENGE THREAD?!

BY THE NUMBERS, THEN, COUNT OFF!

[Panzer Leader]

My Kingdom for a Horse!

[OGSF]

Here mon, gi' some proper culture aintae ye....none o' tha' bandy legged sassanach crrap...

Willie Wastle dwalt on Tweed,

The spot they ca'd it Linkumdoddie;

Willie was a wabster gude,

Could stown a clue wi' ony body:

He had a wife was dour and din,

O Tinkler Maidgie was her mither;

Sic a wife as Willie had,

I wad na gie a button for her!

She has an e'e, she has but ane,

The cat has twa the very colour;

Five rusty teeth, forbye a stump,

A clapper tongue wad deave a miller:

A whiskin beard about her mou',

Her nose and chin they threaten ither;

Sic a wife as Willie had,

I wadna gie a button for her!

She's bow-hough'd, she's hein-shin'd,

Ae limpin leg a hand-breed shorter;

She's twisted right, she's twisted left,

To balance fair in ilka quarter:

She has a lump upon her breast,

The twin o' that upon her shouther;

Sic a wife as Willie had,

I wadna gie a button for her!

Auld baudrons by the ingle sits,

An' wi' her loof her face a-washin;

But Willie's wife is nae sae trig,

She dights her grunzie wi' a hushion;

Her walie nieves like midden-creels,

Her face wad fyle the Logan Water;

Sic a wife as Willie had,

I wadna gie a button for her!

[Moriarty]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Fools rush in, as they say, and where angels have already trod, I feel quite safe in posting.

ROIGHT! HAVE YOU LOT NOTICED THAT PERSEPHONE'S STARTED THE NEW PENG CHALLENGE THREAD?!

BY THE NUMBERS, THEN, COUNT OFF!

Bah!

zero, null, zip, nuttin

and stop shouting

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

<font size="-1">ROIGHT! HAVE YOU LOT NOTICED THAT PERSEPHONE'S STARTED THE NEW PENG CHALLENGE THREAD?!</font>

And the point of posting that IN this thread is?

[Stuka]

I think Seanachai's pissed again....

2 peach schnapps and he's anyones.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

<font size="-1">ROIGHT! HAVE YOU LOT NOTICED THAT PERSEPHONE'S STARTED THE NEW PENG CHALLENGE THREAD?!</font>

And the point of posting that IN this thread is?</font>

[dalem]

X) RE famous peoples: Samantha Strong touched my hand in a bar in 1993. Come to think of it, I had paid a steep cover charge and $5.00 for a watered-down drink to sit near the stage in a club and watch her pour Pert shampoo over her nubblies to a strobing Metallica soundtrack. Still, she touched my hand.

nichevo) Noba, send me a setup. With sugar on top.

omega) Games: I'm about to win some, I'm about to lose some.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Stuka:

I think Seanachai's pissed again....

2 peach schnapps and he's anyones.

Schnapps is something that only sodding Squareheads would drink. You Aussie's keep annoying me, and I'll do a 'special' on you on the next installment of "When Marlow Came To Schloss Peng".

Peach schnapps. The gorge rises just reading it.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by dalem:

X) RE famous peoples: Samantha Strong touched my hand in a bar in 1993. Come to think of it, I had paid a steep cover charge and $5.00 for a watered-down drink to sit near the stage in a club and watch her pour Pert shampoo over her nubblies to a strobing Metallica soundtrack. Still, she touched my hand.

Ah, yes. Famous people. Reminds me a bit about my own story, up in Northern Minnesota, some years back...

I remember a time when I was in a bar up north with Virginia Woolf, Dorothy Parker, and Colette, and three drunker women than they were that night cannot even be imagined. Woolf kept offering to armwrestle everyone in the bar, and was so obnoxious she kept calling all the Indian guys in the bar ‘chief’ and ‘tonto’. Parker kept falling off her barstool and lay laughing like crazy on the floor until we helped her up again, and Colette got up on the pool table (in heels, for the love of God), and started doing a striptease until we grabbed her and pulled her down. Charles Bukowski was with us, and he was so digusted he went home early. All these duck hunters and local guys kept coming up to Dorothy Parker and saying things like “Wow, Dorothy Parker! If I could say I’d traded comments and witty remarks with a woman like yourself, that’d be one of the most treasured memories of my life!” and Parker was saying things like “Yeah? Well why don’t you stick your finger up your arse and then suck on it like a popsicle. Is that witty enough for you, pissant?”. Anyway, it just got worse and worse. Virginia Woolf started swaggering around the bar knocking over guys’ beers and shouting “Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf?” Colette locked herself in a stall in the Men’s room with this lumberjack, and Parker threw-up onto the pool table, the foosball table, and one of those bowling-lane games where you skim the disk down to knock up the pins, and then started whipping the disk down the lane to show everyone ‘how much slicker it worked now’. It was a horrible, horrible experience, and by the end of the night half the guys in the bar where in tears. Around 2 am I remember saying to Dorothy Parker “Why? You are three of the most erudite, witty, and well-spoken women of this century. Why are you behaving like this?” and she looked up at me from where she was all but hanging from the bar, vomit all down the front of her dress and a Grainbelt still locked in her fist, her eyes red-rimmed and looking like two pissholes in a snowbank, and said the words that have stayed with me to this very day: “Because we’re scum”.

[Gyrene]

Junior member #8280 is named "Ancient One"

Does this mean he gets a free ride in here?

Yours truly

Gyrene of the Hill People

[Stuka]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

You Aussie's keep annoying me, and I'll do a 'special' on you on the next installment of "When Marlow Came To Schloss Peng".

You don't have the cajoles.

[Sgt. Beavis]

I think Peng and Seanachai are gay lovers.

My Peng thread is cooler than this, all the rest of you need to step it up another notch. There's a new guy in Peng-Land.

And I'll challenge any of you to a game and wipe clean your troops from the digital battlefield. Bwa ha ha.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Sgt. Beavis:

I think Peng and Seanachai are gay lovers.

My Peng thread is cooler than this, all the rest of you need to step it up another notch. There's a new guy in Peng-Land.

And I'll challenge any of you to a game and wipe clean your troops from the digital battlefield. Bwa ha ha.

Yes. How truly special.

I'm going out on a limb here, and sending this one to Coventry on his initial post. As I already have on the Outer Boards.

I ask all our members to ignore this child until BTS takes him in hand and shows him out.

Please do not botther telling him what an utterly sodding, useless, painfully disappointing waste of genetic material he is, as that will only convince him that he's been noticed.

Given his member number, he's clearly decided 'sod this Board', and no longer cares to belong to this community.

I pity children that grow up with the idea that 'liberty' is 'license'.

As Frank Zappa satirically sang:

"Freedom is where you don't have to do anything or pay for anything..."

[Stuka]

I thought that noise was just Bonzo the Siberian Hamster passing gas...

[Sgt. Beavis]

Seanachai...how old are you? 12?

You are getting all pissed off about my silly comments in my own thread, and now this one. That is really funny.

Go ahead and report me, BTS will see you are the first to have said something. Something quite rude and inappropriate, in fact. I'm not the better man, and couldn't refrain from responding, but I am the more intelligent one. I'm also not gay. Go lick Peng's nuts.

By the way, I don't think most people value your opinion over mine. No one knows you, or cares about you, you stupid twat. The same can be said about me, but I don't base my importance upon this message board. This is a COMPUTER. Not real life. So go ahead, get even more angry at me, I think it's hilarious.

Peng, peng, peng... pengachichiachachahahah.

Of course, I don't want to offend anyone else, just Seanachai. I thought it would be fun to jump into things and create some other useless, stupid Peng thread. But I guess it's not permissible to just be silly and post nonsense like everyone else because my member number is too high. Lol..you ****ing retard, Seanachai. You're funny.

[Captain Wacky]

Originally posted by Sgt. Beavis:

Seanachai...how old are you? 12?

*pinches nose, dives in*

Actually it quite sounds like a 12 year old has taken control of your keyboard and is holding your brain hostage. It's also occured to me that you may be drunk at this hour. How pathetic you are.

Say hello to all the other banned members for me You can ask Iron Chef Sakai how much fun it is to post polls no one answers at Combat Opinion. The little boy in the candy store becomes the poor urchin with faced pressed to pane wanting back in...

[Gyrene]

"Is he banned yet?"

"No"

"Is he banned yet?"

"No"

"....Is he banned yet?"

"No!"

"Is he ban.."

"Wait till Mad Matt gets here tomorrow and stop asking me, or I'll turn this thread around and go back home!!"

Gyrene

[Sgt. Beavis]

Maybe someone can explain to me why, when I started my own thread, which had nothing to do with Seanachai... and was completely useless, just like this thread... he jumped in, said something quite inappropriate and uncalled for. I came in here, posted another silly message. You know, nothing horrible, just to see if he has a weird sense of humor or something. Then he babbles like a stupid monkey about banning me again.

So what everyone in this useless thread is saying is that unless my member number is under 2000, or so, I can't post in the Peng thread. Or I can't make up my own stupid, useless thread. Christ almighty, I have sinned at the BTS altar. Ban me now... lol... I follow this silly, stupid thread with some interest now. I can't wait to see an official reply.

I enjoy trying to understand irrational behavior. It's quite fascinating to peek into the minds of the mightily stupid and insane.

[Berlichtingen]

Gaily bedight,

A gallant knight,

In sunshine and in shadow,

Had journeyed long,

Singing a song,

In search of Eldorado.

But he grew old-

This knight so bold-

And o'er his heart a shadow

Fell as he found

No spot of ground

That looked like Eldorado.

And, as his strength

Failed him at length,

He met a pilgrim shadow-

"Shadow," said he,

"Where can it be-

This land of Eldorado?"

"Over the Mountains

Of the Moon,

Down the Valley of the Shadow,

Ride, boldly ride,"

The shade replied-

"If you seek for Eldorado!"

Why? Because I like it and I felt like posting it

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Sgt. Beavis:

Maybe someone can explain to me why, when I started my own thread, which had nothing to do with Seanachai... and was completely useless, just like this thread... he jumped in, said something quite inappropriate and uncalled for.

Hmm, logistical error. I'm breaking my own call for Coventry, but I actually did make a mistake in my original post to him on the Outer Boards that should be explained.

By asking others not to respond to your idiotic thread, I simply meant 'other members of the Peng Challenge Thread'. On this point I was not clear. I saw no reason for a run on that thread by other members of the Cesspool before the Moderators shut it down. And normally, a 'counter-Peng thread' in the past has merely resulted in even more annoying behaviour than the original.

I'm glad to see, Sgt. Beavis, that you brought your irritation in here, rather than expanding a useless flame thread. Certainly my remarks regarding you were inflammatory, but given the nature of your attempts at a 'topic', I thought you seemed pretty much set on being annoying, starting a fight, and didn't much care how you were perceived. I would certainly regret and apologize for my thoughtless comment if anything you'd posted since contradicted that impression.

Any comments, lad, that you might have regarding myself, you are quite welcome to. But I'd prefer if you left family members such as my mother out of this, as you know absolutely nothing about her, and I can see no way in which she might have injured you.

Also, you might want to refrain from your rather aggressive use of expletives. Even in the Peng Challenge Thread, we show a certain restraint, out of our limited sense of common courtesy.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Why? Because I like it and I felt like posting it

Why are you still up? Or are you working some hideous shift again.

I guess it's true that 'Evil never rests'.

Still I hope it at least naps, occasionaly.

[BFCElvis]

Wankers.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Why? Because I like it and I felt like posting it

Why are you still up? Or are you working some hideous shift again.

I guess it's true that 'Evil never rests'.

Still I hope it at least naps, occasionaly.</font>