Now is the Challenge of our discontent, made horrid cess by this son of Peng

[MrPeng]

Gak! a Fieldmouse! The trouble and strife hates them meeses to pieces - won't 'ave 'em in the 'ouse.

Anywho, it is imperative that someone stop the substishakespearian silliness right away as I have hurt an eyeball eyeballing it all and trying to make headnertail of it.

I just can't think of the appropriate words to express my joy that the ssn population TRIPLED for two reasons.

x. some bastarrrrd (thank ewe OSGSDFLMONP for the rolling 'r') mentioned some horrid little pillock and he appeared, in a way similar to our pal Berli but completely lacking in wit, panache, evil, fire, brimstone, fear loathing and or a pair(!), as we all know we will experience when the master of all that is dark appears. I think the Sewer Maven er, what?! DRAIN COMMISSIONER? yes, that's it, Drain Commissioner should have a look at this particular phenomenon. While one could make the leap to say that it is nearly a TRADITION to have a pack of undisciplined, wet behind the knees, pudlian wannabe SSN's arrive at the start of each new [bowed heads] incarnation of the MBT [/bowed heads]It occurs to this particular Pod that there oughta be a law or somefink agin it.

42. Shakespear schmakes-spear, who gives a rat's bottom bits? How about a little Edward Abbey or some HST? The 'pool is a perfect place for Slumgullion Stew - Just because some twirling fartknocker read R & J in the ninth grade doesn't mean it qualifies him to flounce in here and murder words and mince names and commit other acts of unmitigated arse-sniffing.

7. Crikey, next some yabo will mince in spouting from Dante's Inferno only they will cleverly substitute MrSlappityDragoon's name for something and throw in a refence to Canada or Finland. Yippeeee.

Part the last.

There is no part the last.

Peng

P. S. I am thinking of a new sig - Try this one on for size - "It is a scientific FACT that people who call themselves by titles to which they can never hope to aspire in this or any subsequent life are typically pimply faced gits with willies the size of golf scoring pencils, gonads like raisins and who are about as clever and intriguing as a dose of the clap." - Peng

How does that sound for a sig file? Pretty good? no? NO!? You say it is too much like someone else's idiot prat? Well I'll be a wombat's midwife, so it is. I guess I'll just stick with my current one. Besides, I love breakfast meats.

Peng - no really this is the last thing- honest.

P.P.S Why are you still reading this? Go away!

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Spook:

From Captain Wacky, in the "other thread"....

-----------------

Drivel

The universe would simply "cease" to be, possibly similar to the legend that if one pronounces the name of God backwards he or she will undue all of creation.

More Drivel

Copyright of Captain Wacky 2001<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"Dog." Uh, is all of creation undone?

Damn.

[Fieldmarshall]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

"Dog." Uh, is all of creation undone?

Damn.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well now that you uttered the truth, we have all been doomed to hell...thanks for ruining it Mr. Peng...

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>"Dog." Uh, is all of creation undone?

Damn.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I think he means Jehovah ... you know ... havohej ... Opps! Sorry, Sorry! ... my bad.

Joe

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

"Dog." Uh, is all of creation undone?

Damn.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Actually, uttering that word just causes the supply of dry vermouth to evaporate over night, leaving only mass quantities of sweet vermouth for martini mixing. It also means that all beer disapeers in a single pop leaving only Boag's and Budwiesser beer remaining. Finally your CD-ROM drive turns into an 8-Track Cart player.

Of course it is worse than that. The juju takes a while to build, but it will happen suddenly in the next 75 days.

Drink em while you have them.

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I think he means Jehovah ... you know ... havohej ... Opps! Sorry, Sorry! ... my bad.

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Or possibly Elohim, Mihole!

Or YVWH, which is HWVY, a military acronym of some sort.

Or Jeru, which becomes Urej/

Or if you are more santeria, it is Papa Gedeg, which would be Papa Gedeg backwards.....

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iskander:

... slower than Dalem's comprehension, he is.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Huh?

[OGSF]

Mah auld Da's a dustmon,

Hae wears a dustmon's hat,

Hae wears gor' blimey troosers

An' hae lives ain a council flat.

He looks a prroper nana

Fraim haes haid doon tae has boots,

An'at's sae harrd tae pull thaim oop

Hae calls thaim daisy roots.

Oye!

Boot hark, wot ****e throo yonda' winda' brreaks?

'Tis tha east, an' Mace as full o' ****e!

Bastaarrrds.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Seanachai]

Now it's said, and said truly, that if one day passes without Peng being named, the World will surely come to an end.

So given the way things are going, I think it's best to name him here now.

This is the opening of a longer lay about Peng, and the Knights of the Cesspool.

But that's not the story I came to tell to you tonight...although I do know it.

No, I came to speak with you tonight about a man who's made many hard and often stupid choices. A man who's always regarded the Peng Challenge Thread as the very best and brightest that a 'Challenge' thread can be. And who has often weathered how often it can attract the very worst and most useless of posters, and even fail in it's promise.

But mostly he's seen it fall in between, and been rather to the better than to the worse.

It's about a man who's damned dissapointed with the nature of people he thought better of.

Now, we've been challenged once again on the idea that the Peng Challenge Thread has 'too many rules', and 'too much arcana'. This from Grogs of all the sodding cheek! Folk who can spit and hiss at each other for days at a time about the smallest goddamn detail regarding unit/AFV/weapon characteristics. Significant, no doubt, or why would such otherwise intelligent folk spend that much energy and erudition on the most microscopic details of something that's been bloody goddamn history for over 50 years, eh?

But now, what do I see? That these self same arbiters of importance, these shamans of detail and significance, show up in the largest, longest running thread in the history of the forum, and dismiss the details, significance, and realities of The Peng Challenge Thread. It's 'too arcane'. It has 'too many rules'. What a load of complete ****e.

Perhaps Slapdragon would prefer that The Peng Challenge Thread be re-coded so that: 'my stupid gay-bashing humour response should have been more widely received!' or 'I think the Peng Challenge Thread is improperly modeled because I made another dick joke, and nobody laughed!', or perhaps 'Hey, what's with the Peng Challenge Thread?! I showed up there and posted about my bowel movements, and I wasn't immediately regarded as the final word in humour!'

By all means, lets set up a Farm Club on the General Forum! Let's create a place for people who won't make the effort to rise above their own stupidity, to make an effort at real wit, nor rise above posting their own prejudices and assholery as humour. It will spare the Peng Challenge Thread the burden of dealing with them. The Peng Challenge Thread is not always the way taunting should be, by any means. But it acknowledges the way taunting should be, and polices itself to the best of its abilities.

You will see literature, poetry, song, and a multitude of issues addressed on the Peng Challenge Thread, although often mainly in terms of parody and satire. Which is far more than you will see elsewhere. You will see, at least on occasion, people make an attempt at posting a taunt, a position, an insult based on more than a lazy dependency on stupid ****e.

I applaud Slapdragon's 'anti-peng' thread on the General Forum. So far, it seems to be primarily concerned with posts about bodybuilding, and gay-bashing. Such an interesting juxtaposition. I wish him well with it.

I renounce him as Squire. Let someone else pick him up. Some Samurai were 'Ronin' for good reasons.

[Berlichtingen]

Kinda like graduation day here in the MT

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>Fieldmarshall... Here is your certificate of idiocy. you may leave now.

<LI>Terance, you certificate. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

<LI>Spook, you just squeeked by, but here you go. You are now officially an idiot. Go forth to the outer board. We'll summon you when you can return.

<LI>Slappy! With Seanachai givin' you the boot, you are now qualified! Congradulations, you are now an idiot. Enjoy, but please enjoy it outside.

Did I miss anyone else?

[edited to add to the list]

[ 10-04-2001: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ]

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

I renounce him as Squire. Let someone else pick him up.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Outstanding!!! 'bout time you came to your senses! That would make slappy the Ronin Idiot!

[Slapdragon]

Ronin Squire again. merely for providing a popular service to the board. By the way, I did not name that thread the antiPeng thread, I merely stated that many want to have a mens club where the atmosphere was looser, the talk more free, and the insults and challenges still pungent. So I created an anarchy to stand in contrast to the theocracy of Peng.

Wittgenstien sure was correct.

Slapdragon, Ronin Squire.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

Wittgenstien sure was correct.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The beery swine?

[Slapdragon]

I think that soon, lacking a knight to guide me, it will be time for my elevation to Samurai (more like a Don Quixoti version seeing my outer board activities). It is sad but true of course. Not that sad, since Meeks knighted me himself about a year ago, but since that was Meeks, I choose to accept squiredom as the equivilant.

Now my question is Berli, have you ever read Wittgenstien or is it just a book you got from your maiden aunt and now you keep it on your shelf to seem intellectal.

Here is one for the erudite Pang-ers. Berger and Luckman predicted you 35 years ago. You are the ultimate example of their greatest work come to life.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Received from Lorak via email:

Mace,

Hows it going? Hope things find you well.

I was wondering if you could do me a favor. Since the attack of Sept 11. My company decided that instead of flying back and worth, that we would just stay until the job was done. We should finish today! Hell, finally was able to get out onto the net from here and get to my yahoo account!

I still can not get to the forum though, what is why I am asking you a favor.

Could you post a short message telling everyone that I am ok and should be back in the states friday afternoon. I will try to gett turns out to everyone by the weekend.

Have a good one!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

A good what?

I am quite happy to post this for Lorak albut for a nominal fee.

btw, Although he didn't indicate this in his email, I know he believes you to all be pathetic low-lives, myself included.

Mace

{edited to make it more visually appealing. Funny, I have a preminition Berli may be about to post something witty}

[ 10-04-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

I know he believes you to all pathetic low-lives, myself included.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And in your case, Mace old boy, he'd be correct

[Mace]

Whoops, I was mistaken!

[Berlichtingen]

Touché, ya nong

[Lawyer]

So the Aliens are returning Lorak to us... Did they use him as a sex toy or a pet toy; a scratching post or just an appetizer before dinner. They must have upped their standards to want gits that have good taste and also taste good.

I suggest that Berli's group of well-deserved evictees be placed out on the Pool doorstep for Alien adoption. They look so cute with their dull, stupid gazes.

[Spook]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

<LI>Spook, you just squeeked by, but here you go. You are now officially an idiot. Go forth to the outer board. We'll summon you when you can return.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

BFD. Slap already uprated me from idiot to dolt earlier on.

Granted, the posting of Cpt Wacky's theory was lame in its assumption that any "regular" (very loosely defined) in here had enough wits to be educated by it. And Peng, given his vice for self-consumption, pushed us all closer to the apocalypse. But in the interim, Wacky's inspired comments made a great spam.

It could again, someday........

("squeak")

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

They look so cute with their dull, stupid gazes.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You talking SSNs?

I was going to offer to carry out frontal labotomy's on them but I figured what's the use, no one would notice the difference!

Mace

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Spook:

BFD. Slap already uprated me from idiot to dolt earlier on.

Granted, the posting of Cpt Wacky's theory was lame in its assumption that any "regular" (very loosely defined) in here had enough wits to be educated by it. And Peng, given his vice for self-consumption, pushed us all closer to the apocalypse. But in the interim, Wacky's inspired comments made a great spam.

It could again, someday........

("squeak")<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Heck, I will promote you and Mace to Dolt in one ceremony.

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

Anywho, it is imperative that someone stop the substishakespearian silliness right away as I have hurt an eyeball eyeballing it all and trying to make headnertail of it.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I MET a traveller from a horrid place

Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the filth . . . Near them, in the cess,

Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And drunken look, and sneer of cold contempt,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which still survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them, and the smilie that fled;

And on the pedestal these words appear:

"My name is Peng the Pod, Challenger of things:

Look upon my work, ye Wankers, and despair!"

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal pod, fetid and vile

The lone and level pool stretch far away.

[Slapdragon]

I think this comes from Midsummers Night Dream.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Peng caught a ride into South Dakota

With two gits in a light blue Desoto.

One's name was Geier, the other was queer (unusual)

But they both had racing motors.

Next Peng caught a ride with a gambler’s Lawyer

He had a brand new, lay down Rambler.

He parked outside of town,

laid the Rambler down

Lawyer said he sure could dig it if Peng rode her.

Peng’s Doing his best to get back to the cess

Ain't nothing he’d rather do.

Look for him Sunday, gonna be there honey

Something special just for bauhaus

Special just for Bauhaus (or is that love and rockets).

Made a truck stop for toothpick and water

I got a ride from fruit picker Berlichtingen.

Drove her through the night, let the fruit just rot

Said All I could eat for a quarter.

Next, hopped a train with a hobo Marlow

He was from Ginny too.

The way that he did, what he did, when he did what he did to Peng made him think of the pool.

Yeah honey made him think of the pool.

Peng’s Doing his best to get back to the cess

Ain't nothing he’d rather do.

Look for him Sunday, gonna be there honey

Something special just for bauhaus

Special just for Bauhaus (or is that love and rockets). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[ 10-04-2001: Message edited by: Slapdragon ]

[MrSpkr]

Gak. Idiot alert back on. It seems that the twit from the Outer Board (YOU know how YOU are), despite the fact that he feels he can argue over the accuracy of a Heer 88mm FLAK being used in December 1944 in Holland, in the rain, by a green crew with a veteran corporal missing one eye, part of an ear, and two fingers off his left hand, at night, at a stationary RAM Kangaroo with standard markings and a sleepy driver sipping lukewarm coffee from a tin cup, can't seem to appreciate the fact that NOONE here is impressed. No one here cares about his knowledge of mindless minutia, other than to collect on wagers regarding his sexuality, as knowledge of the rarity of German 75mm AP shells bearing warm messages from the homefront in maroon lipstick is proof positive that he has never even KISSED a girl. (Side Note -- Pay up, Joe!)

Instead, like so many mindless idiots before him, he appears to believe that his presence is wanted, nay needed here to brighten our pathetic little lives.

Well, let me tell you something laddie -- we don't WANT to brighten our petty little lives -- THAT'S WHY WE LIVE IN THE SEWER, YOU IDJIT!

Let me be clearer -- now that Maximus, your constant foil in the General Forum is gone, your true personality and worth are apparent. You see, with Maximus here, you were viewed as a sort of eccentric old uncle -- the kind who is a bit odd, but whom the family puts up with so as not to upset Great-Grandma (his older sister), who is after all easily excited and not in such great health. After great-grandma dies, however, the uncle just becomes another pain-in-the-butt old guy who cracks too many dirty jokes, eats too much of other poeople's food, stains the couch, constantly reeks of urine and other various bodily or execretory odors, and forgets to brush his teeth on anything approaching even a WEEKLY basis.

Like that great-uncle, without MAximus around you are nothing more than and obnoxious lackwit with an immature sense of humour. Panzer Leader comes off as a charming, intelligent, and lively dinner companion next to your drivel.

Go back to making PBS documentaries about armed teachers conducting full body cavity searches on unsuspecting interns or something. Make some grog-kiddie porn, or whatever it is you people engage in, but go away in any event. Your puerile remarks are unwelcome here.