Who Goes with Fergus, Then, to the Peng Challenge Thread?

[costard]

You guys do realize that when you look into the abyss, you are, in fact, looking into the abyss?

I'm blinded. Now I don't get to see what's in the abyss. That was uncalled for.

[stikkypixie]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIr8-f2OWhs.

[Michael Emrys]

You guys do realize that when you look into the abyss, you are, in fact, looking into the abyss?

You've just been to another of those week-long Bergman festivals, right?

Michael

[Boo Radley]

Peter Bergman of Firesign Theatre?

[Michael Emrys]

No, man. Ingrid.

Michael

[Stuka]

I'M BACK!!!

Trim, taut, tanned and terrific!

Who are all you people again? (and I use the term 'people' in its broadest possible sense)

[Michael Emrys]

I'M BACK!!!

How many untreatable fungus infections did you pick up this time?

Michael

[Boo Radley]

You guys do realize that when you look into the abyss, you are, in fact, looking into the abyss?

I stared into the abyss once and it stared back.

But it blinked first.

[Stuka]

How many untreatable fungus infections did you pick up this time?

I do have a small Emrys patch under my big toenail, but I have a treatment that is slowly clearing it up. I wonder if it would also make you go away only quicker?

[Sergei]

I stared into the abyss once and it stared back.

But it blinked first.

...then it pointed its finger at you and laughed.

[Joe Shaw]

I do have a small Emrys patch under my big toenail, but I have a treatment that is slowly clearing it up. I wonder if it would also make you go away only quicker?

Oh, those are nasty ... you should cut your toe off immediately. Don't want to take any chances on it spreading.

Joe

[Boo Radley]

Oh, those are nasty ... you should cut your toe off immediately.

Right about at the neck. Just to play it safe.

[Boo Radley]

...then it pointed its finger at you and laughed.

Nothing of the sort, Sirgayguy (Not that there's anything wrong with that...). Abysses, being abyssal sorts of things, don't have fingers to point and must resort to nodding the head, which as we all know is much the same as a wink to a blind man.

Do you understand now?

[Seanachai]

Who's Fergus?

Who isn't, dear Lady? And who would not be?

[Seanachai]

I had a fungus issue once. It involved mushrooms, a Tragically Hip concert, a twit, a cup of water, an angry young woman and a case of mistaken identity. Much hair-pulling was involved. Quite unpleasant.

You know, many might doubt my words, but I had EXACTLY this same situation once, but the outcome was marvelous.

There should be some term, encompassing the concept of 'synchronicity', that involves an antithetical outcome to the consanguineous experience.

But perhaps I wax too — well, everything for this crowd.

The truth is, I am not a particularly intellectual man. I am a short, fat, vulgar man of questionable tastes in everything except literature, poetry, song, liquor, women, politics...

Well, my taste in most everything worth a goddamn is good. However, I remain a short, fat vulgar man.

Shaw belittles me. And that, combined with the fact that my tastes are superlative, and the fact that I am, in fact, a short, fat, vulgar man, are enough.

I have been vastly blessed by life. I cannot even begin to entail it all, nor would anyone here be much improved by knowing how much a short, fat, vulgar man from Minnesota has been raised above them in terms of 'quality of life' experiences. Suffice to say that I have drunk truly awful wine from a huge jug underneath a bridge by a river in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, within sight of a reproduction of Michelangelo's 'David', that the City Fathers dumped into an unvisited corner of the city because the citizens decided it was 'almost pornographic', and I have eaten 'haute cuisine' in Las Vegas casinos because my father was a guest of the General Management because he was considered 'a high roller, likely to dump money' into a town built on the concept that PT Barnum vastly over-rated the intellect of America.

As I sit here, I contemplate the story that a good friend told me about how his best friend from the seminary was judged to be of such exceptional merit that he was sent to the Vatican for his religious doctorate, and induction into the Church. And, as he entered into one of those churches for which the Vatican is so justly famed, replete with gold leaf, statuary, and priceless works of art, all of it priceless beyond estimation, he proclaimed to his companion: "If this be poverty, then bring on the celibacy!"

My friends, and I call you my friends, because, truth be told, you're like a gang of apes that would be adrift, completely adrift, without even my shallow attempts at intellect, I say to you: If this be mockery, and abuse, then bring on Hell. It will, finally, be an experience worth the pain.

And, to lend that special moment that are part of all my posts, let me send this your way, in terms of 'synchronicity': While I was writing this, I was listening to iTunes, specifically Alasdair Fraser's 'Return to Kintail', which, for reasons too weird to explore, suddenly led into the MP3 of Joe Shaw's 'First Podcast to the Peng Challenge Thread'.

He's got a lovely speaking voice, our Shaw. Have you ever listened to his Podcasts? Lovely voice.

Of course, it raises the question. Would Shaw have honoured his oath and fought for the Union, or would he have fought for the Confederacy?

[Seanachai]

Joe,

Sorry to offend as a visitor to a foreign land.

Eh? The Three Old Ones of the Peng Challenge Thread are all Americans. Send us your tired, your poor, your yearning masses longing to post free. My grandmother's family weren't welcome to land in New York, because they were Irish. They came in from Canada. Anyone tells you you aren't welcome to post here, lad, you refer them to me. You're as welcome to abuse as anyone. We have our own way here, but it's our way, lad, and everyone is welcome. You get up and tell those buggers here to sod off, same as our folk did.

I was on a few a days off work with a crippling back problem (this is a true story), the doctor perscribed me Valium (as a muscle relaxant!!) and Naprosyn (as an anti-inflamatory).

After a couple of days cabin fever got the better of me I ignored the 'avoid alcholol' labels. In my delirium I thought I'd post and ask the ultimate question of existence

And we will give you the Ultimate Answer to that question: Get in there and fight like a bastard. What's on your mind, eh? Got something to say? Say it.

I now realise the question of the existence of this thread is existential or just not worth thinking about.

Don't just piss off. Go all Existential on their arses!

My humble apologies.

Bah! I wave my hand at you! Apologize only to your betters.

All the best,

note in travelogue: hostile locals, avoid conversation, crap beer.

Well, I'm drinking crap beer right now, but it don't mean nothing.

[Seanachai]

You guys do realize that when you look into the abyss, you are, in fact, looking into the abyss?

And when the Abyss looks back, it had better be buying the next fecking round, or God help it...

[bodkin]

Seanachai,

An unexpected gentleman has arisen from the condemed souls of this thread.

"No shepherd and one herd! Everybody wants the same, everybody is the same: whoever feels different goes voluntarily into a madhouse."

[Patch]

The truth is, I am not a particularly intellectual man. I am a short, fat, vulgar man of questionable tastes in everything except literature, poetry, song, liquor, women, politics...

Well, my taste in most everything worth a goddamn is good. However, I remain a short, fat vulgar man.

Shaw belittles me. And that, combined with the fact that my tastes are superlative, and the fact that I am, in fact, a short, fat, vulgar man, are enough.

You forgot ....with a red pointy hat.

Of course, it raises the question. Would Shaw have honoured his oath and fought for the Union, or would he have fought for the Confederacy?

Sadly, I have to say he would have fought for the Confederacy. He is a Texan.

[Joe Shaw]

Seanachai, I can only reply that I do not belittle you ... in fact in the preceding line to your suggestion that I belittle you, you yourself said that you were a ... and I quote here ...

... little man ...

Unquote. So I fail to see how I could belittle you when you have already belittled you.

There were a disturbing number of "you's" in that weren't there.

As to the conundrum between the choice of North and South I'm glad I never had to make that choice. It was, by all accounts, a gut wrenching experience and led close friends to part and, in some cases, later meet on the battlefield. Lewis Armistead and Winfield Scott Hancock being perhaps the most famous.

http://pw2.netcom.com/~buck1755/armisteadhancock.htm

What would I do in that case? If it came down to fighting for Texans or fighting for ManySodans ... well there really isn't much doubt is there.

I'm just happy that I can virtually fly the skies of France in my Pfalz D3a without worrying about such things.

Whoa ... bit of vertigo there from the abrupt subject change eh? I planned it that way.

As to the creature calling himself podking or something like that ... I'll give him one thing ... his actual name is a tool used in fly tying ... but that's all I'll give him. If he can't take one simple SOD OFF without running from the room with skirts aflutter and lace hanky held to his lips then he's not CessPool material.

You were always too soft on the SSNs Seanachai, it's a failing I've often noticed with you.

Joe

[Boo Radley]

... Joe Shaw's 'First Podcast to the Peng Challenge Thread'.

He's got a lovely speaking voice, our Shaw. Have you ever listened to his Podcasts? Lovely voice.

And just what the hell am I, Olde man? Chopped liver? And if so, I am a pate of such ambrosial vintage and flavour (note the hoity-toity 'u') to be completely wasted on a yoick such as yourself, you dung-wallowing, swill-swallowing bassssssstarrrrrrrd!

Without my input, Shaw's podcasts would have had all the emotional titillation of a 60 cycle hum and many is the time he confided in me, "Boo, without your input, these podcasts would have all the emotional titillation of a 60 cycle hum."

Bah! Why do I waste my time on someone who's taste in entertainment revolves around reality television and memorizing the scripts of old "Lum and Abner" broadcasts and then re-enacting them with finger puppets!

[Joe Shaw]

And just what the hell am I, Olde man? Chopped liver? And if so, I am a pate of such ambrosial vintage and flavour (note the hoity-toity 'u') to be completely wasted on a yoick such as yourself, you dung-wallowing, swill-swallowing bassssssstarrrrrrrd!

Without my input, Shaw's podcasts would have had all the emotional titillation of a 60 cycle hum and many is the time he confided in me, "Boo, without your input, these podcasts would have all the emotional titillation of a 60 cycle hum."

Bah! Why do I waste my time on someone who's taste in entertainment revolves around reality television and memorizing the scripts of old "Lum and Abner" broadcasts and then re-enacting them with finger puppets!

Sheer and utter balderdash ... I MADE you pal, without my firm hand on the tiller of the ship of the podcast you'd have been nothing ... NOTHING.

It was my clever and witty scripting that turned what would have been nothing more than an annoying and, frankly, embarassing jumble of train of thought mutterings on your side into something that was barely acceptable. Luckily I was on hand, with my svelte and trained voice, to pull your chestnuts out of the fire and turn in a well respected and highly competent podcast.

Honestly, a good deal of my decision to suspend the podcast was due to the relief I felt in not having to "work" with you again.

Joe

[Boo Radley]

Sheer and utter balderdash ... I MADE you pal, without my firm hand on the tiller of the ship of the podcast you'd have been nothing ... NOTHING.

It was my clever and witty scripting that turned what would have been nothing more than an annoying and, frankly, embarassing jumble of train of thought mutterings on your side into something that was barely acceptable. Luckily I was on hand, with my svelte and trained voice, to pull your chestnuts out of the fire and turn in a well respected and highly competent podcast.

Honestly, a good deal of my decision to suspend the podcast was due to the relief I felt in not having to "work" with you again.

Joe

Oh, PUH-LEEZE!

Without my witty and intensely creative vignettes (That's RIGHT! I said vignettes! DEAL with it!) all you would have had was that scratchy WW1 tune that was even more annoying than the theme song from Star Trek: Enterprise and those "interviews" which dragged on and on and consisted of in depth and insightful queries like "So... CM, eh?" and " If you were a tank, which one would you be?" and who could forget, "Why do you pronounce it 'Pang' when it's so obviously Ping?"

And do you recall your very first interview when you confused me with Seanachai? Boy, I bet David Frost breathed a huge sigh of relief when he heard that turkey fly over.

No, face it Joe. If Seanachai was praising you, you can bet your bottom dollar he want something from you and with a stroke job of this magnitude, you should probably be wearing some kind of kidney protection, if you know what I mean.

[Joe Shaw]

Oh, PUH-LEEZE!

Without my witty and intensely creative vignettes (That's RIGHT! I said vignettes! DEAL with it!) all you would have had was that scratchy WW1 tune that was even more annoying than the theme song from Star Trek: Enterprise and those "interviews" which dragged on and on and consisted of in depth and insightful queries like "So... CM, eh?" and " If you were a tank, which one would you be?" and who could forget, "Why do you pronounce it 'Pang' when it's so obviously Ping?"

And do you recall your very first interview when you confused me with Seanachai? Boy, I bet David Frost breathed a huge sigh of relief when he heard that turkey fly over.

No, face it Joe. If Seanachai was praising you, you can bet your bottom dollar he want something from you and with a stroke job of this magnitude, you should probably be wearing some kind of kidney protection, if you know what I mean.

Seanachai was making a perfectly valid and, in this case, insightful (I know, I'm as surprised as you) point about the nature of my voice. Obviously YOUR voice, if you care to call it that, would more accurately be compared to the sound of a cat whose tail was caught in a mousetrap.

As to my interviewing techniques ... have YOU ever tried to get something of more than two syllables out of Berli ... something not profane from Peng or LESS of anything out of Seanachai? I was clearly constrained by the quality (or lack thereof) of my guests.

Who can forget the Christmas episode we did, with themed carols and greetings from all and sundry? Or the offers of Premium Membership in the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread?

And I thought "Tipperary" was well in keeping with the theme and motif of the CessPool.

You're just jealous ... still.

Joe

[Boo Radley]

Jealous? If YOU??? Oh, Joe...

Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, dear, sweet, misguided, apparently in need of much higher doses on your medication Joe.

The only thing I envy you for is your rich and convoluted fantasy world. Compared to you, Lewis Carrol had the unbounded imagination of a New England farmer.