Seanachai Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 [serious] I have been dealing with Seanachai’s gang tactics for a year. I have put with Bauhaus threatening to kill me, which Steve from Battlefront had to straighten out. Leeo sending me stupid e-mails saying how cool he thinks I am. Berlitchin starting a thread directed solely at me and making posts directed at me whenever Seanachai asks him to. Joe following me around the Forum and now Patchy attacking my children. [/serious] What else do some of you candy assed motherfeckers got? MINIONS, ATTACK! ... ATTACK, I SAY! ... Hmmm...a bit like the last time. I dropped the stop watch while I was trying to open my beer, and I'll be goddamned if I'll crawl down there under the desk with the empty cans and pretzel bags to try and find it. In any case, the results would be the same. It doesn't matter if I time non-results. Abbot, it is just conceivable that you are as stupid as you keep making yourself out to be. I find it absolutely awe-inspiring that you continue to believe in my 'puppet master' role in this Thread, your Life, and, quite possibly, the World. Apparently, in your mythology, there is no way that anyone could possibly make a simple joke about you, unless they were directed to do so by 'Evil Powers'. Also, you seem equally incapable of understanding the concept that people might tease you, simply because they thought that something you'd posted was silly, or stupid, or because they might just want to make a joke about it. Finally, you seem almost psychotically convinced that when you go out of your way to be dismissive, annoying and abusive; clueless about jokes, hypocritical about anyone's right to voice an opinion, and patronizing regarding their rights, that the only reason other people might give you s***e about it is because I, the Puppet Master of the Peng Challenge Thread, have aimed them all at you like a bunch of pit-bull RPGs. Seemingly you're oblivious to the fact that I don't control a vast army of minions, who gang swarm you at my merest whim, but rather that you're a deeply annoying c***s****r, and that a lot of people simply deeply dislike you. I don't know what I can do to assure you that I haven't been punching buttons in my Secret Headquarters, sending out the message to 'Destroy Abbott'! Seriously, I've always gone out of my way to welcome you in here, because even a Sacred Pool should have a dumb ass who pisses into it while smiling and waving at the outraged acolytes. Doesn't mean I agree with you, or even like you. In a lot of ways, that really doesn't matter. Especially in a place like this, which is a half-way house for the mockers, the insulters, and the goof-balls. Your insistence that I'm 'directing people against you' is starting to go beyond mere paranoia, and getting into the deeper waters of psychosis. You keep bringing up Berli. Do you want the truth? It's not that I've been urging him on to attack you. He simply thinks that you're an incredible a*****e. I've actually asked him to be more restrained about voicing that opinion, so that he doesn't get banned from the Board. So, when you get right down to it, Abbott, the real deal is, you and I are both out-spoken, opinionated, and, ultimately, basically bastards. The difference between us is starting to be that I can make a joke, and take one, and apparently, you can only make jokes, but not take them. Also, just so you understand about the whole 'Controlling Bastard Directing His Minions To Attack Me' thing? Most of that isn't a matter of me trying to get people to attack you. A great deal of that boils down to the fact that, for whatever weird reason, people actually like me. I know, it's weird, eh? But the fact remains that a great many of them don't like you. Why should they? Lately you've gone out of your way to make sure everyone knows that you only come here to shove your cock in everyone's face, and to make sure they know you're doing it. It's not like you're defending your access to your buddies, your right to hang with your people, eh? I'm not saying you need to work on your 'people skills', Abbott. Because we both know how to react to that statement. What you need to work on is your 'Not being so much of an annoying a*****e and getting in everyone's face because you only come here to be an annoying a*****e and get in everyone's face' skills. Seriously. Going off on Patch? She's probably the nicest and most charming person in this place. She's had fun with everyone here. Are you such a fecking big girl's blouse that you'd make someone feel bad for simply posting a silly picture? Although, you know, I mean, it is terrible that she posted a picture that made your large, bearded, burly sons seem less than manly. I'm sure that, if you'd informed them of it, they would have cried themselves to sleep. I can only imagine how long you sat there, with that barrel in your mouth, debating if this insult to your progeny was significant enough to justify pulling the trigger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Wait! Did I just post that people liked me?! What I meant was, people fear me! That's right, they fear me, and they will go to any length to do my bidding! They will pull their own heart out through their arsehole rather than risk incurring my wrath! They will... Oh, sod that for a game of tin soldiers. How many here like me, rather than fear me? I have seen the sleeping knights of Jesus Gazing out across the open sea I have seen the sleeping knights of Jesus And they look extremely tired to me Dyin' of starvation in the gutter That is all the future holds for me Or alcoholic poisoning in the toilet of my choice That's all there is, as far as I can see Fried to death in seconds by the Russians Or if you're lucky just a sudden stroke A lingering death from fallout as your teeth and hair fall out A certain death from cancer if you smoke But I have seen the sleeping knights of Jesus Gazing out across the open sea I have seen the sleeping knights of Jesus And they look extremely tired to me Put your faith in God, he won't expect you Put your faith in death because it's free If you believe in nothing, honey, it believes in you For God's sake don't waste any faith on me When he comes to judge us in his glory Then we'll see how old a man can get He must be feeling ancient up there on the rim of space Two thousand years and he ain't been back yet But I have seen the sleeping knights of Jesus Rub their eyes and gape at what they see I have seen the sleeping knights of Jesus And it looks as though they've noticed me 'Ye Sleeping Knights of Jesus' -Robyn Hitchcock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 I like both of you That is to say, I'd like both of you to be standing, doe-eyed in the dazzle of my headlights as I flatten the pair of you under the mighty Silverado so you can inspect the performance exhaust up close and personal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 21, 2008 Author Share Posted August 21, 2008 How many here like me, rather than fear me? Like you? LIKE YOU??? Aww, c'mon Bubbeleh, remember that time in the 'Nam when you and I were "on patrol" in the back alleys of Nokandu and you saved my life by throwing yourself on that live hooker? Wait... that was some other guy. Who are you, again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 How many here like me, rather than fear me? ÜberGnome, I have tried to be afraid of you, sorry, but there is nothing scary about a Garden Gnome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Gee...I like everybody!!! Who's not to like among this bunch? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Well theres Emrys for a start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Well theres Emrys for a start. You know, for once you're right! However, he is one of those "others recognized" fellers, and not worthy of true comtempt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Like you Seanachai? How could I possibly like a man who fed me stew when I was faint from hunger, who not only allowed me to dump silverware on his floor but laughed it off in the aftermath, who put up with my tantrums on and off line, who livened up my day on more than one occassion simply by something he wrote, who played games of CM online with me (though I don't recall you ever showing me the simple courtesy of losing one of them) and who has been a fellow wanderer in this wasteland of the internets. No I don't like you, lad ... but neither do I fear you as, apparently, some here do. As to raising hordes of acolytes to do your biding, hell man you couldn't even come up with a decent mortal enemy ... and Gawd knows you tried. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 ATTACK! You know the truth, I know the truth and Leeo knows the truth, so play your childlike games all you want you troll. Or do what you usually do and run to Berli. Other then that shove it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 To set the record straight gas here works out at 84 cents per gallon so yeah, mileage doesn't really matter. The instruction I've given to the company thats programming the new PCU for the truck is to give it max performance and don't worry about the mileage. In order to compensate for my increased carbon footprint Performance is good. I don't worry about other Gore like things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 You know the truth, I know the truth and Leeo knows the truth, so play your childlike games all you want you troll. Or do what you usually do and run to Berli. Now that's just a damned lie ... Leeo wouldn't know a truth if it bit him on the butt ... and it probably has. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 ÜberGnome, I have tried to be afraid of you, sorry, but there is nothing scary about a Garden Gnome. Oh yes there is. Always lurking out there in the asperagus patch, just waiting for you to squat down. Be afraid. Be very afraid.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Oh yes there is. Always lurking out there in the asperagus patch, just waiting for you to squat down. Be afraid. Be very afraid.... Yeah, he's a real sh*t head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 I am truly amazed at the lengths grown men pursue in order to belittle each other. Can't we all just get along? /serious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 I am truly amazed at the lengths grown men pursue in order to belittle each other. Can't we all just get along? /seriousShut the hell up you freak of nature ... if Gawd had intended man to pursue martial arts he would have given them hands and feet ... uh ... okay maybe that didn't come out exactly right but you ARE a freak and don't try to deny it! Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Mr Shaw you are just annoyed because you are losing your hair. Every morning as another swatch of fur goes down the shower drain, you realize that your wasted life is slowly but surely slipping away, and you have accomplished nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Mr Shaw you are just annoyed because you are losing your hair. Every morning as another swatch of fur goes down the shower drain, you realize that your wasted life is slowly but surely slipping away, and you have accomplished nothing. HAH! Again you are given the lie by your own words sir ... I took a shower and that, considering that I work out of my home, IS an accomplishment. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Your wife lets you use the facilities in your home? A truly brave woman, my compliments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Can't we all just get along? I appreciate this USMC unit's take on that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 I don't know what I can do to assure you that I haven't been punching buttons in my Secret Headquarters, sending out the message to 'Destroy Abbott'! [Pacing the ground in a profoundly robotic manner while gang swarming in a very singular way...] YESSSS, MAAAAASTER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 21, 2008 Author Share Posted August 21, 2008 gang swarming Explanation, please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Well, as you know, Boo because we were both there at the rapidly convened meeting of General Nuissance Office; Minneapolis Event (G.N.O.M.E.) that right at the top of the agenda, in red, boxed and highlighted with not just HIS signature but the official Toadstood Stamp of Authority with Prejudice was the first order of Business Arbut-noid, Idjit and Extreme Twit - The Final Solution - Pillockfication .. and, as you know, we ALL voted (after the usual rituals et al) for gang swarming. We even had a slide presentation and despite the many concerns and votes in favour of visiting Reno for further information we all popped on our hoods and postrated before THE RING and pledged eternal gang swarming in extremis. Yes, okay, we might not have the proper undergarments for a really good gang swarm but we should show willing after all, the GRANDMASTER would gain such glee and pleasure who could refuse? Not us, certainly... so I should whip out yer ARBUTNOID information leaflet and follow the instructions for... errr... you know.. PUMP CONTINGENCIES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Explanation, please? Oh please, let's not. I find it's better just to pretend that I understand what he's getting at without going through the bothersome details of trying to understand his explanation of something that was, itself, unexplainable. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 21, 2008 Author Share Posted August 21, 2008 Oh please, let's not. I find it's better just to pretend that I understand what he's getting at without going through the bothersome details of trying to understand his explanation of something that was, itself, unexplainable. Joe sigh... I just had to ask, didn't I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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