Seanachai Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 It's always a bitch, coming up with the New Thread. For example, my first choice tonight was: The Peng Challenge Thread Named a Teddy Bear After Your Prophet, and Then Pissed on Him Mind, I named Jesus, Moses, Mohammed, Joseph Smith and L. Ron Hubbard in the opening rules. But I thought, given the Season, it might not be quite 'on'. So, I'm going with the current title. Because, when you get right down to it, we've hated everyone. And everyone we've ever hated, is still right there with us. As alive, stupid, annoying, pointless and not worth a ****e as they ever were. You've come in, and you shouldn't have. You're ****e. I've pissed a better, stronger and more pleasant stream than anything you're likely to come up with in your posts here. I don't like you. I've made better balloon animals. And I can't make balloon animals for ****e. You're only as welcome here as you can make yourself. Post things big, broad, memorable and worthy. Otherwise, Bugger Off. There are Three Olde Ones: Myself, Berli, and MrPeng. What we want from you is memorable posts, interesting thoughts, creativity and wonder. Amuse us. There is the Justicar. He wants you to post a challenge, observe certain regulations, notice the signs on the walls, and puzzle through the Peng Challenge Manual of Badges and Ranks. It's like the Boy Scouts, but without any application to surviving in the wilderness, except that you can really piss off a variety of smaller predators. And there's the main gang, the old hands, who are, without question, the dimmest gang of bipeds who've ever knelt in their own vomit while attempting a jolly singsong. And there's the Ladies of the 'Pool, of course. Treat them with respect. We're the only thread that consistently has women posting. Gives the place some class. For the rest of it, you're almost, without question, too goddamn stupid to actually understand the whole point of this place. Do your best. Christ, I need a drink... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 After linking the old Thread to the new Thread, you've gotta bump it, somehow, or the halfwits will continue to piss in the same place... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Seanachai: After linking the old Thread to the new Thread, you've gotta bump it, somehow, or the halfwits will continue to piss in the same place... Pretty safe bet in any case actually. One of your better efforts lad, at least some semblance of the rules though you didn't mention that we do require an email address and a general location in the profile of the SSNs. But a better effort. I owe Berli a turn ... I should feel worse about that than I do but then Monday is likely to suck anyway and I doubt he can make it much worse. Joe 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 (Chorus) 12 pack of bud 11 wrestlin' tickets Tin a' copenhagen 9 years probation 8 table dancers 7 packs of redman 6 cans of spam 5 flannel shirts 4 big mud tires 3 shot gun shells 2 huntin dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Monday is likely to suck Good. Hope you die. Merry Christmas! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 And now, a bit of a singsong for Dalem... You are a fluke of the universe You have no right to be here Deteriorata, Deteriorata Go placidly amidst the noise and waste, and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep Rotate your tires Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself; and heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys Know what to kiss - and when Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three - do Wherever possible, put people on hold Be comforted, that in the face of all irridity and disillusionment, and despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance You are a fluke of the universe You have no right to be here Whether you can hear it or not, The universe is laughing behind your back Remember the Pueblo Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate Know yourself If you need help, call the FBI Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest to you... That lemon on your left, for instance Be assured that a walk through the seas of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face Gracefully surrender the things of youth: the birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan - and let not the sands of time get in your lunch Hire people with hooks For a good time, call 606-4311. Ask for Ken Take heart in the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee You are a fluke of the universe You have no right to be here Whether you can hear it or not, The universe is laughing behind your back Therefore, make peace with your god, whatever you perceive him to be: hairy thunderer or cosmic muffin With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate GIVE UP! You are a fluke of the universe You have no right to be here Whether you can hear it or not, The universe is laughing behind your back 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 Hey, Abbott, you know what? They have the same hummingbird feeder in that photo that my Mom has up north at our cabin on Lake of the Woods. Go figure. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: One of your better efforts lad, at least some semblance of the rules though you didn't mention that we do require an email address and a general location in the profile of the SSNs. Joe Why would I put that stuff in? The nuts and bolts are your job, Justicar. I want... I want wonder. I WANT DUELS ON BATTLEMENTS! I WANT KNIGHTS TILTING AT WINDMILLS! I WANT SHOWERS OF SHOOTING STARS, COMETS FORETELLING DOOM, AND SIGNS IN THE HEAVENS! I want rat-assed bastards like Meeks off their meds, quipping bad impersonations of Shakespeare. I want Bauhaus to sit down. I want Peng to piss on fools from a considerable height. I want to see the northern lights, in print, every night. Showers of Glory, Josephus. Wonder. Step right up, step right up! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 Oh, well. Tonight I don't imagine I'm going to get much of anything. Everyone's asleep, and the Aussies are probably too sodding drunk to post. For myself, this is the first night in a week that I've been well enough to post much. I even missed Thanksgiving this year, as the day before the Holiday I came down with a cold/flu/respiratory nightmare that hammered me right into the ground. The nicest thing that's happened to me was a phone call on Monday night, after I'd talked with my friend Jen (the Mom of Small Emma). About two hours after I talked with her about how I'd been dying, but was trying to get better, I got a phone call. I answered it, in my gasping, hoarse voice: Hello? And there was a moment of silence, and I was about to hang up, thinking that the pause was the usual one before the recorded voice came on telling me: 'Hello, please listen carefully. Your vehicle warranty is about to expire...' or 'Hi, this is X from cardholder services. There's nothing wrong with your current credit card accounts, but...' or 'Our records indicate that you qualify for an astounding mortgage opportunity...' Instead, I heard a very small, pleasant voice say: "Hello, Grandma Steve!' And I smiled. And said: 'Hello, Emma Sine!' And she told me: 'I have a message for you. I love you, and I like to play with you, and I like it when you tell me stories, and I like it when you come over to talk to Mommy'. And I thanked her, and told her that I loved her, and then she told me (clearly listening to some prompting from off camera), 'And I want you to feel better'. And then she told me goodbye, and she put down the phone. Her Mom came on, then, of course, and I told her 'Wow, that was cool. It was like she'd memorized what you told her to say and gave it back to me without any hesitation, except there at the end.' And my friend Jen told me: "Nope, I didn't tell her any of that. When I picked her up from Day Care, she asked if you were going to come over tonight. And I told her you weren't, because you were not feeling well. And she told me all the things she liked about you. So, when I told her I was going to call you, she said she wanted to tell you some things. And what she told you were her thoughts. The only thing I had to remind her was to tell you to get better." So I got that going for me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Seanachai: I WANT DUELS ON BATTLEMENTS! I WANT KNIGHTS TILTING AT WINDMILLS! I WANT SHOWERS OF SHOOTING STARS, COMETS FORETELLING DOOM, AND SIGNS IN THE HEAVENS!You're an idiot. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 That was a cute Emma story. Get well Gnomey. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Seanachai: Hey, Abbott, you know what? They have the same hummingbird feeder in that photo that my Mom has up north at our cabin on Lake of the Woods. Go figure. I think a really inventive mind would have mounted a suet feeder inside the display. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Seanachai: the Aussies are probably too sodding drunk to post. as it happens there is a party starting at my place in about an hour.....and none of you are invited. especially not Noba. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Good morning Ladies and Germans. All I want for Christmas is for a couple of turns to show up in my inbox.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtweasle Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Seanachai: Post things big, broad, memorable and worthy.... Yet the thread goes on. How odd. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Wife was shopping on-line for the little one last night. He came in, and inquired as to what mommy was doing. She replied that she was making a list for Santa Claus, so he knew what to bring. She then asked if he knew who Santa was. His reply? "Yes, he's the King of the Mall!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Stuka: as it happens there is a party starting at my place in about an hour.....and none of you are invited.I wouldn't come to a party at your place anyway. Unless I was heavily armed. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Patch: That was a cute Emma story.Oh god, don't encourage him. He's bad enough already. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Dirtweasle: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: Post things big, broad, memorable and worthy.... Yet the thread goes on. How odd. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by rleete: Wife-swapping on-line...Buffalo a swinging town, is it? Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Stuka: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: the Aussies are probably too sodding drunk to post. as it happens there is a party starting at my place in about an hour.....and none of you are invited. especially not Noba. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Stuka: as it happens there is a party starting at my place in about an hour.....and none of you are invited. especially not Noba. Party at my place starting tomorrow night. Was going to invite you to come on over and eat, drink, and sit in the hot tub with babes, but since you're going to be all snooty like this, guess I'll ask Noba instead. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by Lars: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Stuka: as it happens there is a party starting at my place in about an hour.....and none of you are invited. especially not Noba. Party at my place starting tomorrow night. Was going to invite you to come on over and eat, drink, and sit in the hot tub with babes, but since you're going to be all snooty like this, guess I'll ask Noba instead. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Ruddy Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Hey cesspoolers! It's been a while, but not long enough... Have a good December and try not to sleep with too many relatives, ok? Cheers Jim 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Originally posted by J Ruddy: Hey cesspoolers! It's been a while, but not long enough... Have a good December and try not to sleep with too many relatives, ok? Cheers Jim Nice to see you sniffing around Jim. How are things waaay waaay up north? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.