Boo Radley Posted April 1, 2008 Author Share Posted April 1, 2008 Originally posted by MrPeng: Do any of you give an airborne intercourse that I am once again in the gawd forsaken prairie again? for the 6th week in a row? Oh, yes. We all find it quite amusing. We're hoping you decide to take up square dancing while you're out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Eh, I grow old, I grow old. Of course, I'm simply growing older. You fecks tend to grow old. But you are my little lads, and lasses, and I will not forsake you. It was a GOOD night at Dalem's. Lars was there, and full of piss and vinegar. I can't remember the last time I saw Lars that animated. Normally, he just grins a lot, raises his beer now and then, and grins some more. Makes you want to find something with which to cave in his head. That disturbing, 'Gary Shandling' smiling inoffensiveness. He's as cuddly as a good hunting dog, but you still want to put a load of #6 shot into his arse, just to show him that you're paying attention. He's smarter than his apparent stupidity would seem to indicate. Best shoot him in the arse now, just to make sure he doesn't get above himself. Papa Khann, who is seriously focused on winning was doing a good job of being himself. Kudos. Papa Khann is not like you and me. He's fair. He's focused. He doesn't take losing to heart. He's all about the goddamn game. And he intends to win. He usually does. Makes you hate him, just a bit. But when he loses, he takes that in stride, too. Winning isn't even something he wants to gloat about. It's just the only destination he acknowledges. To match yourself against him is like playing 'Deep Blue'. Except 'Deep Blue' probably doesn't try to get laid as much. When he came over to my house last Fall to go to the Renaissance Festival with me and Dalem, he was hitting on my landlord's wife, simply because she was wondering why we were sitting in the front lawn looking like drunk marmots. In his defense, it wasn't Papa Khann who looked like a drunk marmot. Dalem...what can I say about the lad? He had to play the Spanish in a game of the Peninsular Campaign against Napolean. It became clear mid-way through the first turn that he was completely...fecked. So, rather than concentrate on the game, he spent the next couple of hours getting drunk. Given the circumstances, it was probably a good decision. The only ETERNALLY annoying thing about Dalem, and believe me, I've been there enough, long enough, and equally annoying enough to opine about it is this: When the fecker gets drunk, he keeps saying...he keeps saying...he keeps saying, over and over again...he keeps claiming...he keeps telling everyone...he tells everyone...he tells everyone... That he isn't actually drunk. Or that he's not all that drunk. Or that he's not as drunk as he'd like to be. Ahem... I would like to offer this bit of observation, to our own fine Dalem. SHUT UP! WHEN I TELL YOU YOU'RE DRUNK, YOU STUPID ****ER, YOU'RE DRUNK! I'VE BEEN DRUNK FOR YEARS! DO YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW DRUNKENNESS WHEN I SEE IT, YOU STUPID BASTARD?! THE NEXT TIME YOU FALL OVER A GODDAMN CHAIR AND TELL ME 'I'M NOT AS DRUNK AS I'D LIKE TO BE', I'M GOING TO STAB YOU THROUGH THE LUNGS WITH ONE OF YOUR OWN SWORDS, AND LET YOU DROWN IN YOUR OWN BLOOD, YOU DRUNK BASTARD! Dalem is one of my best friends. It is going to pain me immensely the next time I'm over there, and I'm drunk, and he's drunk, and I have to kill him for being a stupid drunk bastard. Five bucks from my mother's handbag four thirteen from Margaret Kathy stole some cigarettes Now empty out your pockets Three more dollars buys a mickey Plus John Paul's commission Everybody calls him 'Pope' He pretends he's laughing with them Meet you at the Pits As soon as I hear snoring I can crawl outside through my bedroom window If the dog, doesn't bark Meet you in the moonlight Leave the ghetto blaster quiet Let's just listen to the crickets And the heartbeat of the dark John Paul's got deliveries Our saviour since he turned eighteen And Perry's always first to turn green Weaves into the maple trees Drops down upon his knees And someone yells 'nice being you, again' Campfire fueled by some old fence The sky's like planetariums And I'm too shy to kiss your neck So I kick dirt at Curtis Stomach burns and landscapes spin And there's no washing off this grin As our hands brush between the scenes And hold a secret service Meet you at the Pits As soon as I hear snoring I can crawl outside through my bedroom window If the dog, doesn't bark Meet you in the moonlight Leave the ghetto blaster quiet Let's just listen to the crickets And the heartbeat of the dark Dalem and I are flamingoes. He's a stupid, barely mentally competent Neo-Con, who will, within a few months, revert to being simply a 'Conservative', when some new political situation allows him to abandon the useless, embarrassing political position he's defended for the last few years like Leonidas at Thermopylae. We're buddies, though. Stupid feck. Bros before Politicos. We're presented with a selection of 'Possible Masters' none of whom I'd cross the street to piss on if they were on fire. And people like me and Dalem, we get in each other's faces debating the wisdom of whores who don't have any wisdom, and don't care about the fact that me and Dalem exist. The funny thing is, when I was a young man, I was a Liberal, and I listened to the stirring speeches of people who sought to rouse me up to 'Make America Great Again'. And I never bought into all that rhetoric. I still don't. And Dalem knows that. I'm old, now, and evil...amazingly evil, and I don't trust in anything. But the thing is, us Liberal/Lunatic Fringe types are supposed to be the first to embrace every empty promise, every stupidity, every snake-oil salesman. And that's all he's done for the last 7 years. He's sucked down the kool-aid of WMDs, Irag connection with Terrorism, and 'Democracy Will Set Them All Free'. And despite no support for ANY OF THIS, he still wants to make out like he's the smart one. He's Denny Crane. I'm Alan Shore. We're flamingoes, together. I guess I shouldn't expect him to ever, sometime, however briefly, JUST FOR ONE ****ING MOMENT IN HISTORY Acknowledge that I got some stuff right. And he didn't know all the answers. My uncertainty didn't kill anyone. His certainty killed untold thousands. So, Dalem, the next time you're drunk, and you're pissing in my face about the Democrats I've got to work with, as someone who won't vote for the Republicans who put us into this place in History, I want you to Shut the **** Up. I'd say more, but it might be...unseemly. 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Stuka Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Soooooo....how 'bout them [insert mindless sport's team name here] eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Originally posted by rleete: Bard, I know you read my post on that other forum. The one about the big C. You, of all people should relate. I expected sincere empathy, an outpouring of heartfelt sympathy.I know the other Forum. I do not know the thread. I figure 'big C' is cancer. I have lived this ****e for more years than I've been drunk. Instead of tasking me, and assuming I know what the hell is going on, why not just send me a link, and precis? Sympathy? I'm the ****ing God of Sympathy, at this point. But I'm about to deal with the fact that my Step-Dad, who's never liked me, is about to die of liver cancer. Why do you think I have any idea what's going on in the Universe? I'm scrambling for a living, and not making a very good job of it. I spend a lot of time being pissed off. I'd love to offer a heartfelt 'Yeah, brother' to someone. Instead of sending me cryptic 'PM Messages' from the other thread, why don't you just email me up front, and tell me what's going on? Jesus to Jesus, and eight hands around, Roger. Don't send me off to search for why I should be concerned about someone. Tell me. I hate ****ing humanity. But I love people. Do I have to dance like a fool to care about you and yours? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Originally posted by Stuka: Soooooo....how 'bout them [insert mindless sport's team name here] eh? Be quiet. This isn't about you. Although....your hair looks quite fetching, when you do it like that. You Aussie bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Am I the only one here who thinks that the whole business of using your toe to pull the trigger of the shotgun lacks dignity? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 I'll shoot you for free, I'll even wear a suit for added dignity points if you prefer... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Originally posted by Stuka: I'll shoot you for free, I'll even wear a suit for added dignity points if you prefer... The day I let a bastard like you shoot me is the day I wave a pint at the masses and smile. Points to you for being in there and pissing about, Stuka. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Stuka: I'll shoot you for free, I'll even wear a suit for added dignity points if you prefer... The day I let a bastard like you shoot me is the day I wave a pint at the masses and smile. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Now for some news that has nothing to do with Minnesota: Boo launches his doomed allied cybermen into the teeth of the West Wall. The carnage is complete as screaming soldiers are shredded by MG-42 pillboxes. I am winning this one. Leeo on the other hand....is also facing the teeth (do you sense a pattern here) of my defenses as his armored columns come under fire from neatly concealed AT positions. I am winning this one. stikkypixie and I are embroiled in a CMSF red vs red encounter where my obsolete Soviet weapons systems are disolving his obsolete Soviet weapons systems. I am winning this one. Noba in his own loveable "down under" style, thinks he has the upper hand in a Dorosh-conceived nightmare scenario. Boy is he in for a surprise. I am winning this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Originally posted by Seanachai: Am I the only one here who thinks that the whole business of using your toe to pull the trigger of the shotgun lacks dignity? Well yeah. Proves you were such an utter shower in life that you couldn't even find a forked stick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 I would post the lyrics of "Signed DC" but I don't think they would work without the music. So if you have the CD, put it on and listen to it. Listen to it maybe two or three times. Listen to it until you wake up in the night hearing it in your mind. And know that somewhere, somehow, you too are DC. That is all. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 Originally posted by Lars: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: Am I the only one here who thinks that the whole business of using your toe to pull the trigger of the shotgun lacks dignity? Well yeah. Proves you were such an utter shower in life that you couldn't even find a forked stick. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 PENG! You ferret fondling fancy fellow! You had better not be bailing on me just as I'm about to reduce your pathetic armor to decorative doorstops! YOU HEAR ME, PENG??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugged Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leeo: You need to get out more. If you want something interesting to do while out on the town, challenge Bugged to an Indian Leg Wrestle. I did. However there's no Indians in Australia (well no North American types) so yours truly took her on. 3 times.... and got done each time....(that's Aussie for 'I lost') I'm impressed, not only is she good looking enough but she leg wrestles. Now if she can open beer bottles with her belly button I'd be really, really impressed. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polite Poster Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 Hey Gang! Not to be a stickler for details but the title of this thread says that it wants you to go away. That would appear to mean that no one is welcome in this particular thread of what I will generously describe as finite wit. Nothing to see here gang! Move along now.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted April 3, 2008 Author Share Posted April 3, 2008 Originally posted by Bugged: He's trying his hand at *cough* "flattery" as a way to make up for telling me that I only won because I have a weight advantage over him. Grr....! Oooooooh..... And how many direct kicks to the fork were you able to administer before he crumpled up and blew away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted April 3, 2008 Author Share Posted April 3, 2008 Originally posted by Polite Poster: Hey Gang! Oh, look! The new Gaylord Mark XVIII is in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 Meet the new troll, same as the old troll... [with apologies to The Who] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polite Poster Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 With apologies to who? Sounds kind of like a song, anyone here like the Beatles? Have you seen the little piggies Crawling in the dirt And for all the little piggies Life is getting worse Always having dirt to play around in. Have you seen the bigger piggies In their starched white shirts You will find the bigger piggies Stirring up the dirt Always have clean shirts to play around in. In their sties with all their backing They don't care what goes on around In their eyes there's something lacking What they need's a damn good whacking. Everywhere there's lots of piggies Living piggy lives You can see them out for dinner With their piggy wives Clutching forks and knives to eat their bacon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoolaman Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Originally posted by Lars: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: Am I the only one here who thinks that the whole business of using your toe to pull the trigger of the shotgun lacks dignity? Well yeah. Proves you were such an utter shower in life that you couldn't even find a forked stick. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Originally posted by Bugged: He's trying his hand at *cough* "flattery" as a way to make up for telling me that I only won because I have a weight advantage over him. Grr....!Well after all, he is the ninety-pound weakling who was the model for all those ads in the back of comic books, you know. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Originally posted by Boo Radley: PENG! You ferret fondling fancy fellow! You had better not be bailing on me just as I'm about to reduce your pathetic armor to decorative doorstops! YOU HEAR ME, PENG??? You must not be getting my emails. WTF? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Yeah, I am the "look how drunk I am!" kind of drunk, that's fer sure. But still, the Spanish. Again. Y'all'd've gotten hammered too. Still and all, a very relaxing and desperately needed night for me. Plus I got to see Seanachai sternly mad at me. Plus I got to make people watch Star Trek V without really remembering much of it myself. Plus I wasn't even hung over the next day, although how I managed that one I'll never know. Probably best that I don't, else I'll pass out in my fireside chair, cigar firmly clamped between my teeth every Saturday night, and that way lies liver disease and the RedNose. Can't have that, now can we? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 Originally posted by MrPeng: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley: PENG! You ferret fondling fancy fellow! You had better not be bailing on me just as I'm about to reduce your pathetic armor to decorative doorstops! YOU HEAR ME, PENG??? You must not be getting my emails. WTF? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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