The Peng Challenge: Now, With Retsyn!

[Yeknodathon]

Ah the weekend… what simple pleasure.

Nothing to do, but to try me new battery powered Remington hygenic clipper to trim ears, nostril and other unwanted hairs. My, it's been fun. Having plunged me nostrils down onto the device and wiggled it around and heard the change in clipper tone as me mechanical cutters got to swathe through the tufts of massed nasal shrubery built over the decades I have to admit: damn fine piece of equipment.

There was one particularly curly little critter that had to be rooted out with repeated probes and mechanical hacking... its name is a secret...

[looks with a swift side glance towards something small and rubbery hidden behind an unusually thriving bush]

[ October 29, 2005, 09:58 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[Patchy]

Don't forget to trim your tail and around your hooves too.

[Patchy]

I would suggest your privates too....but you don't have any to shave!

Muahahahahahahaha!

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Ah! A Challenge. Blood Hamster, then.

Yes, I think that is appropriate, you large, shuffling, inept descendant of Caliban.

I have previously noted the braggadocio that normally accompanies your issuance of a Challenge that causes one as large, foolish and bereft of all higher brain functions as yourself to caper about, face wrinkled with concentration and concern, attempting to restrain the normal grunting that normally accompanies your efforts to interact with your intellectual and genetic superiours, such as myself.

If you win, you may keep your rather sad and shabby attempt at self-justification as embodied by your current sig line.

It pleases me that my approval of you, however inadvertent, qualified and shallow it may be, absorbs you so completely.

Although I can't fault you on it. Having me give you the nod elevates you to the level of a sentient creature. And I imagine that that's all you've ever asked for from Life.

I'll raise the ante, simply because I like you, oh Boo. If you win, you may amend your sig line to give yourself even more credit.

Of course, should I win, your sig line will very likely be something like "I clawed my way to sentience simply so that I could be Seanachai's pony", or some such.

Not so fast Mary Poppins.

If you win you get to change my sig line, but if I win I get to keep my sig line?

My, and aren't you blindingly white?

And here I thought you didn't have a sense of humor.

Why don't we have an actual Blood Hamster Match. A match where if you win, you get to own my sig for a month, yet if I win, I get to own YOUR sig for a month.

Still game, Mammy Yokum?

Bleat once for yes and twice for no.

(My only other option is to come out to Manyappleless and teach you a thing or three about manners. You'll recognize me because I'll be the one beating you in the shins with a spade.)

[Mace]

Originally posted by Patchy:

I would suggest your privates too....but you don't have any to shave!

*puts cup of tea down, ponders then responds*

No Privates?

Did he flitter them away during the the first battle of Ypres in WW1?

That's rather unfortunate, that.

*returns to his cup of tea*

[v42below]

Originally posted by juan_gigante:

Wait a second. Perhaps I need to bone up on my MBT rules and regulations, but if I recall correctly, serfs serve the Cesspool as a whole - not individual knights of it. It is only after one becomes a squire that one becomes the vassal of a particular knight. So Sir Sir 37mm, it is wrong for you to assert that I was stolen from you by Sir v42below, because even though he requested my serfdom, I still serve the MBT as a whole. We'd need the Justicar to confirm my suspicions, or the Auxilary Blah Blah Blah Replacement Justicar Boo, but I believe that I am correct.

I have right of first refusal on you lad, and you do not want to upset me by implying you'd prefer to be someone else's Squire, now do you? Otherwise I just might get my manservant Bubba to exercise prime nochte on my behalf.

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Patchy:

I would suggest your privates too....but you don't have any to shave!

*puts cup of tea down, ponders then responds*

No Privates?

Did he flitter them away during the the first battle of Ypres in WW1?

That's rather unfortunate, that.

*returns to his cup of tea* </font>

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Mace:

*returns to his cup of tea*

Mace drinking tea? You mean, real tea, and not tea-colored beer or something?

Run! It's the end times!

Michael

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by juan_gigante:

Wait a second. Perhaps I need to bone up on my MBT rules and regulations, but if I recall correctly, serfs serve the Cesspool as a whole - not individual knights of it. It is only after one becomes a squire that one becomes the vassal of a particular knight.

You are correct... which just proves the 1000 monkey theory </font>

[Mace]

Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

You mean, real tea, and not tea-colored beer or something?

yeh. Lan-choo brewed from the pot.

Run! It's the end times!

Not until I finish this cuppa, it's not!

[Mace]

and for your edumucation:

Tea and Australian Culture

Tea arrived in Australia with the First Fleet in 1788. By 1820 tea was the drink of choice—not reserved for the drawing rooms of the privileged but enjoyed by all Australians. In early colonial times, the four imported staples were tea, sugar, wheat and flour—so everyone from servants to officers to convicts—were able to sip on their favourite brew.

Early folklore speaks of swagmen roaming the countryside and sharing yarns over cuppas beside remote campfires, and of cherished tea rations during colonial times. Swagmen and soldiers used to carry the leaves in their kit and the sundowner was rarely without his billy as he traipsed well-trodden outback routes.

Each day he’d walk about 20km—lugging his bluey, with bags of tea, sugar and supplies often strung from his waist. Unlike the swagman who would work for his keep, the sundowner would arrive at station homesteads at dusk, hoping that the late hour would relieve him of the obligation of work but grant him some free rations.

Throughout Australia’s history, tea has continued to be a drink for men and women of all classes and regions. It has inspired much art, poetry and song and features in Australia’s un-official national anthem, Banjo Paterson’s "Waltzing Matilda" as well as Victorian poet Keighley Goodchild’s 1883 ballad "While the Billy Boils".

[dalem]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

SOMEBODY doesn't like me very much.

There was a meeting. Your name came up.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Mace:

and for your edumucation:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Tea and Australian Culture

Tea arrived in Australia with the First Fleet in 1788. By 1820 tea was the drink of choice—not reserved for the drawing rooms of the privileged but enjoyed by all Australians. In early colonial times, the four imported staples were tea, sugar, wheat and flour—so everyone from servants to officers to convicts—were able to sip on their favourite brew.

Early folklore speaks of swagmen roaming the countryside and sharing yarns over cuppas beside remote campfires, and of cherished tea rations during colonial times. Swagmen and soldiers used to carry the leaves in their kit and the sundowner was rarely without his billy as he traipsed well-trodden outback routes.

Each day he’d walk about 20km—lugging his bluey, with bags of tea, sugar and supplies often strung from his waist. Unlike the swagman who would work for his keep, the sundowner would arrive at station homesteads at dusk, hoping that the late hour would relieve him of the obligation of work but grant him some free rations.

Throughout Australia’s history, tea has continued to be a drink for men and women of all classes and regions. It has inspired much art, poetry and song and features in Australia’s un-official national anthem, Banjo Paterson’s "Waltzing Matilda" as well as Victorian poet Keighley Goodchild’s 1883 ballad "While the Billy Boils".

</font>

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by dalem:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

SOMEBODY doesn't like me very much.

There was a meeting. Your name came up. </font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

SOMEBODY doesn't like me very much.

There was a meeting. Your name came up. </font>

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

SOMEBODY doesn't like me very much.

Well...to tell the truth...none of us do.

But there's still hope: maybe your plane will crash.

Michael

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Mace:

Early folklore speaks of swagmen roaming the countryside and sharing yarns over cuppas beside remote campfires, and of cherished tea rations during colonial times. Swagmen and soldiers used to carry the leaves in their kit and the sundowner was rarely without his billy as he traipsed well-trodden outback routes.

Each day he’d walk about 20km—lugging his bluey, with bags of tea, sugar and supplies often strung from his waist. Unlike the swagman who would work for his keep, the sundowner would arrive at station homesteads at dusk, hoping that the late hour would relieve him of the obligation of work but grant him some free rations.

Arthur Upfield, in at least one of his stories, has his hero in the outback boiling the billy. As described, he brings a quart or two of water to a boil over an open fire, then tosses in a handful (a handful, mind you) of tea leaves, allowing the water to continue to boil (OMG :eek: ) for about half a minute before removing it from the fire and letting it steep for several more minutes before pouring off the first cup. Man, that's tea that will put hair on your chest. If the swagmen were drinking that stuff, no wonder the Krauts were in terror of them.

Michael

[dalem]

Why? Why not?

I'm An Asshole - Dennis Leary

Folks

I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream

About me

About you

About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests

About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts

Or maybe below the cockles

Maybe in the sub-cockle area

Maybe in the liver

Maybe in the kidneys

Maybe even in the colon

We don't know

I'm just a regular joe

With a regular job

I'm your average white

Suburbanite slob

I like football, and porno, and books about war

I've got an average house

With a nice hardwood floor

My wife, and my job

My kids, and my car

My feet on the table

And a Cuban cigar

But sometimes that just ain't enough

To keep a man like me interested

Oh no, no way, uh uhh

No, I gotta go out and have fun

At someone else's expense

Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow

In the ultra-fast lane

While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole

(he's an asshole, what an asshole)

I'm an asshole

(he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets

And I piss on the seat

I walk around in the summer time sayin', "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole

(he's an asshole, what an asshole)

I'm an asshole

(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces

While handicapped people

Make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole

(he's an asshole, what an asshole)

I'm an asshole

(he's a big ****ing asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song

Ranting and raving and carrying on

Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...

...

NAAAHHHHH!

I'm an asshole

(he's an asshole, what an asshole)

I'm an asshole

(he's the world's biggest asshole)

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadilac El Dorado Convertable

Hot pink!

With whale skin hub caps

An all leather cow interior

And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights

YEAH!

And I'm gonna drive around in that baby

At 115 miles per hour

Getting one mile per gallon

Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers

And when I'm done sucking down those grease-ball burgers

I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag

And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side

And there ain't a Goddamn thing anybody can do about it

You know why?

'Cause we got the bombs, that's why!

Two words: Nuclear ****in' Weapons

Okay!?

Russia, Germany, Romania

They can have all the Democracy they want

They can have a big Democracy cake walk

Right through the middle of Tienemen Square

And it won't make a lick of difference

Because we got the bombs

Okay!?

John Wayne's not dead

He's frozen!

And as soon as we find a cure for cancer We're gonna thaw out "The Duke"

And he's gonna be pretty pissed off

You know why?

Have you ever taken a cold shower?

Well, multiply that by 15 million times

That's how pissed off "The Duke"'s gonna be

I'm gonna get "The Duke"

And John Cassavetes

And Lee Marvin

And Sam Peckinpah

And a case of whiskey

And drive down to Texas

And-

(Hey, Hey! You know you really are an asshole)

Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song, pal?

You know, the whole time I thought I was that asshole

And it turns out it was him

What an asshole!

I'm an asshole

(he's an asshole, what an asshole)

I'm an asshole

(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

A - SS - HO - LE!

Everybody!!

A - SS - HO - LE!

*dog barking noises*

I'm an asshole and proud of it!

[juan_gigante]

That might well be the only time in my life that I will see "OMG :eek: " used in reference to a tea preparation method.

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by juan_gigante:

That might well be the only time in my life that I will see "OMG :eek: " used in reference to a tea preparation method.

I hope you were properly grateful. You may kneel and bow seven times in my direction and you will enjoy good fortune and blessings for the rest of the year.

Michael

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by juan_gigante:

That might well be the only time in my life that I will see "OMG :eek: " used in reference to a tea preparation method.

I hope you were properly grateful. You may kneel and bow seven times in my direction and you will enjoy good fortune and blessings for the rest of the year.

Michael </font>

[Boo Radley]

So, in the various and sundry games I have going right now, I am once again showing my masterful grasp of battlefield tactics.

Seanachai: His jack-booted thugs may have wrested one flag from me, but that's all he's going to get. (Little does he know... actually that sentence could stand just as it is... he's already LOST the battle!)

He wants to start a Blood Hamster match against me, but what with his turn rate, I believe we'll be into the next ice age before I see a set-up.

Peng: Also wants a Blood Hamster fight, but I believe he's been distracted by some shiny bottle caps out on the street and I'll probably never see the set-up for that, either.

Sir Sir 37mm: In our CMBB battle, my Russian horde is quickly killing off his aged and decrepid home guard. Hey, he picked the forces, not me.

In our CMAK fight, he's got a bajillion Churchills that are soon to become rusting hulks in the face of my withering fire. So much fun!

Nidan: My superior numbers and surgical artillery strikes are whittling away his entrenched Nazi scum. As well they should!

Noba: I hate bocage. And there's so much of it that it's taxing my poor Coleco computer. But I shall still win because my heart is pure and he's some Aussie hooligan who likes to participate in scrums because he likes to be hugged by big brawny men (Not that there's anything wrong with that).

OGSF: He hasn't sent a turn in so long that I don't even remember what it is we're doing. Let me open up a file and check... talk amongst yourselves...

Right. It's gotten so bad that entire squads of his Engineers are surrendering to my Panzers! Imagine the embarrassment!

Lars: We're doing this scenario called "Chalnes", I believe, and he's throwing everything except the kitchen sink at me. I can only surmise that he hasn't thrown that because he's a simple lad who hasn't yet enjoyed the benefits of indoor plumbing. And for some reason, he thinks I have some secret weapons hidden away just off the edge of the map, because he keeps shelling over there... odd.

Moriarty: He actually had the gall to send me a scenario concocted by Berli, that consists of 87 square miles of large buildings and my forces include 193 jeeps and the St. Swithins Parochial School Kazzoo Band (Grades 1 through 4).

It sucks.

That's about it, I believe. If I've forgoten anybody, it's because you haven't sent me a turn in quite awhile and so you're off my daily radar.

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by juan_gigante:

That might well be the only time in my life that I will see "OMG :eek: " used in reference to a tea preparation method.

I hope you were properly grateful. You may kneel and bow seven times in my direction and you will enjoy good fortune and blessings for the rest of the year.

Michael </font>

[Abbott]

Originally posted by dalem:

Why? Why not?

sniff...that was just beautiful. Would wouldn’t like Da bomb?

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Abbott:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

Why? Why not?

Would wouldn’t like Da bomb? </font>