Maverik Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 The European Commission has just announced an agreement where by English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-english". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and key boards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janbo Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 hahahahahah, that's the most hilarious thing i've read in a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon_j_rambo Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 I'm happy you guys are getting with zee program. Next, get rid of that confusing metric system. Also, use the Dollar too. If you're reading this thank a teacher. If you're reading this in English, thank the U.S. Military. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Spinello Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 ROFL!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Spinello Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 The metric system is only confusing if you are used to another one ... and it IS superior: inch, foot, miles, gallons etc would make for quite a mess in science, so even US scientists use the metric system. The Dollar bills should actually be revamped some time soon - compared to the new Euros they can be forged much too easily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cary Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Nice. A far better plan than Schlieffen's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retributar Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Im with you Major Spinello ...the Metric System Blow's the Imperial Measurement's system out of the water!,...it's divisible by a common denominator of '10',...THEREFORE,...NO-MIND BENDING FRACTION'S!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blashy Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 ROFL, oh god I have to send this to everyone, its hilarious! JJvR, Metric system and US system, no comparison for science applications. We would still be YEARS behind tech wise if we stuck to imperial system. NOTE: ALL US scientists use Metric. It works. Man that thing is hilarious, is that serious about the changes to the english language? It should be english IMHO, the easiest and simplest language to learn. And I'm Québécois! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon_j_rambo Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Dude, I don't know what a liter is, except a 2-Liter bottle. I have no idea what kilometer is, but I know what the 400 race is. Yards, Feet, & Miles are the only way to go. Golf is done by yards, not meters. Also, I know what a 12oz & 40oz brew is. -Legend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon_j_rambo Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 lets not forget quarts & gallons. I CAN'T stand people monkeying with the temperature. Water freezes at 32 degrees, not 0 !!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cary Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 It should be english IMHO, the easiest and simplest language to learn. And I'm Québécois!An interesting point may be that English is so quirky because it is very easy to learn -- nothing like unsystematically mixing German, French, Latin, and Gaelics together to make for some Byzantine spellings and idioms. Then take it to the New World and start the process again! One might call it a language uncorrupted by any overt schemes to improve the human condition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blashy Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Originally posted by jon_j_rambo: Dude, I don't know what a liter is, except a 2-Liter bottle. I have no idea what kilometer is, but I know what the 400 race is. Yards, Feet, & Miles are the only way to go. Golf is done by yards, not meters. Also, I know what a 12oz & 40oz brew is. -Legend I'm not surprised JJvR, most US Citizens are not too familiar with anything outside their little bubble, explains alot about how the rest of the world views USA today. Pretty sad state, going from Liberators in WW2 and loved by pretty much everyone to today. Yes I know "We're all jealous" Anyways, without metric you probably would not have programing. Metric and Match are the basis for all science, no disputing that . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisND Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Screw the imperial measurement system. Outdated and inefficient crap. The metric is way smarter, and easier to use. Did you know Jon J that our military uses the METRIC system? As for Euros, who the HECK decided to make 1's and 2's as COINS?! When I lived in Italy I grew to hate the euro because of all those stupid coins! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blashy Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Do not move to Canada, we use coins for 1s and 2s as well now... More economical so I can not complain, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 As do Australia and New Zealand. Dollars are Spanish in origin of course. Metrics are simpler without a doubt - I was raised in Imperial units, and still remember what a quart and a mile and a furlong are - even a fathom and a chain. How many "imperialists" still know what a peck is? Or a bushel, or a hogshead? But I have no trouble with kilometers and litres too. JJR America grew great because it adapted to the times and moved forward with vigor......are you saying it should now hide behind a mile high fence?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoat Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Originally posted by Stalin's Organist: JJR America grew great because it adapted to the times and moved forward with vigor......are you saying it should now hide behind a mile high fence?? We're trying to pass legislation to that effect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blashy Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Build one for Canada as well, we don't care anyways. We prefer going down south with the hospitality of the latin community (what can I say I married a hot Mexican babe ). OH and if one is built for Canada, it should also mean we cut you off our oil (Canada is USA's biggest supplier of oil), that should prove interesting :cool: Maybe they would invade us, too "liberate" the canadian people, LOL! Sorry Desert Dave, I could not help myself . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fartknock3r Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 I still don't get the joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolend Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 LOL this was way tooooo funny. Gee I hope we pick that up in the US that way my AWFULL spelling can be hidden By the way Rambo I lived in Germany for almost 4 years and used the metric system. I have to say it is a LOT better then the crappy 12 inchs in a foot, 3 feet in a yard crap we use. See the metirc system is all in tens and it is much easier to multiply or devide by 10 then say 3 or 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cary Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 Originally posted by stoat: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Stalin's Organist: JJR America grew great because it adapted to the times and moved forward with vigor......are you saying it should now hide behind a mile high fence?? We're trying to pass legislation to that effect. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisND Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 Maybe if we could control our own friggin border I wouldnt have to worry about people trying to pass legislation to give driver's licenses to illegal aliens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolend Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 Well I do believe we are in the midst of a culutral revolution. Some of us want to become isolationist again (I am in that camp) some of us want us to 'rule' the world (I think Rambo falls into that camp) and some of us want to become globalist (I think DD tends to lean this way) If you Euros are having a hard time figuring us out just think what it looks like to us from the inside Who knows how it will turn out the battle goes back and forth on a daily basis and most likly will take years if not decades to iron out PS forgive me if I have put any of you in the wrong camp and that goes for me asking myself what camp I am in, see I can't even figure which way to go so you expect outsiders to know LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cary Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 Rolend, I think you're right on this. There's a lot of media chatter on Red-state/Blue-state stuff, but I have a hunch that our political situation is a lot more complicated now: indeed it may be that the very shrillness of debate may result from the political machines being very unhappy with the uncertainty they face. Isolationism, Globalism, Internationalism is a great example of just how messy things are. Abortion, and the possible/probable reversal of Roe V. Wade is another. Suddenly "State's Rights" take on a very different meaning... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon_j_rambo Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 I'm a Legendist. Why do the Euros love David Hassellhoff so much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blashy Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 Germans love him, that is where he's a "rock star". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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