The Peng Challenge - you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy...

[Lars]

He he he, she’s got her foot in the bun…Wait a minute.

You slack jawed yokel, that is the lamest attempt at humor I’ve seen in since Stalin’s Organ.

[rleete]

Sir Seanachai , pictures have been sent to Lady Persephone , as ordered. Expect some very disquieting images on your monitor soon. It is all your own fault. Had you left me as an anonymous serf, you would not have to suffer such occular assault. Then again, it is sure to make some of the other residents lose their lunches, so it may have be worth it.

Also the bribe,...er... gift that we discussed has not yet been postmarked. The delay shall not be much longer. Ready your palette for the delightful boquet of ginger mead.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by R_Leete:

Sir Seanachai , pictures have been sent to Lady Persephone , as ordered. Expect some very disquieting images on your monitor soon. It is all your own fault. Had you left me as an anonymous serf, you would not have to suffer such occular assault. Then again, it is sure to make some of the other residents lose their lunches, so it may have be worth it.

Also the bribe,...er... gift that we discussed has not yet been postmarked. The delay shall not be much longer. Ready your palette for the delightful boquet of ginger mead.

Good lad! I know that Lady Persephone will only use her powers for Good, and not for Evil. Not that that matters much, because the results will be the same, in any case involving the idjits of this Thread, and we shall be treated to some brutilizations of your (undoubtedly) vile viseage.

It occurs to me, however, that you're such a tender, newborn lamb here on the Thread that Persephone may not have much to work with in terms of personal info.

I can remedy that, somewhat, by filling in a bit of background.

Persephone, dear Lady, the young R Leete is quite mad. Like myself, he currently seeks gainful employment after unworthy treatment by the Financial Powers That Be (the bastards). His current personal project, by which we may judge his overweening insanity, is that he is trying to build a scale model Tiger tank that he can actually sit in and drive around the neighbourhood. One can only hope that he has no plans to add working armament (except, perhaps, Nahverteidigungswaffe to keep the neighbourhood dogs respectful).

Other than that, he's just another poor fool sucked by life into the Cesspool, and doing his best to keep his chin up (as are we all).

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Fionn:

I know it is traditional to say something witty here ( or at least something you all think is witty) but:

a) you wouldn't get it,

none of you are worth the hassle.

So, in summation, I have a profound and abiding hatred of each and every one of you, believe you should ALL be vivisected ( not for any scientific reason but just because I'd enjoy it and... well... you bloody well wouldn't) AND should lose your posting rights. The sad thing is the last threat there is probably the one that frightens you all the most

Now SOD OFF!

P.s. Hiya guys. Now that the essential slagging is over and done with... good to be back and see the Pool is as corrupting and insiduous as ever . I've had fun following the various threads during the "Wilderness Years". Some of you are MOST inventive with your invective (ah, poetry)

Well I'll be damned. After more (or rather, less) sober reflection, this would, indeed, seem to be Fionn Kelly.

A special dispensation's been granted? Perhaps just to visit the finest Thread on the Forum, the Peng Challenge Thread? Or has the man rehabilitated himself? Or perhaps, all the original participants having died, and the grudge being finally buried, BTS has declared Fionn to be the recipient of the Combat Mission tontine, and as the sole survivor he's regained the right to post?

Well, in any case, you're quite welcome here, Irisher. Well, as much as anyone is welcome, which, admittedly, is not all that much.

The rest of you lot, climb off it. Stop badgering the man. If he wanted a game against pillocks, he'd have come in like any other good lad and picked someone out and taunted them proper. He knows the drill here.

Behave yourselves, or you'll get a bren tripod roight up ya'.

[edited to strip out that hideous number of smilies from Fionn's original post, which were, indeed, excessive]

[ April 16, 2002, 12:13 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by R_Leete:

Sir Seanachai , pictures have been sent to Lady Persephone , as ordered. Expect some very disquieting images on your monitor soon. It is all your own fault. Had you left me as an anonymous serf, you would not have to suffer such occular assault. Then again, it is sure to make some of the other residents lose their lunches, so it may have be worth it.

Also the bribe,...er... gift that we discussed has not yet been postmarked. The delay shall not be much longer. Ready your palette for the delightful boquet of ginger mead.

Oh, boquets and delightful ones at that. I suppose they're much better than weeds or thistles or the odd nettle but one can't be too sure in these matters. Well, if you insist, and I'm sure you do, I shall call you, D_Pleted Geranium on the account that you lack quite a lot in almost every possible way. Petal for short. Never had a geranium. Are you tasty? Worthless asking really, I think I know the answer.

Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk

[MrSpkr]

As seen in Die Frankfurter Allgemeine:

Forced Auction - Everything is priced to sell!! Pfennige on the ReichMark!

Dalem's spoiled Amerikanischer thugs recently failed to continue fighting and left the following items on the field of battle. In celebration of our <big><big>TOTAL VICTORY<small><small> we now bring them to you at a massive discount! Our insurance company has ordered us to sell these items to make room for the plunder from our next victim! All items must go!

5 Sherman Panzers - Includes 2 M4A3's, 2 M4A1's and 1 M8 Grauhund; - Used condition; suitable for scrap metal or playgrounds fur deine Kindern.

1 Panzer model M4A1 - slightly used - gunbarrel needs cleaning; interior soiled by prior occupants.

1 Panzer model M8 - some external blemishes, chipped paint. Runs great!

1 Jeep - Mint condition. Previous owner abandoned vehicle prior to reaching the battle lines.

6 MMG's - Most in working order, some ammo with sale.

3 .50 caliber HMG's - With accompanying ammunition.

9 60mm mortars - some never fired. Limited supply of ammunition available.

535 assorted small arms - includes .45 cal. Colt handguns; M1 Garand rifles; Thompson submachine guns. Many weapons in mint condition - most fired and dropped once.

All products are sold "as-is"; the seller makes no warranty as to their fitness for any particular purpose. Cash only. All sales are final.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

As seen in Die Frankfurter Allgemeine:

Forced Auction - Everything is priced to sell!! Pfennige on the ReichMark!

Dalem's spoiled Amerikanischer thugs recently failed to continue fighting and left the following items on the field of battle. In celebration of our <big><big>TOTAL VICTORY<small><small> we now bring them to you at a massive discount! Our insurance company has ordered us to sell these items to make room for the plunder from our next victim! All items must go!

5 Sherman Panzers - Includes 2 M4A3's, 2 M4A1's and 1 M8 Grauhund; - Used condition; suitable for scrap metal or playgrounds fur deine Kindern.

1 Panzer model M4A1 - slightly used - gunbarrel needs cleaning; interior soiled by prior occupants.

1 Panzer model M8 - some external blemishes, chipped paint. Runs great!

1 Jeep - Mint condition. Previous owner abandoned vehicle prior to reaching the battle lines.

6 MMG's - Most in working order, some ammo with sale.

3 .50 caliber HMG's - With accompanying ammunition.

9 60mm mortars - some never fired. Limited supply of ammunition available.

535 assorted small arms - includes .45 cal. Colt handguns; M1 Garand rifles; Thompson submachine guns. Many weapons in mint condition - most fired and dropped once.

All products are sold "as-is"; the seller makes no warranty as to their fitness for any particular purpose. Cash only. All sales are final.

I'll give ya US$50 schmackeroos for th' lot Herr Schpruiker. <SMALL>{Thinks - that whinging Lars seems a bit desperate in our newest flogfest - I bet I can sell 'em to 'im for triple that - hehehe}.<BIG>

But there's MORE - I'll throw in the Sydney Opera Bridge as a FREE BONUS!! Ya' won't get a BETTER OFFER than THAT. Be quick - APPLY NOW!! OFFER ENDS TOMORROW!!! <SMALL><SMALL><SMALL>

(Written and authorised by T. Scum for Cess Enterprises Inc<SUP>tm</SUP>)<BIG><BIG>

So, what do you say, Mr Speakeasy?? Is it a deal????

AJ

[Mace]

Originally posted by Lars:

Time to once again legally shut off my tenant's heat.

Unlike all those other, err, unexplained temporary interruptions, yah, that was it.

Mwuahahaha...

Have you ever considered a career in Public Housing? If not, your talents are wasted.

Mace

[Noba]

Boor said

Disco is a tool of the devil and the Bee-Gee's are his serpent-tongued minions.

And to think that you actually knew the lyrics...you should be taken out somewhere and maimed.

If I may point out the bleedin' obvious...

How do you know he actually knew the words ?? Huh ?

Go on !

Answer that little gem !

I have a big stick that which you may hurt yourself with.

And you are right. I am winning our game.

Noba.

[ April 16, 2002, 07:13 AM: Message edited by: Noba ]

[Noba]

Mace !

I'm calling you out. You, you...GEELONG supporter, you ! Your mongrel team can't even read the footy tips column in the paper and see that they were supposed to lose !

That cost me a point in the tipping !!!

I demand a chance to kick your rear end in electronic battle since I can't play the whole team myself.

Noba.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Disco is a tool of the devil

THE HELL IT IS!!!! Disco was <font size="-2">heaven</font> sent. I make no claim to that ****e</font>

[Mace]

Originally posted by Noba:

Sir Mace (keeper of the keys to the Royal Barnyard) !

I'm impressed by your greatness. You, you...GEELONG supporter, you ! Your wonderful team is so uberish and it's simply great that they won their first game for the season !

That did cost me a point in the tipping, but I'm such a dil when making my selection anyway!

I would be an improvement to my reputation if I could play an electronic battle with you. You're so wonderful. Allow me to worship you since In comparison, I'm just a lowely life form.

Noba.

Oh, I do hate sycophants and I do try to avoid them, but *sigh* I suppose I can make an exception since the pawing at my feet was such an impressive display.

Send me a setup.

Mace

btw, Noba, how's the relationship with Big ears going? Still living together?

[Noba]

I'll be a toothless old gammer before I finish them.

Too late. AND you owe Me a turn.

(Cheap shots are the easy ones)

Noba.

[Noba]

Oh, I do hate sycophants and I do try to avoid them, but *sigh* I suppose I can make an exception since the pawing at my feet was such an impressive display.

Send me a setup.

Mace

btw, Noba, how's the relationship with Big ears going? Still living together?

Well you have ignored my cheap shots at the pathetic team you purport to support for quite a while. (Don't say it too often, people laugh behind your back). And if you think that was pawing...slobbering was the idea. Mmmm - Lamb !

I ditched the old bloke for a Golliwog.

Do you have a preference ?

(for battle setups - not your well known "hobby" !)

Noba.

[Noba]

PS. Mace.

Dill is spelt with two 'L's....

Noba.

[Noba]

.....I'm just a lowely life form.

Mace.

I think Mace is switching from sheep to cattle....

Noba.

[Mace]

Why post once when you can flood with 4.

As for setup, surprise me.

Mace.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Noba:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />I'll be a toothless old gammer before I finish them.

Too late. AND you owe Me a turn.

(Cheap shots are the easy ones)

Noba.</font>

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Noba:

I think Mace is switching from sheep to cattle....

Noba.

Noba, sorry to disappoint you but Mace would never lower himself to keep company with a bovine like yourself.

Persephone

P.S. Yeknod, where's your crayon?

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

I'll give ya US$50 schmackeroos for th' lot Herr Schpruiker. <SMALL>{Thinks - that whinging Lars seems a bit desperate in our newest flogfest - I bet I can sell 'em to 'im for triple that - hehehe}.<BIG>

But there's MORE - I'll throw in the Sydney Opera Bridge as a FREE BONUS!! Ya' won't get a BETTER OFFER than THAT. Be quick - APPLY NOW!! OFFER ENDS TOMORROW!!! <SMALL><SMALL><SMALL>

(Written and authorised by T. Scum for Cess Enterprises Inc<SUP>tm</SUP>)<BIG><BIG>

So, what do you say, Mr Speakeasy?? Is it a deal????

AJ

Throw in the following and we may have an agreement:

(aeiouandsometimesy) An immediate halt of the export of Oztraylyun goat piss, also known as Foster's;

(mothermayI) An immediate cessation of the export of Paul Hogan "movies; and

(imalittleteapot) An immediate recall and execution of said Paul Hogan.

Awaiting your response,

MrSpkr

[Lars]

Originally posted by Mace:

Have you ever considered a career in Public Housing? If not, your talents are wasted.

Considered and rejected. The gubmint expects a well run hovel to meet building codes.

Whereas a private enterprise can paper the walls with old newspapers (use the comic section for a cheerful look), leave the rats to nibble on the wiring (noise, what noise?), require a credit check fee (woo hoo, extra beer money), change lease agreements at a whim (says two people, sorry, the newborn has to go), discriminate based on color (green), keep the damage deposit (see that, you walked on the carpet, that ain't coming out), use lead paint (free chips for the kiddies!), arbitrarily raise the rent (more beer money), etc.

Mmm, I get a warm fuzzy just thinking about it.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Lars:

The gubmint expects a well run hovel to meet building codes.

Whereas a private enterprise can paper the walls with old newspapers (use the comic section for a cheerful look), leave the rats to nibble on the wiring (noise, what noise?), require a credit check fee (woo hoo, extra beer money), change lease agreements at a whim (says two people, sorry, the newborn has to go), discriminate based on color (green), keep the damage deposit (see that, you walked on the carpet, that ain't coming out), use lead paint (free chips for the kiddies!), arbitrarily raise the rent (more beer money), etc.

Mmm, I get a warm fuzzy just thinking about it.

Have you ever had rental properties in Ohio? If so, I believe we have met.

[Diceman]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai :

It has to be said. You are a brain dead, mouth breathing cretin. Your pictures aren't remotely amusing and your prose is weak. I would surmise that your intellect is lacking and that you are simply striving to fit in. Do us a favor and cease your pedantic struggles. Find somewhere else to peddle your sophmoric humor. Plucking a cartoon from the internet and displaying it amongst your betters is a sign of a fragile mind. We won't go ooh and ahh upon viewing your weak attempt at idiocy. Your user name is such an affront to normalcy, I cannot type it. Suffice it to say, no one is impressed. Let me yawn now as a demonstration of the common response from the Pool as we view your show of utter stupidity.

You are still welcome to get lost. Find a bridge and jump from it. Find a chainsaw and get intimate with it. Stop polluting my monitor with your inane pictures.

Edited because there is only one worthy of posting pictures in this place. She is betrothed to the embodiement of evil.[/QB]

Feeling a bit elitist today are we? Please pass your feelings toward the little Easter Bunny cartoon onto PawBroon , the esteemed colleague of the MBT who first posted the picture here:

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=send_topic;t=024273;f=1

I think he'll especially appreciate the fragile mind part.

It is apparent you consider yourself superior to the working man by right of birth and education.

There's a reason that behind every successful officer, there stands a good NCO. Prose just doesn't cut it on the battlefield, for on the battlefield intellect is not measured by the artistic use of language, but by the artistic use of terrain, men, and equipment. It is the NCO who shines in the muck, the blood and the horror of battle, not the panty-waists above him who hide behind their sheepskins when it's time for the dirty work. If you have a shred of honor you'll accept my challenge to test will and intellect on the battlefield. How about a clear fall day, meeting engagement moderate tree coverage, modest hills, meeting engagement, mechanized, 2000 points. Pick a side.

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Persephone:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Noba:

I think Mace is switching from sheep to cattle....

Noba.

Noba, sorry to disappoint you but Mace would never lower himself to keep company with a bovine like yourself.

Persephone

P.S. Yeknod, where's your crayon?</font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Have you ever had rental properties in Ohio?

No, I like to actually collect the rent.