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The Peng Challenge - you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy...

dalem
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dalem Senior Member

dalem

Posted
Posted

...we must be cautious.

This here's the Peng Challenge Thread. It's bold. It's smooth. It's peaty.

And most of all, it's ours. You want in, there are rules to follow, such as

reading these rules.

After reading the rules, if somehow you're still interested, you should

pick out a particular person to challenge to a game. If that person is a low level scumbag, or something akin to it like a Scum Sucking Newbie such as yourself, they might accept.

Once you challenge someone you will be either

ignored,

or

insulted. We abuse newcomers (and ourselves). We can't help it. We think it's funny. If you don't think it's funny, then you will be encouraged to SOD OFF most vigorously.

Your challenge should be more than a weak-kneed plea for attention - you should

sound off like you've got a pair.

Be bold. Be unique. Be specific. Be literate. Be rude, but in a mature fashion. Assume all the doo-doo ca-ca poo-poo jokes have been done before.

If somehow all of the above hasn't made you realize that we're all just a bunch of posturing fools having a good time, then come on in, poke someone in the eye and demand a game.

And stuff.

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AUSSIEJEFF Senior Member

AUSSIEJEFF

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Originally posted by Boo-Radley:

Has anyone else noticed a huge lack of content coming from our friends "down under"?

Precisely.....

AJ (Bs)

Bachelor of Succinctness - The Berli College Of Brevity<SMALL>

[Edited to the barely essential....]

<small>[ April 10, 2002, 09:43 PM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]

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dalem Senior Member

dalem

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Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Oh, a new Peng Challenge Thread. I can't say I'm all that impressed with what you've done with the place. Who was your decorator? Stevie Wonder?

I know, I know, I have Australians. There's really nothing that can be done in this climate - you have open doors, you're gonna have Australians. Let's try to look beyond that and see the place for what it really is, okay?
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Seanachai Senior Member

Seanachai

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Well, truth to tell, until I'd met the useless Sod face to face, I wouln't have thought the Dalem would come up with a decent Thread.

Just goes to show how you can be right and wrong, all in the same breath, eh?

Now, the current Thread title amused me, yes it did, and no mistake. And the Rules; well, the Rules were pretty good.

But, and I ask you, folk of the Peng Challenge Thread: Where was the Sod Off?

Where was that moment, poised between welcome and rejection, when the supplicant knew that he had not come amongst friends, and would now have to consider all the years that had brought him to this point of posting?!

Frankly, that engendered moment of shivering decision and plunging in, was lacking.

We have had the Rules. They are ignored.

We've surrounded ourselves with Mystery, Observance, and Obeisance.

The significance of all three are constantly missed, mistaken, or, more generally, ignored. Sometimes, amusingly, some of the idiots fall over one or another and hurt themselves.

How many times will we have to endure idiocy in the hopes of winning one worthwhile fool, one amusing Squire, one worthy Knight, out of all the gibberish that is posted to the Peng Challenge Thread?

I tell you: as many times as the Thread is reborn, that many times shall we have to endure a multitude of fools.

When I consider to myself the value of any of these 'accepted' halfwits, I count myself well recompensed, and look forward to the next meeting.

Look to a new presentation of 'the Rules', the next time we meet.

[ April 11, 2002, 01:42 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

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dalem Senior Member

dalem

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Look to a new presentation of 'the Rules', the next time we meet.

So there are rules about the rules? Who are you, Old Man Joe?

My "sod off" was in the text, and implied, not boldly stated. I know that such literary subtleties are lost on a lip-moving, finger-chasing wretch like yourself, whose only delight regarding the printed word is when those funny little squiggles finally line up enough for you to puzzle out the latest Bazooka Joe punch line and laugh. Oh, how you must laugh!

So send me another turn, laughing boy.

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dalem Senior Member

dalem

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Originally posted by CMplayer:

Sweden is famous for its children's books. Astrid Lindgren is the first name that comes to mind, of course, but who could forget this modern classic?

bajs_stor.jpg

Hint: 'Bajs' rhymes with 'nice'.

They all ate too much "rice"????
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Seanachai Senior Member

Seanachai

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Originally posted by CMplayer:

Sweden is famous for its children's books. Astrid Lindgren is the first name that comes to mind, of course, but who could forget this modern classic?

bajs_stor.jpg

Hint: 'Bajs' rhymes with 'nice'.

Bah! This looks like some sort of unwholesome Squarehead rip-off of the very fine children's book: "Everyone Poops".
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Seanachai Senior Member

Seanachai

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Originally posted by dalem:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

Look to a new presentation of 'the Rules', the next time we meet.

So there are rules about the rules? Who are you, Old Man Joe?

My "sod off" was in the text, and implied, not boldly stated. I know that such literary subtleties are lost on a lip-moving, finger-chasing wretch like yourself, whose only delight regarding the printed word is when those funny little squiggles finally line up enough for you to puzzle out the latest Bazooka Joe punch line and laugh. Oh, how you must laugh!

So send me another turn, laughing boy.</font>

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AUSSIEJEFF Senior Member

AUSSIEJEFF

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Posted
Originally posted by CMplayer:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

This looks like some sort of unwholesome Squarehead rip-off of the very fine children's book: "Everyone Poops".

And how do you know it's not the other way around, eh? Sweden is a real trendsetter in this dept.</font>
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AUSSIEJEFF Senior Member

AUSSIEJEFF

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

{snip}

I humbly beg the indulgence of the annoying Grog blight known as Dorosh while I recuperate.

My Noble Liege. Shall I, too, aspire to indulge *gasp* <SMALL>Grogs<BIG> *splutter* in the course of time? I have no experience in these matters.

Humbly,

AJ

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Noba Senior Member

Noba

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An update.

AJ and I are engrossed in a joust set up by our sponsors...well he's the gross one and our sponsors havn't actually come up with the 'goods' yet.

He is trying to seek my forces by using in a squandrous fashion - KubelVagen rushes to suss me out. FAIL. (Why is it the Polish troops always sound like they are swearing ?)

We also are playing at another one...too early to tell how much he will lose by.

Lars thinks his early game rush in which he lost all his armour is enough to win the game. I doubt that, but not long to go.

Boo is calmly walking where no twerp has gone before...straight into Gerbil-induced heaven.

Even StuG's take out his armour.

Donkey-clonk is so slow to send the last few turns...I think he can't face the inevitable. I have the flags and he doesn't. A win due I think.

Croda is doing his masterfull best to take out my Uber tanks...I love it when he plays all macho like...

SpeedBump is retreating to the prison camp. I own everything. He doesn't.

The Evil one is somnambulant, as are Seanachai, Simon and Hanns.

Noba.

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MrSpkr Senior Member

MrSpkr

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Updates!

Panzer Leader has deigned to return a file! Now if I can only remember what scenario we were playing. It's some kind of urban hell, with lots of burning buildings and not enough 'splodey stuff.

I just sent Leeo the last turn. This is likely to be a tie, although he may have pulled a very minor victory out of it. The fact my idiot tank gunner decided to fire smoke into the middle of my troops rather than turn his machine guns on Leeo's charging troops may have had something to do with it.

Speedbump has blown up another of my Ronsons. That is the one bright spot for his untertruppen during the last five turns. Even now, my advance scouts can see his gerbils running for the safety zone that is the back map edge.

Mace has finally hit my forward line of resistance. For some reason, he thinks charging a platoon into a company line will be an effective tactic. He must be an ADFA honors graduate.

Dalem keeps hiding his 'splodey guys from my armor. Come out and fight like a man (or a Michiminisota man, if that is the best you can do).

Lars is continuing his advance on the fearsome Merzenhausen Zoo complex. I think he is trying to feed the monkeys (insert obligatory sarcasm here).

Pondscum still needs to send a setup.

That is all.

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Berlichtingen Senior Member

Berlichtingen

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Posted
Originally posted by AussieJeff:

<font size="-1">My Noble Liege. Shall I, too, aspire to indulge *gasp* <SMALL>Grogs<BIG> *splutter* in the course of time? I have no experience in these matters.</font>

Indulge? No. Seanachai indulges them. You may have to tolerate them from time to time, but NEVER *KICK* indulge them
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imported_Hiram Sedai Senior Member

imported_Hiram Sedai

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So much stress so little time to savor it. A little advice to the unwashed masses: Don’t ever let a maniacal female move in with you. It is quite difficult to get her corpulent frame out of your apartment. We all know that I’ve made some bad decisions in the past, but next time I do find love, please remind me that it should be a new computer or perhaps some tasty software.

Yeah, I’m playing CM against a few of you invertebrates, but work is Monday over and over again. I’ve had Monday’s every day these past two weeks. I would kindly as the Berli fix his Monday machine cause this just isn’t funny any more.

Great tufts of hair and tears cover my keyboard as I type this. I will now find a precipice to hurl my hirsute frame into or perhaps some bitter beer to make me speak Croda's name over and over again. It would seem that the light at the end of the tunnel was nothing more than a glow in the dark can of pain and misery that reality has opened up on me.

Edited because I had an additional 30 seconds to myself. My ex girlfriends know how I can creatively utilize 30 seconds.

[ April 11, 2002, 09:54 AM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

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