I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough

[Noba]

Posted by the Geelong supporter,

Shuttup!

I hate you!

Your friendly Aussie Kiniggit, Mace

We're the Eagles....and you're not.

Edited for more emphasis.

Noba.

[ March 31, 2002, 05:09 AM: Message edited by: Noba ]

[Noba]

Sire Slapdragon spake

So I think I will ask a boon of my own liege, the master of the pits of hell and ask him what proof I should require of your worthyness to join the members of clan Hades. Let me warn you, he is the devil, so the task will be hard. Would you like him to place it before you, to win your spurs or forever forget your name on the shores of the river Lethe?

Gulp. Not... {The Clan Leader hisself ?}

Omigod, what have I done ?{Draws Himself up to his full insignificant height}

"I shall indeed put myself to the task you set for me. However hard it may seen to be."

(I wonder if letting him win our current battle will help ?)

ps. Where's Lethe ?

Noba.

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

The wind blows, and sand sifts, twists, and moves like a snake over a landscape bereft of anything other than browns, grays, and blacks, with only a leaping, warm red glow of spotted flame on the edge of the empty plain.

Three figures sit in the empty darkness. One is cloaked in writhing smoke deeper than the local darkness, red-eyed and brooding. One is a straight backed figure, staring at nothing in particular, and occassionally raising a tall clay mug to its lips. The last figure is hunched over, with whitening hair, drawing in the shifting sand with a stick, and singing softly to itself. From the figure of fire and smoke a resonant voice proceeds.

Berli: They mock you, and you allow it. It is not fitting.

Seanachai (distracted): Yes. They mock me.

Peng: Even those you speak up for, they belittle you.

Seanachai: Oh, yes, those most of all.

A silence descends over the shifting drabness of the wasteland. The fire just visible on the horizon leaps up, brightening, and the sound of laughter and loud voices drifts across the Wasteland.

Berli: Do you hear? They are laughing at you even now.

Seanachai looks up, one eyebrow raised, and cocks his head to the sound, with a half-smile

Seanachai: I hear. And they are. I can make out every voice, bless 'em. There's Hiram, ridiculing me and casting his own fears at my life. And there's R Leete, sneering at me and belittling my offer of patronage.

Berli: You are weak.

Seanachai: I am tolerant.

Peng: You are foolish.

Seanachai: I am amused.

Berli: You are useless.

Seanachai: I am...useless, yes.

The silence extends on, save for the hollow sound of the wind, and the hiss of shifting sand.

Berli: Why do you insist on playing the fool to those we're waiting on?

Peng: Why do you keep us here, waiting on these fools?

Seanachai: They'll be here, you know. And we're their best chance to show themselves, do ya' see. We open the path, and make the way clear. And we give them the chance to make their mark. And they will shine.

Berli: They are still laughing at you.

Seanachai: Of course they are, Berli. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Peng: Bah! Where's the whiskey?

The Figure of Smoke and Flame reaches to one side, and brings forth a bottle of green glass, and pours round.

Seanachai: Who's for a bit of an Olde One sing-song?

See you sparkle in the mud

Like a diamond in the rough

Ready for the cut

Some stay dull, some stay blunt

But you will shine

Stand and say I am, the lion and the lamb I am

Part of the plan I am, the lion and the lamb

-Pete Morton

Then out of the darkness another figure appears and slowly approaches the three Olde Ones the new arrival stops and bows gracefully.

YK2: Pardon Dear Knights, I've travelled far and am weary may I sit down?

Seanacoochie: standing to give up his seat..... what brings you here Fair Emma, are those lowley serfs neglecting their duties?

YK2: Oh no, nothing like that SEAN infact they are probably the best bunch we have had yet, nothing is much too trouble for them, and the wishes of Dame Persephone and I are always carried out with the utmost diligence.

Peng: Oh for god's sake woman, stop rabbiting on so and tell us why you are here.

Berli: Pass that bottle over here Peng this could be a long night.

Seanacoochie: Let her speak....

YK2: I'll get straight to the point, many of the Poolers are restless, there are too many serfs lately and every time someone steps forward to bestow the honour of squirehood on one of those lowley serfs then the Justicar steps in to stop it.

Peng: It's his job, he follows the writings of the Sacred Book even you should know that, bloody women... So... what are you whinging about?

YK2: I've come to ask for a change of rules.

Berli: In the name of Bealzebub, Joe shaw will have heart failure if he hears you utter such insanity..... *Hmmmm* on second thoughts, good idea.

I could do with another soul. *Evil Smirk*

Seanacoochie: So Fair Emma, what do you propose?

YK2: Only that the rules be changed, to state that when an OLDE ONE suggests a certain serf as Squire and then that's backed up as requested by a LADY OF THE POOL then it should be DONE

PENG: Huh! And you are????

BERLI: Shush PENG she has a point.

We are the OLDE ONES when we speak then it SHOULD and WILL be done. The SACRED BOOK was written for guidance, to be followed for when we are not around, but when we are, then the WORD of an OLDE ONEis GOSPEL ... did I really use that word .

Seanacoochie: I second that.

YK2: That's exactly what DAME PERSEPHONE said in the pool and to what avail?

PENG: OK,OK, Point taken.... So I agree, anything to stop your bloody whining, BERLI pass the bottle mate....

BERLI: Roight, so it shall be done, SEANACHAI remind me to have a word with Joe we'll have to be gentle, wouldn't want him to think he's not needed. *Another Evil Smirk*

And with that YK2 leaves the OLDE ONES sitting by the fire discussing what's to be.......... *HIC*

[ March 31, 2002, 07:51 AM: Message edited by: YK2 ]

[Stuka]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

We sure do!

I have the pleasure of announcing a 20-something to 8 victory of the Brisbane broncoes over the Sydney City Roosters in last nights Rugby League clash.

Thereby keeping your old Unca Stukey firmly entrenched at the head of his works' footy tipping comp and a week nearer to the $100 prize in 2 weeks time.

BTW, the Broncos would like to publicly thank Joe Shaw for his continued support and fund raising activities with special mention to Seanachai for organising the chook raffles.

[ March 31, 2002, 07:51 AM: Message edited by: Stuka ]

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Slapdragon:

So I think I will ask a boon of my own liege, the master of the pits of hell and ask him what proof I should require of your worthyness to join the members of clan Hades. Let me warn you, he is the devil, so the task will be hard. Would you like him to place it before you, to win your spurs or forever forget your name on the shores of the river Lethe?

Well, he can start by losing the battle with me...

A joust... there must be a joust

A quest... something odious (use your imagination)

That should do the trick

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

<font size="-1">Now, horror of horrors, we have Squires being named Knight without the proper forms being followed! And by an Olde One no less!</font>

Which proper forms would they be?

<font size="-1">Then, a Lady of the Pool (NOT, note you carefully, THE Lady of the Pool) taking upon herself the mantle of Knight and attempting to second the unlawful and unconsecrated motion of Seanachai! </font>

Last I checked, there are three Ladies of the Pool to check the influence of the three Olde Ones. Seanachai requested the response of one of them.

<font size="-1">No one, I hasten to add, holds the Ladies of the CessPool in higher regard than myself, and indeed I have said that were it up to me, they would be accorded all rights and privileges of Knighthood.</font>

A motion put forth by Seanachai and approved before you sobered up long enough to mumble something along those lines

<font size="-1">Sadly, however, MY motion fell on deaf ears</font>

'Cus it was old news

<font size="-1">The rule, good young Pondscum, is that:

{VII-A/3.12} a Squire must complete FIVE (5) CessPool games whilst a Squire before the Applicant is to be considered to have met the requirements for Knighthood.</font>

Actually OLD boy, your memory fails you twice. First, by tradition, the requirement is a Squires' Joust. Second, we scarped the arbitrary five game idea some time ago. Let's face it, how does playing five games show anyone to be worthy?

<font size="-1">Now no doubt Berli will pop in and proclaim that he doesn't give a rats ass about the rule and proclaim Les Majesty (never cared for Les myself, pompous jackass if you ask me and who goes by the name of Majesty?) and state that the lad be made Knight and that's that and how's your old man.</font>

Me? Not care about the rules? Ok, that is true... they're dumb

<font size="-1">And, of course, we all see the hand, do we not, of Patch in this matter? Before she's done we'll HAVE the kinder, gentler Cess that ONCE was proclaimed and more's the pity if you ask me. </font>

The HELL we will! No amount of nagging from Patch will make me loath anyone here less.

<font size="-1">But I've cast MY vote for the RIGHT OF IT lads. Let's see the accounting of the games, let's PROVE his RIGHT to be Knight and THEN I'll be among the proudest to call him brother.</font>

When all is said and done, the only one who's opinion matters in this matter is Dalem's. It is up to his knight to determine if he has performed adequately in the tasks set for him

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

<font size="-1">FORT Apache is a pretty good John Wayne cavalry movie but can't compare to She Wore a Yellow Ribbon.</font>

The Horse Soldiers is the best of the bunch. John Wayne kickin' Reb butt... gotta love that

[ March 31, 2002, 09:47 AM: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ]

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

I'll continue to think for myself.

It pleases us that you believe that

[Joe Shaw]

What part of "undertook a historical reenactment" did you not understand, oh bloated and litigious knigget?

And what part of "undertook" do you presume indicates a completion of said game? Undertook merely means that the game was begun, not completed.

But fine, if the game was indeed completed then, as I said, I withdraw my question and grant that you do indeed qualify as a Knight of the CessPool and I hereby and forthwith acknowledge you as such ... now sit down, you're just a Junior Knight after all and, as the most Junior, therefore just a Junior Junior Knight.

Berli, your evil attempts to allow choas to have it's way in the CessPool will avail you not. The rules have been established and you may change them NOT by fiat (or even Ferrari) but by the time honored tradition of whatever the hell the time honored tradition is around here after you and the girls go about amending it to allow SSNs to be granted rights if they sound cute!

In any case, I'm off to Des Moines early tomorrow and won't be back or available until late Wednesday and I may not even check in then as this is all becoming just too depressing for words. The only thing MORE depressing is the realization that I have to meet YOU next week. Patch, despite her recent agitation to grant every snot nosed SSN a Knighthood without proper peer review, I look forward to meeting. Pity she's accompanying you.

Joe

[jdmorse]

Ahh my sad pathetic pool......it's so much more interesting to observe the lack of grasp of reality that inhabits this place. True I do enjoy siting on the porch watching the antics of my fellows, tis a fine day , a fine day...Carry on.........

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

<font size="-1>The rules have been established and you may change them NOT by fiat (or even Ferrari) but by the time honored tradition of whatever the hell the time honored tradition is around here after you and the girls go about amending it to allow SSNs to be granted rights if they sound cute!</font>

The time honored tradition for changing the rules is rather complicated. I'll speak slowly and use small words so you understand...

'cus

we

say

so

[dalem]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

When all is said and done, the only one who's opinion matters in this matter is Dalem's. It is up to his knight to determine if he has performed adequately in the tasks set for him

Well. Let me think back to the last time my opinion counted for anything....

Hmmm.... Still thinking....

Nope, can't latch on to anything there.

Anyhoo, I raised Pondscum from the muck, booted him 'round a bit, set him to his five games (whether relevant or not), bade him wear the mantle of The French in all those games, which he did with aplomb and persnicketiness, and even made him spend a night in the box. Also, I loaned him out to fair Persephone to try to smooth out a wrinkle caused by an Olde One hisself, and he shouldered that burden as well.

He performed as required, entertained when threatened, and grovelled when beaten.

I say knight the lad already. If it cheeses off Old Man Joe, then so much the better.

There. I have spoken. And I ended up putting that bottle in the cabinet without cracking it. Maybe a special occasion, like a really good cheese sandwich.....

[ March 31, 2002, 02:17 PM: Message edited by: dalem ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

SEGUND, not all elevations to Squiredom are without merit, though the recent crop is greatly disappointing.

Joe

Well, you've certainly put a stool down next to this thought and milked it for everything you could get out if it.

Can we be blamed if we in our desolation attempt to merely emulate the great and grand Ka-Niggets we see strewn around us in huge dissolute piles like flotsam and jetsam, like wrack and ruin, like Minneapolis and St. Paul?

We seek wisdom in Algonquinesqe bon mots, but are given large beery men in strappy t-shirts and faded boxers covered in what we hope are mustard stains.

It is to weep.

Now, lest I forget:

I have no idea when Yegg-nogg will be returning from holiday, so the games we are engaged in are on indefinite hold.

I haven't received a turn from R-Leete since he found out he may have to become Seanachai's scapegoat, er...squire.

CarNoba Polish must be playing on another map as I haven't seen hide nor hair of his Aryan wunderkinds. I'm somewhere in France and I believe he's just outside Downer's Grove, Illinois.

Shock-the-Monkey and his digital dervishes unexpectedly ran into a problem in a patch of woods on my right flank. The problem consisted of a bunch of my rested Panzergrenadiers.

Ozzie and Harriet's kid Jeff is using a two pronged attack on my British stalwarts. One prong is rushing straight into my minefields and Vickers, while the other prong exits the right side of my map in an attempt to rush me from behind. I actually could lose this one because it's hard to input orders when you're falling down laughing.

Happy Easter and Sod Off.

[ March 31, 2002, 06:18 PM: Message edited by: Boo_Radley ]

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

I wait for turns and grow sad because I know that Monday is waiting for me. I will open my eyes and know the horror that is a Monday morning. I know that sometimes the anticipation of pain can be worse than the pain...but I do remember Monday's past and I wake in cold sweats. Let me mourn for the Monday that is to be and the Saturday that was. I don't fear for my sanity because I'll gladly lose it if it removed the sting of the Monday upon my bare soul. I won't trouble you any further. Go about your business and pretend that you don't fear the first day of the week. Laugh when Monday kicks me in the hindquarters and steals my cup of coffee. I do hope you enjoy yourselves out there in Peng land. Don't mind the sad and desparate weeping coming from New Jersey because of the imminant arrival of a Monday. I won't say "Selah" cause that's just gay.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Don't mind the sad and desparate weeping coming from New Jersey because of the imminant arrival of a Monday.

1.12.44) It's already Monday;

W00t) It's a public holiday!!!!

Sucks to be you.

Mace

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Slapdragon:

So I think I will ask a boon of my own liege, the master of the pits of hell and ask him what proof I should require of your worthyness to join the members of clan Hades. Let me warn you, he is the devil, so the task will be hard. Would you like him to place it before you, to win your spurs or forever forget your name on the shores of the river Lethe?

Well, he can start by losing the battle with me...

A joust... there must be a joust

A quest... something odious (use your imagination)

That should do the trick</font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

I wait for turns and grow sad because I know that Monday is waiting for me. I will open my eyes and know the horror that is a Monday morning. I know that sometimes the anticipation of pain can be worse than the pain...but I do remember Monday's past and I wake in cold sweats. Let me mourn for the Monday that is to be and the Saturday that was. I don't fear for my sanity because I'll gladly lose it if it removed the sting of the Monday upon my bare soul. I won't trouble you any further. Go about your business and pretend that you don't fear the first day of the week. Laugh when Monday kicks me in the hindquarters and steals my cup of coffee. I do hope you enjoy yourselves out there in Peng land. Don't mind the sad and desparate weeping coming from New Jersey because of the imminant arrival of a Monday. I won't say "Selah" cause that's just gay.

Monday in New Jersey AND April Fool's Day to boot. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Think this just might drive you insane? Well, Godspeed.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by dalem:

I say knight the lad already.

Done.

Welcome Sir Pondscum... I now loath you. I would have before had I noticed you at all

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

I know that Monday is waiting for me.

Just finished working one up for you. Rest assured that there is a fine Monday awaiting you. Enjoy

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Or would'st setting two Oztraylians agin' each 'tother in a Joust be too evil to contemplate??

Evil? No. However, have two Ozzies have a go at each other does have its side benefits. If one of you kills the other, we all win.

I'll put together a map and send it to Slapdragon. He can put together the forces

[Panzer Leader]

You know, I think Elvis might actually be the wisest among us. Anyhow, he said it best and Ii quote:

Wankers.

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Or would'st setting two Oztraylians agin' each 'tother in a Joust be too evil to contemplate??

Evil? No. However, have two Ozzies have a go at each other does have its side benefits. If one of you kills the other, we all win.

I'll put together a map and send it to Slapdragon. He can put together the forces</font>

[dalem]

PONDSCUM!!!!!

Oh, there you are. Pondscum, I now bold your name as is proper for all Kaniggets. Now go out and make House Persiflage proud! Or at least not liable.

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by PondScum:

Dear MrSpkr,

Think Bauhaus. Think Mace. THRUST as if your very life depended on it.

Ready?

GO!

You, Sir, are very demented.

Now, are you sending that setup or is the whole "attaching files to emails" thing confusing you?

[Noba]

The EVILONE intoned..

I'll put together a map and send it to Slapdragon. He can put together the forces..

Aaaarggghhh ! Not with AJ! He lives in the HILLS, radiation has addled his brain. Extra thorium for breakfast does that.

Sire Slapdragon kill the evil forces in two turns...you know you can do it. Give me the springboard for the glorious victory that is rightfully ours.

Noba.