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I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough


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Quick update:

Crodaburg, otherwise known as "how not to attack fortified positions": The German reinforcements have arrived. Boo Radley is not pleased, to say the least. I'm beginning to see your creative genius, Sir Croda .

No reply from Tank Man. Methinks you have scared him off. Hey, it worked!

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To R Leete et al

An apology too all , having now visited usenet , a place that i had never heard of before i now see the difference , ignorance of course is not a defence and now I stand corrected.

I humbly beg forgiveness for any offence caused.

I have left the offending posts up only to serve as a reminder to myself to never be so stupid again. I will happily remove them if requested to.

Simon Elwen

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Originally posted by R_Leete:

Quick update:

[qb] Crodaburg, otherwise known as "how not to attack fortified positions": The German reinforcements have arrived. Boo Radley is not pleased, to say the least. I'm beginning to see your creative genius, Sir Croda .

I was extremely angry when I saw those four Panthers show up out of nowhere. Then I was surprised that R_Leete (who likes Cream-o-Wheat) brought them out of hiding right next to some of my 'Zooks. Now I'm only half as angry.

BTW, R_Leete, did you say "reinforcements" or "smoking debris"?

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Speedy

Member

Member # 1041

For advice on witty reparte to impart on your PBEM opponents take a dip in the Cesspool (aka:- the PENG thread).

Australians most welcome!

ALERT! ALERT! Acccctungggg!!!

In the worst tradition of the UberGnome I bring you evidence of trolling for playfreinds on the outer board.

Are we that desperate?

I think not. Sir Speedy (Italisized out of digust) what say you?

Let me cast the first stone.....

Hoik! ..........................

.............. Thunk!

"Good shot"

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Originally posted by Simon Elwen:

An apology too all , having now visited usenet , a place that i had never heard of before i now see the difference , ignorance of course is not a defence and now I stand corrected.

I humbly beg forgiveness for any offence caused.

Awww shucks, come here 'lil Simon.

*places hand on shoulder and ruffles hair*

Don't cry son, its alright. Uncle Stukey knows you can't help being thick. And for what its worth, apology accepted although I still think your'e a git.

Now run along and play in the minefield.

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Originally posted by YK2:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Croda:

Fortunately for us, your inner Croda rules the roost, and your inner Hiram is tethered to a post in the basement.

Tst Tst Croda

First you have delusions about me being tied up after hours, now you see Hiram tethered to a post, and in the basement no less.....

Next thing we hear you'll be running after Yeknod with a lasso and expecting us to believe you're practising for an upcoming rodeo...</font>

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Originally posted by Stuka:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Simon Elwen:

An apology too all , having now visited usenet , a place that i had never heard of before i now see the difference , ignorance of course is not a defence and now I stand corrected.

I humbly beg forgiveness for any offence caused.

Awww shucks, come here 'lil Simon.

*SNIP..... some syrupy gut-wrenching guff* for what its worth, apology accepted although I still think your'e a git.

Now run along and play in the minefield.</font>

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Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Meaning absolutely no disrespect, Dear Persephone, but you may want to cut the medication in half from now on.

Just a suggestion, you understand.

Ahem. The dear Persephone, who has brought us all much mirth, shown mercy to some of our less deserving lackwits, and who, like that Goddess of the Seasons who regulates the excesses of her Evil Husband, adds that touch to the Thread that keeps us from billowing testosterone poisoning, is quite right in whatever she says, should it be even just monosyllables regarding fish.

BUT YOU, YOU ****E-SITTING, 'SELF-TOUCHING BECAUSE EVEN THE CARRION EATERS WOULDN'T GIVE IT A LICK, DEAD AS IT IS' SACK OF PUS!

WHO TOLD YOU, LADDIE, TO SEND YOUR USELESS, POINTLESS, EGREGIOUS THOUGHTS THE WAY OF ONE OF THE LADIES OF THE 'POOL?

That I should live so long, to see this sort of dis-service done. Mind, it's woken me up a bit. Been in a bit of decline.

[ March 28, 2002, 12:05 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

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Originally posted by Simon Elwen:

To R Leete et al

An apology too all , having now visited usenet , a place that i had never heard of before i now see the difference , ignorance of course is not a defence and now I stand corrected.

I humbly beg forgiveness for any offence caused.

I have left the offending posts up only to serve as a reminder to myself to never be so stupid again. I will happily remove them if requested to.

Simon Elwen

There, Lad. You're a pillock, and no mistake, but we've all had a look down that path.

Why, I was twice importuned by GunnyBunny himself to come to his Usenet site and begin an incarnation of the Peng Challenge Thread. He thought that the inclusion of 'Peng Thread Celebrities' would help popularize the site. Ah, yes, 'celebrity' status.

"Look, Mummie, that man has donkey piss in his hair!"

"Hush, child, that's the Seanachai! He's famous in the Peng Challenge Thread!"

"But Mum, he's all icky!"

"Of course he is, child, but at least he's not Grog Dorosh!"

The bastard absolutely refused to take a hand in renaming the Thread!

Grog Dorosh! I'm calling you out, lad.

Do you even play the game, you almost dizzying spin of amorphous facts? You pensively Canadian cleric of Combat Mission minutia?

Silence! No Seconds, No Maps, No Scenarios, No Ladders!

A Quick Battle! Nothing between Grog Dorosh and eternity but me, and my steed!

goddamn it, Yeknod, where are you? We're Challenging a goddamn Grog

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Guest PondScum

Originally posted by Seanachai:

goddamn it, Yeknod, where are you? We're Challenging a goddamn Grog
Always Check Steed Before Challenging.

Had you been paying attention, you would have realised that your little Donkey-Boy is absent from the pool. Even the croonings of the fair Persephone have not tempted him back to his thistle patch. But nooooo, you were too busy going into a decline.

And then giving the MBT a new name and scaring the Croda out of all its poor denizens who think they have SEVEN NEW PAGES of drivel to read. Bilious bastage.

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Originally posted by PondScum:

Had you been paying attention, you would have realised that your little Donkey-Boy is absent from the pool. Even the croonings of the fair Persephone have not tempted him back to his thistle patch. But nooooo, you were too busy going into a decline.

And then giving the MBT a new name and scaring the Croda out of all its poor denizens who think they have SEVEN NEW PAGES of drivel to read. Bilious bastage.

Indeed, in a decline I have been, Lad

Stand up when I'm talking to you, you goggle-eyed pilchard!, but I am not yet your student.

What's it all about, Algae?

You mock me, sirrah, and do not deny it. You think me wan, past my time, and quite extuingished beneath the silly red cap. You fancy yourself, perhaps, fit to bandy words with me.

Think it not, fool.

Were you to live to a far greater age than you seem likely to achieve, absorb a far greater share of literature than you've ever yet encountered, and prove a far greater benefit to humanity than you have, you would still not begin to concern me.

I shall set you a penance, simply because you are filled with hubris. Bring to us a quotation from literature worthy of the Peng Challenge Thread, or begone.

And only the Olde Ones will judge if it is worthy.

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Guest PondScum

Originally posted by Seanachai, a knight without his steed, a liege without his squire, a Don Quixote wannabe:

Bring to us a quotation from literature worthy of the Peng Challenge Thread, or begone.

And only the Olde Ones will judge if it is worthy.

Literature, eh? Worthy of the MBT, eh? Olde Ones, eh?

Right. You asked for it.

Peng: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight. I am Peng, King of the Pool. I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my cesspool. You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me? [pause] No? You make me sad. Come, Seanachai.

Berli: None shall pass.

Peng: What?

Berli: None shall pass.

Peng: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.

Berli: Then you shall die.

Peng: I command you, as King of the Pool, to stand aside!

Berli: I move for no man.

Peng: So be it!

[Peng chops Berli's left arm off]

Peng: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

Berli: 'Tis but a scratch.

Peng: A scratch? Your arm's off!

Berli: No, it isn't.

Peng: Well, what's that, then?

Berli: I've had worse.

Peng: You liar!

Berli: Come on, you pansy!

[Peng chops Berli's right arm off]

Peng: Victory is mine! We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--

Berli: Hah! [kick] Come on, then.

Peng: What?

Berli: Have at you! [kick]

Peng: You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.

Berli: Oh, had enough, eh?

Peng: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.

Berli: Yes, I have.

Peng: Look!

Berli: Just a flesh wound. [kick]

Peng: Look, stop that.

Berli: Chicken! [kick] Chicken!

Peng: Look, I'll have your leg. [kick] Right!

[Peng chops Berli's right leg off]

Berli: Right. I'll do you for that!

Peng: You'll what?

Berli: Come here!

Peng: What are you going to do, bleed on me?

Berli: I'm invincible!

Peng: You're a looney.

Berli: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then!

[Peng chops Berli's last leg off]

Berli: Alright, we'll call it a draw.

Peng: Come, Seanachai.

[leaves]

Berli: Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

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Originally posted by PondScum:

Originally posted by Seanachai, a knight without his steed, a liege without his squire, a Don Quixote wannabe:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Bring to us a quotation from literature worthy of the Peng Challenge Thread, or begone.

And only the Olde Ones will judge if it is worthy.

Literature, eh? Worthy of the MBT, eh? Olde Ones, eh?

Right. You asked for it.

*SNIP!* ..... mis-quoted froth and bubble extracted from Monty Python's Quaist Fer Tha Hooly Grayl.
</font>
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a darkened room . two figures lie asleep in armchairs

creeaak , the door opens

SLAM BANG "I'm back"

clomp clomp clomp clomp

"uncle stukey uncle stukey UNCLE STUKEY

wake up uncle stukey WAKE UP"

"make me a minefield to play in , make me one you said you would go on go on go on go on ......

"uncle jeff uncle jeff UNCLE JEFF

wake upwake up WAKE UP where's the barbed wire You promised me you said you would make some you did you said go on go on go on go on".......

somebody else enters

"Uncle seanachi , uncle stukey and uncle jeff won't wake up and play but you will won't you? I want a barbed wire and a minefield and a tank and a soldier and a gun and a jeep and a spotter and a morter and a bazooka and a sniper and a bunker and an engineer and a flamethrower go on go on go on I'm bored playing on my own"

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Guest PondScum

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

While the sacred Monty Python is indeed worthy of the Mutha Beautiful Thread it is not literature.
Pah. You're just sulking because you got the bad part. Besides, what are a few limbs between friends?

Do not return again until your quote is both worthy and from literature. For your lazy attempt, I will tack on a further requirement... your literary source must be pre 20th century and originally written in a language other than English
Oh, sure. "Clean up after the donkey, Pondscum". "Always play as the French, Pondscum". "Win Peng's name back, Pondscum". "Get into the box, Pondscum". And now "Find us some literature that we can understand while drooling in our dotage because we're too feckin' lazy to drag our aged corpses to a bookshelf, Pondscum".

Fine. Be Like That.

In slashing, hewing, cleaving, word and deed,

I was the foremost knight of chivalry,

Stout, bold, expert, as e'er the world did see;

Thousands from the oppressor's wrong I freed;

Great were my feats, eternal fame their meed;

In love I proved my truth and loyalty;

The hugest giant was a dwarf for me;

Ever to knighthood's laws gave I good heed.

My mastery the Fickle Goddess owned,

And even Chance, submitting to control,

Grasped by the forelock, yielded to my will.

Yet - though above yon horned moon enthroned

My fortune seems to sit - great Quixote, still

Envy of thy achievements fills my soul.

<font size=-3>Ungrateful wretches</font>

[ March 28, 2002, 08:35 AM: Message edited by: PondScum ]

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Meaning absolutely no disrespect, Dear Persephone, but you may want to cut the medication in half from now on.

Just a suggestion, you understand.

Ahem. The dear Persephone, who has brought us all much mirth, shown mercy to some of our less deserving lackwits, and who, like that Goddess of the Seasons who regulates the excesses of her Evil Husband, adds that touch to the Thread that keeps us from billowing testosterone poisoning, is quite right in whatever she says, should it be even just monosyllables regarding fish.

BUT YOU, YOU ****E-SITTING, 'SELF-TOUCHING BECAUSE EVEN THE CARRION EATERS WOULDN'T GIVE IT A LICK, DEAD AS IT IS' SACK OF PUS!

WHO TOLD YOU, LADDIE, TO SEND YOUR USELESS, POINTLESS, EGREGIOUS THOUGHTS THE WAY OF ONE OF THE LADIES OF THE 'POOL?

That I should live so long, to see this sort of dis-service done. Mind, it's woken me up a bit. Been in a bit of decline.</font>

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Originally posted by PondScum:

In slashing, hewing, cleaving, word and deed,

I was the foremost knight of chivalry,

Stout, bold, expert, as e'er the world did see;

Thousands from the oppressor's wrong I freed;

Great were my feats, eternal fame their meed;

In love I proved my truth and loyalty;

The hugest giant was a dwarf for me;

Ever to knighthood's laws gave I good heed.

My mastery the Fickle Goddess owned,

And even Chance, submitting to control,

Grasped by the forelock, yielded to my will.

Yet - though above yon horned moon enthroned

My fortune seems to sit - great Quixote, still

Envy of thy achievements fills my soul.

Not bad... much better than your first attempt. However, it lacks the panache necessary to be truly worthy of the Mutha Beautiful Thread

Try again

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