Cheery Waffles hate angryolized Maggots like you. Yes you.

[Dave H]

Originally posted by mike_the_wino:

Dave H, why do you hate the Guinness? Would you be happier if he were drinking Moosehead? By the by, that isn't a Guinness in that now infamous shot of unspeakable horror, looks like some crap all wine cooler that only queers and Canadians drink.

Oops, my mistake. The post I remembered was from a completely different maggot:

Originally posted by Snarker:

Drinking Guinness today, because I feel the need slurp pond scum.

Okay, then I think Paula should immediately kill both Axe and Snarker. They both have lots of room for improvement in their next incarnations. Even better, maybe there won't be any rebirth for either one of them.

[Snarker]

There are only two kinds of people in the world: those that drink Guinness, and those that wish they had the taste to. :mad: :mad: :mad:

[_Axe_]

Amen. :mad: :mad:

[Dave H]

Originally posted by Snarker:

There are only two kinds of people in the world: those that drink Guinness, and those that wish they had the taste to. :mad: :mad: :mad:

You're not too far off. Actually there are two kinds of people in the world: the brain dead people who think the Guinness "Celebrate St. Patrick's Day" commercials are hilarious, and the rest of us who think the same commercials are a painful exercise in stupidity and hypocrisy. (Drink responsibly. Right. ) Sadly, they always hit the airwaves at NCAA tournament time. Thank God for remote controls!

[Snarker]

I don't drink Guinness for the commercials. :mad: :mad:

[_Axe_]

Testify! :mad: :mad:

[PseudoSimonds]

Originally posted by _Axe_:

Testify! :mad: :mad:

When's your trial? I'll be the prosecution's star witness. Your TNT-chucking truancy will be punished with the full might of the Canadian legal system (*cough*). :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Soddball]

I managed to pack in three hours of CM map-building yesterday, and finished off the Alpine Summer campaign. It's 42,000 points, 675 turns over 15 battles on an 8km x 4km map.

I also playtested 15 turns of battle 1, and it's quite good fun if you're patient.

I'd put it up at the Scenario Depot but it has a 100kb limit and the scenario is 220kb. I'll have to email it to Admiral Keth.

Turns out when I'm back from work (Wednesday, by the look of things).

[Becket]

What the hell? Who stole the 2121?

FYI: if you like grand strategy, World at War is out this week. It consumes almost all of my PBEM time these days.

[Becket]

Hey, Snarker, you mispelled Lagavulin

[Snarker]

GUINNESS.

WaW does look very good. Is that the World in Flames game out of Australia, or a true Grigsby game?

[Becket]

True Grigsby game from the ground up. Superficially similar to Axis & Allies, but about 100 times deeper (plus more territories, units, etc.).

(They've got the WiF license, but no idea what they're going to do with that game.)

Anywho, fun as hell.

[Snarker]

I almost forgot, maggots! I was one angryolized Waffle at 0345 Sunday morning, I tell you! My outside motion detectors went off. Before you think I'm paranoid, we've had multiple incidents of vandalism in the neighborhood. Wait a minute, I AM paranoid. Ignore that explanation. :mad:

Anyway, first, three beeps. That's the driveway. Then the motion lights turn on. Eh, we've got wildlife, no biggie. Then BOOOOM! Something is banging on my garage door or the garbage sheds. Then BAM! Someone or something is at the outside double doors leading to the garage storage room.

Now the back alarm buzzes and the lights snap on. BURGLAR! Stupid maggot picked the wrong house. More noises from the back of the house. Noise from the back slider.

AARRRRARRARARARGH! .45 and tac light in hand, it's time to welcome my little friend. I scout downstairs, nothing in the house. Open the door to the garage and the lights turn on from the motion. Just cars, still noises outside. Crack the door from the garage to the storage room and turn on the light. This is visible outside, should get a sane person to leaving. Still, noise and banging on the door. I turn off all the inside lights and yell, "GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR! NOW!".

No more noise. Leave, shutting and relocking all doors behind me. Ask my wife if anyone left back down the driveway. She says, "No."

Still some noise around back. So out the front door I go, skirt the corner wide, ghost outside the spotlights after checking for vehicles on the road and neighbors driveway.

Now I put a tree between me and the garage and lean left with the pistol and tac light ready to go. Double check, yes, the safety is off. Can't chuck angryolized Federal HydroShok 235 grain maggot seeking bullets with the safety on.

Motion on the corner, just out of sight, but enough noise to let me know my 'friend' is there. I'm too far out for an adversary to grab me and in a position of surprise, in the dark.

Go time! Crouch and side step quickly to the left, towards the next tree and hit the tac light. I've blinded a large black dog as it stepped towards me, growling.

"GRGRAAAARGH!", I yell and the thing stops, turns and runs blindly into the woods on the side of my driveway, hitting the side of it's head on a small tree and continues on at lightspeed into the darkness. Lucky for the dog it didn't take a second step towards me. :mad:

This dog has been out at night before (I've seen him) setting off my alarms but always just traveled through. There are at least 4 big black labs in the neighborhood that I know of.

Apparently this dog was after my cat this time, and was hell bent on getting into the store room where he stays in cold weather. I go back inside cursing the dog and it's idiot owner. :mad:

Next day, I check outside and find extremely large dog prints in the snow around the little sheds holding the garbage pails, and blood on the door of the shed. The back double doors have paw prints on them by the door knob, and scratch marks all around the bottom. It also has some nails sticking out from the weather stripping where the builder tacked it back on after repairs. Explains the blood on the shed door.

I'm off to the sporting goods store tomorrow to buy a fully automatic 6mm soft bb MP5. Multiple .20 oz bb traveling at 475 ft/sec should do the trick. Dog doesn't deserve to die for being a dog, but it WILL learn that my property at 'oh dark hundred' is a painful place to be... :mad: :mad:

Plus, my wife actually agrees I 'need' this new toy after the excitement. She was a pretty angry maggottesse herself.

[ March 14, 2005, 02:26 PM: Message edited by: Snarker ]

[Watson & Crick]

Crikeys, has MasterGoodale's mold infected you maggots with a case of non-turn sending, non-TNT chucking wussiness or somefink? Send me some bitter PBEM turns, MAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTSSS ! :mad: :mad:

[Snarker]

You should have my turn Water Closet.

[Watson & Crick]

Living with you, I'm sure that your wife is angry most of the time :mad: :mad:

Maybe you should arm your cat with a bb mp5.

[Watson & Crick]

Originally posted by Snarker:

You should have my turn Water Closet.

Returned.

[Soddball]

Man, Snarker is a nob jockey. Shootin' a dawg fer doin' what a dog's gotta do.

I reckin he deserves a full playthrough of Alpine Summer with MasterGoodale as his opponent, with 1 turn per month. He should be finished by 2014. :mad:

[Snarker]

I think I tried "Alpine Summer" with Axe. Not our cuppa. Too lng to contact for us short attention span maggots. :mad: :mad: :mad:

And I'm going to thump the dog with the BIG, SOFT bbs. No damage done other than shock and scare factor. I'm a little tired of being woken rudely after 0200 multiple times in one week. Although his owner deserves it more for letting him roam at night, his dog will learn this as a second best solution. :mad:

[Soddball]

Turns out!! :mad: :mad: It's a blue moon, maggots!!! Make the most of it!!! :mad: :mad:

Edited to remove evidence of alcohol.

[Soddball]

Originally posted by Snarker:

I think I tried "Alpine Summer" with Axe. Not our cuppa. Too lng to contact for us short attention span maggots. :mad: :mad: :mad:

And I'm going to thump the dog with the BIG, SOFT bbs. No damage done other than shock and scare factor. I'm a little tired of being woken rudely after 0200 multiple times in one week. Although his owner deserves it more for letting him roam at night, his dog will learn this as a second best solution. :mad:

Leave the dog alone, cat loving ponce!!! :mad: :mad:

New version of Alpine Summer only 9 turns to contact. 130 turns to carnage. Too much for unibrow maggot Wafflers. :mad: :mad:

[imported_mike_the_wino2]

Originally posted by Soddball:

Edited to remove evidence of alcohol.

Not very welll, you left words in the post and alcohol is evident in all your posts.

Wheeeeeee, Internet is fun. Service down at Casa de Vino since Saturday. Methinks today could be the day it all gets straightened out.

[ March 14, 2005, 04:12 PM: Message edited by: mike_the_wino2 ]

[_Axe_]

Turns ho, you bunch of dirty hoes. :mad: :mad:

[Snarker]

Don't you owe me a setup or sumfink, maggatoid? :mad: I don't see a game with you in it in hamburgerer helper.