Watson & Crick Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 Too late Dave...I have assimilated... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 Originally posted by Axe2121: Hmmm, doesn't look like my cup of tea. My God, man! Pratchet rules! His books are the funniest things I've read since Spike Milligan. They're up there with Adam's Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy!!! And you call yourself a well rounded, man of the world?!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: Mace [ June 26, 2004, 05:36 PM: Message edited by: Mace ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted June 27, 2004 Author Share Posted June 27, 2004 The Capriciousness of War or Better Never than Late May 29, 1916 A man with a lantern jaw and thin, hard-set mouth enters the recruiting station in Sudbury, Ontario. Ben Ballentine stands just under five-foot five inches tall with a powerful build, not surprising given the occupation the recruiter scratches on the enlistment papers – lumberjack. He has spent most of his 32 years in the bush on Manitoulin Island, carving out a meager and tough existence. It is where his father Alexander ‘Sandy’ Ballentine settled in the late 1800s. However, Sandy has been dead these 20 long years, so there were no words for his son when he left the island for Sudbury. It is the same place where his older siblings John and Nellie and his younger ones Kate, Alexander, Epherm and Susan were born. It is the same place that drew his uncle David to, before he left to open a dry goods store and run for office in Bruce Mines. It is one of the countless places across Canada where men who would eventually end up in Belgian towns and villages they could not pronounce the names of came from. Considered fit for duty, if not a little old, he was duly packed off, starting with the 227th Battalion, eventually landing in the 102nd Battalion, ‘D’ Company, of the Canadian Expeditionary Force. *** April 9, 1917. A vaguely familiar looking man strides into the recruiting station in Sudbury. Slightly taller than his older brother, Alexander stands five-six, and also has the hard look of a bushman. The examining doctor notes a deep scar on his right foot, no doubt a result of his life in the woods. Alexander follows in his brother’s wake to Europe, only he is in the 58th Company of the Canadian Forestry Corps. He signs his name in a steadier hand than his brother did. *** Nov. 16, 1917 War Diary, the 102nd Battalion, CEF “At 4 p.m. the battalion moved forward by platoons to the front line, relieving the 87th Btn. which fell back to Boathoek leaving one wounded man behind whom we eventually brought out. Relief was completed by 10 p.m. and without casualties, a minor offensive on the left having drawn fire in that direction. After relief, however, a barrage opened and a number of gas shells dropped, causing 4 casualties, 2 killed, 2 wounded. H.Q. was established at Hillside Farm in a pill-box D.17.b.0.8. Disposition of companies from left to right was C.B.A. from D.6.b.75.80 to D.6.d.80.50. The left flank was in touch by means of flying platoons with the R.C.R.’s and the right with the 75th who adjoined the 197th Inf. Btn. ‘D’ Co. was in local support. Nov. 17, 1917 War Diary, the 102nd Battalion, CEF “The morning broke with fog. ‘D’ Co. suffered heavily in local support losing seven men from one shell burst. Heavy enemy fire all morning. A carrying party sent up by the 87th for their wounded man was dispersed with casualties. At 8 p.m. a reconnoitering party from the Suffolks, our relieving battalion, called at H.Q. and was sent forward under Battalion runners. Two hundred yards away from H.Q. the rear end of the party was caught by a shell which killed two, wounded another and inflicted minor injuries on four more….Our casualties: 12 killed, Lt. W.W. wounded, at duty, 21 (other ranks) wounded.” A letter home to Manitowaning, Manitoulin Island from Pte. A.R. Wilkin: Nov. 30, 1917 “Dear Mother and Father – I received your welcome letter and was glad to hear from you. I try to write every week but sometimes it is impossible. But however I am trying to write a few lines to let you know I am enjoying the best of health, hoping you are all the same. That report about Allan Crossley being dead was a false one. He was awful sick but he is here with us now. I suppose you have heard that Ben Ballentine and Leslie Scott were killed on the 17th of November. Ben had just joined the Battalion and that was his first trip in the lines. He asked me to ask Syl to tell Charlie that he was here and well, but I will leave it to him to tell him of his death, if he has not heard of it. I helped to bury him. Ben Ballentine and L Scott were killed by the one shell and Carl Kennedy of Gore Bay was wounded in the wrist……. I will close for this time wishing you a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year. From your loving Son.” Nov. 18, 1917 War Diary, the 102nd Battalion, CEF “Heavy enemy firing all morning. Lt. A.R. Turner being wounded, 4 other ranks being killed and 6 wounded. Relief by the Suffolks commenced at 5 p.m. the men, when relieved, proceeding in small parties to Potijze, where a hot meal was served and rum issued. The 102nd Battalion had the honour of being the last Canadian unit to leave Passchaendaele. *** Feb. 5, 1919 Pte. Alexander Ballentine died this day at Beach Hill Hospital, England. He was buried in Egham, St. Jude’s Cemetery, Surrey. *** That uncle who moved on to Bruce Mines ran his dry goods store, served a term as mayor and had a son, Oak Thornton Ballantyne. Oak had a son, David Arthur. David Arthur had a son, Arthur Lee. Arthur Lee had three sons: Jason Arthur Kenneth, Christopher Lee and Steven Eric. Christopher Lee had a son, Joshua Alexander. Joshua is about to turn nine years old and is the apple of his three-year-old sister’s eye. Her name is Alyssa. [ June 26, 2004, 07:51 PM: Message edited by: Axe2121 ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave H Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Originally posted by Mace: My God, man! Pratchet rules! His books are the funniest things I've read since Spike Milligan. They're up there with Adam's Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy!!! And you call yourself a well rounded, man of the world?!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: MaceCount me with Axe here. I read one of the books and thought it was far too precious. Nothing is less funny to me than a writer very self-consciously being <font size=4>FUNNY</font size=4>. Sort of like, "Wait, I've got yet another zany character to toss into the mix, and wait until you see the hilarity that ensues in the next chapter." He has all of the subtlety and wit of a pratfall or a pie in the face, somewhere below the sophistication of the Three Stooges. No thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave H Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Axe, great story. Will you be publishing this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted June 27, 2004 Author Share Posted June 27, 2004 Originally posted by Dave H: Axe, great story. Will you be publishing this? Thanks. Nope. Just for you guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watson & Crick Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 <font size=4>Axe</font size=4>, interesting story. I noticed that the different spelling of the two last names -Ballentine and Ballantyne-yet related? I'm confused. What happened? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallybob Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 I'm BAAAAACCCKKK! Sorry folks. Watson, I'll deal with a PBEM. Send me a setup,O muse. Yeeha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watson & Crick Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 <font size=4>Wallybob</font size=4>, CMAK or CMBB? Axis or allies? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watson & Crick Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Oh, I forgot :mad: :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted June 27, 2004 Author Share Posted June 27, 2004 Originally posted by Watson & Crick: <font size=4>Axe</font size=4>, interesting story. I noticed that the different spelling of the two last names -Ballentine and Ballantyne-yet related? I'm confused. What happened? I've found five different spellings in my family research. Usually -- in the case of illiterate or semi-literate farmers and tradesmen -- the census taker would spell it phoenetically and that spelling would sometimes take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watson & Crick Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Here is a good one. I went to my dentist last week for a checkup. The assistant peers at the records and says, "You really had a lot of trouble last time you were in here. How do you like your new gold tooth?" Flabbergasted, I retorted, "Er I have all my teeth, thank you!" She looks closer at "my" records and notes, "You look in surprisingly good shape for a 56 year old." She then goes back and gets the right file. She also tells me that there are three of us with the same first and last name. Yet we are not related. See, healthy teeth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 :mad: :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallybob Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Watson. CMAK or CMBB hokay. I'll take the side you don't have. GGGGRRRAARRGGGHHHHH! Turns out to all maggot-lips, puss-spewing, lame-lyric ranting, mold-encrusted, NON-TNT chuckin' fools. It's good to be back, after being the manual labor pool for my Dad for a couple of days. Thanks to my opponents for not being too cranky about my absences! Hey Kitty, do you still have any sort of links to the most amusing Hampstertroopen stuff? I miss the battle histories of the axis and allied rodents of doom. It wert most funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Originally posted by Wallybob: Hey Kitty, do you still have any sort of links to the most amusing Hampstertroopen stuff? I miss the battle histories of the axis and allied rodents of doom. It wert most funny. My site got shut down then it was preserved by this web archive site place thingy. But apparently it's not there in its entirety anymore either. What's left of it is at Internet Web Archive Just a few pictures and stuff. *shrug* *sniffle* :mad: Kitty [ June 26, 2004, 10:07 PM: Message edited by: Kitty ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Kitty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 so cute, so fluffy, so cuddly. One on the left isn't bad either. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallybob Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Ahh, time. That sucks. Kudos for the memories, then. My turns have been out for at least an hour. You are all non-turn sending sheep-snarkers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted June 27, 2004 Author Share Posted June 27, 2004 Groan. The latest "update" of Wartime Command shows -- wait for it -- a lone 25 pdr. opening up on a lone tank. That was almost as good as the 57mm AT gun knocking the turret of a PzIV about 15 feet in the air. Can you say 'stinker?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watson & Crick Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Hey Walleye, You got me spam blocked :mad: What do you have a Yankee spam filter or sumfink?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallybob Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Don't make me open a can of whupass on ya. I'll get this fixed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watson & Crick Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Geez, whatever happened to "Southern Hospitality?" :confused: :confused: :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave H Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Originally posted by Watson & Crick: Hey Walleye, You got me spam blocked :mad: What do you have a Yankee spam filter or sumfink??Yeah, I think wbs came up with a Yankee filter over in the General Forum. I suspect that he, Wallybob, Jim Boggs, and the other Southern boys are using it. Now personally I'm sticking with my Kiwi filter. Mike has fits getting an e-mail through to me. Unfortunately, once in a while he actually gets one through. Then I feel obliged to blow up something of his. Them Humbers blows up real good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallybob Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 It got blowed up by some danged yankees, and bazookas. Just remember, however, that "Gone With the Wind" was a piece of poopoo historically. The Confederates burned Atlanta themselves, to keep military stores from falling into Union hands. BTW, my Great, Great whatever fought with the 79th NY. I guess that makes me a Carpetbagger by proxy. I got the spamblocker thing fixed, but Outlook Express is being stoopid. Turn back as soon as I can get it worked out. In the meantime, drink Beer. Beer is reccomended by 10 out of 10 brewers in this country. Support the economy. BUY BEER. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watson & Crick Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Beer is good. Agavero tequila liquor is better...This stuff is like a fine brandy. Drink it straight...So Smoooooooooooooooooooooooooth. After a couple, you start speaking spanish. At least that is what I think it is. :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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