Keeping the roads free of bears and moose -- it's The Cheery Waffle Thread

[_Axe_]

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[ June 03, 2005, 04:38 AM: Message edited by: _Axe_ ]

[Michael Dorosh]

Space is colder

Than the air in the mountains where I come from

For years I've drifted

Further and further into the unknown

And I wonder, where have you gone?

And I wonder, what have you done?

Nice sig. Same guy who said....

"Revenge is a dish best served cold. It is very cold.....in spaaa-aace...."

???

:mad:

[Watson & Crick]

Keeping the roads free of moose?? Is this what you told your employer what you would do if you got the job? Did you tell them HOW you would do this? Sicko moose humper. :mad:

[Snarker]

I'm back. Don't ask. :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Snarker]

Originally posted by Watson & Crick:

Keeping the roads free of moose?? Is this what you told your employer what you would do if you got the job? Did you tell them HOW you would do this? Sicko moose humper. :mad:

Axe and a lackey went out to clear the road of moose every day without success.

Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call.

Before long their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him."

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, Axe, in the back, shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself!"

:mad: :mad:

[Dave H]

Originally posted by _Axe_:

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Axe, you incredible nincompoop, I mentioned keeping bears off the road, too. Don't forget the bears.

[Watson & Crick]

Originally posted by Snarker:

Axe and a lackey...

:mad: :mad:

So Axe got Pseudo a summer job?

[_Axe_]

Originally posted by Watson & Crick:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Snarker:

Axe and a lackey...

:mad: :mad:

So Axe got Pseudo a summer job? </font>

[_Axe_]

Originally posted by Snarker:

I'm back. Don't ask. :mad: :mad: :mad:

You're back. We don't care. :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Watson & Crick]

Originally posted by _Axe_:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Watson & Crick:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Snarker:

Axe and a lackey...

:mad: :mad:

So Axe got Pseudo a summer job? </font>

[PseudoSimonds]

Originally posted by _Axe_:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Watson & Crick:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Snarker:

Axe and a lackey...

:mad: :mad:

So Axe got Pseudo a summer job? </font>

[Dave H]

<font size=5 font color=gray>Good rainy Friday morning, Cheery Wafflemaggots!!</font>

How about that, the font color matches the sky outside today. If such a thing is possible, it's a good morning to be at work.

Quick PBEM updates: Mace sends turns like MasterGoodale (the maggot). How this guy can manage any game in real time is completely beyond me. A game of tic-tac-toe would probably take him hours to complete.

Moraine Sedai sends turns like Mace (the maggot).

Pseudo is doing a much better job of sending turns. Unfortunately, he has failed to surrender yet and his Canadians are making life miserable for my Germans. Add my own horribly misguided rockets to the carnage and things are not going smoothly at all. I need some rockets to actually fall somewhere near his defenders or this attack isn't going to go very far. GRARRGHRAARGHRRARGH!!! :mad: :mad:

Axe, have you picked up your switch for keeping the local wildlife off the gravel? What all will you have to deal with, bears, moose, musk ox, walruses, passed out <font size=1>penguins</font>?

[imported_mike_the_wino2]

So Ass got hisself a real-honest-to-goodness-gubmint job? Way to go, just when I thought you couldn't be any more useless you reach deep within yourself and pull this one out. You are the #1 maggot.

I'll get back to turns this eve. Been enjoying my evenings outside, BBQ-ing and drinking beers. Good times.

How was you alls Memorial Day weekend? I had a marvy time with some friends from Las Vegas. My buddy Warren discovered the joy losing 3 T-34s in one turn to a Marder....good times, good times. By the end of the weekend, after 3 losses, he really began to hate me. I am so glad I am able to give back to the world.

[_Axe_]

Originally posted by mike_the_wino2:

gubmint job

Back to the wine cellar with you! It's a non-profit organization.

Which means we make all the profit and not a bunch of slack-jawed shareholders. Mwahahahahahaha!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Mace]

Originally posted by Dave H:

Moraine Sedai sends turns like Mace (the maggot).

GHAGHAGHAGH HAGHGAHGAHAGHA GHAGHAGHAGHGAHGAHGAHAG

It's not quantity, it's quality! :mad: :mad:

btw it's nice to know that Lady Moraine has adopted best practice and is striving towards a good benchmark.

*ponders*

Hmmmmmm, I wonder how we can balance scorecard PBEM turns?

[_Axe_]

Originally posted by Mace:

btw it's nice to know that Lady Moraine has adopted best practice and is striving towards a good benchmark.

Only if she's striving to be the best drunk and rebrobate she can possibly be. :mad: :mad: :mad:

[_Axe_]

"Let's do this. LLLEEEEEEROYYYYY nnnJJJJJENKINS!!!!" :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[imported_no_one]

Originally posted by _Axe_:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />

rebrobate :mad: :mad: :mad: </font>

[Mace]

Originally posted by _Axe_:

"Let's do this. LLLEEEEEEROYYYYY nnnJJJJJENKINS!!!!" :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Shouldn't you be out changing Mrs McGillicuddy's fanbelt? :mad:

[_Axe_]

Originally posted by no_one:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by _Axe_:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />

rebrobate :mad: :mad: :mad: </font>

[_Axe_]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by _Axe_:

"Let's do this. LLLEEEEEEROYYYYY nnnJJJJJENKINS!!!!" :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Shouldn't you be out changing Mrs McGillicuddy's fanbelt? :mad: </font>

[_Axe_]

AGGRA GRGARGRAGARGAR GRAGGRAGRAGR!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Slather it up with molten TNT!!! :mad: :mad:

[_Axe_]

The message

Broken glass everywhere

People pissing on the stairs, you know they just

Don’t care

I can’t take the smell, I can’t take the noise

Got no money to move out, I guess I got no choice

Rats in the front room, roaches in the back

Junkie’s in the alley with a baseball bat

I tried to get away, but I couldn’t get far

Cause the man with the tow-truck repossessed my car

Chorus:

Don’t push me, cause I’m close to the edge

I’m trying not to loose my head

It’s like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder

How I keep from going under

Standing on the front stoop, hangin’ out the window

Watching all the cars go by, roaring as the breezes

Blow

Crazy lady, livin’ in a bag

Eating out of garbage piles, used to be a fag-hag

Search and test a tango, skips the life and then go

To search a prince to see the last of senses

Down at the peepshow, watching all the creeps

So she can tell the stories to the girls back home

She went to the city and got so so so ditty

She had to get a pimp, she couldn’t make it on her

Own

Chorus:

It’s like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder

How I keep from goin’ under

My brother’s doing fast on my mother’s t.v.

Says she watches to much, is just not healthy

All my children in the daytime, dallas at night

Can’t even see the game or the sugar ray fight

Bill collectors they ring my phone

And scare my wife when I’m not home

Got a bum education, double-digit inflation

Can’t take the train to the job, there’s a strike

At the station

Me on king kong standin’ on my back

Can’t stop to turn around, broke my sacroiliac

Midrange, migraine, cancered membrane

Sometimes I think I’m going insane, I swear I might

Hijack a plane!

Chorus:

My son said daddy I don’t wanna go to school

Cause the teacher’s a jerk, he must think I’m a

Fool

And all the kids smoke reefer, I think it’d be

Cheaper

If I just got a job, learned to be a street sweeper

I dance to the beat, shuffle my feet

Wear a shirt and tie and run with the creeps

Cause it’s all about money, ain’t a damn thing

Funny

You got to have a con in this land of milk and

Honey

They push that girl in front of a train

Took her to a doctor, sowed the arm on again

Stabbed that man, right in his heart

Gave him a transplant before a brand new start

I can’t walk through the park, cause it’s crazy

After the dark

Keep my hand on the gun, cause they got me on the

Run

I feel like an outlaw, broke my last fast jaw

Hear them say you want some more, livin’ on a

Seesaw

Chorus:

A child was born, with no state of mind

Blind to the ways of mankind

God is smiling on you but he’s frowning too

Cause only God knows what you go through

You grow in the ghetto, living second rate

And your eyes will sing a song of deep hate

The places you play and where you stay

Looks like one great big alley way

You’ll admire all the number book takers

Thugs, pimps, pushers and the big money makers

Driving big cars, spending twenties and tens

And you wanna grow up to be just like them

Smugglers, scrambles, burglars, gamblers

Pickpockets, peddlers and even pan-handlers

You say I’m cool, I’m no fool

But then you wind up dropping out of high school

Now you’re unemployed, all null ’n’ void

Walking around like you’re pretty boy floyd

Turned stickup kid, look what you done did

Got send up for a eight year bid

Now your man is took and you’re a may tag

Spend the next two years as an undercover fag

Being used and abused, and served like hell

Till one day you was find hung dead in a cell

It was plain to see that your life was lost

You was cold and your body swung back and forth

But now your eyes sing the sad sad song

Of how you lived so fast and died so young

[Mace]

Originally posted by _Axe_:

Wanna job?

Does it allow me to remove the wallets from each and every client, removing wads of cash then discarding the empty shell with a flick of my wrist while casting glares of contempt?

Do I get to see the look of dismay on their faces as they realise that they would get more value if they simply threw their money in the bin?

Will they whimper and cower as I slap and kick them, shouting 'Clear the way, you scum! I'm on her Majesty's business'?

No, I think not. I'll stick to being a Public and not-so-Civil Servant. :mad:

[_Axe_]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by _Axe_:

Wanna job?

Does it allow me to remove the wallets from each and every client, removing wads of cash then discarding the empty shell with a flick of my wrist while casting a glare of contempt?

Do I get to see the look of dismay on their faces as they realise that they would get more value if they simply threw their money in the bin?

Will they whimper and cower as I slap and kick them, while shouting 'Clear the way, you scum! I'm on her Majesty's business'?</font>