The Boy With The Thorn In His Side, The Peng Thread Has Been Challenged

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

And oh by the way, before the handful of lackwits to whom I have owed turns for the last few months rear up on your hind legs and start crowing at me, sod off. I was busy. So there.

Come on. It doesn't take months to tie your shoes, does it? Well, maybe so.

Plus those of you who have failed to completely pickle your brains in rubbing alcohol (so Boo, SomeNachos, and Lard can just excuse themselves) may recall that I'm the world's laziest S.O.B. Before I can complete any CM turns I have to reconnect my CD-ROM drive. Don't ask why it's not connected. I don't remember anymore.

You know, there are times when I think your stupidity can't possibly reach new heights, but then you go and surprise me. Well done, you unbelievably vapid seller of mobile homes.

To the rest of you that I've had dealings with before, I wash my hands of you (Ladies of the pool excepted, of course). To the current batch of SSN's, I wash my hands of you. To Joe, once my former Liege and Lord, I'd wash my hands of you if I thought it would do any good.

Actually I'd hoped that given Joe's age, he'd have been put out to pasture by now. Clearly Joe has entered into some sort of pact with Satan. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

To the SSN's, a word of advice, make all the pacts with Satan you like, just try to avoid pacts with BeerGutLickGin. I hear the price is HIGH. On second thought, go right ahead. I've a mind to order up this newfangled CM:AK thingie, and I'd appreciate a bit of rank thinning prior to the return of the vaunted Panzer Armee Khann. Too many SSN's in the field clogs up my tank treads.

Papa

You've a mind???? I hardly think so. I've gotten E-mails from you that look as if they were typed by a home-schooled Luddite who the neighborhood pinheads teased because of his all-encompassing quarter-wittedness.

P.S.

Question. If I've missed hating you all so very, very much, does that mean I like you?

No. So shut up, reconnect your CD-ROM and send me a freakin' move, you grinning mid-western rube!

Oh, and by the way, what prompted you to post now? Finally find your computer under that vast, stinking pile of dirty underwear and empty cans of Hormel chili that make up 90% of the furnishings in that slit latrine you call a home?

[Lars]

Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Lars:

Just asking because it seems you've forgotten how e-mail works.

No, its just that I have lost the age-old PBEM files. Can I interest you in something new? A CMAK operation perchance? "The Omars" 3 battles with 30+ turns of sand&dust-fun? You pick sides. </font>

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

The usual tripe, and....

You've a mind????

Ahhhhhh. I wake up one morning after being away from the MBT for months and realize that the world continues to turn, the birds continue to sing, and if I drop a chunk of reeking bait in front of Boo, he'll snap it up with those rubbery fish lips of his in two seconds flat. Which proves once again that while the rest of mankind continues to evolve, Boo is still stuck in Akron.

And so there Boo lurks, cappering about in his little cave, accussing others of being Midwestern rubes and at the first opportunity wrapping that protruding jaw of his around such an obvious lure. Yes, I chose that wording just to draw you out Boo-Boo. Yes, you specifically.

And now that I have you out in the open, no doubt shielding your eyes from the sunlight, I expose you for the predictable simpleton that you are, Boo. And I challenge you to a game of CM:AK.

Pay no attention to the fact that I do not have the game yet. Pay no attention to the fact that even if I did, I couldn't install it because my CD-ROM drive still isn't reconnected. (There's wires and stuff in that box and every time I muck about in there I seem to end up with a different result. And never quite the one I was hoping for either.)

But nevertheless, some day the day will come when I'll have CM:AK and it will be installed on my computer and on that day, Boo, I'm going to administer a righteous *ss whupping unto you. You peachy little monkey.

Papa

PS

And let's try to keep it straight. I'm an aspiring mobile home salesman.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund:

Can I interest you in something new? A CMAK operation perchance?

See? Here he is again, flaunting his ownership of CMAK in our faces.

"Neener, neener, neener. I'm a big Swedish fancy-boy and I can play CMAK whenever I want to! It's not enough that he's started TWO threads that state (about as unsubtly as possible), "THHHHPPPPT! In your face, everybody who's not me!"

Is it any wonder that all the cool European countries smirk behind their hands at Sweden?

You know they're all sexually repressed, don't you?

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

Ahhhhhh. I wake up one morning...

...covered in my own vomit, wearing nothing more than pasties and wingtips and realize it's just another typical day in the life of Papa Kahn, Mental Midget of Minneapolis.

And now that I have you out in the open, no doubt shielding your eyes from the sunlight, I expose you for the predictable simpleton that you are, Boo. And I challenge you to a game of CM:AK.

Oh, that's good! And if you send turns with the same lightning-like alacrity that you showed with CMBB, we'll still be playing our first game when BFC comes out with "Combat Mission: Afganistan to Iraq"

This is me not holding my breath.

Pay no attention to the fact that I do not have the game yet. Pay no attention to the fact that even if I did, I couldn't install it because my CD-ROM drive still isn't reconnected. (There's wires and stuff in that box and every time I muck about in there I seem to end up with a different result. And never quite the one I was hoping for either.)

Whatever gave you the idea that I EVER paid attention to you???

But nevertheless, some day the day will come when I'll have CM:AK and it will be installed on my computer and on that day, Boo, I'm going to administer a righteous *ss whupping unto you. You peachy little monkey.

Papa

I have bigger fears of the eventual heat-death of the universe than I do of you putting your Coleco-Vision back together again and loading CMAK on it.

PS

And let's try to keep it straight. I'm an aspiring mobile home salesman.

Which is just about par with being an aspiring axolotl, isn't it?

[Seanachai]

What's been happening? I've been detained.

Hey, Papa Khann, they really have fond memories of you at the Hennepin County Workhouse. Your name really opened doors.

Pity they immediately closed and locked them again.

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

What's been happening? I've been detained.

Hey, Papa Khann, they really have fond memories of you at the Hennepin County Workhouse. Your name really opened doors.

Pity they immediately closed and locked them again.

SomeNachos! You old pants puller. I'm glad to hear that you've been off the street for awhile. Nice to see my tax dollars put to intelligent use for a change.

If I recall correctly, the last time you heard from me I was hollering and screaming something incoherent into your answering machine. I honestly don't remember what all that was about. Whatever it was, I'm sure I had good reason. And if I didn't, then I blame dalem.

Papa

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

Which is just about par with being an aspiring axolotl, isn't it?

What? Me, cold-blooded? Why I assure you, Boo, nothing could be further from the truth.

Truly, if I were to find myself responsible for securing you lodging, I would insist on placing you in the most expensive hovel a git such as yourself could afford. But, Boo, it would be for your own good.

It's always for their own good. Why can't they ever understand that?

Papa

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

If I recall correctly, the last time you heard from me I was hollering and screaming something incoherent into your answering machine. I honestly don't remember what all that was about. Whatever it was, I'm sure I had good reason. And if I didn't, then I blame dalem.

Papa

You were actually hollering and screaming something incoherent about Dalem, in fact.

It was hard to make out. There wasn't enough there, though, to send the police over to Dalem's house, so I just watched the news later for stories about 'drunken argument results in slaying'.

[Hortlund]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

See? Here he is again, flaunting his ownership of CMAK in our faces.

Boo Boo Boo I am terribly sorry to have upset you in your wait for The Game of Games (aka CMAK). It was really not my intention to rub it in. But let me just say that I have, in my hand, this very second my...oops...hrm...one sec...

...there.

That I have in my hand a copy of CMAK. While you and all the other Americans only have a tiny demo to play with. ...Or CMBB which is sooo 2002.

Now then, I shall not hold it against you. Instead I'll gladly teach you a lesson or two about the finer aspects of desert warfare. As soon as the game reaches whatever bug infested swamp you call home, send me a setup. Git

Edit to appease the gods of html-coding

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

What's been happening? I've been detained.

Aboot time too!!

I waited, and waited, and waited... I waited so long that the smoked salmon sandwiches curled up and died.. I did think of freezing some but decided that for some reason you must have gone off smoked salmon.

Next time... Stick with the Tuna!

[Moriarty]

Fear not Boo, he won’t be flatulating his CMAK much longer as the pre-orders in US and Canada shipped 2 days early.

[Berlichtingen]

Every time this happens to Seanachai, the same tune keeps goin' through my head...

She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice

She was fair, she was sweet seventeen.

He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice

He was base, he was bad, he was mean.

He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat

To view his collection of stamps,

And he said as he hastened to put out the cat,

The wine, his cigar and the lamps:

Have some madeira, m'dear. You really have nothing to fear.

I'm not trying to tempt you, that wouldn't be right,

You shouldn't drink spirits at this time of night.

Have some madeira, m'dear. It's really much nicer than beer.

I don't care for sherry, one cannot drink stout,

And port is a wine I can well do without...

It's simply a case of chacun a son gout

Have some madeira, m'dear.

Unaware of the wiles of the snake-in-the-grass

And the fate of the maiden who topes,

She lowered her standards by raising her glass,

Her courage, her eyes and his hopes.

She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did!

He promptly refilled it again,

And he said as he secretly carved one more notch

On the butt of his gold-headed cane:

Have some madeira, m'dear,

I've got a small cask of it here.

And once it's been opened, you know it won't keep.

Do finish it up. It will help you to sleep.

Have some madeira, m'dear.

It's really an excellent year.

Now if it were gin, you'd be wrong to say yes

The evil gin does would be hard to assess..

Besides it's inclined to affect me prowess,

Have some madeira, m'dear.

Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said

With her antepenultimate breath,

"Oh my child, should you look on the wine that is red

Be prepared for a fate worse than death!"

She let go her glass with a shrill little cry,

Crash! Tinkle! it fell to the floor;

When he asked, "What in Heaven?" She made no reply,

Up her mind, and a dash for the door.

Have some madeira, m'dear.

Rang out down the hall loud and clear

With a tremulous cry that was filled with despair,

Have some madeira, m'dear.

The words seemed to ring in her ear.

Until the next morning, she woke in her bed

With a smile on her lips and an ache in her head...

And a beard in her lug 'ole that tickled and said:

Have some madeira, m'dear!

--Flanders and Swann

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund:

As soon as the game reaches whatever bug infested swamp you call home, send me a setup. Git

As soon as I get the game, rest assured my little northern nincompoop, I will be so all over you like the cheap suit you wear every Friday night to the weekly "Herring A-Go-Go Fish Bar and Used Saab Dealership".

[Lars]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

What's been happening? I've been detained.

Hey, Papa Khann, they really have fond memories of you at the Hennepin County Workhouse. Your name really opened doors.

Pity they immediately closed and locked them again.

What?!?!

I wrote a check to the Union Gospel Mission for nothing?!?!?

You owe me a turkey dinner old man.

[Patchy]

Originally posted by lenakonrad:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by YK2:

how do you start?

where do you go?

who do you know?

</font>

[Moriarty]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund:

As soon as the game reaches whatever bug infested swamp you call home, send me a setup. Git

As soon as I get the game, rest assured my little northern nincompoop, I will be so all over you like the cheap suit you wear every Friday night to the weekly "Herring A-Go-Go Fish Bar and Used Saab Dealership". </font>

[Guest Mike]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

It doesn't take months to tie your shoes, does it?

no doubt you're surprised he can do it so quickly.

[Jim Boggs]

Originally posted by Persephone:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by lenakonrad:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by YK2:

how do you start?

where do you go?

who do you know?

</font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Mike:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley:

It doesn't take months to tie your shoes, does it?

no doubt you're surprised he can do it so quickly. </font>

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund:

That I have in my hand a copy of CMAK. While you and all the other Americans only have a tiny demo to play with. ...Or CMBB which is sooo 2002.

Care to rephrase that, boy-o?

[Moriarty]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund:

That I have in my hand a copy of CMAK. While you and all the other Americans only have a tiny demo to play with. ...Or CMBB which is sooo 2002.

Care to rephrase that, boy-o? </font>

[Kitty]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MrSpkr:

but FOW isn't that important to me. We could play with FOW off if it bothers you.

Steve

How quaint! Fog of War. If you want a real gaming experience you should try:

FOAB!!!

When I have played dalem, we used:

Fog of A Bong

</font>

[Mace]

Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund:

It was really not my intention to rub it in. But let me just say that I have, in my hand, this very second my...oops...hrm...one sec...

That I have in my hand a copy of CMAK. While you and all the other Americans only have a tiny demo to play with. ...Or CMBB which is sooo 2002.

Oh a bit of size comparison happening huh?

Hmmm.

Let's see.

Rune, Berli and I have had CMAK for a few months now and we also get our names in the manual!!!

Yep, Ours is bigger.

Mace

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Kitty:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MrSpkr:

but FOW isn't that important to me. We could play with FOW off if it bothers you.

Steve

How quaint! Fog of War. If you want a real gaming experience you should try:

FOAB!!!

When I have played dalem, we used:

Fog of A Bong

</font>