We Don't Need No Stinking Messiah's In the Peng Challenge Thread

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Sir 37mm:

(hey maybe I AM French)

And maybe I AM Mary Queen of Scots!

*adjusts neck brace*

[Mace]

martyrdom hey?

Hmmmm, lesssee, can't have martyrdom without a bit of pain and suffering.

Perhaps a large cross? Nah been done.

Guillotine? Nah.

Gallows? Old hat.

I know, something relevant to today's society - how about we string him, and his supporters (hey Boo?), by rope between two cars and rip him apart.

Oh, and we need to adorn him with birthday candles so Emma can make a wish...before we rip him apart.

Mace

[37mm]

Originally posted by Mace:

I know, something relevant to today's society - how about we string him, and his supporters (hey Boo?), by rope between two cars and rip him apart.

Oh, and we need to adorn him with birthday candles so Emma can make a wish...before we rip him apart.

He's sold me

[Mace]

Originally posted by Sir 37mm:

He's sold me

Yes, marketing the 'ripping of martyrs' apart is my specialty.

*presents card*

Mace

[37mm]

Originally posted by Mace:

Yes, marketing the 'ripping of martyrs' apart is my specialty.

*presents card*

*looks at card*

It's a beer mat?

[Moraine Sedai]

Originally posted by Sir 37mm:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace:

Yes, marketing the 'ripping of martyrs' apart is my specialty.

*presents card*

*looks at card*

It's a beer mat? </font>

[rleete]

Originally posted by Moraine "I got da powah" Sedai:

Mace: Hey. He's cheap AND easy...what can we say?

Aussie. That way, you've said cheap, easy, probably drunk, and in need of being hosed off.

I'm feeling generous, so we'll leave out the parts about impure thoughts regarding farm animals and the criminal lineage.

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Mace:

I know, something relevant to today's society - how about we string him, and his supporters (hey Boo?), by rope between two cars and rip him apart.

I think the old Chinese way was more elegant. Attach each of his limbs to an ox and drive them off to the four points of the compass. They might have to strain for a couple of minutes to finally rend him into pieces, but that's all to the good, hey? More time for him to scream in agony and terror.

Michael

[Mace]

Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

I think the old Chinese way was more elegant. Attach each of his limbs to an ox and drive them off to the four points of the compass. They might have to strain for a couple of minutes to finally rend him into pieces, but that's all to the good, hey? More time for him to scream in agony and terror.

Would four mopeds do?

Btw I'm not cheap and easy. Oh wait?! Yes I am!

Mace

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

I think the old Chinese way was more elegant. Attach each of his limbs to an ox and drive them off to the four points of the compass. They might have to strain for a couple of minutes to finally rend him into pieces, but that's all to the good, hey? More time for him to scream in agony and terror.

Would four mopeds do?</font>

[Mace]

Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

Gotta keep 'em coming

You've been reading from a brothel's mission statement again, haven't you?

Mace

[rleete]

In that case, think stocks/pillory. Audience participation, donchaknow. We'll sell the rotten fruit, say a buck a throw? Mix in the occasional rock (jagged, of course) for added impact.

Why just watch when they can be a part of the event?

[Moraine Sedai]

Oh how wonderful! This is going to be the event they will talk about for years to come!

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by rleete:

In that case, think stocks/pillory. Audience participation, donchaknow. We'll sell the rotten fruit, say a buck a throw? Mix in the occasional rock (jagged, of course) for added impact.

Why just watch when they can be a part of the event?

That'll be good for, say, a week long warmup. But the main event has to be him being torn apart by oxen representing the supreme majesty of the law.

Michael

[dalem]

Can't we just shoot him?

[Stuka]

Originally posted by OGSF:

Ats guid tae see ye agin, Lenakonrad! Wailcome back!

Wheres MY welcome back OGSF you lily-livered faux-Scotsman.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by **YK2**:

And maybe I AM Mary Queen of Scots!

Looking in my picture book

You know, I thought she was Mary, Queen of Scots

Seemin' very real to me

Just goes to show how wrong you can be.

I'm going to stop, wasting my time.

Anyone else, would have broken both of her arms.

Sad song

Sad song.

-Lou Reed

Bloody women! They'll rule us all in the end, you know, if we once turn our faces away from psychotic violence, addiction, and outright stupidity.

Fortunately, I know you lot of complete and utter tossers to be made of sterner stuff.

So I can still address you all as one complete gibbering idjit to a whole lot of complete gibbering idjits who are, in fact, so completely gibbering and idiotic that the stupidest thing I've ever said passes as the Wisdom of the Ages amongst you lot of complete and utter tossers, who can't even gibber in a way that doesn't make you look fecking stupid.

So, we stand here, mano a mano.

I always figured I could put on steel toed boots and kick the souls out of most of you buggers without breaking a sweat.

That is, until you began posting...poetry.

stifles a silent sob

During these last few pages, where you've all been posting poetry...

Well, let me just say...I've never been more proud of you all.

Even Nidan, although, posting lame arsed song lyrics by a complete Unter-feminine-hygiene-product like Natalie Merchant is like bragging about the fact that you were really sensitive to the needs of your last girlfriend who was a stripper who used abortion as the only reliable form of birth-control, and who got teary-eyed over the fact that on her daughter's birthday, she didn't do crack at all...

Can't fecking stand Natalie Merchant.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Stuka:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by OGSF:

Ats guid tae see ye agin, Lenakonrad! Wailcome back!

Wheres MY welcome back OGSF you lily-livered faux-Scotsman. </font>

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

...Emrys says something...

Wise fool, who does not fear to say too much, but stupid bastard, who never says enough...

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by dalem:

Give me a call tomorrow Seanachai, you awful person.

It's tomorrow. What do you want, you bastard?

I WILL, by all the gods, redeem you. This may be my greatest work. One day, Dalem, I may make you...human.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by NG cavscout:

Is it cheating if I just skip the songs?

You can always skip the songs. You will be a smaller man for having done so, but you may always skip the songs.

But you skip the poetry at the risk of your immortal soul.

And, frankly, lad, your immortal soul isn't all it could be. It's looking a bit grimy around the edges. A bit tattered. A bit worn.

Poetry rejuvenates the soul, as Song rejuvenates the heart.

But you can give them both a miss, if you wish.

After all, there should be something lying in the lowest possible point of human interaction to soak up the urine.

[Seanachai]

The Jack of Diamonds

slipped between two tens

He said, "Hide me, boys,

till the season ends.

I've been sharecropping

for the Ace, King, Queen

and toward the end

the game turned mean.

The one game in town

and I'm bound to lose

And I just can't shake these gambler's blues

Miss Downtown

got her hair all wet

She got caught by the storm

Now she's so upset

She dries herself

by the kitchen sink

as she quietly counts up

everyone's drinks

And she can't control

and she can't refuse

This one last shelter from the gambler's blues

Ah, the gambler's blues

coming round the curve

Leave you with nothing

but your broken nerve

You listen to the fire

as you shovel in the coal

Stick you head out the window

See the drive wheels roll

St. Louis knows

that he can't survive

with a broken horn

and a Rico 5

Still he walks this bar

with his head held high

And he honks and hollers

till the well runs dry

And the Jack of Diamonds

had to give him the news

There ain't now good notes in the gambler's blues

Then smoke fills the room

cause the wood's too green

That's what you get when you buy

from the Ace, King, Queen

And there's not much light

There's not much heat

But you learn to like

how it smells so sweet

And when you count your change here

you count by twos

But you'll never buy off these gambler's blues

Ah, the gambler's blues

coming round the curve

Leave you with nothing

but your broken nerve

You listen to the fire

as you shovel in the coal

Stick you head out the window

See the drive wheels roll

Jack of Diamonds jumps out from the Tens

He says we'll never know

how this story ends

But you can tell old Bill

when he comes home

That the Ace, King, Queen

took Miss Downtown home

And left him with nothing

but her old tattoos

and a road map of these gambler's blues

Gambler's Blues

-Bill Morrissey

[ March 26, 2005, 12:05 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Can't fecking stand Natalie Merchant.

Do you dislike her more than VT artillery, Oh Story Teller ? Well good then, I'll dedicate this little diddy to you...hope you hate it!!! You can sing along as my GI's crush your hapless Krauts into meal.

It's a Saturday afternoon romance

between a cowboy and a fool

a drunken meet up

in a crude saloon

a poor Rocky Mountain town

he's a scoundrel and

she's no pearl

together they are two lovers cruel

got her balanced on his knee

he knows exactly what to say

"you ain't been born

til you get out of town

and honey,

you might come with me"

"if you do...

spare the innocent ones

I'll take you with me

together we will be drifters free"

got her tangled in his arm

she's a lusting, trusting fool

"no man born can rule me

that I've sworn

but stranger if you do

I'll belong to you"

"if you do...

would you spare the innocent ones

would you take me with you?

can you love the land

and love me too?"

as he grows sober

sees his love anew

in morning light so true

he gets on the move

on the move

[**YK2**]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Bloody women! They'll rule us all in the end, you know...

Hah!! Such sweet poetry to my ears.... *waggle*

Originally posted by Seanachai:

During these last few pages, where you've all been posting poetry...

John Keats (1795-1821)

Fancy

Ever let the Fancy roam,

Pleasure never is at home:

At a touch sweet Pleasure melteth,

Like to bubbles when rain pelteth;

Then let winged Fancy wander

Through the thought still spread beyond her:

Open wide the mind's cage-door,

She'll dart forth, and cloudward soar.

O sweet Fancy! let her loose;

Summer's joys are spoilt by use,

And the enjoying of the Spring

Fades as does its blossoming;

Autumn's red-lipp'd fruitage too,

Blushing through the mist and dew,

Cloys with tasting: What do then?

Sit thee by the ingle, when

The sear faggot blazes bright,

Spirit of a winter's night;

When the soundless earth is muffled,

And the caked snow is shuffled

From the ploughboy's heavy shoon;

When the Night doth meet the Noon

In a dark conspiracy

To banish Even from her sky.

Sit thee there, and send abroad,

With a mind self-overaw'd,

Fancy, high-commission'd:--send her!

She has vassals to attend her:

She will bring, in spite of frost,

Beauties that the earth hath lost;

She will bring thee, all together,

All delights of summer weather;

All the buds and bells of May,

From dewy sward or thorny spray;

All the heaped Autumn's wealth,

With a still, mysterious stealth:

She will mix these pleasures up

Like three fit wines in a cup,

And thou shalt quaff it:--thou shalt hear

Distant harvest-carols clear;

Rustle of the reaped corn;

Sweet birds antheming the morn:

And, in the same moment, hark!

'Tis the early April lark,

Or the rooks, with busy caw,

Foraging for sticks and straw.

Thou shalt, at one glance, behold

The daisy and the marigold;

White-plum'd lillies, and the first

Hedge-grown primrose that hath burst;

Shaded hyacinth, alway

Sapphire queen of the mid-May;

And every leaf, and every flower

Pearled with the self-same shower.

Thou shalt see the field-mouse peep

Meagre from its celled sleep;

And the snake all winter-thin

Cast on sunny bank its skin;

Freckled nest-eggs thou shalt see

Hatching in the hawthorn-tree,

When the hen-bird's wing doth rest

Quiet on her mossy nest;

Then the hurry and alarm

When the bee-hive casts its swarm;

Acorns ripe down-pattering,

While the autumn breezes sing.

Oh, sweet Fancy! let her loose;

Every thing is spoilt by use:

Where's the cheek that doth not fade,

Too much gaz'd at? Where's the maid

Whose lip mature is ever new?

Where's the eye, however blue,

Doth not weary? Where's the face

One would meet in every place?

Where's the voice, however soft,

One would hear so very oft?

At a touch sweet Pleasure melteth

Like to bubbles when rain pelteth.

Let, then, winged Fancy find

Thee a mistress to thy mind:

Dulcet-ey'd as Ceres' daughter,

Ere the God of Torment taught her

How to frown and how to chide;

With a waist and with a side

White as Hebe's, when her zone

Slipt its golden clasp, and down

Fell her kirtle to her feet,

While she held the goblet sweet

And Jove grew languid.--Break the mesh

Of the Fancy's silken leash;

Quickly break her prison-string

And such joys as these she'll bring.--

Let the winged Fancy roam,

Pleasure never is at home.

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Can't fecking stand Natalie Merchant.

Really? Who could have guessed...

Michael