My my, at Waterloo Peng did challenge

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />

... you're a Serf, grab a bucket lad, the Knights will be up shortly and a full bladder is an uncomfortable thing.

Joe </font>

[Guest konrad]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Just curious.

Joe

Curiosity killed the cat.

Sir Konrad

Faithful Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFF

[Boo Radley]

Unbe-FECKIN-lievable! My squire, the multi-talented, multi-nefarious, multi-linguini Lurker, posts a pulchritudinous painting summing up all that's good and holy about the MBT (Don't tread on me...or if you must, do it lightly) and NO ONE even has the graciousness to OOGLE it??? What are you all? No, don't answer that, I've got a good idea what you all are, and I'll have you know that I'm watching you...but from a safe distance.

Here is a man who through the sweat of his brow and the talent of his ability to manipulate a computer mouse, gives us Lucy Lawlessessess..sss...whatever to gap-toothed gape at and all I hear is silence.

For shame.

Well, I for one shall not allow such largesse to go unrewarded.

Squire Lurker, attend me.

As you have faithfully served House Morse/Croda and it's resident knight (that's moi, for you thickies out there) for several months. Have mucked out stables, emptied chamber pots, blessed us with babalicious babes on occasion, put out the clock and wound the cat with great elan, played SEVERAL DOZEN battles with other Pooligans of all shapes and sizes, done the grocery shopping, toted that barge and lifted that bale, washed that man right out of your hair, I, by the power vested in me by the Akron Institute for the Chronically Rude and the Ohio Home For Homeless Cats and Tonsil Wash Emporium, hereby dub thee knight.

Arise, go forth and always remember:

(Aleph) Always carry a litter bag in your car. It doesn't take up a whole lot of room and if it gets full, you can just chuck it out the window.

(Poot) Know what to kiss and when.

(Baguette) Never, ever, ever throw ****e at an armed man.

(Willie Mosconi) Never, ever, EVER stand NEXT to someone who is throwing ****e at an armed man.

<big>Go forth and never darken my towels again!</big>

[Joe Shaw]

Well far be it from little old ME to suggest that ANY squire not be elevated to Knight ... sheesh, some Australians have ZERO sense of humor. .

Therefore I hereby acknowledge that Squire Lurker is now and shall henceforth be known as ... Knight of the CessPool, Sir Lurker ... and may Gawd have mercy on OUR souls.

Joe

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Well far be it from little old ME to suggest that ANY squire not be elevated to Knight ... sheesh, some Australians have ZERO sense of humor. .

Therefore I hereby acknowledge that Squire Lurker is now and shall henceforth be known as ... Knight of the CessPool, Sir Lurker ... and may Gawd have mercy on OUR souls.

Joe

While you are in such a magnanimous mood Herr Justicar what about my request to take one loser sGTGoody to Squire. No one else has claimed him (no surprise there), he has had the good sense to keep a low profile while contemplating the great responsibilities of his new post. He has also had the good sense to allow me to vicously whip him in our current battle. rather he recognizes my superior tactical abilities. Most important of all he is absolutely fluent in English, and some of his posts are slightly amusing, he has potential. Step forward Goody, your name is being called.

[Jim Boggs]

The din of angry Serf voices carried into the night. A recurring theme could be discerned:

"Boggs, you dumbass"

"Boggs, you IDIOT"

"Boggs, what were you THINKING"

Then a deeper voice spoke and all became silent, the Old Serf.

"Boggs, you have pissed off the Justicar and for that affront WE will ALL pay dearly".

"But old one, I was concerned for his hygiene!"

At this the gathering erupted into tumultuous laughter. After several minutes, the Old Serf held up his hand, and once again, silence.

"The Justicar is the Drain Commissioner of the Cess Pool He has absolutely no thoughts about hygiene. All this time he's hosing the floor, he doesn't even know it. He even complimented Fluffy on how clean he was keeping The Bucket . Now he knows the TRUTH and he is VERY UPSET with you Boggs."

"Why is he so cranky with everybody? I was just trying to help." Boggs pleaded his case.

The Old Serf glanced to each side, as if afraid. Looking Boggs straight in the eye he spoke very softly,

"He's...a...BANKER!"

[Gaylord Focker]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

What i've learned today is that Gaylord Focker is a supreme tactician, i've run out of options so i'll just hope he forgets i owe him next turn

Well once again your calculations are off Ni did'nt do it 1.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

While you are in such a magnanimous mood Herr Justicar what about my request to take one loser sGTGoody to Squire.

sniff...

It just does an old Kanigget's heart good to see my young'uns want to procreate.

<small> Oh, and Joe? About that whole Lurker thing? Many thanks and here's that fiver I promised you.</small>

[Lurkur]

My liege,

Many thanks for your patronage and tutelage. My capacity to annoy, cajole, taunt, and coordinate my wardrobe (thanks for the spats) and harass has increased exponentially. I will do my best to maintain the impossibly high standards of House...er, did we ever land on that one? Morse/Croda/Whatever.

Oh and by the way, it's spelled "Lurkur."

[Seanachai]

I always liked Lurkur...alright, that's a lie, I may be the 'nice one', but I don't like any of you, especially when you're lowly and resemble yapping lap-dogs. However, I hated Lurkur a bit less than many of you.

That was a lovely drawing. If only it was true.

Sorry for the recent delay (again) of turns, and my silences punctuated with irritable bellowing. Damn arm's gone numb again, all pins and needles, and no aparent reason for it. Thought it was getting better. I really hate physical deterioration, especially when it's not up-front and obvious in terms of what it all means.

Off to the Doctor tomorrow...or perhaps the next day, as I have some work tomorrow, and out-of-work Gnomes can't afford to ignore the sniff of a paycheck.

I know, I know, everyone who reads the mention of 'arm going numb' is thinking "heart attack" or something like it, but this has been going on for 10 days. Anything truly serious would have kacked me by now (and at least I'd never have to read another post in which AussieJeff made pretensions at sanity).

As I stand here, poised forever on the brink of...well, 'forever', I have only one request.

I demand that lenakonrad tell us the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about themself. No lies, now. I'm a Gnome on the brink of the eternity. Inquiring Gnomes want to know.

If the being comes clean, and fills us in sufficiently as to its true nature, I say, Joe, let the bugger in.

Oh, and Lars, I got your sodding postcard from Mexico. Let me just say that my Postal Carrier of many years has recently been replaced by an aging, white-haired older woman who looks like everyone's ideal of an attentive pre-school teacher.

You're going to hell, Lars, and when you get there, I'm going to be your supervisor. She doesn't even knock on the door, anymore, when she has a package for me. She flings it in from the porch, after making the sign of the cross and fleeing. I know this, because I just got a package from Boo. But my friend who has access to Airport Security equipment is out of town until Friday, so I don't know what it is.

Thank the gods that Boo, at least, uses an anonymous padded envelope...

[ March 19, 2003, 11:51 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

I demand that lenakonrad tell us the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about themself. No lies, now. I'm a Gnome on the brink of the eternity. Inquiring Gnomes want to know.

If the being comes clean, and fills us in sufficiently as to its true nature, I say, Joe, let the bugger in.

I never thought I'd see a bigoted UberGnome, but, well, these are trying times and the mental will of some appears to have willted entirely.

I am privy to much personal information about SIR KONRAD via e-mails and numerous chat sessions... but I am an honorable man AND NOT ABOUT TO SHARE IT WITHOUT HIS CONSENT AMONGST A BUNCH OF LABEL CHUCKING, BIGOTED BLOWHARDS.

You disgust me.

So, go on then, see if YOU can guess where the "LENA" part of his forum name comes from ... SURPRISE ME WITH YOU POWERS OF DEDUCTION MAN!

I'm on the very verge of dumping this joke of a thread now you are starting to show your true BIGOTED colours. Seems there's one rule for white fluent english types and a completely mistrusting set of rules for those who are "foreign" and not fluent with english, which I couldn't give a rats arse about - unlike some.

Oh, did I mention <BIG>I HATE EFFING BIGOTRY???

Surprise me or I'm outta here.

[Hortlund]

The Last Crusade

Chapter 1

A long time ago, the proud people of Rome had conquered all of the civilized world. Through numerous wars and conflicts the legions had secured the Pax Romana, the peace of Rome. At this time, the eldest knew about an old country far north of the mighty Rome. This county could be found beyond the wild dangerous forests of the Germanic tribes, and across an ocean of water that was neither salt nor sweet. A country as beautiful and sweet in the summers, as unforgiving and harsh in the winters. Some say it was these two opposites that had shaped the people living there. From the warmth of the summer they became happy and peaceful, from the cold of the winters they became hard and unyielding. This combination led to them being equally proficient in the way of war as the way of the trader, and no fear would live in their chest.

No king could force his rule on this people, instead they chose their king from amongst their own ranks. This king would only stay in power for as long as he was accepted by his people though, for if he was found to be a weakling or a tyrant, the people would soon replace him. For centuries this country lived in peace, and the people thought themselves to be the luckiest people in the world. Protected by mighty forests and cold oceans they were safe from intruders. Their country was generous to them, giving them rich harvests and plenty of game. The mighty forests and mountains gave them enough resources to live a rich life. The oceans and rivers provided food and transport. Soon however, they became restless. Constantly taking their small ships further and further out from land, their curiosity driving them to expand their horizons.

As the might of the Roman Empire declined the people in our country discovered new ways to travel across the oceans. Fast agile ships were built, ships that could carry men far across the cold unforgiving waves. Soon they would discover new lands to settle, and new routs of trade. While their neighbors in the west and south would wage wars of rape and pillage, our people sought the peaceful way of trade and exploration. Their reputation grew as they came into contact with other great countries, and they were met with respect and fear.

In other news today...

GAMEY UPDATES

Vadr has just been taught a valuable lesson on the folly of using T-34s to attack ÜberKingTigers from the front. Try again little one.

Nidan1 is trying to control his Waffengrenadierübertruppen against my disorganised peasantpixelsoviets in the Kharkov Operation. As the first battle draws to a close, Nidan1 has learned some basic rules of warfare such as dont run in the streets when there are Maxim MGs around and Open ground can be your enemy if you try to run across it while others are shooting at you I am happy to report that even though he has several battalions of Überinfantry my outnumbered and unfit peasantpixels have prevented him from gaining a foothold in the outskirts of the city.

SgtGoodey (Not bolded because I cant remember what the he** you are...seft I think..not that I care) has finally ...after a mere 30 turns gotten his act together and is in the process of attacking my defensive positions in a vicious 1941 German assault QB. Little does he know one of his attacking units is heading straight into a minefield, and the other is heading straight into...uh..well..nothing right now, but I'm furiously regrouping my brave peasants to stop him cold.

Lars after suffering a heroic defeat against my unfortunate Italians in Sapristi, he has decided to make things even now. In an incredibly gamey move, he picked the German side in Tiger Tiger. Rumor has it there are some übertanks present in that battle, but I have refused to pass that information on to my troops as it would probably affect their morale. Meanwhile my few scattered T-60s and T-34s take up defensive positions.

Rat (nb because I have no idea what his position is) is desperately trying to defend a small port against my mighty battleships. For several turns I have been positioning my ships into a great, magnificent line and I have just began unleashing broadside after broadside upon his pathetic rowboats.

Malakovski (bolded just in case) is attempting to defend a rubbled Soviet village in the middle of the winter. My freezing übertruppen are advancing slowly but steadily through the snow. Show your face you dirty peasants! He is probably hiding in some remote corner of the map in shame...remembering my crushing victory over him in our Rumanian-Hungarian QB where I led my conscript Rumanians into a stunning victory over his rabble.

Snarker MUAHHAHAHAHA I really dont know what to say. In a 1944 QB between my hopelessly outnumbered pixeltruppen...desperately trying to defend a small hill... he has managed to lead his forces into not one, not two, not three, but four cleverly set ambushes. While I have lost about a platoon of infantry, he has lost 3 T-34s, at least a company of infantry, his pride and his (faked) self esteem.

[ March 20, 2003, 03:58 AM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

[SgtMuhammed]

Here I stand, no here, under the air freshener (boy we could use a new one of these). Tis a joyous day amid that uncertainty we call "Real Life."

I declare my loyalty to Sir Nidan1 and pledge my sword to his service.

For those who may doubt my worthiness I proclaim the following:

vs my liege I am suffering ignominious defeat as is, of course, proper.

vs Sir lenakonrad the mere thought of facing me in actual combat has frozen his men into inaction. Turn 30 of 40 and still no contact. As he has not returned a turn in over a week I can only conclude that this is rather informal methode of surrender.

vs Sir Hortlund His limited tactical sense has led him to believe that the human wave is the only way to attack. I can see his pitiful forces desperately trying to reposition themselves just so they can be crushed beneath the treads of my Panzers.

vs Sir Aussie Jeff out of respect for both his position and his failing mental capacities I have agreed to play the monstrosity he calls an operation, and I am still defeating him handily. I suspect though that being beaten in a scenario of your own creation is more a form of self abuse than anything else.

vs Javaslinger we find yet another who believes that Napoleonic rules still apply and are baffled by such novel concepts as "covered avenues of approach" and "proper use of terrain."

Of course my battles against those of the outerboards are all glorious victories in the name of the pool.

Long live the Pool!

[ March 20, 2003, 08:37 AM: Message edited by: sgtgoody ]

[Patchy]

Originally posted by AUSSIEJEFF:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

I demand that lenakonrad tell us the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about themself. No lies, now. I'm a Gnome on the brink of the eternity. Inquiring Gnomes want to know.

If the being comes clean, and fills us in sufficiently as to its true nature, I say, Joe, let the bugger in.

I never thought I'd see a bigoted UberGnome, but, well, these are trying times and the mental will of some appears to have willted entirely.

I am privy to much personal information about SIR KONRAD via e-mails and numerous chat sessions... but I am an honorable man AND NOT ABOUT TO SHARE IT WITHOUT HIS CONSENT AMONGST A BUNCH OF LABEL CHUCKING, BIGOTED BLOWHARDS.

You disgust me.

So, go on then, see if YOU can guess where the "LENA" part of his forum name comes from ... SURPRISE ME WITH YOU POWERS OF DEDUCTION MAN!

I'm on the very verge of dumping this joke of a thread now you are starting to show your true BIGOTED colours. Seems there's one rule for white fluent english types and a completely mistrusting set of rules for those who are "foreign" and not fluent with english, which I couldn't give a rats arse about - unlike some.

Oh, did I mention <BIG>I HATE EFFING BIGOTRY???

Surprise me or I'm outta here. </font>

[Guest konrad]

Originally posted by sGTGoody:

vs Sir lenakonrad the mere thought of facing me in actual combat has frozen his men into inaction. Turn 30 of 40 and still no contact. As he has not returned a turn in over a week I can only conclude that this is rather informal methode of surrender.

Liar.

But I give you another chance...

Send me turn back (and pay more attention in future)

konrad

Faithful Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFF

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by sGTGoody:

I declare my loyalty to Sir Nidan1 and pledge my sword to his service.

Errr... Goody, don't rush into the sword thing, I first have to ensure you won't hurt yourself with it. We now must await The Justicar's procrastin....ah... judgement on this matter. His last few raving posts have caused his sanity to be called into question. We must tread lightly here, all must be above reproach, and in keeping with resolutions established and policed by the MBT Peacekeepers.

[ March 20, 2003, 09:03 AM: Message edited by: Nidan1 ]

[Guest konrad]

Originally posted by Persephone:

]Lena and Konrad are two copper mines in Poland.

Persephone

I'm afraid its coincidence ,but very funny indeed.

Thank you , Persephone.

Sir konrad

Faithful Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFF

[ March 20, 2003, 08:53 AM: Message edited by: lenakonrad ]

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1:

What i've learned today is that Gaylord Focker is a supreme tactician, i've run out of options so i'll just hope he forgets i owe him next turn

Well once again your calculations are off Ni did'nt do it 1. </font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Oh, and Lars, I got your sodding postcard from Mexico. Let me just say that my Postal Carrier of many years has recently been replaced by an aging, white-haired older woman who looks like everyone's ideal of an attentive pre-school teacher.

You're going to hell, Lars.

Was there ever any doubt?

SSN Hint Of The Day: Practice passive aggression.

Now sod off.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Thank the gods that Boo, at least, uses an anonymous padded envelope...

And you have no idea how I apprehensive I was about that too. Knowing of course how much of your mail comes in plain, brown envelopes and such, I was concerned that mine might get lost in the crowd, as it were. I thought of decorating the envelope, but had loaned all my really colorful Crayolas to Aussie Jeff to keep him amused. Little did I suspect that he would attempt to smoke them out behind the garage. (They can really stain the teeth, but with AJ that's not really an issue.)

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by AUSSIEJEFF:

To hell with it. PUT IT TO A DEMOCRATIC VOTE for all I care. All those in favour of Sir Lenakonrad?

No vote. This decision is 100% yours to make.

So...

Welcome Sir Lenakonrad!

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

I would also like to welcome Sir Lenakonrad as a new knight of the MBT. I think he is worthy of being a knight as much as the rest of us are worthy. If you think of it as worth.

I was lowered to knighthood on a whim of the elf Lorak after one squire battle that I lost. Oh, how the old ones ground their gums and complained bitterly that day.

[Jim Boggs]

Originally posted by lenakonrad:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Persephone:

]Lena and Konrad are two copper mines in Poland.

Persephone

I'm afraid its coincidence ,but very funny indeed.

Thank you , Persephone.

Sir konrad

Faithful Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFF </font>

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by lenakonrad:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Persephone:

]Lena and Konrad are two copper mines in Poland.

Persephone

I'm afraid its coincidence ,but very funny indeed.

Thank you , Persephone.

Sir konrad

Faithful Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFF </font>

[Joe Shaw]

You know Seanachai we haven't fully established YOUR bona-fidos when you get right down to it. I mean you CLAIM to be of Irish descent but we've seen no proof. You CLAIM to be gnome but we've seen ... no wait, we HAVE seen photos, okay scratch that one.

The point is that I think you are trying to hide something and your insistence on further data from lenakonrad is just your attempt to hide from our scrutiny.

So Seanachai, let's see some more of YOU (ohhh, I didn't care for the image THAT inspires) before we investigate others, eh?

Joe

p.s. Besides, the poor lad has enough to deal with ... having sprung from AussieJeff's loins ... in a manner of speaking ... damn there's another image that's going to ruin my day.