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My my, at Waterloo Peng did challenge


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Almost forgot,

The forces of Papa Kahn have been soundly defeated.

The gamey sod had SMG squads and Halftracks backed up by Tigers and Jagdpanzer IV's, all hiding behind or in buildings.

I had a couple of T-34's and a company of Ivans.

He never had a chance.

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Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

How does one ACCESS the extension? Through the DOS prompt? Oh my God, there has to be another way. Quit stalling and provide the missing piece to your downfall.

Winzip is out, overruled by the Queen Mother of the Boggs Household, ("$21.99 for WHAT!!??!!").

Does BFC hate AOL? Or is it the other way around?

Also, why does this scenario smell like a trap?

I WANT MORE INFANTRY!!!!!

Serf

Of course she vetoed it, she's got the pants, money and obviously the brains in your household. No wonder you've got the geek with girl scenario down so well. (Nice autobiographical sketch it was.)

The trial version of winzip is free for a while, download it and quit whining.

Always Old Losers hates BFC.

I'm thinking skin o' chai made an error.

Of course it's a trap but the smell's your own. Hint: keep the exclamation points to yourself, this is a literate zone.

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Oh uh ... well ... uh ... OH Not so fast there AussieJeff {Joe looks around frantically for a loophole, ANY loophole} ... uh, OH right, not so fast there AussieJeff, exactly WHAT were the requirements for Knighthood? I mean normally it's up the Knight to proclaim the requirements, but in YOUR case it would likely be something akin to "Say Lenakonrad ... seen my second best spurs anywhere?". In YOUR case, of course, that would be equivilant to sending someone on a search for the Holy Grail.

Actually in HIS case it would probably be the same.

SO ... what EXACTLY was the task you set for him ... chapter and verse, lad, full details and all that. Can't have slipshod paperwork you know.

Whew! That was close ... with luck he'll forget all about this Knighthood for lenakonrad while he's trying to figure out how to "slipshod" something.

Joe

Bloody stickler for fine details.. *whips a beautiful gold inlaid Handy Dandy Handbook out of his Book Of Rites holster*

AHEM!! *coff*

"AussieJeff's Pilot Guide On How To Become A Fully Fledged Kaniggett"

Chapter 34: "Special Tasks/Requirements"

Verse xiv: Whomesoever shall be Quire unto the Great Sir Aussiejeff shall be required to undertake the following onerous rites of passage: *Lemme check here what I've marked off and noted ...*

{hut!} Wade naked through the pool while standing on your head reciting "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" *CHECK* Damned fine recital too. Couldn't understand a word...

{g whizz} Declare your utter Faithfulness, for all to see. This MUST annoy the Justicar or no points will be awarded. Double *CHECK*. Well done lad! The steam is STILL rising from his fudge-encrusted ears!

{item the second} Read "The Origination Of The Pool Species" by Imag Nome backwards. *CHECK* Has also promised to one day make a movie of "How The Cesspool Was One" complete with miming of obscene gestures - whatever that means. Extra point three of a bonus point.

{33 1/3} Bring me the head of no lesser Pooligan than a fellow Squire on a pointy stick *DOUBLECHECK* In fact has gone one better than Quire and delivered Sir Nidan1's empty brainbox on said pointy stick with accompanying plate of SourKraut sidedressing. Top marks, lad!!

TESTE RESULTS:

Passed with flying colour {white}!

Dated: 19 March In The Year Of Our Lord 2003

Signed: Sir Aussiejeff, Liege.

Crikey, Joe. I reckon that's more than enough PRIMA FACIE evidence. Now, be a good chap or I'll have to send in the UN to inspect your premises for MISSING TURNS GODAMMIT!!!!

AJ

..tap, tap..

[ March 18, 2003, 01:04 PM: Message edited by: AUSSIEJEFF ]

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Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

How does one ACCESS the extension? Through the DOS prompt? Oh my God, there has to be another way. Quit stalling and provide the missing piece to your downfall.

Highlight the file. Hit rename. Type in whatever the bloody hell you want (just make sure it doesn't end in .txt). Send it to me.

BTW, WinZip is free.

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ONE GAME! ONE FREAKING GAME! That's IT? MY Squires are required, and indeed it was the original requirement for ALL Squires, to complete FIVE (5) CessPool games before we raised someone to Knight.

Well it just won't do lad, it won't do at all. Let's see a task with some teeth to it, something that will PROVE his worth to the Knights of the CessPool ... as IF ...

I see a series of games played with CessPoolers, win or lose doesn't matter of course, it's the thought that counts after all.

And he must play as the Dutch in a show of nationalism.

Joe

[ March 18, 2003, 01:05 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

ONE GAME! ONE FREAKING GAME! That's IT? MY Squires are required, and indeed it was the original requirement for ALL Squires, to complete FIVE (5) CessPool games before we raised someone to Knight.

Well it just won't do lad, it won't do at all. Let's see a task with some teeth to it, something that will PROVE his worth to the Knights of the CessPool ... as IF ...

I see a series of games played with CessPoolers, win or lose doesn't matter of course, it's the thought that counts after all.

And he must play as the Dutch in a show of nationalism.

Joe

You BLIND AS A BAT IDIOT Joe!!!

Let me refer you BACK to page 6 of this thread, to the 4th post from the bottom, and thence to para 2 of that post WHERE I STATE UNEQUIVOCABLY AND UNEDITED THAT SQUIRE LENAKONRAD HAS COMPLETED MORE THAN FIVE GAMES AGAINST MEMBERS OF THE CESSPOOL COGNISENTI. WHICH IS A DAMNED SIGHT MORE GAMES THAN YOU'VE PLAYED IN THE LAST X FRICKIN YEARS IF YOUR CURRENT NON-RATE OF TURNAROUND CAN BE BELIEVED!!!!

SHEESH!!

Seanachai, I blame YOU for this madness. Your well meaning sing-song has inadvertently confused the poor Justicar and sent him into a bloody incipient tailspin!!

So cut the crap already Joe!!

That's my LAST offer, or you can have MY ruddy sword back. And it won't be where the sun shines, sunshine.

*GRRRRRUMMMMMBBBLLLEEEE*

Sir Flamin' MadderThanHellAgain AJ

PS: Damned Beaurocrats suck!

PPS: Your TURN or your COMPLETE HUMILIATING SURRENDER, SIR!!!

PPPS: I forgot what else I was going to say but it was probably abusive as well ...

PPPPS: He played me as the Hungarians. Now THAT is Courage with a capital K!

[ March 18, 2003, 01:21 PM: Message edited by: AUSSIEJEFF ]

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Now, now AussieJeff no need to get your knickers in a knot you know. I simply want to be absolutely certain that ALL the T's are crossed and the I's dotted. You certainly wouldn't want ANY tinge of doubt to attend lenakonrad's elevation to Knight would you?

So ... with that in mind ... perhaps just answering a few simple questions will put my mind at ease on the subject:

{ahem}

With whom were the games played? CessPool games, after all, must be played against CessPoolers, SSNs don't count as I'm sure you'll agree.

What were the dates of the games? Games played PRIOR to his elevation to Squire are CLEARLY not going to count as I'm sure you'll agree.

In what manner, specifically, did he engage in gamey play during each of these games? We OBVIOUSLY can't have a Knight who refuses to indulge in gamey play as I'm sure you'll agree.

Where are the AARs of the games played? It is by the AARs that we judge an applicant and we really need to review them for completness and style of taunting as I'm sure you'll agree.

There ... hardly a moment's work and it's done eh AussieJeff? While it's true that I'm called the Cudgel of the CessPool it has never been my intention to deny the Knighthood to any TRUE Squire.

Joe

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Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

I will try this one more time tonight, if it does not work, I will download the trial version of WinZip and test it thoroughly before making a decision to buy.

Don't worry about that.

I've been, err, "evaluating" Winzip for about ten years now.

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Originally posted by Egbert:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />

Of course she vetoed it, she's got the pants, money and obviously the brains in your household. No wonder you've got the geek with girl scenario down so well. (Nice autobiographical sketch it was.)

</font>

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Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

"That's right Boo I want four pairs of Spats, with the lace and silk trim. Only a $1,000 each? NO PROBLEM. My girl friend has dumped me for some hunk in Florida so I got all this CASH and nowhere to spend it. Send it to Egbert , in Richmond, Va."

Oh, my 401K is down the tubes.

But retirement plans are just for rubes.

For when it comes to dough, I'm the king of cats

Cuz.

I.

Sell.

Spats.

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Guest konrad
Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

In what manner, specifically, did he engage in gamey play during each of these games? We OBVIOUSLY can't have a Knight who refuses to indulge in gamey play as I'm sure you'll agree.

Joe

Ask Vadr (surrender ,another surrender on the way) , Miriam (surrender) , Nidan (total victory,another total victory on the way), Hortlund (didn't send me turn for weeks,perhaps to avoid surrender),I'm sure they will be more than happy to help.All of that happened in last month (according to Julian calendar.

I was defeat twice by my own God and Master(Glory ,Glory ,Alleluja),one of the most exciting and educating experiences of my all entire life.

Sir Konrad

(still and always) Faithful Squire To Sir AUSSIEJEFF

PS:good news : in my movie (working title Peng :The Wreck of Western Culture you get the role.I know you are not a proffesional actor ,but hey,men is on the stage from the very beginning.

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Originally posted by lenakonrad:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

In what manner, specifically, did he engage in gamey play during each of these games? We OBVIOUSLY can't have a Knight who refuses to indulge in gamey play as I'm sure you'll agree.

Joe

Ask Vadr (surrender ,another surrender on the way) , Miriam (surrender) , Nidan (total victory,another total victory on the way), Hortlund (didn't send me turn for weeks,perhaps to avoid surrender),I'm sure they will be more than happy to help.All of that happened in last month (according to Julian calendar.

I was defeat twice by my own God and Master(Glory ,Glory ,Alleluja),one of the most exciting and educating experiences of my all entire life.

Sir Konrad

(still and always) Faithful Squire To Sir AUSSIEJEFF

PS:good news : in my movie (working title Peng :The Wreck of Western Culture you get the role.I know you are not a proffesional actor ,but hey,men is on the stage from the very beginning. </font>

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Guest konrad
Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I must maintain tradition or my honor would be besmirched.

Joe

Everyone is fighting for something they don't really have.

Sir Konrad

Faithful Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFF

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Gamey Updates

Lars- locked in a game of deadly bumper cars, my heroic quad .50 on tracks holds the hill while destroying everythnig in sight. Nothing else of note to meantion...yes thats it...oh wait, send a turn!

Vadr- He may have had an array of T-34's mixed with light tanks, but my brave light German and Czech tanks brawled at long range in what i turned into a battle of atrition with no winnner....the result was a draw, it apears he is not yet the "master".

Nidan1- His scared remenents of his defends lay wounded, hungry and huddled together enough of them have perished for nothing in the battle to leave room for many seats between them, as the lead of the brave attacker fills the air with no mercy or end in sight.

Vinokonrad- The fight is on as he squanders his artillary for all to mock,while his army cowers in their hiding places, i have much ground to cover so send out a turn!

[ March 18, 2003, 07:39 PM: Message edited by: Gaylord Focker ]

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Originally posted by lenakonrad:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I must maintain tradition or my honor would be besmirched.

Joe

Everyone is fighting for something they don't really have.

Sir Konrad

Faithful Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFF </font>

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My AAR with Aussie Jeff

On the battlefront, here.

Where are you, AJ???

Are you hiding in the trees?

And eating cans of peas?

Are you acting like a tease?

I will smite you down with ease!

We are over here, you Pillock!

Resting calmly on a hillock,

Just a little closer, Boo..

Then we'll be rid of you.

You rumble around in the night

I know you want a good fight

But I'll be where you expect me least.

As you face west, I'll come east.

Ha! I know your crazy tricks, Mr Boo,

coz' I've seen you monkeying in the zoo,

You drive me absolutely bonkers

playing 'marbles' with your conkers

And your fascination dabbling with your poo.

Your tanks are milling all around

The position noted by their sound.

Look behind you, what do you see?

A T-34 and in the hatch is me!

Oh no it's not, you fib the most,

my men all know that you're a ghost,

A figment of your feeble mind,

Into the dust your tanks we'll grrrrind.

I know your kind, you cricket grog!

But googlies won't help you in the fog.

For when you feel that fateful tap,

I'll knock your silly arse clean off the map!

But Boo, you know I'm fair and just

You suffer bad from battle lust,

Come closer now, I hear your breath,

Let Kitties help speed you to death.....

Tiger, Tiger in the night.

Oh, what a fearsome thing to fight.

But I'm not scared and will not flee,

For you can't hit what you can't see.

Oh, silly Boo - you big, fat git.

You think the "night" will stop a hit?

My Tigers with their INFRA RED

will kill your tankers - dead, dead, DEAD!

First contact made!

Now watch me fade.

Your Panther fires a round that misses

I wave "Bye-bye" and blow him kisses.

Ach! Tin can schpied at 30 metre,

Mein Panzer cannot miss zis cheater?

But vot ist zis? Zum krazy bug,

make gun dig dirt? Oh, vot der fug!!!

Asleep at the switch, were you Fritz?

Or were you busy "takink der sh*tz"?

You run around, arms akimbo,

I'll not leave you long in limbo.

Ach! My boys get such a fright!

To see the Russkie's "see" at night,

Far better than a panthers bino's??

I'll toss this crap and join the wino's...

A little secret, I'll have you know

And no, don't worry, your tanks don't glow.

My men have dined on carrot latkes

And drank a bunch of carrot vodkas.

Tap, tap - I'm here you gamey rabbit

My men are blind - they have a habit

It's one that you would never shirk

It rhymes with mass debate you jerk!

Oooh, you sound so testy

Where normally, you're zesty

Don't find fault with the Game's many twists,

Go find yourself some Optometrists!

I'm lost for words - what can I say,

The tank "bug" bites again...

you blame my eyes for worthless play

but you should try MY men!

Oh, give it a rest!

I ran a test.

Your tanks can fight.

Even at night!

Well waddya know, Boo runs a test

to see if Russkies see the best,

The findings moot, you see dear reader,

My cunning krauts just blast the bleeder!

Oh, Jeff is happy

That now he finds

His optics aint crappy,

His men aint blind

He fires a shot that kills my tank

But I'm the one that he should thank. Thhhhhhhhpppppt!

Oh, Comrade Booski! Over here!!

Can't you see you silly dear?

The tables turned,

The worm has too,

And now I'm hunting poor, scared, Boo!

Alas, weak armor has my number.

Even against an opponent who couldn't play dumber.

You're ahead, 4 to 2,

Though I still have more tanks than you.

Oh fie, oh woe, my muse is dead,

there ain't more poetry in my head,

Boo's gamey tactics gave him a win

A hollow victory .. 'tis a sin.

Oh fie, oh woe! His use of FOG

to gain advantage, what a DOG!

With HONOUR, I accept defeat,

Till WIN I SHALL ere next we meet..

Your surrender is empty like your head

What do you surrender? Your tanks are dead!

All that's left is to tally the score,

For of your Panthers, there are no more.

THE LAST POST:

Your "victory" tainted by tactics most foul,

I suspect you are bothered by bugs in your bowel,

I smell something fishy, oh wait, it's your breath!

Be assured Little Boo, next game YOU visit death!

THE VERY LAST POST:

Oh stiffen your backbone

And grow a spleen.

It's ONLY a Major Victory

EIGHTY ONE TO NINETEEN!

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Guest konrad
Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Don't be presumptious lad, you'll no doubt get your potentially well deserved presumptive Knighthood any day now ...

Joe

That is very kind of you , Joe (well ,at least I get this on the paper)

Mind you ,I'm not in such a hurry really,I understand that knighthood brings a lot more responsibility (including screaming insults at visitors ,swarming over the Peng like monkey ,leering in at windows ,throwing stones at passersby from the roof,urinating and masturbating from balconies ,etc..).

But well ,here we are ,soldier boy!

Sir Konrad

Faithful Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFF

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