Seanachai Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Right, then. Welcome to the Peng Challenge Thread. We at the Peng Challenge have a long history of public service, commencing with the implosion and disappearance of our original Thread, posting continuously to make sure that more deserving threads like 'BFC, My Tank Died, Too Many Bugs For We Ubermenschen' always sink to the bottom of the page, and through such public works as hijacking, belittling, and eventually killing such idiotic threads as the 'Still Nothing to F'ing Say Third Redux of the Bren Tripod Thread'. Now, we turn our attentions to an international tragedy that simply won't go away: Australia. By challenging a single individual to a game of Combat Mission, and doing so in a witty, urbane, and thoughtful way, you can make a difference. The Peng Challenge Thread promises that for every well done taunt, every humourous challenge, we will savagely mock Australia, or an Australian, without mercy or conscience.* We've all seen the Australians prancing about this Board, and even the World, speaking their incomprehensible gibberish in their horribly decayed Pommie accents, mugging for cameras worldwide while grilling prawns and exporting only the worst sodding swill as their 'signature beer'. We've heard them calling themselves the Lucky Country, while inflicting Olivia Newton John, Paul Hogan, the Crocodile Hunter and Aussie Rules Football on a world already rent by turmoil and heartache. How many more times will we just 'look away', and pretend that it's the 'other guy's' responsibility to do something about these Down Under Hillbillies hopping about the world landscape with their under-developed young in their evolutionary dead-end pouches? Well, it stops now. And you can help. Please, the Peng Challenge needs your help. Make a taunt, a challenge, and make us smile while you do it. And we will put those drunken descendants of criminals in their place (staked out in the sun with bull ants swarming their privates). Please. Act today. Or do you want to watch 'Crocodile Dundee IV: Shock and Aweroight, Mate!' * Some restrictions apply. Do not base your taunts or challenges on your genitalia, other people's genitalia, or bathroom matters. Do not annoy or harass the Ladies of the Pool. Challenge a single individual, do not make pillocky general challenges that make everyone laugh at what a clueless, gormless lackwit you are. Challenges cannot be honoured if an email address and general location are not included in your profile. The Peng Challenge Thread reserves the right to send any bloody halfwit to Coventry for being a menace to good taste and Human Evolution by posting and existing in an utterly useless and annoying fashion. Challenges to Peng himself will not be considered unless they are unbelievably amazing. Please note that Australia, Australians, and the Lucky Country are now registered trademarks of the Peng Challenge Thread, and taunting and abuse of them is a violation of local laws without express written permission of the Olde Ones and the Knights of the Pool. Australians will be harmed in the making of this Thread. God bless you, Goanna, wherever you are. [ July 11, 2003, 06:30 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Boo_Radley: OK you gaggle of flacid, prancing ninnies, I'm back. Turns will be going out sometime hopefully in the next day or so due to the fact that I have to reinstall CM and all it's files. Why, you ask? Well, since you ask so nicely, I'll tell you. The severe lightning storm we had earlier this week not only fried my modem, it also screwed up my graphics to the point that my brand new graphics card was no longer compatible with my system. Why? Beats me, I just play games on the darn thing, I don't know what makes it work. So, we had to do a complete restore to the original system, reinstall my old graphics card and take it from there. Some of my PBEM games might not have survived the purge as I had limited space to save things and gee whiz, some of you guys just didn't make the cut. But, I'll let you know what the scoop is a bit later. [serious]I know that many of you computer whiz kids will probably want to admonish me on how I might have handled this better, but after spending an entire afternoon with the computer guys and dealing with this crap for the last four days...I really don't want to hear it. Thanks.[/serious] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Next time install one of those new fangled things called "Lightening Rods", or even better attach a uninsulated wire to your leg, pound a metal rod into the ground and attach the other end of the wire to it, all this preferrably near your home. Get a long metal pole, and stand there holding the pole like the Statue of Liberty. During the next storm, if lightening strikes it will be attracted to the metal rod you are holding. The 50 million volts of natural electricity will hit the pole, surge through your body, and continue harmlessly into the ground. Please be aware you will only be able to do this once, a fresh person will be needed for any other strikes of lightening. Or...you dumb ass get a $15 surge protector, and plug your PC into it. Edited to appear in the New Improved Peng Challenge Thread. -------------------- "Duty is as heavy as a mountain Death is as light as a feather" "I am reality" SSGT. Barnes [ July 11, 2003, 06:24 PM: Message edited by: Nidan1 ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 All together now! Once a jolly swagman sat beside the billabong, Under the shade of a coolibah tree, And he sang as he sat and waited by the billabong You'll come a waltzing matilda with me Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda You'll come a waltzing matilda with me And he sang as he sat and waited by the billabong You'll come a waltzing matilda with me. Down came a jumbuck to drink beside the billabong Up jumped the swagman and seized him with glee And he sang as he tucked jumbuck in his tuckerbag You'll come a waltzing matilda with me Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda You'll come a waltzing matilda with me And he sang as he sat and waited by the billabong You'll come a waltzing matilda with me. Down came the stockman, riding on his thoroughbred, Down came the troopers, one, two, three. "Where's the jolly jumbuck you've got in your tuckerbag? You'll come a waltzing matilda with me Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda You'll come a waltzing matilda with me And he sang as he sat and waited by the billabong You'll come a waltzing matilda with me. Up jumped the swagman and plunged into the billabong, "You'll never catch me alive," cried he And his ghost may be heard as you ride beside the billabong, You'll come a waltzing matilda with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Remember the movie "On the Beach", the whole world was wiped out during a nuclear war, all except Gregory Peck's (RIP) submarine and ALL THE AUSSIES , even Hollywood loves 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: And we will put those drunken descendants of criminals in their place My place - I love a sunburnt country, A land of sweeping plains, Of ragged mountain ranges, Of droughts and flooding rains. I love her far horizons, I love her jewel-sea, Her beauty and her terror – The wide brown land for me! Thank you Seanachai, for the telethon. All proceeds should be forwarded to my home address. Once again...thankyou. AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI! OI! OI!!!! Mace [ July 11, 2003, 06:42 PM: Message edited by: Mace ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 12, 2003 Author Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: All together now! </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Once a jolly swagman sat beside the billabong, Under the shade of a coolibah tree, And he sang as he sat and waited by the billabong You'll come a waltzing matilda with me... </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Well done Seanachai and may I be the first or a reasonable facsimile thereof to say that Australia is home to the ten most venemous snakes in the world and doesn't that just say a bundle all by its own self. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by Nidan1: <font size=-1>Remember the movie "On the Beach", the whole world was wiped out during a nuclear war, all except Gregory Peck's (RIP) submarine and ALL THE AUSSIES</font>...who were promptly out-evolved by the remaining cockroaches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 I hate the Aussies in only a general sort of way... What's that you say? Mace, Goanna, Stuka, Noba, Aussie Jeff, and a writhing mass of other mouth-breathers hail from that continent put-down-under where it could be rightly ignored? Well, I now have many specific reasons to hate Australia. Huzzah! p.s.- Let's not forget that OGSF is a big girl from down-unda as well, even though he poses as a yankee/scottish freak of nature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 You know what I hate about Australia? Everytime I go to a zoo, we go to the "Outback" (you know, the area between those bamboo latrines and the rear of the monkey-house)...so we get there and I say something like "Ooh, there go some kangaroos!" but somebody always pipes up "Actually, those aren't kangaroos, they're- (insert various corny non-kangaroo name like 'willoughby' or somefink)" Usually it's my spiteful little daughter who says it (the one who alternates between her 'princess' and 'devil' t-shirt daily) but if she's not around, any friendly buck-toothed voter will be sure to pipe in. Man I hate that! As if they're not kangaroos, sheesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by Panzer Leader: "Actually, those aren't kangaroos, they're- (insert various corny non-kangaroo name like 'willoughby' or somefink)"They're wallabies, ya nong. They're like kangaroos, only smaller. btw. If you ever have the opportunity to see a great red (bloody huge roo)...go up to one and slug it in the stomach. They like that. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by Boo-"I don't know nuthin'"-Radley:...Beats me, I just play games on the darn thing, I don't know what makes it work.I've watched Kelly's Heroes (bolded out of respect for a masterpiece), bub, and you ain't no hero. Maybe a hoagie, or one of dalem's sandwiches. Not that there's anything wrong with that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by R_Leete: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo-"I don't know nuthin'"-Radley:...Beats me, I just play games on the darn thing, I don't know what makes it work.I've watched Kelly's Heroes (bolded out of respect for a masterpiece), bub, and you ain't no hero. Maybe a hoagie, or one of dalem's sandwiches. Not that there's anything wrong with that... </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 To: Mssrs Nidan & R_Leete, Re: The two frighteningly vapid posts that you were oh so proud of that you couldn't allow them to fade respectivly away in the last thread, but felt, nay, were compelled to repost here so I could see. Right now I am drunk. No, I am hammered. Why? Because my week was ****e on a shingle (not unlike MrSpkr's profession). Because of this and the simple (like you two duck chasing Nancy-boys) fact that you have caused me to notice you, realize that Christmas presents are right out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Hiram Sedai Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Lorak, MRPeng, and Goanna give me a holler if you want to continue our games from a while ago. I do hate the idea of beta’s. I spent an hour processing turns for me and the reason for the trembling in my loins. I patiently tried each in ver 1.02, ver 1.03 beta, and then ver 1.03. I should have never ever downloaded and used that silly beta. It was peer pressure and I blame Elvis. I struggle each day to live up to his standards and still fall short. Even after all of my effort, he verbally castigates me in an email. Does he know how he makes me hurt inside? As I sit weeping on the john, I ponder my existence and my role in the Mutha Beautiful Thread. This August, I will have been an inhabitant for three years. Three very long years of self deprecating humor and tussling with the CM Titans. I tip my Phillies cap to the following people for some very interesting battles of whit and combat mission: MarkIV - his humor, tenacity, and panache were awe inspiring and I do miss him. Germanboy - his arrogance, pomposity, and egocentricity made him a fun target to mess with. Hakko Ichui - alas, I never knew ye…but you did get a rise out of me when I first visited the Peng thread and therefore get my respect (you’re "fecking flamethrower" awaits, Professor Doctor Hamster X) PeterNZer - I still cringe from the torment of our PBEM’s JDMorse - I appreciate the tutelage, the mentoring and the empathy Geier - What should I say about the "Old Firm"? Mensch - You are just fricken crazy, dude (damn your hetzers) Croda - Sadly, you were my muse for angst and rage for a while. Still a bit bitter about some of those battles but I did whoop you good. (punk) Meeks - You were the Arnold Swarzennegger of the Peng Thread Thanks for the good memories! I shall try to stick around as long as they allow the Peng thread to exist. If I make you cringe with the stories of my sweet Hiram lovin, then good. I was able to make you chuckle for a second. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: As I sit weeping on the john, I ponder my existence and my role in the Mutha Beautiful Thread. This August, I will have been an inhabitant for three years. Three very long years of self deprecating humor and tussling with the CM Titans. Enough of the maudlin crap, you mamby-pamby-Lady-whipped excuse for a man. I hereby give you a figurative knee-to-the-groin. There, that ought to get your ire up. You monkey in a hair suit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Hiram Sedai Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by Leeo: Bravo Sierra snipped What? Are you feeling a bit spunky tonight, wussy boy? Want to send a setup or are ya chicken? Bok, Bok Bok!!! (That taunt always seemed to work in the second grade and I was able to use it three years in succession.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leeo: Bravo Sierra snipped What? Are you feeling a bit spunky tonight, wussy boy? Want to send a setup or are ya chicken? Bok, Bok Bok!!! (That taunt always seemed to work in the second grade and I was able to use it three years in succession.) </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: I was able to make you chuckle for a second. Ummm... Hate to break this to you but we aren't laughing with you. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachaip: <font size=-1>God bless you, Goanna, wherever you are.</font> Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: <font size=-1>Goanna give me a holler if you want to continue our games from a while ago.</font>Don't you drunken old sots ever LISTEN? Wait... wait... I know. FREE BEER! THIS ONE'S ON ME! There. Now that I've gotten your gnat-like attention span, let me repeat myself from 'lo these many threads ago. When last heard of, the Australian uberlizard had (a) broken his leg ( gotten himself stuck in Siberia. No, not METAPHORICALLY in Siberia. LITERALLY in Siberia. You know, Siberia. Possibly the only place on earth worse than Australia. But did you lot care? Did you WORRY? Hell no. And I was winning our sodding game, too. Gamey swine probably just did it to get out of the loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Just a note of caution; I'm stumbling drunk, and I'll take you ALL on! (only in a one-specific-person-at-a-time sort of way). *Waves fists ineffectually in the air* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by PondScum: When last heard of, the Australian uberlizard had (a) broken his leg ( gotten himself stuck in Siberia. I thought Stalin was dead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Hiram Sedai Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by Leeo: Just a note of caution; I'm stumbling drunk, and I'll take you ALL on! (only in a one-specific-person-at-a-time sort of way). *Waves fists ineffectually in the air* not really in the mood for any prison love, tough guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Now THAT, by Gawd, was vintage Hiram! That was the OLDE Hiram, the Hiram of yesteryear, the Hiram that once was and mayhap will be again, the Hiram ... well you get the idea. I for one welcome it. We've far too many of people like my own good self (well, not really, there is after all only ONE of me ... more's the pity) ... people of stature and fortitude, people cast of the fine, stern stuff that made this country great, people who laugh in the face of danger and defy the seemingly insurmountable odds with a sneer and taunt of ... ... Bring 'em On!... by GAWD I feel like invading Iran or something! We NEED the terminally incompetent like Hiram, and more importantly we need the terminally incompetent WHO RECOGNIZE THAT THEY ARE! We need the snivelling, whining, crying o'er split milquetoast type that is now and will always be ... OUR Hiram. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: not really in the mood for any prison love, tough guy Let's see, "Prison Love; That's just an oxymoron on the face of it. But wait, you're a moron short on oxy, so I guess it makes a lame and twisted sort of sense. Much like your gait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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