BFCElvis Posted February 10, 2001 Share Posted February 10, 2001 Peng has lost to me a nasty little 700 point QB via TCP/IP. He claims that he would have won if had had more time (it was 20 turns). Well, if the Queen had balls she would be the King too. We have agreed to a rematch of the same basic setup but I would be attacking. I have expressed to the whinney little bastard that I would have had no problem with beating him if the situation was reversed. Bottom line Mr. Lorak: Peng: Loser Elvis : Winner (again) ------------------ "When they finally put you in the ground..I'll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down" Elvis Costello Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nijis Posted February 10, 2001 Share Posted February 10, 2001 What? Deport me from Pengland, when I've been busy toiling away and keeping my mouth shut like a good resident alien? And I had not yet had the chance to pay my respects to the tomb of Hajj Mohammed Hitler, who is well known to us from Radio Berlin's Arabic service. I have taken such trouble to learn the local customs here, and like my compatriate Hani Ramzi, formerly or perhaps currently of the Bremen footballing club, I am always ready to greet my neighbors and colleagues with a hearty Heil as a token of friendship and respect. Truly, this is no way to treat a guest. PS: When is Rommel coming to Cairo? He was due some time ago to remove the British but they're still around, as is their snooker, their Hash House Harriers, their Pims and their G and Ts, and all their other filthy Zionist Freemason pastimes and phenomena. ------------------ "I can't listen to music too often... It makes me want to say kind, stupid things, and pat the heads of people... But now you have to beat them on the head, beat them without mercy." V. I. Lenin [This message has been edited by nijis (edited 02-10-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 Originally posted by Elvis: Peng has lost to me a nasty little 700 point QB via TCP/IP. He claims that he would have won if had had more time (it was 20 turns). Well, if the Queen had balls she would be the King too. We have agreed to a rematch of the same basic setup but I would be attacking. I have expressed to the whinney little bastard that I would have had no problem with beating him if the situation was reversed. Bottom line Mr. Lorak: Peng: Loser Elvis : Winner (again) Correct on all counts. How I hate you. And Now for something completely different: cribbed from the Book of Peng: 13:1 and it came to pass that Peng was taken from this place to another place, and given to feast upon the pod-food there. 13:b and it was foody, verily, and good. A:12 and a shepherd boy was brought unto Peng, and Peng asked of him, "Hey fathead. Are you some kind of numbnuts or something?" and the boy replied not to the query, but bade Peng harken to his tale. 13:3 Peng harkend, but did not listen as the boy went on an on and on about sheep and wool and walking and grass, until the boy spake of a sheep called mace, who had sinned a great sin 13:f Peng (auribus erectis) listened as the boy {he was called Hiram, but has been purposefully not mentioned in the book of Peng - ed.} spake of the sheep mace and the abomination he had created. Mace had fled the flock one spring day, in serch of naughty adventures. yea for mace was a naughty sheep indeed and not averse to the fickle fling. 13:11 mace bounded merrily through the clover, until he came upon a vinyard. there he drank of the vine until his young sheep blood pulsed with the beat of the wicked. 13:14 and it was good 13:c mace staggered through the vinyard as a drunken satyr, staggered he. and he was drunk with the wine he had stolen. 13:12 and it was in this way that mace came upon the kitty of the vinyard, who was named Kitty, and in his drunkeness and in his sinful state he knew Kitty, and spawned he him with his wicked flesh a new breed, an abomination. 13:42 And Peng asked the sheepherding boy, "by what name is a spawn of a cat and a sheep known to us?" 11:0 "Shat" Here endeth the lesson. ------------------ "I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..." Hamsters/Meeks(!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 Accompaning the latest turn from Mace: Ubertracks? Oh I'm sorry, I never realised what I was facing! I think it best that I send my surrender immediately! Here it is!!!! And there you have it Lorak ... proof positive that the abomination known as Mace has (and in writing I might add ... in fact I think I will ... add it that is) stated that he will surrender to me! Right has triumphed over evil and Good over ... uh ... evil again, I guess. Granted he didn't ACTUALLY send the surrender with the turn, slipped his mind no doubt, and the surrender will surely be coming when he's advised of his error. But just to save time and be proactive, go ahead and mark down a WIN for ME (JOE SHAW ... in case you forgot) and a LOSS for the OZZIE SHEEPSHAGGER KNOWN AS MACE. No need to wait till the last minute. Of course, should his evil nature compromise his honor and he should NOT surrender, well then ... we can all call him a LIAR can't we! Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 WHAT? You lookin' at me? Huh? 'cause I was thinking maybe you was like, lookin' at ME ya know? Joe [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 02-11-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 Double post ... oh yeah right, like YOU'VE never done that! Joe [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 02-11-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 Originally posted by MrPeng: 11:0 "Shat" Written in the Book of Mace revelations: 12:0 For the shat didth smell, and was putrid, and didth squelch between the toes when stepped in, and like mosteth of it's kind contributed little to society except as fertiliser. 12.1 and yae verily, it wast known by another name, and this name it was knoweth by was Peng or Mr Happy! 12.2 but, a piece of ****e by any other name is still a piece of ****e! Mace (writer of holy scriptures, but someone who was looking forward to a quiet weekend...blah!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: But just to save time and be proactive, go ahead and mark down a WIN for ME (JOE SHAW ... in case you forgot) and a LOSS for the OZZIE SHEEPSHAGGER KNOWN AS MACE. No need to wait till the last minute. Of course, should his evil nature compromise his honor and he should NOT surrender, well then ... we can all call him a LIAR can't we! i) I would wait a while oh great Lorak! ii) I work for government, everyone calls me a liar! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 looks like Shaw is perseverating since they unhooked his frontal lobes. ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 Lorak, grab your chisel and mallet and scribe thusly: Peng: Win Moriarty: Loss (add another asterisk) Vielen dank. I'll let the winner provide the gory details. ------------------ "Moriarty, you suck." -- Dunno, but somebody must've said it somewhere along the line Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 Okay, other than a MINOR problem with the board posting when it didn't LOOK like it was taking my posts ... In stark contrast to the other LOSERS who participated in Operation Lizard to welcome Goanna back to the fold (sit DOWN Mace), MY rigged scenario performed exactly as designed and resulted in the double humiliation of forcing Will to play the French (perhaps the ultimate humiliation) and his loss by a score of 84 to 12. I cannot take credit for this win, however, as the result was a foregone conclusion and even my screwup with the setup zones couldn't change that. So, as a Man Of HONOR ... unlike some that I COULD mention {couMacegh}, I will not claim this as a victory on Lorak's board. However, the jerk DID bend the barrels on both of my JT's. Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 Originally posted by Moriarty: Lorak, grab your chisel and mallet ...and strike Moriarty sharply at the base of the neck. His troops, gruntled by my exorable advance, are whelmed by my battlefield finesse. They are shooting guns at me. Big ones. Advancing steadily at the rate of one meter per minute, I nonetheless promise him six feet of German snow, and no more. But I swear, he's been reading them books. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 Achtung! ÜberEidische Update It’s all down to one final OpLiz game now with Speedy pulling up the rear. Our current turn validated the BTS modelling perfectly as I lost 5 Chaffees to one KT. Let’s see he has four, five, six left . . . uh, I think we’re going to have a problem here pretty soon folks. Coleslaw, the swine™ that he is couldn’t even bother to send me back the final map file, so as to hide the embarrassing facts of how much damage I did to his elite Hamstertrüppen armed only with beads of armpit sweat that I flicked at him with the highest accuracy. Not to worry though, I shall hold the original .cmb file as ransom until he releases the final map to me as I, King Lizard, am in possession of the only known copy! Muahahaha! Note to self Schmoe: backup, backup, backup. Now then, a very good turn was done for me recently by the denizens of deep southern Wisconsin recently in getting me the 1.1.2 patch. And how shall I repay them for said kindness? That is correct, by slagging them here severely. Burlesque has recently managed to take one of the itty bitty VLs in the poorer more trashy suburbs of some town in western Germany, but has squandered nearly 1/3 of the allowable turns in doing so. We plan to help him out by goosestepping loudly and singing German showtunes in the main burg so that he might find his way to the bbq. I stopped in to Lorak’s Cesspool pics page recently, just to see who new might be up and whether the Loathed One has found a way to make my pic EVEN SMALLER by cropping out more of my fantastic ride, and I’ll be damned if I haven’t got a revelation for you. Get on to the National Enquirer folks, because isn’t Moriarty the long lost love-child of John Wayne Gacy. Apparently old clown face was rogering more than just young boys in the basement. BTW, some of his paras in our current game must have forgotten not to run with scissors as I distinctly heard small arms fire and D’ohs from his directtion on turn 9 of 40. Corporate council jdmorse will not be getting a turn today as the file failed to make the transition back from the home ÜberKomputer to this sad excuse for a glorified adding machine I have to send e-mail from. Error type -39s notwithstanding, you will lose your last remaining Sherman III tomorrow. At least I think it’s a Sherman III. It backed up so fast last turn it could have been mistaken for one of those alternate-rear-facing-driver-seat jobs. bahaus and Marlow have returned from self-imposed exile but will be ignored for a further week until they post something amusing. [This message has been edited by Goanna (edited 02-11-2001).] [This message has been edited by Goanna (edited 02-11-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest YK2 Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 The Peng Thread On The 2nd Page??????????? Sean,haven't you sorted out a new ISP yet? Get your sorry ass moving the ship is sinking fast. Peng, are you not watching over your flock then? Or could it just be.... THE RISE AND FALL OF THE GERMAN EMPIRE....... For Peng, ------------------ Just for the record, I am a hunk, a hunk o'burnin' love. So's Meeks, buts that's only until the antibiotics take effect. ------------------- HAKKO [This message has been edited by YK2 (edited 02-11-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 Coleslaw, the swine™ that he is couldn’t even bother to send me back the final map file, so as to hide the embarrassing facts of how much damage I did to his elite Hamstertrüppen armed only with beads of armpit sweat that I flicked at him with the highest accuracy. Damage? To what ... the paint on my tanks? I was willing to be kind as the scenario was clearly unfavorable to you, but your {ahem} attempts to force my position (sit down Bauhaus) were so pathetic that most of my troops were injured due to laughing so long. Let's examine the FACTS shall we, instead of relying upon your VERSION of what happened. I take no pride in this, mind you, it was much like swatting flies that got caught in the refrigerator, but the TRUTH must be told. FACT: Of 47 total FRENCH vehicles I was able to count 31 knocked out, 10 still alive and cowering and the remainder not even willing to cower enough for me to see them. FACT: The FRENCH had 194 casualties (55 KIA) and 184 captured. FACT: The German's had two pillboxes K.O.ed and a grand total of 65 casualties, most of them due to my unfortunate oversight in creating the setup zones. THAT'S IT! Oh and the guns on my two JTs were damaged. You see, I'm being scrupulously honest, unlike some people I could mention {couMacegh}. The game was rigged, no question about it, but Joanna simply can't be allowed to put a good face on it. I was more than happy to give him the benefit of the doubt and not rub it in, but now the gauntlet has been cast and I gladly take up the challenge. I AWAIT YOUR SETUP JOANNA ... this time ... no mercy. Joe btw, thanks for the sig, I'm quite taken with it. ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 Originally posted by Moriarty: Lorak, grab your chisel and mallet and scribe thusly: Peng: Win Moriarty: Loss (add another asterisk) Vielen dank. I'll let the winner provide the gory details. The gory details: Peng held one VL from early in the contest and never had to defend it. Moriarity threw everything he had at a single VL, also captured by Peng early. It was contested at the bitter end. It was down to hand to hand combat for Peng's bulldog veteren riflemen, versus Moriarity's Crack Pioneer FJs. By the numbers: Good guys: 141 casualties (29 KIA) 2 vehicles knocked out Men OK: 61 Score: 51 Bad guys: 104 Casualties (30 KIA) 6 vehicles knocked out Men OK: 30 Score: 38 Allied Minor Victory Just goes to show ya that it pays to have VLs at the end of the game. Now Piss OFF. Mace, a setup is on its way. Peng ------------------ "I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..." Hamsters/Meeks(!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 two things. 1) I have finished my scenario based on 2nd Canadian division around Antwerp.. 2) Meeks is a naughty boy and I can't seem to see a turn from him in my inbox. Therefore I give him a few days before I demand from Lorak a victory for myself and a defeat for meeksy. Danke PeterNZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted February 11, 2001 Share Posted February 11, 2001 Originally posted by PeterNZer: two things. some drivel You forgot the third thing-- that I am kicking you're little kiwi ass from here to next tuesday. It's like there's some kind of warp in the space time continuum, because everytime you do something it turns out that one turn before I've set everything up to keep you from doing it successfully. Ooops... I wasn't supposed to tell anybody about the spatiotemporal CM warp engine...dammit...there I go again. Anyway, by the time you read this you'll have had another attack (actually two of them) foiled. It must suck to be you. ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted February 12, 2001 Share Posted February 12, 2001 WTF. This thing is two posts from page 2. Friday there's dueling lawyers all day (two pages worth, and they don't even start a game--typical), and then on the weekend there's all of about 2 posts. Did the lawyers scare everybody off? They're not even real lawyers- one's a real estate agent, and the other is Newt Gingrich. ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted February 12, 2001 Share Posted February 12, 2001 Here is my token post for this week. The gods who hate me saw fit to release me from employment so I sit and search. Peng ignores me and is justified in doing so because of my ineffeciency in this game. 7 months later, and he still won't play me. I know that I'm simply not worthy and will stop asking now. The only joy I can get these days is by playing with myself. I don't have the energy to abhor any of you. I don't have the intellect to write something witty. In fact, I don't have much at all in my feeble existance. Kiss your families and be grateful for your lives. There's the advice from your uncle Hiram. When I look in the mirror, I am grateful for one thing; I don't look like Peng. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal [This message has been edited by Hiram Sedai (edited 02-11-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted February 12, 2001 Share Posted February 12, 2001 Originally posted by chrisl: WTF. This thing is two posts from page 2. Friday there's dueling lawyers all day (two pages worth, and they don't even start a game--typical), and then on the weekend there's all of about 2 posts. Did the lawyers scare everybody off? They're not even real lawyers- one's a real estate agent, and the other is Newt Gingrich. This bit of uncalled for libel justifies a game update of my present Sunday stroll in the park where I am turning Chrisl into Gristle at an alarming rate. We are at the mid-point of a game where nothing works for him except his 155mm mouth. I admit that things did start poorly for Krisl as he performed a most determined assault directly upon my AP minefield, setting off the fireworks going forward, and then again going backwards as my MG stung the heels of his retreating scared GI's. But for most of this battle, I thought KrislGristle was really playing Age of Empires as he instituted a siege of my German citadel for 10+ turns, sitting at the gates and doing nothing but waiting and firing a few pot shots. Then I saw that he was in fact portraying Joshua at the gates of Jericho as his men marched around and around my fortified town hoping for the walls to collapse or somefink. In either case, it has not worked, to put it mildly. My Germs get a little target practice as his Indians whoop and holler running around the outskirts of the real objectives. He ain't even in the suburbs yet. Tell BTS to put in a graves registration unit for Gristle, so he can load up on something useful to employ in his plan of "attack". ------------------ Some days the sun just don't shine up a dog's behind. -- Catfish Hunter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 12, 2001 Share Posted February 12, 2001 Croda's Folly Update... When last we saw our intrepid Cromagnon boy, the former squire who would never be kniggeted he was attemping to try the big is better approach to taking out his former liege and master. Well in this new world of equality and Schoppenheimer, some verities remain. With 6500 pts at his disposal on the attack former and current whiping boy pushed the attack as various updates have attested. I took advantage of the failure of most of you useless wanks and gits in not getting your turns to me to tally up the carnage. Now as a compassionate and understanding Master, I never spared the rod nor spoiled him. I drummed into him the need to have at least 2-1 advantage at the point of attack. 2-1 al right but in the wrong direction. Based on battlefield observations 2/3 thru our game, Croda has at least 302 confirmed losses, 70 more probable kia's. He has lost 4 M3A1's, 1 M4A3, 4 M-18's, 1 M4A3(76)W, 2 M4's and 2 trucks. My reported losses are 148 and 1 20mm gun. Ya know it's almost criminal to feel good about doing this to him, but I will soldier on. As to the rest of ya, get those turns in as I do not owe anyone turns at this time. ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted February 12, 2001 Share Posted February 12, 2001 Lorak, the Peng 700 point rematch game has been played. Please let the record show a draw Peng-draw Elvis-draw ------------------ "When they finally put you in the ground..I'll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down" Elvis Costello Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted February 12, 2001 Share Posted February 12, 2001 Lorak- Please come up with a new symbol for your site to denote wussiness. The wuss symbol should be applied to any player who refuses to return turns to another pool member without a bona fide* reason for not doing so. Perhaps a numerical wussiness rating to show the level of wussiness that a pooler has obtained would be best, i.e. Seanachai (¥2). The yen (¥) symbol is used here to denote the 'yellow' inference and should not be seen as a slur on anyone who actually trades in this currency. If there was a umlaut 'w' I would have used that. People Who Have Attained Wuss Factors: Peng (¥4) - forgot the password, what kinda excuse is that? This has got to be the mating call of the wuss. Elvis (¥4) - won't send a turn unless you velcro his ass to a seat and play tcp/ip. Hiram (¥2) - acheiving wussification through association with Peng and Elvis Maybe there is some latent wussiness in the whole PA area - who knows. *see legal counsel for clarification [This message has been edited by Goanna (edited 02-11-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted February 12, 2001 Share Posted February 12, 2001 Originally posted by Goanna: Lorak- Please inspect my uterus. *see legal counsel for clarification Oh won't you please re send your last turn so I might hand you your hind quarters? thanks ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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