Go tell the Outerboards, Stranger,That Here Obedient to Their Laws We Challenged Peng

[BFCElvis]

I will be heading over soon as well (although it is only a block from where I live). Just wanted to mention other cities that have bars that anyone can meet up with us on line at:

Chicago, Edinburgh, Atlanta, San Francisco, Vancouver, Toronto, Brussels and Budapest.

It would be cool if there were a lot of us at any of these places....If not you can get Hiram/Phillyboy and I loaded for 7 bucks pop..Which puts a thought in my little head...Steve, Matt, Charles, Dan..This wouldbe a great way to say "Thank you"...OK you already did that by making the game...you can't blame a guy for trying.

[David Aitken]

dalem has performed a cunning and brilliantly orchestrated rout. I fired at his troops, I charged his positions, his troops ran away. My diversionary two-platoon attack routed two larger enemy platoons and permanently secured the main objective.

My main force of four platoons was left to sweep around the left flank and shake dalem's monkey-men out of the trees. With his survivors galloping back to Iowa as fast as their four limbs will carry them, he was left with little choice but to surrender and hope that they would evolve sufficiently in the next sixty years to understand just how hard I kicked his bum.

My veteran Sicherung troops march up to dalem's regular American 45 squads' table and take 84 points off their plates, leaving them with 16 which they gladly accept, thanking my men for not taking their guns and ammunition as well.

[BFCElvis]

Me and phhhhhhhhhaggan juusssttss gotttter baaacckk ffffffrfrrooommm thhhhhhhhhe e bar .eeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaafddfaa bopuightt uusssus dsosssomm e beerrss........ssoooooooooo dddiiiiiiioj apaawwbeeeaarer and leeeeeeeeeeeeoonn thhhhhhhhhhaankknss guuuuuyss frrrrrrrrrommmmm tyhhhhhhhhhhe ebeereres.

The preceding was intended to express my thanks and PhillyPhans thanks for the beers that Y2K, PawBroon and Leeon purchased for us the afternoon. A good time was had by all and no one got hurt. Also, it should be mentioned that Phans girlfriend ponyed up a couple of beers for us herself and should be thanked as well.

[BFCElvis]

Let the record show that after of beer orgy Hiram and I played a hotseat game to a draw.

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

dalem has performed a cunning and brilliantly orchestrated rout. I fired at his troops, I charged his positions, his troops ran away. My diversionary two-platoon attack routed two larger enemy platoons and permanently secured the main objective.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Lies! All lies! I, umm, I meant to run away! Besides, my mouse was dirty and the sun was in my eyes.

So there.

[Mark IV]

So. Today, instead of sending you all turns, I have been playtesting my first-ever homemade scenario, a real-live defense in depth thingie with a river crossing and bombs and bullets and stuff. It was... sanguine.

Then I actually clicked like an idiot on the "See elvis dating Hiram" link and the ingrates were gone already. Typical East Coast lightweights.

But, mirabile dictu, I chatted with Hiram's alleged girlfriend instead, who was looking for the little tramp online. She impersonated a female quite convincingly. She is onegoodegg. Perhaps I will let him kill a small vehicle for the enjoyable conversation.

Next time send me a bottle of scotch in advance, and I'll rig up a cam here at home and buy you beers. At $7 a glass, I want something up front.

[MrPeng]

Is this thing on? test test one two test test check one check two check,

Ahem {brackets miss brackets}, AAAAHEM!

I have a theory and what it is too, that I shall begin to tell you about very soon.

Until that time I will tell you that I will be trolling along looking for action at around 10 pm eastern time tonight. Yes yes yes I am breaking the ground rules, but this is MY effing thread and if anyone doesn't like it they can go tell Seanachai *snicker*

So, I am a total TCP whore and must get a fix soon or very very bad things will start to happen.

That's 10 pm eastern time in the good ol USof Arseholes {like ethernaljustpiss}, worms and girls, so don't be late, my ICQ number and AIM thingy are on display - use them or lose them it matters not, just meet me at the predetermined time co-ordinates and prepare to either die a lot or kill a lot.

If you happen to be one of the filthy swine whith whom I am currently at hazard via bloody hateful horrid PBEM games this would be an excellent time to clear them up like oxy10 on an adolescent's pimply face.

If you are a scum sucking newbie and want to see what all the fuss of a "loss to Peng" is all about, piss off, I don't play scum sucking newbies, at least not the latest crop, filthy little buggers with their smelly foriegn cooking and their nasty brutish foreheads.

FACTS!

42. Scum Sucking Newbies are inferior to elder pooligans because they are not elder pooligans (I. M. Uhghly, SSN's and the Myth of Equality 1936, Bastard Press)

B. Scum Sucking Newbies are in the pocket of the Liberal Scum Sucking Media. (Connie Spiracy, SSNs are in the Pocket of the Liberal Media 1999, Paranoid Magazine, {a subsidiary of Idiot Publishing})

7. Scum Sucking Newbies should be shipped back whence they came, because a very famous old dead white man said they should.

11. Scum Sucking Newbies have big fat heads and are therefore stupid. Since they are stupid with their big fat heads, we should hate all of them forever and either enslave them which is illegal or deport them. Sure wish we could enslave them but the damn liberals and the conservatives get upset about that idea, and they are sooooo stupid with their big fat heads that no other country will take them. ITS A FACT! I READ IT IN A BOOK (Gene Poole, Big Fat Heads Make You Stupid and Its Genetic, 1973, Grande Capeza Magazine, Mike Crow Cephalon, Ed.)

B3.7~2 Anyone who argues with me must automatically love SSNs and is therefore a worthless pile of dung because he (or she) is obviously also in the pocket of the liberal scum sucking newbie loving media and should have his (or her) head examined immediately by Dr Mengele or one of his (or her) close personal friends (ethernaljustice, Anyone Who Argues with Me Must Automatically Love SSNs and is Therefore a Worthless Pile of Dung Because He (or She) is Obviously Also in the Pocket of the Liberal Scum Sucking Newbie Loving Media and Should have His (or Her) Head Examined (or Removed) Immediately by Dr Mengele or One of His (or Her) Close Personal Friends, 2001 Iman Arse Press.)

That is why I will not play against any scum sucking newbies. You know I am right, you are all just afraid to voice your true opinions because the thought police will kick your door in.

The truth hurts

Peng

[Stalin's Organ]

Pong, let's face it...the reason you don't play SSN's is that you are AFRAID of losing.

Imagine the collective horror of,...well.....of Pong, when he losses to a SSN. Like the lower life form he his, Pong has managed to figure that much out, so now avoids SSN's.

Don't mistake this for intelligence - it's about the same level as a worm that avoids the light - it's hurts his ego, so he avoids it. Simple causality really, as shown by Organ et al: Why Pong is afraid of losing to SSN's, exposure of a scared nematode in inaction, Plumbing the Depths Press, Wellington, 4 June 2001

[ 06-03-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[ 06-03-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Phillies Phan]

Hola mi companeros. Yo so drunk as a proverbial skunk. Sorry we missed you Mark IV but you were entirely too late. You could have pushed your dog off your lap, pulled your pants up, and gone to the computer earlier.

I got a draw against Elvis

Lets stop and think about that for awhile. I knew something was awry when were hotseating and he stopped taunting me. It went from, "you are so dead" to "well, you might win"

Mucho grass ass to Senor Elvis for his hospitality once more. He was the consumate host. I am seconds from passing out.

Further more, I would like to pontificate upon the following points:

1. Peng is a gamey bastard

c. Mark IV is gay

4a. Emma and Pawbroon rock!

Go Phillies!!

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

Pong, let's face it...the reason you don't play SSN's is that you are AFRAID of losing.

Imagine the collective horror of,...well.....of Pong, when he losses to a SSN. Like the lower life form he his, Pong has managed to figure that much out, so now avoids SSN's.

Don't mistake this for intelligence - it's about the same level as a worm that avoids the light - it's hurts his ego, so he avoids it. Simple causality really, as shown by Organ et al: Why Pong is afraid of losing to SSN's, exposure of a scared nematode in inaction, Plumbing the Depths Press, Wellington, 4 June 2001

[ 06-03-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[ 06-03-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Q: What do you get when you cross a potato with a thingy?

A: A Dictator.

If you check the Lorak site and look at my record you will note that I have absolutely no fear of losing. I have far too many losses to fear that particular outcome. No, what I fear from people like you is the inter-play banter, the mind-numblingly retarded idiot drivel to which I am certain I will be subjected, that has me dead set against playing this year's model of SSN.

I was recently asked if I had it all to do over again would I marry my wife? To which I replied, "Certainly, right after I jam a sharp stick into my eye!" Would I play a scum sucking newbie like you? Sorry, I don't have any sharp sticks around.

See you at ten if you have any cajones

Peng

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Pray for me, 'poolers.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The collective prayers of the 'pool have worked!

The evil Churchill VIII of Seanichoowey has been dispatched to valhalla by the valiant MKIV of my good self.

A '13% Hit', 'Low Kill' shot has 'sploded the Brit tin top in lots of pwetty colours.

Snoopy's left flank is now a little shakey as my MKIV can now lend support to the beleagured infantry that are fighting and dieing for the fatherland in the woods around the left VL.

Minor skirmishing still occurrs along the rest of the front while his remaining Comet and A/C cannot be goaded out of cover for love nor money as rumour has it..."There's Hetzers in them thar hills!"

[David Aitken]

Leeo and I have finally slogged to a conclusion. This is the battle where, you may recall, I was rearraging the scenery with three batteries of 25lb artillery. I didn't get as far as rearranging his troops, only suggesting that I might prefer them dead.

The infantry battle was as you might expect for a roughed-up Sturmkompanie versus a British rifle company – more or less equal. The tank battle was more of a spectacle – two of the long-barreled JgPz IV's and two Hetzers squaring up against three Challengers and two Fireflies. Leeo's marksmen spoiled the day for my TC's, but despite some AI floundering I came out on top with two intact Challengers (one with the TC suffering cranial lead poisoning) and an immobile Firefly.

The two Challengers unknowingly had adversaries in the form of two surviving 50mm AT guns. One gun gave itself away killing a Humber and was introduced to some 76mm HE. The other wasn't spotted at all, and on the last turn caused internal armour flaking in the Challenger which hit another crewman, and the rest elected to abandon ship.

Most of the infantry cancelled each other out, and I refrained from bagging the second 300pt VL (which had been guarded only by the ex-AT gun) with my Challenger, ensuring a draw of 38-44 magnitude in Leeo's favour.

I'll get you next time, Gadget, next time...

[Guest Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

Just wanted to mention other cities that have bars that anyone can meet up with us on line at:

Chicago, Edinburgh, Atlanta, San Francisco, Vancouver, Toronto...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

There's no way I'm reading eleven pages of Pengification to find out what that's about, so enlighten me by email, if you would be so kind, so I can arrange to be out of town or something.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

Is this thing on? test test one two test test check one check two check,

Ahem {brackets miss brackets}, AAAAHEM!...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That, ya old sod, just got added to the Word of Peng

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

et al

Peng<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well said.

[Guest Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

That, ya old sod, just got added to the Word of Peng<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

If Peng is already the word (or one of the words), how can there be a word of the word? I'm very confused.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Babra:

If Peng is already the word (or one of the words), how can there be a word of the word? I'm very confused.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Babs, this is because it's greater than all of us!

Mace

[Guest Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

Babs, this is because it's greater than all of us!

Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, that's it then. I want to be greatest. Please do whatever you do to crash the forum again, so I can change my nick one more time. I think I'll go with Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-b'tang-zoomboing-zimbamnyeh.

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

If you check the Lorak site and look at my record you will note that I have absolutely no fear of losing. I have far too many losses to fear that particular outcome. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So..I got a word wrong...Pong is dead scared of WINNING - he fears it so much that he avoids the natural prey of experienced hunters..instead giving his throat to the wolf with the red rose....oops...sorry....wrong fantasy.......

Anyway - Ping is obviously a self-sacrificing philanthropist - helping people increase their scores and ratings......now THAT'S disgusting!!

With a hobby like that he's probably distantly related to the Fillies Fanny too.........

[Sten]

MrPeng, you are one funny guy. Your posts always crack me up.

The EthenalJustice slam was brilliant.

Thanks.

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Sten wrote:

MrPeng, you are one funny guy. Your posts always crack me up.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeech, what is this, the Peng Sycophancy Thread?

[Leeo]

Aitken and I once again killed many guys to little prupose or effect. More proof that war is hell, especially if you happen to suffer the fate of those unlucky enough to be drafted into my cadre of digital dead. Anyhoo, we managed to arrive at a Pyrrhic Draw. So, we'll have to go at it again, I'm sure, until Aitken can finally beat me.

Lorak, ya lost scribe (someone should be sent on a quest to locate that fellow), please chisel thusly.

David Aitken: Uber-gamey Draw.

Leeo: Able to snatch a draw from the jaws of defeat, and to kill/have killed many-many men.

The score gave me the nod, but I had more casualties and more KIA. Bloody-damn woods fighting.

Edited because.

[ 06-04-2001: Message edited by: Leeo ]

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Yeech, what is this, the Peng Sycophancy Thread?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey man, lay off The Swedish Beta Tester. He can write whatever he wants. Even if I agree that that was a bloody awful thing to write.

Sten, there are plenty of places on the web to be nice on. This is not one of them.

[Sten]

Never mind me.

I must be about as worthless as humans get. After all, I spend part of each day looking at a bunch of guys sitting in a pool of cess, right?

I could jump right in there with them, but no, I'm too pitiful even for that. I tremble with fear just thinking about mingling with people who has a full *pair* (or at least sound like they do), wheras mine are too small to be counted in discreet measures.

And to top it off, I actually find it funny!

I really have to get myself one of those life-thingies.

[David Aitken]

This from SuperTed's thread...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Rommel22 wrote:

I have a small site, nothing really much on it. But I am proud of it, and the fact I made it all by myself using HTML.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This comes as a shock to those of us who spent weeks training our pet dogs/hamsters/sheep to build our websites for us using carboard and sticky tape.