Herr Oberst Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Who IS this Lard Generic MB and what does the MB stand for ... Mega Butt, Massive Bore, Missing Brain? ... Joe<hr></blockquote> Reprising an earlier post, I believe that the Lord General MB is asking for some Mo' Bubba Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hanns: Okay, when will one of you ... highly esteemed, defenders of all that is 'Cess Kniggety pillocks send me a setup to crush this SSN with?<hr></blockquote> Comin' at ya. You two will be the first to playtest-- I mean, uh, enjoy the finely-crafted scenario goodness of Croda's Escape. All the tactical subtlety of Crodaburg, but on a much smaller map and far shorter. It may even be better balanced, so look alive if you're to crush this whelp properly (which happens in the AARs and DARs of course (posted regularly to The Thread for our edification and enjoyment, of course)). Agua Perdido [That's right, I edited a four-line post. Got a problem with that?] [ 11-13-2001: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted November 13, 2001 Author Share Posted November 13, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>It may even be better balanced, so look alive if you're to crush this whelp properly (which happens in the AARs and DARs of course (posted regularly to The Thread for our edification and enjoyment, of course)).<hr></blockquote> {sigh} Well if you must, you must I suppose Agua. It would have been better had we actually chased the little blighter off before he caused MORE brain damage (just READING his posts can do that) but I suppose ... More for his benefit than for Hamms (who shows at least a modicum of wit ... far less than a HALF of a wit mind but still we take what we can get), said AARs and DARs should be ENTERTAINING and should give us SOME reason to believe that we would actually want to keep him around instead of our usual course of pulling the damn plug and letting the floaty bits whirl away into oblivion ... and as CessPool Drain Commissioner I KNOW how to do that. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGMB Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 Soldiers, And if I am not your king, then who is? The foolish "Jucticator" perhaps? The cabbage reeking Peng? I ask you. Who be thy lord, and champion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Hiram Sedai Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 Dude, shut up already. I had to stop lurking long enough to say that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by TheGitWhoWouldBeKing: Who be thy lord?<hr></blockquote> We don't have a lord. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of "executive officer" for the week, but all decisions of that executive must be ratified by a simple majority vote in the case of purely internal affairs, and a two-thirds-- Oh, wait, my mistake. What I meant was: SOD OFF! Agua Perdido Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lord General MB: Soldiers, And if I am not your king, then who is? The foolish "Jucticator" perhaps? The cabbage reeking Peng? I ask you. Who be thy lord, and champion?<hr></blockquote> My Mom told me I shouldn't stare. It isn't always easy, is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted November 13, 2001 Author Share Posted November 13, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Agua Perdido: We don't have a lord. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of "executive officer" for the week, but all decisions of that executive must be ratified by a simple majority vote in the case of purely internal affairs, and a two-thirds-- Oh, wait, my mistake. What I meant was: SOD OFF! Agua Perdido<hr></blockquote>{wiping a tear of joy, pride and yes, humor from his eye} Ah Agua you were always the best you know, the first and the finest of my squires and you have proven your mettle here again ... mind you your PBEM turns are slower than slow but this post lad, this post is ... SHEER GENIUS! My hat's off to you lad, well done. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roborat Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 Well, at least he managed to spell cabbage right this time. Probably has his mother helping him to hit the right keys. Hey Speedy are you going to send that last turn, I would like to see if my score managed to break 10. edited to commend Aqua on his post, I was just typing a similar post but you beat me to it, good job. [ 11-13-2001: Message edited by: Roborat ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Roborat: edited to commend Aqua on his post, I was just typing a similar post but you beat me to it, good job. [ 11-13-2001: Message edited by: Roborat ]<hr></blockquote> Aye, Ah were typin' an' even *better* post, whain Aguardo Festerin' Snot-gobblin' Furry Poo On a Stick Pergido Pogo de Bum Bum beat mae to at. Bastaaarrd. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted November 13, 2001 Author Share Posted November 13, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Aye, Ah were typin' an' even *better* post...<hr></blockquote> Now I beg leave to doubt that OGSF, to my mind Agua's post was perfect and could NOT have been improved upon. Mind you I'd be happy to be proven wrong, perhaps all those who saw the gaping opening that Lard Generous MB provided would care to post THEIR best effort? It occurs to me that perhaps Lard Generous is simply playing straight man to Agua. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 * Herr Oberst leaps up onto a rock* "Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your..." "Oh damn, wrong speech... Anyhoo, I've had a pissy day here at work, and feel feisty..." "Listen up ya gits!" "Perhaps we have misjudged this Lord General MountBatten, or, dare I say it, Lord General Mo' Bubba. We harry him about the quality of his posts, and indeed even his name. Well, let me put this to you. A search of his early elementary school records yields this small nugget of information. He has suffered from mild dyslexia since birth, and is wont to confuse his letters. His true name is Lord General BM, or more verbosely, Lord General Bowel Movement." * the crowd sniggers * "I bold those words for emphasis, not to convey any hint of Kaniggetly Rank. It has been quite a long time since we had anything even remotely resembling a Lord around here..." "True, back when the Cess was still fresh, many looked upon those Eldest of the Elders, Ping-Pong and Seana-choo-choo, as something like Lords." "Why I myself, more than once, muttered under my breath words akin to 'Oh Lord' while reading their posts, sometimes chuckling with mirth, or alternately, writhing in pain at the quality of their posts and ripostes." "Yea, at times I miss those days of yore. So what say you? Could the Cesspool stand a new vintage of Lord? Are you with me!?!" * the crowd grumbles * "After all, it has been quite some time since we had a hanging! Or a drawing and quartering!" "You know what I likes best about those Lords? I like the way their heads bounce and sometimes miss the wicker basket after the guillotine has lopped them off their necks!" "So what say ye, shall we tolerate this Lord General Bowel Movement as our one true Lord and Sovereign, at least for as long as it takes to run him up the steps to the execution block?!?" "I fancy his head will make quite a splash in the Cesspool when its lopped off!" * the crowd cheers, and grabbing all sorts of wooden farm implements, heads off in Lord General BM's direction * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: "So what say ye, shall we tolerate this Lord General Bowel Movement as our one true Lord and Sovereign, at least for as long as it takes to run him up the steps to the execution block?!?"<hr></blockquote> Ok, I did some cost benefit analysis about this, factoring in client (ie us) perceptions and running it through systems dynamic models supported by associated cash flows. It's cheaper if we just execute him! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 ...and just as enjoyable! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 Ah expect Mensch will bae along shortly tae annoonce haes anticipated topplemaint which ha' noo come tae fruition. Which as tae sae, "Oi moiderated da bum!" Boxed tha buggers ears! Laid aboot tha swine wi' tha flat o' mah claymore! Kicked hais spotty arse aintae tha nearest ditch an' expectorated ain has general diraiction! Extracted hais large aintestine throo hais right nostril wi' a crotchet hook! Saint haim tae tha hardware store tae buy a laift-handed screw-driver! Braided hasi hair an' then bunged haim ain tha' eye wi' a chamber pot o'er-brimmin' wi' hais oon effluent! Sat haim under a heavy oak table an' played hais national anthaim! Taped hais trooser laigs shut wi' duct tape an' force fed haim stewed prunes an' rhubarb! Saint haim fer a long walk on a short pier! Pointed mah farrrty span'ls bum at haim! Wha hay tha noo! SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapdragon Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hanns: Okay, when will one of you pillocks, oops I mean highly esteemed, defenders of all that is 'Cess Kniggety pillocks send me a setup to crush this SSN with? How can I ever advance to Senior SSN without a feckin' setup with which to stomp this Lard General with? C'mon, throw me a bone or somefink! Hey, that'd be a swank name for a setup. I think I'll send Lard Guzzler a setup by this name. Feh, wankers.<hr></blockquote> Ok you noisey bastard. I have sent you a set up to play with the idgit Lord General Mistrer Bore. The winner gets.... nuthing. However, post a few screen shots and some entertaining play by play and color, and maybe, just maybe, Joe Shaw{/b[ will agree to uriniate on you. I doubt LGMB has the cahunas to play this one, it is pretty tough, but give it a wirl. Challenge him in the best kmightly fashion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 I feel quite violated...I drew in the game with Joe Shaw! Perhaps it was that white fluffy ground covering, it just kept distracting me and my soldaten. Mrs Lorak, since hubby's away doing his bit, please not this for his return: Justicar Joe Shaw (bad guy): draw Mace (good guy, perhaps the best good guy in the whole world): draw Mace PS Just a note: is there any correlation between the Taliban fleeing in droves and the very discussion we had here about Lorak baring his behind? I like to think we cesspoolers are paying some part in the obviously impending victory! [ 11-14-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF: Ah expect Mensch will bae along shortly tae annoonce haes anticipated topplemaint which ha' noo come tae fruition. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy<hr></blockquote> Well what do you know I well forgot my password!! silly me! Har Har Har. hmm looks like this one is lost to the annals of Absent mindednessess es... Just kidding I'm figuring out how to attach this virus to the PBEM before I send it to Mr. Loudmouth. I used to have a kitty cat but after that crazy glue accident I have a permenant fuzzy mess on my Living Room table, which after 6 days it stopped a meowing up a storm, 3 days after that it started to smell a whole lot worse then my Tennis shoes and just 2 days later I have a whole lot of new flies as house pets. Hardest part is training the new flies to use the Kitty litter properly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted November 14, 2001 Author Share Posted November 14, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>I feel quite violated...I drew in the game with Joe Shaw! Perhaps it was that white fluffy ground covering, it just kept distracting me and my soldaten.<hr></blockquote> YOU feel violated? After my brilliant defense against overwhelming odds on a map (it must be map, it's what the troops were moving around on) created by Goanna who is ... well ... Goanna, and the best the stupid game gives me is a crummy DRAW! And against YOU! Just one word of advice, if you're going to mount a GAMEY LAST MINUTE FLAG RUSH and you're some distance away from said flag, you may want to start moving BEFORE the last minute. I DO, however, subscribe to your Lorak theory about the sudden collapse of the Taliban. It's the only thing that makes sense. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: ... I DO, however, subscribe to your Lorak theory about the sudden collapse of the Taliban. It's the only thing that makes sense. Joe<hr></blockquote> What is a little known fact here in the US is that the good guy forces mounted an operation (DON'T MAKE ME SMACK YOU BAUHAUS!) called Afgani Thunder. This involved our dear Lorak, several pounds of hot and spicy pork chili, and a rather large cork. The last large rumbles heard off in the distance by the Northern Aliance forces prior to the Taliban retreat were not bombs dropped by B-52's. No sir, it was our good Lorak, on an undercover mission with Special Forces in their HazMat gear. The elf had finally built enough internal pressure to, well, expel the cork, and you, er, you get the picture. This loud rumble and one lit match were enough to convince the Taliban that they'd best head elsewhere. [edited because he deserves to be bolded] [ 11-14-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted November 14, 2001 Author Share Posted November 14, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>This loud rumble and one lit match were enough to convince the Taliban that they'd best head elsewhere.<hr></blockquote> Ah yes, the dreaded F.A.E. (Fart Air Explosive) ... explains a lot. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 Just to let you all know I did my good deed for the day and single-handedly got the "King Tiger's Modeled Correctly" thread locked. No need for applause. All in a days work. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 Hey Loud Mouth!! ya you!! the funny floppy eared guy who is racking up our scores!!! OGDSBASTARDJIMMY : win Mensch : loss (technically I won by pulling out 1/2 my forces off the board but BTS couldn't design the codes for that in time.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by mensch: Hey Loud Mouth!! ya you!! the funny floppy eared guy who is racking up our scores!!! <hr></blockquote> Read above Mensch, that wasn't Lorak's mouth making all the noise! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted November 15, 2001 Share Posted November 15, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> We don't have a lord. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of "executive officer" for the week, but all decisions of that executive must be ratified by a simple majority vote in the case of purely internal affairs, and a two-thirds-- <hr></blockquote> Yes, very good. In the interests of the education of the masses, lets have the scene in its entirety shall we? *A damp, English heathland, King Arthur and his loyal squire approach a ragged figure hauling a small wagon.....* "Old woman..." "Man!" "Man, sorry" "What Knight lives in that castle over there?" "I'm 37" "What?" "I'm 37, I'm not old" "Well I can't just call you 'man'" "You could say 'Dennis'" "I didn't know you were called Dennis" "Well you didn't bother to find out did you?" "I did say sorry about the old woman, but from behind you looked..." "What I object to is the way you automatically treat me like an inferior" "Well I am King" "Oh King eh? Very nice, and how do you get that eh? By exploiting the workers, by hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If theres ever going to be any progress..." "Dennis! Theres some lovely filth down here...Oh! How do you do?" "How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Whose castle is that?" "King of the who?" "The Britons" "Who are the 'Britons'?" "Well, we all are, we are all 'Britons' and I am your King" "I didn't know we had a king, I thought we were an autonomous collective" "Your'e fooling yourself, we're living in a dictatorship, a self perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes..." "Oh there you go again, bringing class into it again" "Well thats what its all about if only people would realise" "Please, please good people, I am in haste,who lives in that castle?" "No-one lives there" "Then who is your lord?" "We don't have a lord" "What?" "I told you, we are an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special..." "Yes, I see" "...bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs..." "Be quiet" "...or by a 2/3 majority in the case of..." "Be quiet!, I order you to be quiet!" "Order eh? Who does he think he is?" "I am your King" "Well I didn't vote for you" "You don't vote for Kings" "Well how do you become King then?" "The lady of the lake, her arm clad in the purest, shimmering saemite, held aloft Excalibar from the bosom of the water signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur was to carry Excalibar, that is why I am your King" "Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government, supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony" "Be quiet!" "You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you" "Shut up!" "I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away" "Shut up! will you shut up!" "Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system" "Shut up!" "Come and see the violence inherent in the system!, Help! Help!, I'm being repressed!" "Bloody peasent!" "Oh!, what a give away, do you hear that? Did you hear that eh? Thats what I'm on about, did you see him repressing me? You saw it did'nt you?" *Curtain closes* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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