My MG's Can't Run Fast Enough for the Peng Challenge

[Leeo]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Useless Dreck

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'd really like to read this vast tome of brain-droppings, but I've got to clean my toe-nails now.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo:

I'd really like to read this vast tome of brain-droppings, but I've got to clean my toe-nails now.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Glad to see you've arrived at an intellectual level where you're comfortable. Don't go too deep and pierce the 'quick' underneath the nail. Your right to mental sloth and manic-depressive personal grooming are the means by which you are allowed to thoroughly 'define' yourself. Perhaps someone will start up a 'special' competition, funded by industry, patronized by celebrities, and smiled upon by the populace, which allows you to achieve self-actualization through your program of avoiding the writings of your betters, while touching yourself for hours on end in ways that may make people uncomfortable on the bus, but doesn't cause them to call the police.

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Now as some members of this is ill-esteemed body probably know, I have, over the years, been working on a compilation of my essays... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh. I thought this post might be it. But then, I thought that about the last 32, as well. There were a couple of yucks here... thus meriting a two-line post.

Of course, war on Australia is a commendable goal in itself. The deeply bored will recall that the Boardies themselves prodded this decomposing hypothesis until it burst, and noxious fumes slew several participants, which is even more commendable. We know that a single Digger could have licked a dozen uberFinns before whatever they call breakfast, but their currency is still cheap jewelry and they remain an example of what could happen to Canadians if it ever thawed up there.

At any rate, M. Seanachai, the requisite forces are conscripted and eager to see the map. Given your customary rate of return, I expect we'll be nestled into our foxholes (we are attacking, but the IVtruppen must use the time profitably to keep their edge) by September.

Mind the brumbies in the billabong, they bite.

[Lawyer]

I think Seanachai's Australia post is brilliant. I'd never quite put it all together as he has. I do think he missed the point that Australia is not historically correct, and thus should be fixed by BTS. For example, units should be able to run while carrying Australia.

The whole Aussie syntax thing on creative references to puking is absolute genius.

Also, I now understand from the length of said post why Seanachai can't be bothered to send game turns.

Thanks for being you, Mr. Folkie.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>units should be able to run while carrying Australia.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh I think that the rest of the world, particularly the USA, has been CARRYING Australia for some time now.

We kept them from being overrun by the Japanese in WW2 after the Australian Middle Command (let's not give them more credit than they deserve) decided the best way to defend Australia was to send all their guys to NORTH AFRICA!

We have propped up their economy by watching (with more or less interest) the three (THREE for the love of Gawd) Crocodile Dundee movies and the interminable Crocodile Hunter series on TV (Crickey mate, I've got to be VERY careful here, she's a naughty little girl she is ... Terri ... can you change the baby's diaper?)

We here in the CessPool have done our part by allowing people like {shudder} Mace into the Pool ... I'd mention the others but it's a bit early in the day here and my stomach can't handle much upset.

What's my point ... I'm not sure but then I re-read Seanachai's post and I'm ... a little confused right now.

Joe

[Mark IV]

Also, the rotation speed for Australia is incorrect. You give them a case of bad beer, wait an hour and a half, and the sub-continent starts spinning around them.

The Thread should be prepared for a startling announcement... a small band of intrepid IViors may shortly succumb to Army Group Peng, earning the dreaded Asterisk of Shame.

The poor lads are Amis, defending against an assault of Barbarossa proportions. The key to his success has been to have so many units on the map, that he has been unable to attempt tactics of any kind, as there is no room for them to do anything but march shoulder to shoulder over my positions. Thus removed from his control, their AI has performed creditably by continuing to shoot in my direction. His tanks are coated with Zook-No-More, he purchased 30 turns worth of large artillery, and the Pod Wave has absorbed most of my ammo. Still, I make no excuse, but fight to the last cartridge, and beat on the hulls of his Panzer Armee with tiny digital fists.

I could never hate him as much as Geier but I am willing to make an effort.

[Buzzsaw]

Well, that treacherous Lars is making mincemeat out of my attacking forces in Crodaberg. Goddamn pillboxes. I wonder what the turn one record is for AFV losses. I might have broken it. I am pretty sure he is only using about one quarter of his force to hold back my mad assault.

I did find the scenario briefing amusing. Does this mean that there is another scenario from Croda that features the Seanachai river (as mentioned in the Crodaberg briefing)? Something tells me that I don’t want to know about the headwaters.

MrSpkr

So Lars may be able to get the upper hand when attacking from pillboxes a top and 200 meter cliff. Can you or one of your squires take me in a manly Meeting Engagement? I think not! You are a cowardly cur; I hope that you catch a hantavirus from snorting powdered hamster droppings.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Oh I think that the rest of the world, particularly the USA, has been CARRYING Australia for some time now.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Actually, Australia *Kneels*, is not only the centre of World, but the centre of the Cosmos!

In fact, the Cosmos revolves around Australia! At least it seems like it when ya'v downed a few (translation: partaken of too much beer).

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>We kept them from being overrun by the Japanese in WW2 after the Australian Middle Command (let's not give them more credit than they deserve) decided the best way to defend Australia was to send all their guys to NORTH AFRICA!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ya nong (translation: You stupid person), We had to slap around the Vichy French at Syria, then stop Jerry in the Western Desert (gave him a clip around the ears at Tobruk, and then stomped on Rommel's corns at El Alemain), then lickity split rush back to Australia to bash Tojo around the ears as he tried to Capture Port Moresby (what the 'ell for, it's a hole?!!).

We then found out that the American's wanted to get into the war in a big way, so we said "yeh, alright mate! You do do the hard slog and we'll take it easy downing a few down the beach". (translation: Ok. You attack all the well defended, heavily defended, Japanese held islands. We'll buy a few bottles of beer, enjoy the sun and the beaches, and let YOU do all the fighting)

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>We have propped up their economy by watching (with more or less interest) the three (THREE for the love of Gawd) Crocodile Dundee movies and the interminable Crocodile Hunter series on TV (Crickey mate, I've got to be VERY careful here, she's a naughty little girl she is ... Terri ... can you change the baby's diaper?)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The Crocodile Hunter is old hat! There is a new force out in TV land and that person is Russel Coight. We look forward to recieving more economic stimulus as the North American's stay glued to the telly (translation: Watch the tube) to see the glory that is Russell!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>We here in the CessPool have done our part by allowing people like {shudder} Mace into the Pool ... I'd mention the others but it's a bit early in the day here and my stomach can't handle much upset.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And the Australian Community would like to thank you. If it wasn't for the MBT, there would be a band of Aussie CMers wandering the streets and harrassing the populace while looking for a PBEM.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I'm ... a little confused right now.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm disappointed..that..that is so easy to respond to that I won't even try (However, I'm sure some of my collegues may wish to, and I won't stand in their way).

Mace

(editted to fix those stupid little HTML thingies)

[ 08-05-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Panzer Leader]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

(translation: Watch the tube) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Tube? Oh, you mean ol' One Eye!

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

When the time came for proud, mercantile Australians to export the one product on which their nation's international reputation would be built<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bloody heck, after thise I was hanging out for the nude photos of ONJ or Kylie but what do I get.....a pointless rambling bunch of ****e from a poinless rambling bunch of ****e about how wonderful Australia is!

I guess you ex-con's all have to stick together huh?

Actually has anyone else noticed that when "Advance Australia Fair" plays not a single Aussie ever moves forward??

Very honest those ockers!

[ 08-05-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Buzzsaw:

Well, that treacherous Lars is making mincemeat out of my attacking forces in Crodaberg. Goddamn pillboxes. I wonder what the turn one record is for AFV losses. I might have broken it. I am pretty sure he is only using about one quarter of his force to hold back my mad assault.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Who the fek are you?

Obviously some gamey upstart puke ersidue trying to use tactics or sumfink...whadya do...try to hide your tanks then move them out to get ko'd one at a time?? You total wally!

Hey kids - yuo can stop looking now - I've found Wally and he's here!

Put em in the open & duke it out - at least pretend to be a man!

Seems Lardo has taken a liking to Crodaberg this week - we're just about to start T1, and it should be interesting with almost all the Allied at & armoured assets going head on with the 88mm pillboxes from about second 1......the converging yellow lines on the pillboxes should look quite impressive!

I'm anticipating maybe a dozen dead Shermy wermies - but all the pillboxes will be KO'd by the Greyhounds while they're busy congratulating themselves!

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Well, that treacherous Lars is making mincemeat out of my attacking forces in Crodaberg. Goddamn pillboxes. I wonder what the turn one record is for AFV losses. I might have broken it. I am pretty sure he is only using about one quarter of his force to hold back my mad assault.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Seems Lardo has taken a liking to Crodaberg this week - we're just about to start T1, and it should be interesting with almost all the Allied at & armoured assets going head on with the 88mm pillboxes from about second 1......the converging yellow lines on the pillboxes should look quite impressive!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hehehe

[dalem]

What's an "Australia"?

And O Lorak please pen me a stinking Draw against Berli. It was really a Peng scenario-destined buggery of epic proportions, but I stupidly forgot to send some huns over to one of the VLs on my side of the river and so it remained neutral, thus the Draw, even though all the little BerliMen were dead or bogged or running off the map.

Sigh.

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by chrisl:

[QBdalem (what are you, anyway?):

You seem to be following me. Bastard. Go away. You are also a fool. I, too, went from Ann Arbor to Minneapolis (via Boston, however). If you follow me to LA then I will have to pull your eyeballs out your ears or something equally unpleasant. Ann Arbor was good back then, much less flashy and yuppie than it is now. Though it will always be far preferable to East Lansing.

Minneapolis is much colder and darker than A^2. You will have parts of your body freeze and fall off. Your eyeballs and teeth will shatter from the cold. Your ears will turn white, and then green, and finally black with a texture of leather before they are finally bitten off by the geek at the Minnesota State Fair while you are waiting in line to buy some food-on-a-stick. And the girls won't come near you, because they are all engaged by their junior year of high school, and married as soon as they get out. Besides, you're icky. And everyone there talks like they're in the movie "Fargo".

[/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, chrisl, you ask what a dalem is, and can say with absolute assurance that a dalem is exactly like a chrisl except it's a dalem instead.

A2 to MPLS via Boston, eh? Well, if it makes you feel any better, I was packing for a new job in Boston 4 years ago when I got the job offer that kept me here in A2. The only thing that would be more spooky (as in community college folk late night conversations at Denny's 'spooky') is if you had started out in Connecticut, as I did before I went to A2 for college. Rest assured that I would never ever live in Los Assholes. Ever. NEVER. Well, unless someone paid me whole buckets of good old American cash, anyway.

In payment for never moving to LA I will accept a setup from you of around 1000 pts, any conditions, any side, any nationality.

And while I'm sure that everything you say about MPLS is true, you must realize that the hippie crap, yuppification of A2 has reached such epic proportions as to make anyone even remotely moderate join the NRA and hope for an asteroid strike.

Fewmets.

[Kirill S.]

Hey, a 5 page thread about nothing...

[Stixx]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

What's an "Australia"?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

An Australia is a collective term used to define the place in the Cosmos that everything revolves around.

It has been proven to hold all of the intelligence and talent that is in that Cosmos.

In some instances (as in Earths case) Humans actually populate the Australia. In these few rare cases it produces people that are of a much higher class. The rest of the Cosmos actually looks upto these people as if they where gods.

It's just a pity Earth only has one Australia.

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

[QB]

I hope to visit Australia before I die.

[QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And when you do, you will be most welcome at my place.

Hell, I'll even go to the effort of moving one of the bikes in the shed over to make room for you to bunk down. I'm sure you'll be most comfortable as the shed is carpeted and the dog knows he's not allowed in there. Also I keep my beer fridge and stocks of home brew in the shed, so likely as not, you'll never want to leave and when you do die, I can feed your remains to the dog.

Who says Aussies are not a hospitable bunch?

[Stalin's Organ]

In order to grasp the true meaning of Stick's little joke yuo need to remember that Orztraylya is upside down, so the general meaning of everything he wrote needs to be reversed in order to make sense.

Now on to the massacres:

Crodaberg - old Lardo sent me this 'cos I thought Jabo was boring. Mind you this one's looking not much better - 5 German pillboxes and 2 guns ko'd on T1 for the loss of only TWO, yes, that's just 2 Shermie-wermies and a few other odds & ends!

I hope it gets better than this some time soon!

In his other efforts Lardo reckons I've done quite well in Jabo. Dunno why - after giving everything "run for it" orders on T1 I've only made about 5 or 6 other orders in the game - BOOOOOORRRRRRING!

And in our pick-up match a Daimler's KO'd a Tiger from the rear, so you can see he's doing really well there too (chuckle, chuckle).

Poor old Mouse really doesn't deserve being called Sancho - Sancho had at least a smidgen of military nouse - which I guess at least rhymes with Mouse, and louse, and scouse, both of which might also be appropriate.

He's been whinging and moaning about my Para's having a couple of 75mm inf guns in a ME, and in his assault on the green Americans keeps blundering into the few minefields have. Then he sent me an utterly inexplicable message about me beinging to die or something - anyone here actually getting beaten by Mouse - it was probably meant for you.

Davey wavey Belly-aching has gone AWOL for a day or 2, having had his STUH's blown to bits by an assortment of 1 75mm hoitzer (2 kills), 1 6 pdr (2) and 1 17 pdr(1), and he reckons I'm a gamey something or other that sounds like cake decoration, whereas his force of Marders and Stuh's with rickets is accurate and entirely historical and he can't figure out why he's getting thrashed - maybve he doesn't use a mirror to shave?? If he'd just come charging over the hills a-la Blitzkreig he'd probably have done really well!

Appart from that you're al a bunch of useles toe rags who all deserve to be "entertained" by Australia - except you guys already there - you all deserve to be in Tasmania.

[ 08-05-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[offtaskagain]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kirill S.:

nothing<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You really shouldn't be promoting your IQ. Now since you have nothing to say, remove your disgusting, vile presence from this thread.

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

We kept them from being overrun by the Japanese in WW2 after the Australian Middle Command (let's not give them more credit than they deserve) decided the best way to defend Australia was to send all their guys to NORTH AFRICA!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmmmm, a history lesson from a Murkin eh? Now theres something we can all trust.

As I recall, it was British command who sent the ANZAC's to north Africa and it was the champion Aussie Prime Minister who later remarked "Bugger this for a joke, you Poms can sort your own s**t out, I'm bringing the boys home". Which he did.

As for the Murkins "stopping us from being overrun" ROFLMAO.

The Japanese advance on Port Moresby was pushed back with nary a yank in sight and while it is true that US forces were used in New Guinea, the tide against the Japanese in the New Guinea campaign was well turned by that time.

It is worthy of note that the grand plan of MacArthurs to defend the mainland of Australia was to give half of it away!

Oh yes kiddies, long may you stare open mouthed at your monitors as the little known tale of the 'Brisbane Line' is recounted to you.

Now, I may be a little rusty on the exact details but as memory serves, the plan was as follows:

"In the event of a Japanese landing on the mainland of Australia, everybody is to run south as fast as they can, there will be no defensive action taken until the first state capital is reached. ie Brisbane"

Now by perusing a map of our little island, even Joe Shaw should be able to discern that nearly half the country would be given up without a fight in the hope that Japanese supply lines would be so stretched by this time that further advance would have been impossible.

Phew! I'm sure glad we had old MacArthur there to come up with that gem of an idea.

Anyhoos, evidence has come to light that the Japanese had no intention of actually invading the mainland itself anyway, as the problems involved with garrisoning such a hugh area was plainly evident to Japanese command. Instead, they hoped that victory over the Aussies in New Guinea would force Australia to withdraw from the war.

Now if it wasn't for little Aussie battlers like my great Uncle Harold who fought on the Kokoda trail, New Guinea could well have fallen before sufficient American forces were available.

Now if any Grog wants to argue over a point, go ahead, I don't claim to be a historian and I hate all you Grog Basteeeges anyway.

Feh!

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stinky Tinkler:

In his other efforts Lardo reckons I've done quite well in Jabo. Dunno why - after giving everything "run for it" orders on T1 I've only made about 5 or 6 other orders in the game - BOOOOOORRRRRRING!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I said you were doing well in comparison to poopoowiper4/2, idjit.

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stixx:

An Australia is a collective term used to define the place in the Cosmos that everything revolves around.

It has been proven to hold all of the intelligence and talent that is in that Cosmos.

In some instances (as in Earths case) Humans actually populate the Australia. In these few rare cases it produces people that are of a much higher class. The rest of the Cosmos actually looks upto these people as if they where gods.

It's just a pity Earth only has one Australia.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wait a minute - is it the place that looks like a dog's head and has about five acres of arable land? The place next to New Zealand?

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

It is worthy of note that the grand plan of MacArthurs to defend the mainland of Australia was to give half of it away!

Oh yes kiddies, long may you stare open mouthed at your monitors as the little known tale of the 'Brisbane Line' is recounted to you. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yah, it was proposed that since vital key resources lay roughly south of the proposed line, Half of Australia could be sacrificed.

That MacArthur forsaw the arrival of a vital key resource south of the Brisbane Line in the late 50s (ie me), shows the man to be the great visionary he was.

Mace

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

It is worthy of note that the grand plan of MacArthurs to defend the mainland of Australia was to give half of it away!

Oh yes kiddies, long may you stare open mouthed at your monitors as the little known tale of the 'Brisbane Line' is recounted to you.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah - it's difficult to know which was his daftest idea - that he was going to charge so much for half of it, or that he wanted to keep any of it!

Hey Lardo - shall I post the e-mail where you reckon I may well get the highest score ever for Jabo??

Edited to wind up our Scandenavian contingent a bit more!

[ 08-06-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Joe Shaw]

[serious] Stuka, it was a joke, I really do know the history of WW2 in the Pacific. But before you write off the U.S. contribution you might remember the Battle of the Coral Sea. [/serious] And besides, the water drains the wrong way there.

Joe