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88's smoke 'em better when your full of beer!

Echo

By Echo
in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

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Echo Senior Member

Echo

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I've solved the great "when to open fire" debate. Drink a hell of alot of beer before you even think about playing, go to the chat and chalenge some poor unwitting schmuck.

Open fire with ECERYTHING you've got as soon as you see the poor bastard. Overwhelming force, BEER, and ego win 90% of the battles. Half your opponents will cower and run if you show too much confidence.

I've never seen my men shoot better than when I'm loaded. Further more...

I swear, I've never seen so many panty wearing wussy's offended at a little foul language in a WAR game.

Drink some beer, relax, and if I curse and yell 'cause I get excited, don't go skulking off to your mommy's about my foul language, or disrespect. You are my mortal enemy as long as the turn counter is rolling, and I will humiliate, defame, and yell "NUTTS" at you until the deed is done.

Where the hell are the real men here???

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Terence Senior Member

Terence

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Echo:

Where the hell are the real men here???<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You sir, are a cad and a bounder. :D

Victory or the knowlege that one did his best, did fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run, should be enough reward for any gentleman.

Bombast and hysteria will make you no friends.

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aka_tom_w Senior Member

aka_tom_w

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Now where is that GREAT post in about the half tanked "viedo gamer" kid, with the REALLY gamey force selection playing the "grog old timer" with his completley accurate histrorical units and tactics?? They talk back in forth in the chat and it is hiliarious!

I think that post needs to show up in this thread, the post is less than a month old.

I'm searching for it now.

-tom w

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Terence Senior Member

Terence

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by aka_tom_w:

Now where is that GREAT post in about the half tanked "viedo gamer" kid, with the REALLY gamey force selection playing the "grog old timer" with his completley accurate histrorical units and tactics?? They talk back in forth in the chat and it is hiliarious!

-tom w<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

the one where the kid takes 30 FOs and 100 jeep mgs as his force? that was funny.

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aka_tom_w Senior Member

aka_tom_w

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LimShady:

Post the link if you find it.

Chris<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm looking

STILL!

I can' think of a key word or phrase that will specifically identify and dingle that one post out?

Any hints? key words to serch for?

Anybody?

-tom w

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aka_tom_w Senior Member

aka_tom_w

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Echo:

I've solved the great "when to open fire" debate. Drink a hell of alot of beer before you even think about playing, go to the chat and chalenge some poor unwitting schmuck.

Open fire with ECERYTHING you've got as soon as you see the poor bastard. Overwhelming force, BEER, and ego win 90% of the battles. Half your opponents will cower and run if you show too much confidence.

I've never seen my men shoot better than when I'm loaded. Further more...

I swear, I've never seen so many panty wearing wussy's offended at a little foul language in a WAR game.

Drink some beer, relax, and if I curse and yell 'cause I get excited, don't go skulking off to your mommy's about my foul language, or disrespect. You are my mortal enemy as long as the turn counter is rolling, and I will humiliate, defame, and yell "NUTTS" at you until the deed is done.

Where the hell are the real men here???<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Please Please read this with a sense of humour!

From: http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=017641

You mean LIKE this:

The_Capt

Member

Member # 4041

posted 03-23-2001 08:32 AM                  

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was contemplating a new topic for the discussion of the week (CM and 19th century existentialism, or however you spell it) when I noticed that the evil topic of gameyness has resurfaced.

So in an attempt to dispel all doubt on what is right and wrong from the minds of the unwashed masses here is a re-print (and slightly re-edited) of my spin on the subject.

For those who have already read it, I apologize, so go read something else.

My spin on the greatest question of our generation: "When are you being gamey?"

My opinion

All of CM is "gamey", not unlike a fine free range North West Territory ptarmigan. For those who don't know what a ptarmigan is, it is like a partridge (not the dysfunctional 70s family but the bird, although you could shoot and eat the family but I have no idea how they would taste. Although the older sister...what was her name again...whoops, time to come back, this is not that kind of forum).

CM is a game after all and not actual warfare(although if you've spent more than a few months here on the forum you may argue that point). The creators have kept this in mind by allowing players to do, whatever the hell they want(c'ept Fionn of course Hey easy now I joke cause I love). The only "rules" are those agreed upon by two opponents.

In my opinion some members of this community wish to pursue CM as a historical simulator. I personally think this is an empty goal and unattainable. And I can sight dozens of problems between the game and reality, like the little men in CM are NOT REAL!!..BUT it doesn't make it any less fun nor negate their attempt (though somewhat sad in my simple mind) to try.

So if you want to recreate a WWII battle down to "cap badges and weapons sights" go ahead. And try and find like minded players who are also willing to play in this frame. BUT you are not better or superior because you do and we are not lesser people undeserving of the "holy piece of software, sacred binary code upon whom all others look pale and pasty, that's right, put your hands together. Can I have an Amen! Praise Combat Mission!! Ahem, cough cough."

You (and I am talking to mostly Grogs here) have only decided to play the GAME a certain way.

The rest of us (and I group myself)look at CM as a game and will use everything we can in the game to win or (lose as has been the case lately). So if it is a coy of flamethowers lighting up everything in sight like a Mongolian barbecue chef gone postal, and your opponent is OK with it, PLAY ON!

Problems and conflict arise when one camp bumps into the other. A die-in-the wool Grog meets a half-liquored Friday night CM Goon whose girlfriend/wife wants nothing to do with him (or her...well you know what I mean just switch the gender labels around for you girls...both of you). They fail to establish "ground rules" and charge into a doomed battle.

The Grog, with his AFV posters and manuals is slaving over which Allied doctrine to try and modelling his unit purchases against WWII OOBs. "Now did Capt Johnson have a single or gold plated command rating? Well let's see how he fought at Anzio..." and so on.

The Half-Baked Goon; "OK let's see what a map with nothin but Arty FOs and freakin TRPs will do..heh,heh. Oh ya I'll throw in 12 jeeps cause they burn good....man I am hungry....and thirsty. What is taking this guy so f#$4ing long."

Now our two warriors meet. The Grog has a perfect Bn advance as per the "Closing of the Falaise Gap"..."Now which coy actually was forward left..." The Goon sits and giggles "C'mon you pansy assed Brit Sh$t eaters...come to Fritzy....atta boy"

Boom! Arty starts dropping like bird crap at a beach wedding. The Grog "oh my now what was the allied drill...ah yes...very good..oh my he is using it all up at once...I think vonGoosestep tried that in Italy but this is France tsk, tsk."

Goon " WOOOO-HOOO!!....(to sleeping boy/girlfriend)...you see that?! Now for the big stuff, 300mm and another beer...belch".

BOOM, KA-F$#%ing-BOOM!!!

Grog; "Oh my, well let me see an Axis SS Division has ###long range arty assets...oh my! That doesn't seem right. My opponent will very "red-faced" when he sees his mistake, tee-hee....Oh dear there goes Stanley's Coy.."

Goon; "TAKE THAT!! AHHHH-HAHAHAHAHA. I love this freakin game, I swear I saw bodies flyin. Oh sorry dear.....And now for the jeeps."

Jeep assault onto hill 130 is carried out.

Grog; "Now I am afraid he has gone too far...time for a stern chat message.."

Goon; "I wonder what's on Fox or wait I think that Arts channel has Euro-porn on at 11..."

Chat message:

GenAllisterMontegue: "Excuse me for saying but your force purchase seems a little excesive in the Artillery and Recon assets."

JOhnnyRottAN: "What do yu meen?"

GenAllisterMantegue: "Well if you consult "ALL THINGS AXIS" the 1998 edition, you will see that you simply do not have the amounts you are using here."

JOhnnyRottAN: "Hey pal! If it works, it anin't broken...you callin me GAMEY?!!!:{"

And we can all see hard feelings and anger which will result as the exchange degrades into....a forum thread.

As an aside the freaks out there have a slightly different approach, they establish ground rules then quickly proceed to ignore them. ALL'S FAIR IN LUST AND WAR DICK_HEAD!!!!! I RULE!!! WASSSUPPP!!!

So the only rules are ones you mutually decide on and in the long run it is only God you will have to answer to in the end (and yes I am sure He plays CM, big on Allies but he really hates the Sherman). So happy gaming and let's just be friends.

And go our there and kill each other CM style!

Authors Note: Now for any out there who feel that this is a cheap re-post of a former topic to avoid having to actually think this week, you are absolutely right. I figure I can get one more mile out of this piece of work and then will actually have to pump out something original and if you don't like it SCREW YOU DICK_HEAD!!! I RULE!!!! WASSSSAAAAAP!!! "

THAT was the Post I was looking for!!

-tom w

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Mark IV Senior Member

Mark IV

Posted
Posted

Sounds like Echo and (LOL) The Capt are posting in the wrong threads.

The Peng Challenge needs some new blood..., err..., DNA. Protoplasm, at any rate.

I think most 'poolers play with historically plausible mixes, but we give extra points for essay skills. Drunks are encouraged, after a while.

Actually that's a lie and there's little encouragement to be found in the Peng Thread. There are, however, several drunks, a grog porn ring, and quite possibly an operating meth lab. Party on, dewdz.

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abuhabib Member

abuhabib

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> All of CM is "gamey", not unlike a fine free range North West Territory ptarmigan. For those who don't know what a ptarmigan is, it is like a partridge (not the dysfunctional 70s family but the bird, although you could shoot and eat the family but I have no idea how they would taste. Although the older sister...what was her name again...whoops, time to come back, this is not that kind of forum). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

isn't her name susan dey n didn't she become a lawyer in l.a. law? just fyi. :cool:

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imported_Wildman Senior Member

imported_Wildman

Posted
Posted

Personally I liked The_Capt's replay to ScoutPL.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Thanks fellas,

I had a blast writing it. I will post a quick response to a couple of people though;

...

ScoutPl. I am hurt, I love Grogs. And you sir, are definitly well entrenched in their camp. So using basic logic. I love you, Mr ScoutPl. In a macho, manly way which does not involve anything sticky. Let's get drunk and skeet shoot chickens, you can bring the WWII K98 and we can test out you theories.

CM till you go blind, then hire a monkey to play for you!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

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