Phillies Phan Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 I was young as a child. Like so many of you, I grew older as the years passed by. I also grew a little taller. I found that doorknobs can be reached although there was always lotion all over them from Mum. Ours was a flatulant household and because of my dimunitiveness, I was always face to the blast. My eyes hardly ever ceased watering. The neighborhood kids would laugh and taunt me with names like "stupid-head" or "Pete-Rose Butt" but I didn't care. I was Captain Kirk for a summer on my front lawn. He got all the chicks. The only chick within scanning range of my front lawn was Cathy Lynn Alden who taught me to never, ever jump the queen in chess because she is a female. Cathy would pummell me with her fists, feet, and words on a daily basis. We were like rudebegas and radishes. I would bleed and she would practice her wonder woman moves on me. Good times, then. Oh, I guess I owe some CM turns to some of you and owe nothing to most of you. Lee Oh, pick your poison. The humiliating won't just be me with my lack of strategery, mister. Oh, no. You sir, are going to be scratching your head when I juke and jiggle my forces to and fro. Gaze in wonderment as I do that armor dance. "Surrender now, or prepare to fight" - Team Rocket (blasting off at the speed of light) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 Getting close to the bottom of the first page, so Game Updates: dalem and I have reversed positions. He started out the game at the top of the mountain, defending the flags. Now I am at the top of the mountain defending the flags! Nothing like sitting in the other guys foxholes letting him assault you! Mace finally sent back the first movie. Nothing like the excitement of watching your units move out of their initial positions! MrSpkr and I are playing an ubertank thingy from view 1 with fog! One of my tanks blew up, don't know why...can't see a damn thing with all this fog! armornut resurfaced briefly, just long enough for his hidden AT gun to knock out 4 of my half-tracks. Damnable Brits. Now I will just have to overrun his positions with my infantry. In the meantime, I ask all the rest of you to kindly drop 'em, bend over, and cough! Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holman Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 (Knock, knock) Um, Hello? (Opens door) Hello? Is this the...lemme see...Pong Thread residence? I'm delivering a pizza. Extra cheese, was it? Just allow me to pull it out of my pants here, yes right here, won't take a minute... (Whips BAR out of pants) Ya-ha! Take that! Muhahahahahaha! Excelsior! (BANG BANGITY BANG BANG BANG etc. as muzzle flash strobes the murky darkness) (Lowers smoking BAR) (Aside to self) I can't believe they fell for the old pizza in the pants trick! Oh, the horror! Oh, the humanity! Like the billboard says, it works evvvvery time. (Crosses arms, surmounted by smirk of smug smuperiority.) Ha! (Slings BAR back down pants. Silence grows) Hello? Anyone? (Begins shuffling feet nervously) Er, hello? (sound of turgid cess sloshing menacingly in the darkness. Something...moves...deep within it...) (Aside to self) Hmmmm. Hello? [edited for extra smileylessness] [ 06-05-2001: Message edited by: Martyr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 **Cough, choke sputter** What was that disturbing de smooth glasslike surface of my pool? Ahh, just a worm-tick gnat-hatter fall into de water, my belly will ease its pain, and mine as well. Now alligators, let de polliwogs bask in de sun shune through de weeping willow fronds. Sod off, outta here, see ya, don't let the poison oak give you an infection on the way out. Back to the outerboards, the swamp is no place for midget-tailed fidget-wallows. ((I liked the "Excelsior! bit.)) **sinks slowly back beneath the mossy surface** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Martyr: [QB]Hello[QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bang. Thud. Another moron who, among other things, failed to heed his drill instructor about shooting from the hip, firing long bursts, keeping loaded weapons in his pants, using a firearm in a gaseous environment, and venturing where one is highly unwelcome. Hiram! Send the turn, ya rambling psycho. I was going to let you kill something but now I'm not. You could never pile up as many junk vehicles as jd in The Battle of the Suits, but you're gonna come close. If it wasn't for his stupid Jabo this could be 100-0. Well, maybe 99, but it would be freakin' awful. We would both rather this was happening to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 Must be the weirdest Newbie By we ever had. Err, let me see, since I'm the only Frog in here I get it the cheese reference is an incentive of sort. So to sum up, you took up all of the courage you could munster (Tis a cheesy SSN guys, I know it's not MUNSTER gimme a break) since registering a while back and risked a dip in the MBT just to tell us you have a prosthesis thingie that does nothing more than Bangity Bang when it's shaken? You're lucky if Panzer Leader doesn't post something to no avail for your benefit only... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan: Oh, I guess I owe some CM turns to some of you and owe nothing to most of you. Lee Oh, pick your poison. The humiliating won't just be me with my lack of strategery, mister. Oh, no. You sir, are going to be scratching your head when I juke and jiggle my forces to and fro. Gaze in wonderment as I do that armor dance. "Surrender now, or prepare to fight" - Team Rocket (blasting off at the speed of light)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I am starting to believe that Hiram hangs around here only for the chance to play the SSNs in hopes of winning a CM match. Good enough reason as any... I guess. GAME UPDATES! I have been trying to pare down the number of games I have been playing, which hasn't been hard, since most of you refuse to play me anymore since I rubbed your noses in your defeat like some unhousebroken mutt. But I digress.... JD: I would assume a 90 year-old can coax an erection out himself faster then you can advance across the battle field. I get the feeling I will be left unsatisfied by this battle as would the wife of said 90 year old. Penile-fy: Using your mortars to top attack my AFVs will get you NOWHERE you bark chewing hippie! My penis shows stiffer resolve to tasks I set forth for it then your men seem to be capable of on the battlefield! Babs: Is it over? Did i win? I don't know... Maybe if you send me the FRICKEN TURN I WOULD KNOW! Wait.. maybe you did... I will check when I get home and it better be there MISTER! Bauhaus: You've lost. It's over.. give up now. Spare me the dull and funless task of crushing you under my boot. Your awesome defense of the town is about as clever as ballpeen hammer through the cranium. So give up now and spare me.. please.. I'm begging you. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 A new home and look who our host is.... Oh well.... Send me a set up it should be worth a laugh.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holman Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>...just to tell us you have a prosthesis thingie that does nothing more than Bangity Bang when it's shaken? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> But...But...That's what the cute saleslady at the store said it was good for, and... Well, aw, shoot! (Flings prosthesis into pool) (SPLASH) Anyway, I've heard so much about the Prang thread that I knew I had to have a look. (Looks) Hmmm. Dark. Murky. (Sniffs) kind of... close in here too. Urgh. (Lifts foot. SHLOOP) Sticky, to boot. When's the last time this place had a good scrub-down. Smells like a sheep-pen in high summer, fer gawd's sweet sake. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>...since registering a while back and risked a dip in the MBT...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> (aside to self) They're just jealous of your low member number. Yeah, jealous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 Crap-Ass-First-Person-Shooter-Fan, Did you not get the hint that 1.) You suck; and B.) You are neither wanted nor needed here? Now I suggest you get your pugnacious prosthesis outta here (Sod off!) before someone actually takes you serious, Mr. Return to Castle Wolfenstein. Oh, one last thing, as for your "low member number", I have a headache with a lower member number than you! ((what??)) **END TRANSMISSION TO SSN** Hey YK2, you know, in a way, you are kinda like my sister, what with Paw and all. I still wouldn't mind seeing you naked though. ((edited for added incomprehinsibility)) [ 06-05-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Outstanding! Now I may commence stomping dalem's guts out<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, you mean this time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Did you not get the hint that 1.) You suck; and B.) You are neither wanted nor needed here? Now I suggest you get your pugnacious prosthesis outta here Sod off! before someone actually takes you serious, Mr. Return to Castle Wolfenstein. ----------------- I say: The guy is a writer PanzyBoy, So you'll have to come up with something better than SOD OFF for him to even notice that you posted... ----------------------------- You also said...... Hey YK2 you know, in a way, you are kinda like my sister, what with Paw and all. I still wouldn't mind seeing you naked though. ((edited for added incomprehinsibility)) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Kinda like your sister? I don't think so matey, and just because you happen to be PawBroons squire (trys not to laugh) doesn't give you any rights as far as I am concerned.. Still I do have a pic I took tonight in which the expression on my face shows exactly what I think of you wanting to see me naked..... now all I have to do is find out how to post the damn thing on here.... [ 06-05-2001: Message edited by: YK2 ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 A writer?!? Ha, he prolly writes for sit-coms what with all those parenthetical asides. And as for 'noticing me' Sis,I would assume he would not notice me due to his undeniably thick-witted newbie-scummishness, more than anything else. Geez, Sis you sound like you have a crush on him or something. That is, to put it mildly, Grody. Why don't you forget playing the Islander and welcome your new boyfriend to the club? Maybe he can se you naked, humph! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Babra Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Babs: Is it over? Did i win? I don't know... Maybe if you send me the FRICKEN TURN I WOULD KNOW! Wait.. maybe you did... I will check when I get home and it better be there MISTER! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, bite me. It's sitting in my mailbox. I'm just not in a gaming place this week. Go watch TV or in some other way bugger off and leave me alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Martyr: (aside to self) They're just jealous of your low member number. Yeah, jealous.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It ain't all that low, boy. Mu...muaha...MUaahhAhahaaaaaaa! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Martyr: They're just jealous of your low member number. Yeah, jealous.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Double mua hahahaha <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> by MarkleyYou could never pile up as many junk vehicles as jd in The Battle of the Suits, but you're gonna come close. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Never has the PeterNZ Principle been so apt. If it could....it did..oh well, a game to try new and innovative things resulted predictably in why the tried and true usually prevail. I shall lose, and badly but nonetheless with a gleam in the eye. How bad is it? A veteran Thunderbolt FB makes two passes on thin skinned AFV's 251's I think. Boom, big explosions in their immediate vicinity, causing all of one! to button up. At least subsequent strafing runs took care of them but still, normally you can sneeze and they abandon their tin cans. Then my close assault of split squads against a single gun has a couple of explosions causing everyone to crap in their pants except for brave Mr Platoon ldr who must have went berserker because he kept charging with predictable results. Not to mention a single AT takes out three Stuarts with three shots, and they are hull down! My reinforcements, held out of sight come busting out only to stumble upon a platoon amblling to the sound of guns, boom, panzerfaust kills track and 12 men go bye bye.....*sigh* Somedays....some games.... it goes like that. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>limply posted by JeffIneedViagraShdoofus:I would assume a 90 year-old can coax an erection out himself faster then you can advance across the battle field. I get the feeling I will be left unsatisfied by this battle as would the wife of said 90 year old. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Spew on a bilge scum. I am not slow but deliberate. Considering that our map has as much open spaces as North Dakota, I feel a little cautious about driving up and knocking on the door to see if jeffey can come out and play. I'll get there and share the pain of outlaw cinema on your backside. Considering that you are "obviously gamily hiding back at the edge of the map with your defenses and the haze blocks the view, you'll just have to wait awhile. BTW don't worry about the sunscreen. I hear carcinoma is in this year. [ 06-05-2001: Message edited by: jdmorse ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted June 6, 2001 Author Share Posted June 6, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2: A new home and look who our host is.... Oh well.... Send me a set up it should be worth a laugh.. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And here all this time I just thought you were the Spanish Moss frills to our oh-so-drab home! As for a Setup, I leave the proper one as an exercise of the imagination of that CESM, PushBroom. I'm sure he can come up with somefink appropriate... probably like "JD's Revenge!" or some such. In an aside to you, PuntaGorda, the Islander is one of my favorite restaurants in Inverness; thanks for the comparison! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 Right...a bit more right!!! Bugger it, you've gone to far right!! A bit over to the left now...that's it, spot on! Lower away!!! *lowers tiered cylindrical object onto prime piece of cesspool real estate* What's the rest of you looking at? Nothing to see here, Sod off! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader (and skillfully edited by Mace): Hey YK2, you know, in a way, you are kinda like my sister...... I still wouldn't mind seeing you naked though.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey Panzer, Are you inferring that you always take your clothes off when you visit your sister...isn't that Fruedian or something? *shrugs* Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 All this talk by Iskander is making me hungry.....I might have to visit the kebabery down the road at lunch time....yeah, I can drop into the Chemist on the way and renew my Prozac prescription too....God knows I need it now that I'm being stalked by a Pengster....... So, Isky baby......named after spit-roast lamb with yogurt & tomato dressing eh?? Hmm... lamb is the national dish down in these parts, yoghurt is sour milk, and no-one's ever been able to figure out whether tomato is a fruit or a vegetable? Quite a tasty little morsel even. yes...I think you'll do quiet nicely for lunch!! Now for all those pengsters who keep expressing curiosity as to why I'm still here...well it's 'cos of that famous Maori comedian Wittee Repartee (now sadly dceased and much missed). I miss him (sob), and while collectively you're not fit to recycle his shaving foam, you're the best this board seems to be able to offer. sad really, but there you have it. [ 06-05-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holman Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 (Starry-eyed) He likes me! He really likes me! *Sniff* (blows hanky) Still, something seems to be amiss with some of the atmospher--I mean, attitude around here. This is the famous Sass Pule thread, isn't it? Home of the boldest of the fearless and all that? Well, where is they, then, I wonders? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Geez, Sis you sound like you have a crush on him or something. That is, to put it mildly, Grody. Why don't you forget playing the Islander and welcome your new boyfriend to the club? Maybe he can se you naked, humph! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well, geez, I dunno what to say! I mean, we've hardly been introduced or, gosh, or anything! Have to admit I'm flattered, of course. Even a little curious. Panzer Leader, what did you say your sister's name was again? Anyway, as it happens, Y2K, I do dabble in a bit of writing, just with the left hand, so to speak. Merely a hobby. Mightier than the sword and all that, wot? Anyway, I just happen to have a copy of my Manifesto right here somewhere. Are you connected with the publishing world? I'll just find a copy for you... (reaches deep in pants) ...won't be a minute... (searching around) (Suddenly sniffing the air) Wait... Something... Do I smell... sheep? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 Who are all these SSN's and where the heck did they come from? Why don't they leave? Sigh. It is time to repost a few words from our past: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Sir Joe Shaw once spewed: Notice to Scum Sucking Newbies Go Away! Go Far Away and Go Now! We like the group that's here ... for the most part ... individually they're swine but the sum of the parts, etc. We did not ask you to drop by and we'd frankly prefer that you drop dead. If you DO decide that you MUST stick around ... Have A Reason! Essentially - IS THERE SOMETHING WE CAN DO FOR YOU OR WERE YOU JUST VISITING? If the latter (please, please, PLEASE ... just be visiting) your VISA is revoked and you have been PNGed ... not to be confused with being PENGed, which is, frankly, much worse. Stand not upon the order of your going, etc. If the former ... go away anyway, we're not in the mood right now.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Any questions? [ 06-05-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 It's official!! The new incarnation of the Mutha Beautiful Thread has arrived! First we have SSN's who can't read the instructions: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Posted by Dead Guy: (Knock, knock) Um, Hello? (Opens door) Hello? Is this the...lemme see...Pong Thread residence? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Then we have Pansy Licker making a crude and unfunny comment: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Hey YK2, you know, in a way, you are kinda like my sister, what with Paw and all. I still wouldn't mind seeing you naked though. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> and finally The Vowelly Challenged has stepped in like he runs the place: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> It is time to repost a few words from our past: <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I think the following should all SOD OFF! : i) SSN's b- all Squires newer than me 3* all Squires older than me IV: all Kanigets Thank you and have a nice day! Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: *lowers tiered cylindrical object onto prime piece of cesspool real estate* <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Is it a memorial to the "Unknown Sheep" with eternal flame and all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 Weedlump stop yer yammering and send me a turn. I wanna watch more of your Ronson's go BOOM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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