Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[jshandorf]

All I want to say is damn you, Croda. You are truly an evil demon spawn. Forged in the bowels of hell (Yes, THOSE bowels, everybody!) you arose and now you aimlessly meander about the earth to the dismay of all. You, sir, no.. creature, are a boil on the ass of society, let alone this pool, and I shall see to it you are lanced.

Jeff

[Guest *Captain Foobar*]

Greetings from Paris,

I have nothing to contribute tonight, gentleworms, save for the promise of pics of your favorite CM battlefields. Ardennes, Normandy, and Paris, to name a few.

OK, well actually that names all of it, but I have always wanted to use that phrase...

I am in a parisian computer geek bar. I wish those guys who play were here. These kids have never even heard of CM, and wouldnt know a quality wargame if it bit off their nads.

I am being hollered at by a drunk French lady outside. I have to go.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: SturmTiger!

Blah blah blah rarity, blah blah blah.

SturmTiger SturmTiger SturmTiger!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

Muwhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sweet Geezus! What is the world coming to? Isn't this one of the seven seals? My god... the day of judgement has cometh. Pray for the pool, people. Cause I would geuss god is coming and he has a very large toilet brush with our names on it. Run! Run for the hills!

Jeff

[Geier]

I am back. Files of particular death are to be found in particular persons mailboxes tomorrow.

That is all.

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Johan

"The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps."

Dashiell Hammett

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by *Captain Foobar*:

Greetings from Paris,

I have nothing to contribute tonight, gentleworms, save for the promise of pics of your favorite CM battlefields. Ardennes, Normandy, and Paris, to name a few.

OK, well actually that names all of it, but I have always wanted to use that phrase...

I am in a parisian computer geek bar. I wish those guys who play were here. These kids have never even heard of CM, and wouldnt know a quality wargame if it bit off their nads.

I am being hollered at by a drunk French lady outside. I have to go.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey.. How did YK2 know that Capt. Foobar was in that bar? Hmmmm... Me thinks YK2 spends alot of time in French bars.... Must of met Pushbroom that way when she slip a 10 in his G-string. (Shudder) Gotta get that visual out of my head.

Jeff

[Guest *Captain Foobar*]

Sadly, the only woman in this bar is Jennifer Anniston, on some pinply faced french teenagers screensaver. This is a sad little place, a cesspool that doesnt even have CM...

one teaser for the picfest... THE FEARSOME GESHUTZ-NUTRIA OF BASTOGNE. I am not kidding!!! you will see!!!

[jdmorse]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabra:

Updates!...JDHorseface certainly does have an interesting take on our game. Funny, considering what's about to happen to him. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Chuppiepanze Why are your observations always vague Nostradomoical references to future events not yet experienced by mortal man. At least my summaries bear a relation to the truth. Was your M10/18 a bothersome Hellhound? Yes! Did it cause me grief? Yes! Did your TD's driver imbibe a bit too much in the prospect of facing me and got a bit of liquid fortitude, running his AFV straight into a soggy spot thereby dispatached tout de suite by my manly Puma? Yes!

Have you not abandoned or been ejected from the majority of the VL's? Yes! All these and more my little wombat I have inflicted upon you. Talk is cheap, let's see what you got big boy. Either you are glad to see me or you are a mere poseur.......so take your shot. I only brag about what I have accomplished, but then I suppose I should be charitable, after all a Edgar Cayce wannabe as yourself needs some solace to assuage the lack of battlefield acumen.

JD

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>My inner Croda says it has a growing fondness for you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>-Pawbroom

[Chupacabra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally presented meekly forth, with a bit of a lisp, by JDHorseface:

Drooooooool. Guh. Mama? hahahahahahahaha! droooooool.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The difference being that Edward Cayce was a fraud, whereas I am bona fide (sit DOWN Bauhaus).

Could it be perhaps that I know something you don't, hmm? Could it be perhaps that this worries you a bit? Here's a hint - it's got tracks and a gun, and it's not the one you've seen. We'll just have to see what happens next turn, won't we?

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Grand Poobah of the fresh fire of Heh.

[Guest Germanboy]

Geeks, Task Force Rose from Moon's website. You are the Germans. Send me the setup. Don't expect a reply before Friday, I have a life to attend to. Now get lost.

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Andreas

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-14-2000).]

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by *Captain Foobar*:

Greetings from Paris,

I am in a computer geek bar. I wish those guys who play were here.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now that's perfect.

Next time you want some piece of french hotseat with CM and a tour of Paris with the mandatory girls and wine bar ASK FOR IT.

Bugger...

------------------

And NO Bauhaus I didn't say SELF EXPLORATORY.

[Hamstersss]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy:

Eicht schlissen von turget schpossen! Der Weinerschnitzel, das lipschburg unt los alamos! Kelbasa dachshunt swinevertungweiser! Jas los nicht Friday, jasten verboser lichtenstein! Dachau der auswitzerling!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Does anyone else find it suspicious that Andreas claims to have a life yet will return a file on Friday? The official, "I have a life" day. I can only hope, you Limey oppressor, that I can find the time to return your pathetic file. Shall this be double blind or have you peeked all ready? No, not peaked all ready, we all know that to be the case.

And Andreas, do you want to use Moon's scenario ("The road to Wiltz") or the older Task Force Rose? They're both based on the same ASL scenario, according to the descriptions, so I guess the choice would be based on the better scenario builder.

Lorak, I demand that you use the word "Topplement" rather than "defeat" or "loss" on your website!

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Meeks is correct.

-Steve, of Big Time Software, creator of Combat Mission, Vicar of Peng on Earth.

[This message has been edited by Elijah Meeks (edited 11-14-2000).]

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

You dare tarnish the glorious history of topplement by mentioning it in the same post as, as synaptical?!?!?! Good god, so the cancer has finally reached that walnut sized brain of yours, has it?

Be fair, it's no sort of cancer, but rather the unfortunate effect of two of the...er...vials of 'vitamins' you sent me. Do not use the kind of aqua blue capsule ones with that curious er, 'tree bark' infusion that came in the mason jar. This research is taking its toll. My apartment looks like some kind of horrible experiment was conducted with wolverines and malt liquor.

Good think you have a separate, larger brain in your anus, though there's a theory going that it was just shoved up there and serves no real purpose. I know your intelligence is just vestigial

Yes, Meeks, I'm glad to see you again, as well. I know how hard a time you have expressing your feelings.

while topplement is a work of art, nay, a masterpiece of modern linguistics.

Thank you for raising the point. I really like topplement, but it needs further definition. Does it mean to simply defeat the other party, or is it more emphatic, a sort of 'you would be justified in choosing not to continue to live, given that topplement has occurred?'

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Hamstersss]

On topplement.

Though, when used in the vernacular, topplement can easily mean, "To lose" or "Defeat", topplement itself means, to be utterly and totally mastered. You see, when someone achieves a true, classical topplement, it is not unlike that which occured in Numbers:31, when Moses sent forth an army of Jews, bringing topplement to the heretics and distributing their asses and goods like so many asses and goods. Perhaps, to differentiate, we should ammend topplement to include "topplements", that is simply defeat, "classical topplements", being a total defeat, and "true topplements", which would be akin to the kind of destruction wrought upon the dinosaur swimming directly beneath the asteroid that hit the earth 65 million years ago.

------------------

Meeks is correct.

-Steve, of Big Time Software, creator of Combat Mission, Vicar of Peng on Earth.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

And mister marlow, should you be lacking sponsorship at the time when I leave Stuka face down in the mud in our Kniggets Challenge match, I will consider you for Squireosity.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sorry, Rune's got him. Rune is, after all, a beta god, if somewhat vile. I would have sponsored him myself, except that not only do I already have two squires, but as his stated intention is to destroy me, it might have put me in an awkward position to actually mentor him. Not that I blame him for the intent; Indeed, I think it's important for young people to have goals. Still, as a student of both history and mythology (the two are sometimes indistinguishable), I know that some day my time will come, the world will turn on without me, the sullied waters of the 'Pool will wash over me for the last time, and defeated and slain, I shall rise up incarnate in a new form. Perhaps that new incarnation's name shall be Marlow...

BUT NOT BLOODY LIKELY, NOR SOON, YOU SNARLING WHELP! MARLOW, YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAN! While I applaud your desire to destroy and supplant me, I'm going to need to see some more impressive taunting, not to mention some CM tactical ability. When you come at me with a string of ears around your neck (ears I recognize, by the way), and can hurl taunts at me that make me laugh and burst into tears at the same time, then I'll know it's time for that last plunge into the depths. Then, my lad, and not before, the Hedgehog will be with you.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Guest Germanboy]

Geeks, how difficult can it be? I mean, how small is the pathetic shriveled ball of ectoplasma that you have where I have a decent-sized and normally funtioning brain? Not very, I must assume.

Now on Moon's website is an ops called 'Task Force Rose' -of course, the sensible reaction to my pointer is to ask whether we should not rather enter into a recital of Henry V, with you taking the part of Pistol, while I am the Welsh captain of the sappers, or alternatively push over a cow or forge some ballots. Or maybe drone on about scenarios involving Wiltz that have precious little relevance, if any at all. When is the last time you had a look at a map of the Ardennes? Know where Wiltz is? Know where the road to Bastogne was opened? Know how far these two places are apart? A triple 'no' and one 'never' would adequately summarise the extent of your ignorance in the matter.

Now I know it is difficult for your twitchy fingers to find the mouse button and scroll down the battle page on Moon's site, but if you should so endeavour, I am sure you shall find a just reward in being given the opportunity to DL the no doubt splendid ops by Mike Hunkele, which you can then proceed to produce a setup of, which you then can at your liberty send to me through the means of electrons. Still with me or has Attention-Span-Defiicit-Disorder taken to rule the day yet again?

God give me patience!

As to your pathetic ramblings about my lop-sided organisation of the thing called 'life', let's just say that I hate thronging masses of vile people (of which there are many in London), and I therefore like to pursue my life on days the ordinary and stupid, bleating masses don't. You may go with the flow, we expect nothing more from you.

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Andreas

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-14-2000).]

[jdmorse]

Point of Order Mr Chairman, Point of Order....

Some procedural irregularities have been noted in the recent claim by rune to squire Marlow

Look I know rune is a beta god and all (genuflect and crosses self) and truly a princess of evil as I have learned to my undying and horrified gaze, but is he a kniggit and this authorized and certified to grant squire status to Marlow?

Checking the Cesspool rankings I do not see his name carved on the eternal living cantaloupe, and while he posts from time to time.....well we have had others, such as [deleted to save others from defilement] and don't forget [deleted to save others from defilement] and certainly not [deleted to save others from defilement], all vile and hideous poseurs that would spew forth in this dampness. Don't take me wrong, as rune does have a certain kindred nature, if not "entitlement" due to his status as BETA GOD yet isn't it more as "Of Counsel" or ex officio, nonvoting, emeritus etc. When challenged to a PBEM he begs of with the standard "doing beta testing" and can't partake of the fleshy delights of mutilation and dismemberment which occur hereabouts.This is a challenge thread after all.

Thus I call for a recount of his status, by hand if necessary (hard glare into corner where Blauhaus is starting to rise) and question the designation of Marlow as squire. True his taunting catches my fancy, but with two youngin's already, well that investigation is still pending, I should not take away another's pleasure in having a squire to "discipline" Marlow shows some verbal ability, but does he demonstrate even a rudimentary ability to win at CM.

Which leads me to a modest proposal. I suggest that not until someone can actually post a win against squire or kniggit, that they not be adoptable as a squire. There should be a modicum of recognizable lineage and procedure to follow [besides, we already got ours]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>My inner Croda says it has a growing fondness for you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>-Pawbroom

[This message has been edited by jdmorse (edited 11-14-2000).]

[Hamstersss]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy:

Random insults and jokes which have punchlines based soley on the originator's lack of understanding of the English language and basic hygiene.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I will type slowly with short words and simple sentences. There is an operation called "Task Force Rose". It sounds nice. It says in the description that it is based on an ASL scenario, Road to Wiltz. There is also an operation called "The Road to Wiltz". It sounds nice. It says in the description that it is based on an ASL scenario, Road to Wiltz. Therefor, the difference between these two operations would only be the talent of the creator. One is created by Moon, well known and respected. The other is created by some hack, known only to the whores in Nice. Here comes a complex sentence. You, being an absolute moron, may have mistakenly chosen the Task Force Rose operation not knowing that, right underneath it, lay a better operation, you simpering baboon-boy, though, if you were aware of this, it may easily be part of your master plan. Just asking.

Boffo on the stupid people, though, I agree with you wholeheartedly.

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Meeks is correct.

-Steve, of Big Time Software, creator of Combat Mission, Vicar of Peng on Earth.

[This message has been edited by Elijah Meeks (edited 11-14-2000).]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by *Captain Foobar*:

Sadly, the only woman in this bar is Jennifer Anniston, on some pinply faced french teenagers screensaver. This is a sad little place...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, in that case you'll feel right at home, Foo!

Mace

[Lorak]

damn.. Been to busy to even loath myself.

Here is the latest updates:

PeterNZ-draw

Pawbroon-draw

Mark IV-win

Shaw-loss

Seanachai-draw

jdmorse-draw

Berli-win

Moriarty-loss

Germanboy-win

Blousehouse-loss

Mensch-win

Croda-loss

Chupa-win

Croda-loss

Also.. It has been ask that squires with sponsors have thier sponsors listed. I think this could be a good Idea. I just ask that those knights that are sponsering a squire post that information for me.

Lorak the loathed.

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"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

[Guest rune]

jdmorse dares to defy me? A mere lawyer..granted he lives at the bottom of the pool...but still. I would have him play berli...but I already gave him the evilness to play another. A quandry....but do not fear...even now my demented self is thinking up a scenario of such horror...that votes will need to be recounted in florida. so, tomorrow begins the formation of my work of evilness...all for your torture...

Also, for dare to challenging me...you will be the last person to get tcp/ip. Muah ha ha ha....

Last, Markie Mark IV has played me and others have played me also...long LONG before there was a "list". Dare not to mock me.... i just may give you to bauhaus as a play thing... [No bauhaus, you DON'T have to sit down]

Rune

Commander

Army of the Porcupine

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rune:

jdmorse dares to defy me? A mere evilness ....but do not fear...even now my demented horror that votes will need florida. so, tomorrow begins the formation of my dare to Mark IV. And others have played me long LONG; there was a "list". Dare not to mock me.... i just may give you a play thing...

Rune

Commander

Army of the Porcupine<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Although Rune is deteriorating at the same rate as Mensch is improving, he really is a Knight. We wouldn't just give Knight status to any wanking beta tester that wandered in here. But by the same token, there are some, like Madmatt, that we wouldn't deny it too, not for any money (money don't do ya' no good, kid, when ya' look like an accordian). Not to mention that we actually really like Madmatt, and, in his own useless Illinois way, Rune. So, I challenge Morse's challenge. Rune also went head to head with Mark IV during the days of the original Peng Challenge Thread, so he has, in fact, fought within the Pool. The splashing ruined a pair of brushed suede black Timberlands I'd just bought. Miserable sods.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Seanachai]

Within the walls of a massive, crumbling, disreputable fortress stands a small building in a courtyard. It is a chapel (C of P, that is, 'Cesspool of Peng', or 'the Peng Rite'). Voices, predominantly male, are upraised in a hymn who's tune is hauntingly familiar, though the words are...not.

It's a joy to be vicious

It's a joy to be cruel

It's a joy to laugh and call the others fools

It's a gift we've been given 'cause we dwell in the 'Pool

Where the rights of taunt and invective rule.

Taunt, taunt, wherever you may be

For you are the vile and disorderly

And you shall taunt, wherever you may be

And the joy of the taunting will set you free.

As the voices trail off, one resonant voice is raised within.

My, my, isn't that a lovely old Cesspool hymn? Yes indeed. And how in keeping with our sermon today, my brothers!

(catcalls, unprintable expletives, unspeakably obscene gerunds, and the odd hiccup greet his remark).

Yes indeed. NOW SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLES, YOU DISAPPOINTINGLY EVOLVED BIPEDS!

(silence slowly falls)

Today's sermon is one familiar, I'm sure, to all. Except, perhaps, to some of our new, enthusiastic, but thoughtless Squires. It is from "Peng's First Letter to the Cesspoolers: Sod You Lot, I've Regurgitated More Interesting Things Than You Are".

(Polite clapping from some of the older, seated congregation.)

(aherm)

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of grogs, and do not taunt, I am become a sounding ass, or like tinkling on a cymbal. And though I have the gift of tactics, and understand all the mysteries of armour, and all knowledge of units; and though I have all most needful to play Combat Mission, so that I could assault mountains, and have not taunting, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my troops to instill fear, and though I give my opponent's armour to be burned, and have not taunting, it profits me nothing.

Taunting makes suffering long, and is harsh; taunting does not envy, instead it boasts of itself, it is always arrogant and rude.

It does behave itself unseemly, seeks always its own, is easily provoked, and thinks evil; rejoices in iniquity, and totally buggers the truth;

Taunting makes bare all things, would have others believe all things, belittles all things, and endures no slight.

Taunting never fails; where there is ability, it shall fail; where tongues speak well, they shall cease; where there is knowledge, it shall vanish away.

For we know in part, and we have ability in part.

But when perfect taunting is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

When I was a child, I insulted as a child, I mocked as a child, and I taunted as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

For now we see through the 'Pool, darkly; but we taunt electronically. Now I taunt for my part; but I shall taunt even as also I am taunted.

So abuse, vulgarity, and taunting abide, these three; but the greatest of these is taunting.

(wipes away a tear)

Are these not the greatest words to taunt by ever written?

(hushed silence from the gathered swine)

I want our newer members to consider these words the next time they post. For taunting, as the Book of Peng tells us, is not playground boasting. It is not merely wins and losses. It is not genitalia. Taunting is the way, the path, the lie, and the glory.

Now, all rise, and go to your duties. Bauhaus, remain seated. Oh, sorry, force of habit. Bauhaus, you may file out with the rest.

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 11-15-2000).]

[Goanna]

I have missed much in my travels of late, including the much hallowed day of the 3000 and subsequent meltdown of the previous thread. Therefore, I too am uncertain of the status of Rune and his ability to take on a squire.

As I remember it, the granting of knigget status was to be determined by a majority of at least a quorum of votes by current kniggets based on a squires performance in battle against another squire. Also, PERFORMANCE is not to be determined soley, or even primarily on the win/loss of the battle itself, but rather the ability of battling squires to run their respective propaganda machines here in the Cesspool for the entertainment of the court.

I do not recall, nor can I find (on a slow modem connection in Oman) the record of Runes performance as a squire or his elevation to knigget status. Evidence produced, he should have his name scribed in the ever living cantelope and proceed with his instructions to his chosen squire if there are no furhter suggestions.

I would propose that kniggets be allowed in the future to host only one squire at a time until they are either elevated to knigget status or discarded like yesterday's toe jam.

Now, all that being said, I have yet to take on a squire and should Rune be unable to fulfil his duties, I may be persuaded to take young Marlow under my leathery fold. The fact is, he finally got a laugh out of me. Not a large one, mind you, more of a stifled chortle really, but none the less, I beleive he has promise whether under the tutelage of the blessed beta-tester or a blue-collar butcher such as myself.

[Mark IV]

Hush, unicellular ones. I speak:

Some actual yuks have been restored to the pool. The spleen run free in our forests, and the rivers are thick with chortles and sniggers. Even Speaks-like-the-Wind has hit a funny bone or two lately.

Even Pawbroom has mastered enough of our tongue to convey his native state of confusion, and mistakes our derision for encouragement. Even our brown little squire-brothers splash in the oozing currents and play at men's war. The hunting is good. The spirits are kind.

This morning, before I left on my journey, I skinned a Lawyer and it was good. I fleeced a kiwi and saw its spirit sucked under a rock (I ordered bauhaus to sit down, or at least find a bigger rock). I dreamt of a canuck, and sacrificed its distant spirit to the Manitou, at about 600m. I felt the shadow of a germanboyouk and turned a wall of blazing quad 20 mike-mikes upon it. The hunting is good. The spirits are kind.

Cherish these times, o my brothers. The winters will come again.

Post Wampum: rune with a small "r", the result of a hunting accident he prefers not to discuss, was here when most of you were still primer caps. He died, and you all will too, but he died with far more skill and aplomb. Strive to die like rune, and your reach will already have exceeded your grasp. He is now a beta-ghost and his spirit walks amid our fires. Speak not lightly, of that which you cannot comprehend.

[Stuka]

*Clink...Clink...Clink*

"Click", Glug, Glug, Glug

*Psssst*

Glug, Glug, Glug, Glug

"Ahhhhhh"

That, fellow 'poolers was a Jack Daniels and Coke being poured for my goodself as celebration for the final exam of this years university calender..

"Damn, drank that one quick..hang on a mo', I'll just fix another......."

Now, where was I?, Oh yes, as I was saying, my closer pbem opponents know me as a full time worker, part time Business Degree student, all-round good guy and partner of the lovely Libby, whom a priveledged few of you have been permitted to gaze upon in the comradely trading of family photos.(and have'nt your right hands been busy since then, eh?) Oh God! There I go again! This is what I'm talking about, my brain has ceased to function socially in an intellectual manner as the upper thought processes have been devoted to Economic analysis and the confoundments of Financial Risk management due to the stresses of Exam Time.

The baser secondary mental processes have been left to churn out thingey based posts and pbem turns of, less than full mental capacity.

If this sounds like an apology, well its not. There will be non of that lilly livered belly scraping from this proud squire.

I fear that of recent times I have sunk so low into the mire of the 'pool that I was forced to rely on my fascinating ability to breath through my ears in order to avoid drowning. (Sit Down Kitty!)

Woops, hard habit to kick, hehe.

"Bugger, empty again? please excuse me....."

Thanks for waiting. Anyway, the educated Stuka of old will re emerge Pheonix-like from the ashes of text books, lectures and interminably boring tutorials to befuddle and confound opponents both new and old. I believe squire Mace is betrothed to me for some Topplement and even Robotus Rattus is up for a kicking.

Who among you wishes to cower in your trenches while the gull winged vole strangler rains death upon you? (note: No thingy references, I'm getting better)

Its drawn coconuts at twenty paces for any squires or if a kniggett fancies a bloodied nose then I'll whip out the trusty haddock and slap you forceably with it. Shawn eechy no longer requires the slappy haddock noises as the seal died (albeit in mysterious circumstances) , however investigations into sparky the seals demise are now best left to others, as this squire now retires to his portion of the castle for a bit of a sing song.

"Ohhh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm Ok........

*Glug, Glug, Glug, Ahhhhh....*