Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[Hamstersss]

Lorak! I call you forth to record the results of my match with JDMorse. It seems that despite the help of all the gods of Mt. Olympus, he was only able to achieve a draw against me.

It's kinda sad, I've been out of material since the afternoon.

------------------

I've got far more annoying things than that up my sleeve.

-Meeks

You must wear awfully loose shirts to fit an oompah band up your sleeve.

-Chrisl

[jdmorse]

and in the interest of fair reporting the score was 53-47 not in Meeks favor. sqeeks lost a Jackson TD, a Sherman and two halftracks. I lost... well, nothing. Oh excuse me I lost a track on a Hetzer in one of the mad bomders fit of pique and random shelling. I also held 2 of 3 VL's. Had the game gone beyond the designated 32 (?) rounds it would have been more akin to a turkey shoot.

Give the mad monk his credit..in dark stygian fetid combat he is a force to be reckoned with with. As an armor commander.....pfffht! In the light of day...well he won't go there.

Oh yes, one last thing...I still haven't lost to Peng. As have you.!

------------------

Official 3000th poster to the original Peng thread and present at it's demise

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Don't try and drag me down to your nether-world of dark alleys, steaming pavements and flickering neons, where scantily clad ewes beckon and tease the passersby, buddy.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Are you talking about Kings Cross, St Kilda, or that large sheep farm nearest you (as identified by the large line of pubescent teenagers ever lining up for a woollen collar, with sheep attached, and where "ewe" have a gold pass)?

I wouldn't know, I'm a bastion of high Australian moral values, and besides......I'm broke!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Rent out your own damn sheep you woolly pimp, I'm of sterner stuff than that...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Can't do that, Stupa, the last Sheep I had was served with baked potatoes, pumpkin, peas and lashings of gravy!

As for being sterner stuff? Only one way to prove that! If you're a Victorian, I will do you! If your from any other State, I will do you slowly (and enjoy it far more)!!!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Who's into shaved and polished voles then?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey Stupa, why do you smell of hamster, and why do you keep gaffer tape in your pocket?

Mace

Question: How do you stop Stupa from running off a cliff?

Answer: you make the "ewe" turn!

[Guest Germanboy]

Goriarty is an evil evil man. The map he designed for my game against Geier bears witness to his disturbed mind, his inability to show mercy and compassion and his strange linking for 50oz Milkshakes. To make up for this map, my doughboys vow to despatch each and every last man of his Gerbiltroops in our game using nothing but blunt instruments of hacking and harsh words.

Geier - he must have some understanding for you though, since he provided you with more places to hide than a single child of a 400lb woman wearing tentlike skirts would have. I'll find you, and when I have found you I will drive you off the map.

Elvis - seems to suffer from rather strange delusions about his abilities. My arty should put paid to those, and I will make him my appointed boot-licker.

Ethan's 52nd Horse & Arse is in a bit of a pickle. After getting me all exciting with the promise of a bayonet charge, his lads seem to have decided to just fall into their swords, saving me the bullets. D-Day is not going well for the Pommies so far at Benouville.

Mace - you need help. But what's new, you are Australian.

------------------

Andreas

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-04-2000).]

[mensch]

Ah I see Der Sac Senoochie has responded... you see my dear stuby friend, you boast your inteligence and of your a studlyness ooh! you sound like a 14 year old boasting how many times he had a roll in the sack.. but unlike a 14 year old that has more luck with woman, the best pickup like this poor sod has is "I washed this month".

BTW schooch jacking off in the washroom under the table and behind the door does not count as sex. unless your a skizzo.

I'm actually contemplating in recanting my challange to such a disabled, zit faced, pompus school child as you.

six words you wanker... grow up and send the file.

here's a penny, now go leave me alone.

-------

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by mensch (edited 11-04-2000).]

[OGSF]

Lorak! My Lord, Leige and Sponsor!

Look proudly upon your Squire for I have this very night past handed the kannigget Sir Meeks of the Rampant Tree Rat Piddle a large plate of WHUP ASS!!!

In a brilliantly fought defence which left the stinking village of Escargo sur Mer a blazing ruin, his vaunted attack by Canadian and French forces (supported by three Fireflys and some other rubbish), was ground down like a dried dog poo in a pre-schoolers playground.

A Major Victory, 58 - 22. Please chalk it up in the Cesspool: OGSF - win, Meeks - loss

Meanwhile, in other slaughters....

StukaNukaPukaPants - dies like the carp in a drought stricken billabong.

Speedy - curse his luck for I have confounded myself. Very similar to the Trojan Rabbit situation where the knights forgot to get inside. But I will prevail and how much sweeter will be the victory when I do.

Hiram - is moaning about the delay in being crushed by my hordes. Unfortunately the elastic snapped on the underpants of not one, but two, wheezing conscript Volksstrum Wal-mart greeters. As a result the mass stopped their headlong shuffle to help out with handy sewing kits and advice. The "dawdle of death" will continue as soon as he sends another turn back to me.

Lorak - things seem to have settled back in to the usual pattern of his men dying a lot and my men doing the killing.

OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

Well strap me to an ant hill and smear my ears with jam! OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hiram, be a good fellow and wash those ears before you bring them to me, will you? Oh, actually, when you defeat OGSF and become a Knight you'll be above that sort of thing, won't you? Have Shandorf do it, then.

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

Ah I see Der Sac Senoochie has responded... you see my dear stuby friend, you boast your inteligence and of your a studlyness ooh! you sound like a 14 year old boasting how many times he had a roll in the sack.. but unlike a 14 year old that has more luck with woman, the best pickup like this poor sod has is "I washed this month".

BTW schooch jacking off in the washroom under the table and behind the door does not count as sex. unless your a skizzo.

I'm actually contemplating in recanting my challange to such a disabled, zit faced, pompus school child as you.

six words you wanker... grow up and send the file.

here's a penny, now go leave me alone.

[This message has been edited by mensch (edited 11-04-2000).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Unbelievable. Just when I thought his posts couldn't become any more incoherent, a starshell goes off in his brain and we get something like this.

mensch, take several breaths and focus: perhaps you are making reference to Meeks's 'studly' postings? He is the one who seems to be romping with beautiful asian women. My recent posts involved the pity and sorrow I feel for your wife, and any other family member who cannot avoid your one man Cirque de Soleil of Madness. Now, while I know that all Americans seem the same to you (at this point and given your mental condition, I'm sure most everyone seems the same to you; God forbid the mailman should arrive at the door with a package when a briefly firing synapse makes you remember your wife for a moment), many of us are quite different from each other. Meeks is insane, humorous, boastful, and extremely energetic. I am the long-winded one, who bustles around trying to make sure all of you children are playing well together, and that none of you are running with scissors (or at least not running directly at each other with scissors). Your setup will arrive later this evening. Your wife (that poor woman) can help you piece together what you are to do with it. If you have any preferences and are actually in a position to read this (that is, sedated enough to actually read my post, and not confuse me with others), then send them on.

Now, try and get some rest, and concentrate hard on simple things, and stay with us, mensch, and please take whatever of your medication hasn't been used to turn the neighbour's weiner dog into a model citizen, okay?

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Mace - you need help.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Damn straight he needs help! First he gets all cranky after I distance myself from his particular flavour of sexewel partner, then he calls me a Victorian.

[checks Maces profile]

Good God!, A bloody Canberran public servant!

Kill the heretic, persecute him and run him out of the 'pool I say! Our nation's political capital and this, this ****** works for them (and I use the term 'work' in its broadest possible sense). I bet its all Maces fault the noble Aussie $ is worth less than 2/5 of f***all.

Check my profile public service yes-boy, see how it says 'Queenslander'? Perhaps your 'assisted learning' teacher told you that Qld was in Victoria but I suspect she was telling you any old crap throughout your 6 week educational upbringing just to get you to stop clapping your hands and grinning at the walls.

My dance card is rather full at the moment you southerner, however my benevolent nature is inclined to pencil you in for a healthy slice of humble pie as soon as I can be bothered.

(Give me 2 weeks)

------------------

Torture you? That...That's a good idea.

[Mark IV]

Now that I'm finally caught up on my turns:

1) Where are my turns?

2) Hakko/Ethan/PDHX has destroyed the property values of half of what was once a good neighborhood, thanks to the absurd historical setup (how did historicals get themselves into such situations?). Coin flip.

3) Slaw & I are at the cusp of two potentially decisive quickdraws which should either establish my mental supremacy for all to see (as though there were any doubt), or hitherto undocumented bugs in the game mechanics.

3) The Lawyer (who is not a registered Cesspudlian, but ought to be, except that he is unable to muster the requisite character references) is walking (make that scurrying) dead, and I will soon habeas his stinking corpus. Don't think about that too hard (Bauhaus!).

4) Gerbiltoy has sent me a ludicrous and squire-esque thing which I have had the temerity to return. Again he chooses things which drop from the sky (bird**** and fools, to coin a phrase) which have fealty to inbred sexual deviate families, and officers who purchase their commissions. I assume that once again they have managed to airdrop a few battalions of heavy artillery and a week's worth of ammo as well, as he would be utterly lost without his trademark accoutrements.

5) Meeks, whose knowledge of tactics in general and the ACW in particular would fit on the head of a pin in double-spaced 18-point Helvetica bold, is too terrified to even issue a challenge, despite my having extracted his entrails before his family at their Thanksgiving table, making balloon animals to the delight of his younger siblings out of his colon, and using his dried, but still remarkably pliable (stand UP, Bauhaus, yes, now!) sphincter as a Twist-tie for his own bodybag. But I forgive the omission as he forgives mine. Amen.

[This message has been edited by Mark IV (edited 11-04-2000).]

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

Hey Stupa, why do you smell of hamster, and why do you keep gaffer tape in your pocket?

Mace

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm, that's interesting, Mace; the only other person on this entire Board who's ever made reference to the terrifying 'gaffer tape/hamster' joke was Makhno.

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Guest Germanboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

Blablablablabla

I assume that once again they have managed to airdrop a few battalions of heavy artillery and a week's worth of ammo as well, as he would be utterly lost without his trademark accoutrements.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now I am not quite sure anymore, but what does it tell us about you if you think that 75mm is 'big'?

As for the purchasing commissions, I wholeheartedly approve. My basic training in economics tells me that this way the commission will go to the person valuing it highest. What kind of an army would have their officers appointed on the basis of skill? Not the US army, obviously, because it is them you refer to.

But I love seeing how you have already started to mae excuses for your unavoidable loss.

------------------

Andreas

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-04-2000).]

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Roborat:

I challenged Captain Foobar for insulting Meeks/Hamsters, we were in the process of setting it up, When Girlyboy muscled in demanding to set up the map himself, aided and abetted by Gerbilguy, and a few comments by crowda. So now I have some targets. Well, Oh evil one, who's name shouldn't be uttered out loud, where is the setup you were going to build?????? ??? ?. Although it is probably moot at this point, as *&"'captain foobar'"&* hasn't been heard from for a while. So I win by default, a no-show, easy win for me. Rack it up thorax.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Alright, is someone seeing to this? I've been rather pleased with Roborat's posts, in general, and it seems a shame to leave him standing in the lobby, being shouldered aside by the likes of Whizkid. MEEKS! Is the cyber rat fella your Squire or Berli's? One of you get on this and get him a bloody game. FOOBAR?! FOOBAR, ARE YOU OUT THERE? Have no fears, he wanders quite a bit, but he always drags back in here eventually, and he never completely leaves the CM site.

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Guest Germanboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

FOOBAR?! FOOBAR, ARE YOU OUT THERE? Have no fears, he wanders quite a bit, but he always drags back in here eventually, and he never completely leaves the CM site.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Quite sure I sent this to the Captain. Did not respond earlier because I think Roborat is a nutter. Frankly, once he sees the setup, he probably does not want to play it anymore. Just think what Ethan and me can do together...

------------------

Andreas

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-04-2000).]

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:

Hmmmmmmm celebrating being French until Sunday?

And to think I have been sitting around moping awaiting his return, Sean, If I get around to it you'll receive your turn tonight, otherwise it will be Sun as tomorrow I will be celebrating being Scottish. Whats good for the goose......

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh dear. Umm, I believe his words were more on the level of: I shall be forced to be away from the ones I truly love (that would most likely be you and I), but I will bear up under the sadness somehow. You know how it is with PawBroon's English; it's almost as convoluted and difficult to decipher as my own. Although I am looking forward to my next turn from you, as I've been thinking of nasty things I might do to turn the tide.

I wish I could go out and celebrate being Scottish, and with Scots, at that. I'm sitting here right now listening to Shooglenifty, in my filthy apartment (strange how the growth and the development of the Cesspool has been almost compeletely mirrored by my own living circumstances), but it's just not the same. Although the upstairs neighbour is stomping about and does seem a bit exercised about the volume level. Ah, well, alternatively, I have an evening of posting turns ahead of me, and popping in here to post in the hopes of casting a little light into the darkness. Hmm, it's 11:15 on a Saturday night in Scotland. No turn from you, so you're probably pissed and wandering town terrorizing and cowing football hooligans. Good on ya'.

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 11-04-2000).]

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

Damn you! You know how hard it is to rhyme something with Seanachai you mindless git! You might as well steal Prince's gig and use a symbol to represent your name...

Damn! Can somebody help here?!

Jeff

[This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 11-03-2000).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It's Shawn-a-key, 'kee', you uneducated daft bugger. That's not even quite right, but as close as you're going to ever come, you bleating lambikins. It's the Gaelic for 'bard', 'storyteller', or, equally, 'Shandorf's Unquestioned Superiour In Every Way'. My sort used to do 'Satires' on sodding little gits like you that led directly to your withering and rolling away across the landscape like so many empty seed pods. In the days when you were still trying to sort out whether to post to this Board or watch some abortion called 'Battledome', Lorak explained to all what the role of a Seanachai was in the clan system (Lorak's an educated man, son, and it's the education that makes him so bitter, as it makes him unsuited to consort happily with the ignorant). Consider the supreme, nay, even sublime, irony that attends that clan role with my role here in the Cesspool. When I began this thread (groans from all, "****e, he's going to do the 'when I began this Thread' rant again; who's for a pint and a bite?") I hadn't a clue that it would turn into...all this. Alright, I won't do the whole speech, everyone sit back down...Bauhaus, why are you already sitting?

Now, given this new knowledge of how my Seanachai is pronounced, why don't you have another go?

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Chupacabra]

Soooo Stinkytea -

I suppose you've forgotten that bit where you're meant to fire up your email and send me a file? Or may I take your continued non-response as the sissified version of surrender currently popular in darkest Minnesota? The Canadian influence no doubt - why cry havoc when you can whimper abjectly instead?

Reply quickly, you flash-frozen fool, as I mean to use your skull as a brandy snifter and your spine as a coat hanger. My room is so pitifully bare, you see, and some nice ex-Senility furniture would go quite well with my Moriarty-skin coffee table and my Croda lampshades

------------------

Grand Poobah of the fresh fire of Heh.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Damn straight he needs help! First he gets all cranky after I distance myself from his particular flavour of sex-ewe-l partner, then he calls me a *Victorian*.

[checks Maces profile]

Good God!, A bloody Canberran public servant!

Kill the heretic, persecute him and run him out of the 'pool I say! Our nation's political capital and this, this ****** works for them (and I use the term 'work' in its broadest possible sense). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Geez I can live with having my "hobbies" advertised for one and all to see, but insinuating that I work for Johnny!!!!

You're an insulting mongrel, Stuka Chuba-chops!

I'm a Victorian, and am employed by the State Government there (saying that I work would be stretching the truth though)!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I bet its all Maces fault the noble Aussie $ is worth less than 2/5 of f***all.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sorry, You can't pin that on me!

I realise that the low Aussie dollar does make it difficult for those who import from the USA.

It makes it more difficult for Stuke as Hamsters aren't indigenous to Australia, and he must import then from elsewhere, driving up his expenses and making him surly (say, how many Hamster's do you go through in a day btw Stuke)!

Just be thankful the gaffer tape is locally produced!!!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Check my profile public service yes-boy, see how it says 'Queenslander'?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I feel for you, it must be dreadful living with a disability!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>My dance card is rather full at the moment you *southerner*, however my benevolent nature is inclined to pencil you in for a healthy slice of humble pie as soon as I can be bothered.

(Give me 2 weeks)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Look forward to it! (not realy, I just don't want to upset you, and we know how easily upset Queenslanders can get! We dont want the cesspool level to rise any higher from the incessant crying).

Mace

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 11-04-2000).]

[Shandorf]

Idiot-running-free,

I see you don't not approve of my tactic in our battle. Too bad. I have my reasons and it will soon be all too clear for even someone as feeble minded as you. So sit back and sweat you gimpy monkey-boy.

Jeff

[PeterNZer]

I come on a sacred quest.

First of all to tell you that in all the PBEM games I am in currently, you are dead, dead dead, i've seen mummies in museums with more life in their corpses than some of you have, just i'm drawing out the suspense ok.

The second thing is

http://www.clubssi.com/ubb/Forum23/HTML/000843.html

Here is a link to the mostly holy First Inaugral Peng Excursion Yonder (FIPEY).

This FIPEY is to the CC5 board where we will spread just a little Peng into their souls. No posts to other threads alowed, just taunt away on that thread, ignore the other posters, they will be dazed and confused by the FIPEY. (O, i stole an idea of Meek's sister in that thread. Certainly better than stealing of Meek's ugly-assed self).

Lets run the FIPEY for a couple of pages and then disapear. I challenge you to join in on pain of being called a girl. (If you're a girl, i'll call you barbara striesand, ha!).

PeterNZ

------------------

"Someday... the whole world will know the wonder of my nipples."

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Shandorf:

Idiot-running-free,

I see you don't not approve of my tactic in our battle. Too bad. I have my reasons and it will soon be all too clear for even someone as feeble minded as you. So sit back and sweat you gimpy monkey-boy.

Jeff<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wonderful. I feel like I've just been addressed in broken English by an extraordinarily unattractive but facile Taxi girl. I think we might have to have that drink together, Shandorf, my soft plushy toy. It's hard to resist the disturbing appeal of meeting an abusive and nearly completely half-witted ADD/MOUSE poster child.

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Guest *Captain Foobar*]

Peter, I was shocked when I saw your FIPEY post over there. But I came back and read the mission statement for FIPEY, and I whole-heartedly support it.

Let's rally the troops.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer:

The second thing is

http://www.clubssi.com/ubb/Forum23/HTML/000843.html

Here is a link to the mostly holy First Inaugral Peng Excursion Yonder (FIPEY).

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Of course, I would have titled it

Peng, I am taking our challenge Global

But then again, Petey, unfortunately for you you are a Kiwi, and you're not me (but hey, you have to make do with what little you've got)!

Now bask in my glory and brilliance before you depart*.

Mace

*I'd like to take the opportunity to thank Madmatt for his lessons on humility!

[Tanaka]

Oops...

[This message has been edited by Tanaka (edited 11-05-2000).]

[Guest *Captain Foobar*]

Apparently Roborat has gotten restless, meaning that my Psyops/delay campaign is working beautifully.

Originally posted by the guy with a real unimaginative and painfully embaressing name:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Feeling rather bored, I went back through the threads, and there it was, back in page 21. I challenged Captain Foobar for insulting Meeks/Hamsters, we were in the process of setting it up, When Girlyboy muscled in demanding to set up the map himself, aided and abetted by Gerbilguy, and a few comments by crowda. So now I have some targets. Well, Oh evil one, who's name shouldn't be uttered out loud, where is the setup you were going to build?????? ??? ?. Although it is probably moot at this point, as *&"'captain foobar'"&* hasn't been heard from for a while. So I win by default, a no-show, easy win for me. Rack it up thorax.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

WHOA WHOA WHOA..... Send me an email you silly bugger. I have been using ALOT of Thorzine, Methadone, and GoldSchlager in the past week or two, so uh.. whats that word I never say?? oh yeah... "sorry"

Now, Roborat, you punk ass, I will make sure that you arent bored... Here comes a file in the beautifully handcrafted scenario that was built for us.

This is great.. All my men are green vampires...