Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Do we have a standing lower than peasent?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Shornasheep?

[Stuka]

{Giggle}

[Whizkid]

Well,Well,Well,it seems that I've stirred up a hornet's nest(Isn't that what the best books say?) and now have Mace flinging challenges around all over the show like a Knight Errant (What the Hell is that?) and Stuka sitting in a corner giggling to himself. And all I wanted to know is why is the Dungeons and Dragons crowd crossing wits (such as they are)on the Combat Mission Forum? I bet they come back at me and say "Piss Off!" Ah well,my mother told me that there would be days like this.

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Whizkid:

Ah well,my mother told me that there would be days like this.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Damn. She told ME she wouldn't conceive.

Well, I clean up my own messes, so piss off. These are taunting waters and you're drowning- imagine, bringing up yo mamma first, in a 4000-post flamefest. What amateurs the tauntonasiums are turning out these days!

The D&D reference dates you, though stupidity is timeless, as witnessed by your attempting to shame volunteer members of something called a Cesspool. I mean, piece it together, man, you could not be more screwed if your forehead was drilled, tapped, and chamfered.

[This message has been edited by Mark IV in order to heap even more abuse on this hapless and misguided soul, who feels a good scolding is what we need, when what we crave is the example of a spontaneous self-immolation]

[This message has been edited by Mark IV (edited 11-03-2000).]

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

you could not be more screwed if your forehead was drilled, tapped, and chamfered.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Then over tightened, stripped, drilled out again, tapped, heli-coiled and then tightened again to the correct torque using a little dab of Loc-tite.

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Torture you? That...That's a good idea.

[Mark IV]

LOL. I originally had a Loc-tite reference in there but edited it out, brevity being the soul of wit.

But witlessness kind of works for you.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Whizkid:

Well,Well,Well,it seems that I've stirred up a hornet's nest(Isn't that what the best books say?) and now have Mace flinging challenges around all over the show like a Knight Errant (What the Hell is that?) and Stuka sitting in a corner giggling to himself. And all I wanted to know is why is the Dungeons and Dragons crowd crossing wits (such as they are)on the Combat Mission Forum? I bet they come back at me and say "Piss Off!" Ah well,my mother told me that there would be days like this. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm, originally posted like someone's Uncle who'd wandered into the wrong bathroom. Then moved to unhappy Repbulican grandfather scolding bad teenagers. Finally flopped about a bit like he might try to rise to the occassion, but had either shot his bolt, or hit a particularly nasty slick spot and went arse over head.

Still, it could all be a subtle ploy. He could be putting two and two together and realizing that far worse things are expected. I mean, usually the totally confused ones scream in horror, say something nasty, then run for the exit (which is extremely inconsiderate, as breaking into any sort of a run in here leads to some rather nasty splashing). This one insists on making some of the obligatory gestures, but he's still around, still posting. Two more posts, and he'll probably start to like it.

Odd reference with the D&D stuff, though. What's next, insults based on references to Albanian labour unions? They would seem as apropos. I can only assume the whole Knight/Squire thing is throwing him off. Whizzkid, these references are more on the level of the Templars than RPG Paladin wannabes. We Knights of the Order of the Cesspool are one of the militant monastic orders. As all know, this Order openly runs the Cesspool, or Peng Challenge Thread (in so far as a midden is managed), and secretly runs the Combat Mission Board, and perhaps, portions of the Real World™ itself. The members of this circle of Illuminati post here under a variety of aliases and personnas. If you met any of us in the Real World™ we would, of course, look like any other collection of unshaven, unwashed, badly groomed men who drink from bottles in paper bag decanters and live in cardboard boxes in the allys just off major pedestrian thoroughfares in major Metropolitan areas around the world. Except for YK2 and Kitty, as they are women, and therefore are allowed to pose as human beings.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Semenchair:

[bI was gratified to hear that you are smiting OGSF most thoroughly. Turn him into anchovie paste, and we'll smear it on Croda and make him swim across 'rat alley' at the south end of the 'Pool.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As far as I can tell, I think your Squire is smiting himself, although I try not too look too closely. Current victory stats are OGSF 38%, Hiram 4% (give or take). And the only troops I have near the VL is one panicked squad of wheezing, farting Volkstruum cowering in a hut some 100 meters away.

Soon enough the disgrace and humiliation of your Squires misrepresentation and abject defeat will wash over your pustulent, withered body like the backwash from a Cesspool motor boat.

Yo mama is so poor, her shadow weighs a hundred pounds. (I think that's right).

OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

[Shandorf]

Croda you sick man... Kneel before Zod. I have boot stomped your pathetic little girly man frame into the ground. Come here and beg for mercy and admit your defeat.

Jeff

[Croda]

In the category of what's the most embarassing thing that happened to Croda tonight...Shandorffffffffffff finally beat me. 3 turns to go, and my last 2 guys auto-surrender. Imagine that! Well he may have taken the field with a measly 73-27 major win, but my men have the unmistakable glory of being slaughtered in a field far away and never seeing their families again. And you can't take that away from them Mr. Meany!

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"Nuts!"

[Shandorf]

Now.. For the updates of my other games.

Wussafies: I am not attacking you I am clearing that land for my developers who want to put in a brand new strip mall. Unfortunately your troops are in the way.

Chewy: You hairy, bone lipped, heathen. You move like a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter you sorry SOB. Get the lead out of your ass.

Beeks: I am going to make you pay for every inch of ground you defend. I hope you die gagging on your own spittle and blood.

Oh and Lorak my infested friend... Chalk up my win and Croda's humbling lose.

Jeff

[This message has been edited by Shandorf (edited 11-03-2000).]

[Whizkid]

Gentlemen,I prostrate myself before your most illuminating oratory.I am totally humbled,am completely cowed by the overwhelming weight of your adjectives,metaphors,and grammatical excellence. I realize now that I have unwittingly blundered into a part of Combat Mission that I never knew existed,and abjectly beg your forgiveness.I will cravenly creep (hows that for a drooling phrase!)back to the lesser beings and try and join in what I now see as a pale shadow of the real thing. (Whizkid wanders off,head hung low,and tears streaming down his pale cheeks)

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Whizkid:

Greetings to all.As a newbie,may I ask what has this all to do with Combat Mission? Is it one of those "in" things that I'm not aware of? Dont want to be a spoilsport but I would think it more apropos for a "Dungeons and Dragons" type of Forum.Fill me in,please somebody.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bend over quickly and I am sure that Sheepshagger will fill you in appropriately...

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Whizkid:

(Whizkid wanders off,head hung low,and tears streaming down his pale cheeks)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

One more to go, and then he starts attempting his own insults, and picking on our more evolutionarily challenged members.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Shandorf:

Now.. For the updates of my other games.

Wussafies: I am not attacking you I am clearing that land for my developers who want to put in a brand new strip mall. Unfortunately your troops are in the way.

Jeff

[This message has been edited by Shandorf (edited 11-03-2000).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Good lord, is 'Wussafies' an attempted deconstruction of Seanachai? Go have a bit of a lie down, the blood isn't making it to your brain. Can't say I blame it, as there really isn't much there for it to nourish.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Herr Oberst]

OGSF, you are still missing a few...

Your mama is so fat, when she cuts herself she bleeds gravy...

hmm...

You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor slapped your mama...

hmm...

You were so ugly as a baby that your momma fed you across the room with a slingshot...

hmm...

You were so ugly as a child that your family had to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you...

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[Seanachai]

Oh, and a quick messge for Chrisl and Andreas.

Chrisl, I received your last email replying to me sending of File 8. There was no file attached to that one, but I also had an earlier email telling me that you wouldn't probably get turns out until Sunday, so I'm hoping that's all that's going on there.

Andreas, I got an email from you acknowledging receiving file 30 in our game, but there was no return file attached, and I haven't seen anything from you lately. Take a look and see if you have a turn for me.

Meeks, I have the scenario for you and PawBroon, but won't be able to do a setup and return it to you for a day or so, but that shouldn't be a problem as PawBroon informed me that he will be celebrating being French until Sunday. You will have the setup before he finishes reaffirming himself.

Chupacabra, I got your file, then trashed it somehow, downloaded it again, and will do my setup and return it to you shortly. By shortly I mean sometime Saturday, as I have no sodding sense of time whatsoever. For reasons to dim to go in to, I won't be able to deal with it until then.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Roborat]

Feeling rather bored, I went back through the threads, and there it was, back in page 21. I challenged Captain Foobar for insulting Meeks/Hamsters, we were in the process of setting it up, When Girlyboy muscled in demanding to set up the map himself, aided and abetted by Gerbilguy, and a few comments by crowda. So now I have some targets. Well, Oh evil one, who's name shouldn't be uttered out loud, where is the setup you were going to build?????? ??? ?. Although it is probably moot at this point, as *&"'captain foobar'"&* hasn't been heard from for a while. So I win by default, a no-show, easy win for me. Rack it up thorax.

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"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S

[Slapdragon]

Ok, this is it. Everyone I think has heard the whole story of my near demise and return to the living with various mental and physical ailments. Ever since then I have struggled mightly with collecting information to bring myself back into existence. My english has slowly improved, mi español está consiguiendo mejor, mon français est revenir, e meu português é terrível de acordo com minha esposa.

Then it hit me. I have never been, despite defeating half of its members in honorable battle and being defeated once or twice, been in, participated in, or in any way contributed to or have been alluded to in the cesspool by cesspool members. I almost checked out without adding my little piece of filth to this the slimiest of all this world's institutions. I have never thrown out a politically incorrect comment, threatened abuse of gerbils, made silly challenges only to be soundly defeated, displayed huge swaths of ignorance, or bellowed truculantly at Foobar or Meeks for no apparent reason. In a words, I have been deprived. Only my Sherman's are red shirts comment has survived in the sig of one of the cesspool members.

So I would like to request some help from the cesspool. Please allow me to post this long winded commentary, and please, as part of my recovery, could you all treat me for a day or two as poorly as you treat each other with a barrage of insults, hamster double entendres, and other misc cesspoolness?

thank you in advance

Slapdragon

[This message has been edited by Slapdragon (edited 11-03-2000).]

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Roborat:

So I win by default, a no-show, easy win for me. Rack it up thorax.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not so fast, Roborunt. Theres no such thing as an easy win in the 'pool (unless your'e playing Menschy-I-lost-to-the-wife-again)

Youv'e got to earn your stripes son, no inherited or bought commissions here, this isn't the british army.

Small game update:

OGSF: Due to orders for my arty to change from 'smoke' to 'HE' being lost with the company carrier pidgeon, Alfred, the field now resembles a winter wonderland, half my armour is lost due to muddy conditions, friendly fire and an arty deluge by OGSF, UGH! we press on regardless into an unknown future........

Peng: Has been in hiding for a week, which is just as well as a Wirblewind I have parked right on the doorstep of a heavy building has stumbled across a vickers MG, its gonna get ugly for someone.

Mensch: His initial advance of four! Tigers (hows that for gamey, Andreas?) has killed a Wolverine in turn one, now the scaredy kitty-katz have popped so much smoke in which to hide my men are getting bored and have resorted to handball against the hulls of their tanks to pass the time....

Von Shrad: Night, rain, smoke barrage, flame-throwers and armour, I don't know what the hell's going on, units disappear and then reappear dead, wooo spooky!

Croda: Squires challenge; The dead continue to pile up as Meek's set-up from hell takes its toll. Fleeing squads, random contacts and general mayhem are the order of the day. This game is actually not as bad as it first appeared, aging Volksturm fall beneath a baguette battering while my frenchies drown in a flood of emphaseema coughed up from the 'old as ****' brigade.

'Upturned wheelchairs with the wheels still spinning creak across a foggy landscape, silent except for the distant barking of a lone dachshund'

[Chupacabra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

yak yak yak yak whine yak yak whine

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Good god, you're almost as long-winded as Senility! Why is it that certainly mentally challenged members of society seem to assume that the best way to participate in the Cesspool is "Please sir, may I have another?"

Sound off like ya got a pair!

The "science" and "logic" of which you are so overweeningly proud will do you little good here; you might as well forget them entirely in fact. Now, go suck on some eggs and polish Stuka's vole, and if you have something worthwhile to say, come back and say it.

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Grand Poobah of the fresh fire of Heh.

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Whizkid:

…am completely cowed by the overwhelming weight of your adjectives,metaphors,and grammatical excellence.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I guess you have not been here long, one thing the lads here don't have, is all of the above... cowed huh? sorry we don't do farm animals - wrong thread

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I realize now that I have unwittingly blundered into a part of Combat Mission that I never knew existed,and abjectly beg your forgiveness.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

First lesson never admit you are wrong you welp!!! Appaling ick ick ew you sniveling GIT.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>(Whizkid wanders off,head hung low,and tears streaming down his pale cheeks)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

pansy.. get get going back to the hole in which you slithered out of!...

C.M.O.T. Mensch has spoken... btw.. wanna buy a Stuka onna Stick?

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Der Kessel

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

…unless your'e playing Menschy-I-lost-to-the-wife-again)…<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

hold your tounge you critten! she was wearing the fluffy undergarments dammit I could not concentrate.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Mensch: His initial advance of four! Tigers (hows that for gamey, Andreas?) has killed a Wolverine in turn one, now the scaredy kitty-katz have popped so much smoke in which to hide my men are getting bored and have resorted to handball against the hulls of their tanks to pass the time....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

you think its a four tiger advance? LOL you poor poor fool I said my "ohh I forgot my brain at the door Stuka onna Stick"

the 101st Hvy Armour Div...a Squadron is FIVE (5) TIGERS... TWO SQUADRONS are 10 TIGERS... die-lots-now™

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Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by mensch (edited 11-03-2000).]

[Guest rune]

Scene: A Filthy, muck filled room, dank and filled with smoke. Chairs are setup in rows facing a stage, where a battle flag filled with holes is the background. The seats are occupied by creatures of all sorts...yes...I am talking about the cesspool. A lone spotlight comes on as a General walks to the podium. [that's a wooden thing with a mic, for your knowledge gerbilboy]

Berli [sgt at arms] "Atten SHUN"

[The room snaps to]

General Rune: "As you were rodents..."

[A scurrying of feet as the packed pool finds their seats]

General Rune: "Gerbils, hamsters, rabbits with long fangs, chinchillas, porcupines, sheep, kittys, chubbachingas or whatever the hell you are, and even you meeks....why must I come to address you troops? The Cesspool makes enough noise to bugger the dead normally [A chair moves] SIT down baushaus. You creatures makes enough noise to make howler monkeys green with envy. As an example, Whizzed Kid comes in and you make more noise then Seniletea did when he caught his privates in his zipper. I am proud of you for that.

However, some of you have been extremely remiss in their duties. Here I go and create battlefields that make Sgt Berli look pure, and yet NOT A SINGLE STATUS REPORT. I do not want war and peace, a simple name of the scenario you are playing, and your thoughts so far..."

[A whispering in the crowd begins]

" Yes, I know it is a lot to assume you can think...but I am creating my most evil masterpiece...314th Regiment of the 79th Infantry Division...yes, a whole regiment...taking on a German forified Fort. Yes Madmatt, there WERE Forts...

Wild Bill is helping me with the Map, and Bullethead leant a hand with the Fort itself. I even got help from a Frenchman [the room gasps] in actual pictures of the fort.

With such evilness being created...I expect the troops to do their duty and report in. I will be working on Communications this weekend, sacrificing myself in the land of tcp/ip. So, send me an email with Battlename, how far you are, and some input on the battle itself.

Failure to do so, will result in a lack of participation in the testing of my most evil of masterpieces. [sgt Berli whispers something] You think? [berli nods his head] OK then, those that fail to send in a report, shall play Berli in a battle of MY choosing. Any questions?"

[A lone hand pops up]

"Sgt berli, take jdmorse outside and have him shot. Any other questions?"

[No hands are raised]

" Good, carry on like the normal vermin you are"

Sgt. berli: "Atten SHUN"

[spotlight goes out as General Rune leaves the room]

[Guest Germanboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Whizkid:

I am so much more intellectual and so superior to you lot. I may only be 16 but my daddy has told me that to be an adult means you are not allowed to have any fun. He always wanders down to our cellar to have a laugh, and he uses a plier to close his zipper. My parents have told me all I need to know about life, the universe and all the rest and that explains quite well why I am the pathetic creature that I am. I also was given a dictionary for christmas by Santa with wonderfully big words in them. I know they don't make sense but they make me look so accomplished, which is a long way to go for the product of an Alabama trailer park. My handle on this board shows what I would like to be, yet the only whiz I manage (snip, let's not go there. ed.) I will now go and ask Col_Deadarse for a PBEM and we will be telling each other how wonderfully mature we are. Life as an adult is great.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah whatever. Get lost.

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Andreas

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-03-2000).]