killmore Posted October 29, 2000 Share Posted October 29, 2000 An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall, so he called an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, "I am a history buff, and I would like your interpretation of the what went through Hitlers's mind when he looked through the window of his bunker last time before he died. I am going out of town on business for a week, and when I return, I expect to see it completed." Upon his return, the billionaire went to the library to examine the finished work. To his surprise, he found a painting of a cow with a halo. Surrounding this were hundreds of Russians in various sexual positions. Furious, he called the artist in. "What the hell is this?" screamed the billionaire. "Why, that's exactly what you asked for," said the artist smugly. "No! I didn't ask for a mural of pornographic filth. I asked for an interpretation of Hitler's last thoughts!" "And there you have it," said the artist. "I call it, 'Holy cow, look at all those f..... Russians.'" BTS - I checked with MadMatt and he did not thought this joke will get me banned! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M. Bates Posted October 29, 2000 Share Posted October 29, 2000 Not bad, actually. F***ing would have made it clearer but less forum friendly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crepitis Posted October 29, 2000 Share Posted October 29, 2000 mmmmmm,Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AggroMann Posted October 29, 2000 Share Posted October 29, 2000 Thats Great... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted October 29, 2000 Share Posted October 29, 2000 Hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rommel22 Posted October 29, 2000 Share Posted October 29, 2000 That's hilerious, haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SS Peiper Posted October 29, 2000 Share Posted October 29, 2000 ROTFL SS Peiper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinty Posted October 29, 2000 Share Posted October 29, 2000 You caused me to waste half a piece of pizza,when I started laughing at that post! ------------------ Nicht Schiessen!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted October 29, 2000 Share Posted October 29, 2000 Half of a pizza? Erm, maybe you should try taking bites next time instead of shoving the whole pie in your mouth? ------------------ Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maj. Bosco Posted November 6, 2000 Share Posted November 6, 2000 [action]laughs hysterically and bumps thread[/action] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Private Parts Posted November 6, 2000 Share Posted November 6, 2000 Ah a fellow Yellow-Pages reader.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maj. Bosco Posted November 6, 2000 Share Posted November 6, 2000 All the best stuff gets burried Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted November 6, 2000 Share Posted November 6, 2000 funny stuff ------------------ Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less. -Anonymous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted November 6, 2000 Share Posted November 6, 2000 Hitler's bunker didn't have windows. =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priest Posted November 6, 2000 Share Posted November 6, 2000 David your ruining the mood ------------------ Sir are you sure you want to go to red alert...it would mean changing the bulb -Priest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russellmz Posted November 6, 2000 Share Posted November 6, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken: Hitler's bunker didn't have windows. =P<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> didn't the russians' artillery do a little "re-modelling"? ------------------ "They had their chance- they have not lead!" - GW Bush "They had mechanical pencils- they have not...lead?" - Jon Stewart on The Daily Show Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted November 6, 2000 Share Posted November 6, 2000 It was 40 feet underground, so the best they could've done was a skylight... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ntg84 Posted November 6, 2000 Share Posted November 6, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken: It was 40 feet underground, so the best they could've done was a skylight...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Dont be a smart ass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted November 6, 2000 Share Posted November 6, 2000 How dare you! It is one of the most important facts of the 20th Century that Hitler's Bunker Had No Windows. For lack of a nice view and a bit of sunlight, Hitler became depressed and ended up killing himself. Goebels attempted to cheer him up by projecting a countryside panorama onto his study wall, but had to stop when Hitler started to cite the unspoiled view as proof that the Allies had no power over Berlin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinkeez Posted November 6, 2000 Share Posted November 6, 2000 Heh, great joke..! It reminded me of this one: Brezhnev wished to commission a portrait to be entitled "Lenin in Poland" in honor of the fiftieth anniversary of the Russian Revolution. The problem was that Russian painters, being schooled strictly in the realist school of thought, were unable to paint an event which never occurred. "Comrade Brezhnev, we would like to do it, but we cannot. It goes against our training," was the reply which the Chairman received from every artist he asked. Finally, after getting refusals from all of the great artists in Moscow, Brezhnev was forced to go ask the old Jewish painter, Levy. "Of course, I prefer to portray actual events, but I'll do the painting for you, Comrade. It would be my great honor." Levy commenced work on the painting. However, every time that Brezhnev visited his studio in an attempt to see the work in progress, Levy rebuffed his efforts, telling him that he never allowed his unfinished works to be viewed. Finally, the day of the unveiling arrived. Levy stood proudly by the cloth draped over his work. Brezhnev introduced Levy and gestured to his gift to the Russian people on the fiftieth anniversary of the Russian Revolution, a picture commemorating Lenin's historic visit to Poland. Everyone gasped as the cloth was removed to reveal a picture of a man and a woman together in bed. Brezhnev was stunned. "Whoa, who is that man?" he stammered. "Why, that's Trotsky." "And who," Brezhnev inquired, "is that woman?" "That is Lenin's wife, Comrade Brezhnev." "But where is Lenin?" "He's in Poland." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Formerly Babra Posted November 7, 2000 Share Posted November 7, 2000 Hehehe, Jinkeez. Gotta be a Spartakist to appreciate that one ------------------ Sounds like 100% weapons-grade Balonium to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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