Yeknodathon

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Persephone: I present to you, the cross-dresser of the Cesspool and his wee spaniel. Persephone<hr></blockquote> That, my dear Patch, is a Yeknodling (before the vet's cruel designs) Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai: Perhaps, then, if we used the guns to kill the lawyers? And goddamnit, Dalem and Lars, no shootingin my neighbourhood! The neighbours have been a bit unsettled and stand-offish ever since Berli and Peng's Visit. Hello, all. I spent most of yesterday throwing up, so none of you were ever far from my thoughts. However, I'm a bit behind on turns, as a result. I shall labour manfully this evening to correct that. And Panzer Leader, I've hesitated to mention our game because I thought you might feel shame over the fact that the AI actually had to freaking intervene in order to bring you a Minor Axis victory. I've never seen a game played before where, after every opportunity to win was thrown away by a human player, the AI actually printed out "Sod this for a game of tin soldiers", and stepped in to win the game for the less deserving side. I would have won that game, or at worst pulled a draw, if not for the complete, unbelieving frustration of the AI with your inept infantry handling. Now, some might say this sounds like bitter grapes, but consider: I held the VL, and not lightly, but with most of a platoon and scattered units. His infantry was destroyed, routed, dead, cowering, and covered in their own bodily wastes. He had one immobilized Mark IV sitting quietly out of the way, and two live ones trundling around, out of HE, and achieving nothing. Then one of his bloody AFVs tosses a couple of AP rounds the two story light building that's also the VL, damage showing only one star, and all my bloody infantry suddenly bails out, allowing three German prisoners to also escape, and instead of running into the immediately adjecent, ally controlled buildings out of the line of fire, they haul arse down a long, open hillside, passing directly in front of one of his AFVs, which proceeded to shoot them to ****e. I end up with several of my stronger units decimated and routed, the VL all but empty, prisoners escaped, and no turns left to rectify. I've never seen the bloody Tac AI take a hand in what would have otherwise been an utter humiliation of a boastful former Squire. However, I plan to win a sodding Nobel Prize for my study of this game, showing that even 'Computer Code' can feel pity, if the object in question is pitiable enough.<hr></blockquote> (tch)... back to the knitting, I guess Yeknod

.... look, just an observation, but can't we all get along? Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Was I challenged by Yakupafurball? I must have missed that one<hr></blockquote> Nope, missed this one too, er, ahem, what exactly did we miss? Er, okay, right.... aha! ah, no, gone again... oh, dear, I'm confused, no matter... er, what? Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF: *sniff* Ah'm sae prood o' tha filthy wee bugger... Are ye smackin' tha wobbly snot oot o' anywun ailse just noo, Squire Yeknod? <hr></blockquote> *sniff*... Squire Yeknod?... *sniff*, *sniff*... me liege *sniff*... would you *sniff* suffer the contempt and repugnance of yer *sniff* knights for *sniff* this wee hooved bairn? oooooh OGSF *sniff* I couldn't allow it *sniff* blub, blub, awahawahawahawahawah Yeknod

Dear Elvis Turn received with thanks. Must point out that the oranges and fiery reds of that exploding Wespe spoils the general calming hues of that treeline. Please supply a second Wespe on yer other flank to balance me map... Kind Regards Yeknod

dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-da, ho-hum ooh, ooh, what's this?Slow Bore aka Rentavan gone a bit twitchy? No, no as a mere SSN I propose that Rentavan is doing a thoroughly splendid job and just the slightest proclivity towards issuing parking lot tickets should be appreciated... yes, yes, prancing around the MBT like a mincing, over-strained trollope is a tad bit unedifying, but hey its the only thing that keeps me coming back (aside: that should do it) ... now that me passages are clear, despite me better judgement, methinks a tussle with yonder Crates-Mutt is in order... but it's always best to delay gratification... ooh, ooh, which reminds me... where's me Elvis turn... OGSF (swoon).... ahhhh, something tugs bossom again (sigh)... oooh, those gruff, grating, dolcid tones make me go (shudder).. ahem, right, new meat eh? Hmmmm, this Berli fellow (weight moved to release pressure point off left buttock)... any good? Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Gates-slut: Yackythonodent Send a file or do somefink Oh! I feel so risque saying that. I wonder if Mr Gates ever does daring things like use jargon? I bet he does. He is ULTRA cool. 1000 points - computer picked forces meeting engagement. the rest is up to you. Gates-slut<hr></blockquote> Gates-slut ...well, ummmm, let me leaf through me diary... uhhaaa, yes, uhhmmm.... one small question (finger gyrating slowly in highly polished navel)... are yer worthy? Yer, see, take me Russell Crowe physique and note this arena, the Pool. Laddie, we are the athletes to give amusement and pleasure to the gathered throng. With our highly oiled and trained bodies, should we commence battle I must guage whether yer can maintain a measure of dignity in front of the baying, hooting masses... I just want to let you know that as the Poet Gladiator in this paddock I do have me standards... Now, against me better judgement, methinks a weekend bike ride is in order to sort me head and give due consideration to yer challenge... Yeknod

Dear Elvis Received your turn, with thanks. Noted with interest about not numbering files in future... though just wondering if it is acceptable to name files, as below Elvis_v_Yeknod_Bad_Luck Elvis_v_Yeknod_Was_That_a_Tank Elvis_v_Yeknod_Why_Are_They_Moving_Backwards Elvis_v_Yeknod_Bwabwabwabwa Elvis_v_Yeknod_Oops_That_Cost_Some_Points Elvis_v_Yeknod_Somethin_Smokin Elvis_v_Yeknod_I_Wouldnt_Do_That Elvis_v_Yeknod_No_Im_Over_Here Hope this meets with approval Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Patch: Gates-slut, you don't have to worry about Yackednowyodels...I have already rendered him completely harmless. Maybe you shouldn't go anywhere alone with him just in case...but you two have so much in common both being SSNs. <hr></blockquote> Gate-slut (grimace)... oh, me gawd, protect yerself, (shreaaaaaak) Bates-Fluff, I want to say that we have absolutely nothing in common, I have charm, wit and sophistication and resemble, on me better days, something that might be taken for human in poor light... but no matter, there's always hope and the vague chance of improvement... now the stark choice that faces us is 1] do you accept the the paper bag to hide in 2] do you accept the challenge of a battle on this hallowed turf? Yeknod

Gates-slut I propose a pact: there's safety in numbers here and should one of scabby raptors take a faulting lunge I'll be needing a lame distraction... Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Gates-slut: And this Yaknothodonothons guy. I don't know. I think he is a serial killer type. He is able to control his impulses as long as there is some light and a few witnesses. Never seen a serial killer crazy enough to bag a victim in front of a cop. They know right from wrong so they ain't crazy.<hr></blockquote> Flakes-Hut me breakfast cereals are me own affair but for the record random stabbings at me corn flakes is no indication of an unstable personality... well, not before me encounter with the "veterinary"... protect thee innocence, fair Mates-Buff from these scurvy blaggards Yeknod [ 01-09-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

Dear Elvis Where's me bleedin turn, yer half-binned apology for an empty void... Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Gates-lut: Whither Coventry, Berlio? And what's an SSN? Why is there air? What is this place and what are they doing to that man?! Well, well, well. What did the guy say when he saw three holes in the ground? How many fingers am I holding up? Q. How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. A Fish. These are things that have been on my mind. Gates-slut <hr></blockquote> Fine questions, fine questions.... ask Joe Shaw... he's (snigger)... at the Newbies desk (snigger) to answer all enquries... could tell yer meself (snigger)... but, uh, well it's good to see someone here who brings a bit of class to this hovel... and here, at me paddock, I entirely applaud yer fine sentiments for Mr Gates and his wonderful products... ...though just one minor quibble... it ain't a FISH yer backslidin, stomach-sucking amoeba, its a LOBSTER... and for that blindingly obvious mistake you owe me a setup... ...now, just a tiny bit of advice: beware of Patch "the surgeon" and the dapper "snip, snip"... shreaaaaaak Yeknod [ 01-08-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iskander: To quote a Fellow Knight: How dare you address me directly?<hr></blockquote> ...woolly vests, ear-muffs, woolly water-bottle covers, tea-cosies and the most delightful crochet sugar bowl covers...

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iskander: Other Matters: Why does Seanachai do what he does? Just as a leech does what it does and a dung beetle does what it does, so too does Seanachai often do what those leeches and beetles do... ???<hr></blockquote> ...Seanachi, by his own admission, knits... woolly hats, woolly jumpers, socks, and prickly undergarments. This might account for the rather uncouth and agitated presence of the Antipodean horde. Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna: Unfortunately, demotion is impossible for mr. Xia since you can't get much lower than the correctly identified strain of turnip.<hr></blockquote> ...ah, well, though if the overbearing mite isn't checked the flacid insect will set up office administering tickets to people... mark me words, this is the long, slippery road to car park planning and uniforms... Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF: Yeckythud, wah didnae ye ha'a wee go at tha Hans tosser? Bae vicious laddie, keep tha gathered throng o' recycled airsick bags amused wi' regular reports on ye progess ain tha gam, an' Ah meeght bae pursuaded tae tak ye fer a squire. Whuch as a proper an' non-Joe requiremaint fer progression tae Kannigethood - no' tha ye'll likely make at but ye ne'er can taill..Agua Perdido did. <hr></blockquote> (sniff)... ooooh, me knees have gone wobbly... (sniff)... Heinz sort of, er, well "disappeared" so... I mean, there I was setting Heinz up for the coup de grace and well, he jilted me... I mean, there you are with the opportunity of life-time (sniff), yer first, full-blown challenge and (sniff) he wonders off... ...actually, me sporran-wielding frenzy, Elvis is in the process of doing me battle... I hope this satisfies all parties including that third-rate, bureaucratic turnip that goes by the name of Slow Bore... I mean, yer give someone a tad bit of power and they flaunt it around like some wanton tramp... tch, demote the snivelling book-infested trollope.... grooooowl Yeknod

Dear Elvis ...likewise, had trouble sending setup to you so used Web-based email So many conventions, so many things to remember... remarkable that you should want to send me a surrender file this quickly. If I send YOU a surrender file, do I become a Senior Nugget? ... me email server is groaning and generally not in a cooperative mood... try again or use me original one - I think I must be up to 1, 2, 3 oooooh about 55 addresses... (sigh) being of an artistic temperament can be soooooo draining and today it just HAS to be the fucia-pink one. Try 'em all! One's bound to get through... though on a Sunday I don't accept pastel green emails... spoils me karma. Yeknod [ 01-06-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka: Don't forget to worship at the feet of the Seniour Kniggetts also, DonkeyKong.<hr></blockquote> Stuka aha, er, Seniour Kniggetts?... er, hmmm, are these the people that loose to Elvis? ...I'm just an ignorant fellow you see... if I lost to Elvis, would I become a Seniour Kniggett? Yeknod [ 01-06-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai: Well, you're an idjit, and there's no mistake about that, but it does you credit that you wish to understand the Peng Challenge Thread. There are three Olde Ones, and they are Seanachai, who began the Peng Challenge, and Mr. Peng, to whom the Challenge was addressed, and Berlichtingen, or Berli, the Adversary, or Enemy, who showed up within moments of the Challenge to belittle Peng, and challenge Seanachai. They/We maintain the balance and principles of the Universe. Seanachai maintains the Past, and Peng is the Present, and Berli is the Future. Seanachai is a short, aging, capering figure given over to fun and the odd jolly sing-song.\ Peng is a stern figure, arms crossed, curmudgeonesque, judging and judged, and pretty much half in the bag, from moment to moment. Berli is a figure, wreathed in smoke, outlined by flame, judged, and judgemental, knowing that all who live will pass before him eventually, whether to escape, or be undone. They are the Olde Ones. They sit, patient, eternal, and knowledgeable, in the Wasteland, and wait for the People to reach them. When the folk arrive, the three Olde Ones go on walkabout, again, further into the Nothingness that exists outside the Peng Challenge Thread. Seanachai twists and measures out the thread, and Peng weaves it into it's pattern. Berli stands, forever ready, to slash it across, and end everything. The rest of you little pillocks amuse us, and by your loud, argumentative, and daft passage into eternity, create the Reality of the Peng Challenge Thread. When you reach the Olde Ones, like so many chattering monkeys, we note your progression, and we move on into the emptiness that awaits us all, and wait for the folk of the Peng Challenge Thread to reach us. While waiting, we drink a lot, play Combat Mission, cribbage, compose poetry and songs, and have a good chuckle about the rest of you.<hr></blockquote> Cripes! As I feared... demi-gods bestriding the eons! And knitting too... what sort of jumper? You wouldn't, by any chance, have a matrix detailing demographic, social, cultural, gender and other general info concerning the mores, heirachies, conventions and general pecking order of the MBT in a convenient Excel spreadsheet? Stone tablets, perhaps? The more me hoof dips into the Pool, the more me brain swirls around at enormity yet beautiful simplicity of MBT and the issues that may crop up around... well, everything... Yeknod

Yes, I feel sad about the news of Carwood Lipton. CM:BO, Band of Brothers and Saving Private Ryan may not be to everyone's taste but I guess they reflect the service and sacrifice offered to my generation. Without them, however flawed, I would be all the more ignorant. Carwood Lipton and all who gave freely are heroes. Yeknod

Seanachai, For one such as myself bedazzled and confused by the mighty roar and clamour of the MBT yet marvelling at the representative range of humanity that it thrusts upon us, I was wondering who among the vast array of peoples and talents displayed here, who among the thronging gamut of splendour and insignificance, are the Olde Ones? NOT that I would even consider.... well, er, ahem (whisper) another "incident"... but that I might tread these halls, doffing me head here and there to me betters and (wince) maidens while beginning to sort the flotsam from the jetsum to facilitate a meaningful challenge. Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF: Noo tha at matters meend, but tae clarify at ain Seanachai's tiny meend - Morairty as on a losing streak agin mae. Tha score o' "3" hae referred tae was hais score. Twit. An' fer ye uselaiss wanker's at large, Ah jess funished playin' Goanna's latest scenario effort, "Where Eagles Dare". Tha laddies done a grand job wi' at. At's prolly tae complex fer tha most o' ye, but at's a very good waste o' 90 minutes or sae. Recommended tae ye. Tha hero o' course were Cpl OGSF, drivin' tha getaway HT. Most o' ye buggers died a grisly death at tha hands o' tha SS. Mace, Ah laift ye tae bae shot doon oop ain tha castle. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy<hr></blockquote> ummmm (dreaming) the siren tones tug me again... but I must resist... even though I wait hour upon hour for just a little more... Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace: I'd rather not. Mace<hr></blockquote> ....hmmmmm, yes, I see what you mean... I don't know why but I seem drawn closer to the fellow and with this in mind I've prepared myself for the encounter... any advice approaching the wee Jock will be appreciated... for instance, is it a fair maiden? Yeknod