Yeknodathon

... I think I want me mommy too... Baseball, pathetic. Yeknod

Eh? I'm not mad, I'm a squirrel *chip* *chip* *sniff*, of course, one might question whether rambles can be seen (rather than heard)... oh, well, must be "bramblings" or "granualings"... "a collection of lunatic granualings"... altogether much better as they can be seen and not necessarily heard... unless dropped. Not that I'm being pedantic in the slightest. No, no, no,... is it time for tea? Did someone leave? Yeknod [ July 18, 2003, 12:27 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

Yes, the mustachoed shadow puppet decoy ruddy duck signal... devastating. [ July 16, 2003, 05:09 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

Splendid, we're going to n'get a g-nu? Yeknod [ July 16, 2003, 04:27 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[scribbles something in the Paddock Book of Listless Plonkers... ] Yer on me list... under... [scribble, scribble, scribble] ...hmmmm [scribble] Kokos [... and with a *honk* and at a trot something does several turns around the Paddock to a croaky Sullivan, nostrils vibrato forte] As some day it may happen that a victim must be found, I've got a little list--I've got a little list Of society offenders who might well be underground, And who never would be missed--who never would be missed! There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs-- All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs-- All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat-- All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like _that_-- And all third persons who on spoiling tete-a-tetes insist-- They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed! CHORUS. He's got 'em on the list--he's got 'em on the list; And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed *sniff* thrilling, bleedin' thrilling... one just can't get enough of existence... assumed or otherwise (which isn't a lot)... its all just too dreadful and weary when one has to compile a list of one. Yeknod [ July 16, 2003, 02:37 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[And from a shaded corner of the paddock where grey and heavy beasts drowse amid the spectacular summer parade of odd things that fly, crawl and bite their merry way to a stiff wintry terminus something stirs. And from the dappled shadows a languid tail swings at some of the more annoying things that crawl, buzz and nip... and there seems to be rather a lot of 'em this summer] *sniff* the crayons weren't thick enough... and some need to be very thick... and that's yer giant sequoia thickness to reflect yer...er... umm... thickness. ... and I shouldn't think it tastes very good either... [thinks a bit] ...that's yer list, not yer sequoias which might pose a few difficulties *sniff* ... for some. [gazes forlornly across the sun-drenched vista noting the general cacophany of clicking and unnecessary movement brought on by the need to scurry] Well, I shouldn't be surprised... summer... *sniff* ... pathetic Don't suppose yer have a carrot? Eh? Just a small one? Mini carrot? Bonzai carrot? Bother... I'll eat the list? Yeknod

What is this, some sort of craptacular Matrix Reloaded or sumfink? </font>

[blinks, slowly, with growing gloom] *sniff* ...appendix: Scandinavian... without horns Yeknod

[... and from a bleak, desolate, rain-soaked shed that accommodates everything remotely grey or heavy, a snout emerges to sample the day's teasing prospect of excitement, optimism and the fun-packed joy of tripping lambs and Julie Andrews draped across an Alpine slope] *sniff* ... oh, SirReal... better make a note... *sniff* ... if crayons were thick enough... ...ummmm, this one will do: ahem, .... "Scandinavian"... ummmm... suppose that's it, really, not much to add... well, terrific... marvelous... one just can't get enough variety. I'll try it again. Scandinavian. Scandinavian, Scandinavian.... Volvo, fjord Remarkable... does it come with a helmet? With horns? Yeknod [ June 21, 2003, 08:35 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

It's a brussel sprout... a Gaylord brussel sprout. And its detached from its Gaylord brussel sprout stem. Sad really. Oh, I suppose one can muster enough desire to swallow it whole and wait for the inevitable ripple. *snap* Yeknod

How I imagine Fockup Yeknod

[... and from a dim and distant paddock enclave, the sound of scribbled crayon can be heard amid various snorts, mutterings and the odd scratching noise] *sniff* Fockup... fockuped... peerless prat. Yeknod

I should think laughing is very over-rated... not that I've tried... and one has to maintain a certain deportment in these matters... *sniff* no, glumness... brooding glumness and misery is our lot. Unless one has a tail and I don't think Gnomes have tails... but then tails can only be so diverting and in a limitless universe yer tail is subject to yer entropy and yer coporeal decay and yer shedding skin and wotnot... and that ain't funny at all... *sniff* .... [thinks a bit] ... and knowing there's a light at the end of tunnel one cannot help but conclude that its the freakin' 06:15 am Express to Rotherhithe... *sniff*... pathetic really... not in yer usual way, but in yer, "oh, the 06:15 am Rotherhithe Express light at end of tunnel seems to have stopped for no particular reason, shall I charge it?"... (one fancies being a suburban Rhino) until one remembers that horns are lacking on a donkey... sad really Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock [ June 10, 2003, 12:54 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

... one gets a fungal infection... it all starts this way... Yeknod

[continues to whirl the tail through sweeping arcs] *sniff* love at first regurgitated pellet... lovely... oh, well who'd have thought that Cupid lay among the remains of half-digested dismembered rodents? *gack* *gack* [coughs up a thistle] *sniff* not quite a pellet but one can only try... Yeknod [ May 24, 2003, 02:24 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

You met an owl? </font>

[... and from the Paddock dojo, something grey and heavy, clad in a tight-fitting PVC suit, conducts rather clumsy kung-fu moves with all the panache and style of a crushed snail... or Panzer Leader in a frantic moment] I am *sniff* the one. Yeknod [ May 22, 2003, 02:51 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

And what of you? And what OF you, Nerdan? You talk as if you're a graduate of the Floyd the Barber school of toughness. I've seen pictures of you, and although you look like a bulbous, long-neck swilling, endomorphic teamster, mentally, you're more like Shemp Howard meets Mortimer Snerd. You want to talk about vapid posts? The most exciting thing I've read of yours was almost the emotional equivalent of a 401k meeting that went right through lunch. People who read your posts form self help groups. I would engage in a verbal sparring match with you, but after noting the dim flicker of intelligence that usually is the keynote of your aimless postings, I feel that mentally, you'd be outmatched by a McRib sandwich. Now, I tried to teach you. I tried using a method of dicipline not unlike Huck Finn's father, but without the tenderness, but I see it was wasted. You've made me quite sad. </font>

bwabwbawbawbwbwbwbawba.... honk, honk, honkety-honk

Ahhh *sniff* yer a Nobbit, eh? Out with it, tell us yer little Nobbit ways? Yeknod [ May 08, 2003, 04:06 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[oozing more solemnity than is reasonable while glumly contemplating a reflection in the paddock pond] ... I've always wanted auburn highlights... or perhaps peroxide streaks with dashing coal-black stripes for that real Zebra look... *sniff*... question is whether Boo could handle yer average hair dryer without tripping over and attempting an accidental liposuction procedure... ... well, okay, I'll give anything a go...it can't get much worse. Why should Ohioan's get all the thrills? Eh? Yeknod

[standing, weary, this last statement is considered with great solemnity and physical effort] *sniff* better make a note of that... Boo, hairdressing services for free, obviously good with perms and blue rinses, must remember tip for conversation. *sniff* fancy a different grey tint... Yeknod

*sniff* I suppose this means Boo is dead, too... Bother. I've just gained the will to live. Yeknod [ May 06, 2003, 02:15 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[thinks a bit...] [...and swings a soft, existential sort of tail for difficult questions about the Universe, collapsing stars and the location of the next thistle...] [... and thinks some more] Oh... bother, I think I am.... or not... bugger. Yeknod