Dave H

You mean to tell me "The Rat Patrol" really could have knocked out all those German tanks every week? Well, live and learn.

Dear MasterGoodale, I have already sent you an e-mail telling you I surrender. I enclosed my password in the e-mail so you could inspect my surviving Germans. I already posted a message here announcing that I surrendered. If I hired an airplane to fly over your home and skywrite "Dave H surrenders", would you get the message? Our game is over, kaput, the end, finis. Since Soddball is either made of sterner stuff than me, or is a ravenous glutton for broken promises, I suggest you devote your CMBB time to that battle. By the way, I am not now a member, nor have I ever been a member of any Brood. Unlike the rest of you maggots who apparently hatched in a pile of manure somewhere, I happen to be the product of spontaneous generation. Either that, or the stork brought me.

Another convert. Welcome to the insanity. You'll find this forum to be full of great, helpful people. The Peng thread is, of course, a completely different story, but you'll have to find that out for yourself. A few months ago I would have said the advantage of roads was reducing your chance of bogging in the open ground. However, since then I have had several tanks bog in the middle of the road, while tanks a few meters to either side rolled merrily through open ground and scattered trees. I know roads make a big difference for trucks, though. Maybe that's really where the benefit comes, for wheeled vehicles and maybe halftracks, as opposed to fully tracked AFVs.

This reminds me of something: A few years ago, while I was between real jobs, I took a temporary job, which was grading the standardized tests taken by several grades of school children in Indiana. The acronym for the test is ISTEP, and every high school student in Indiana must eventually pass it to receive his or her diploma. I used to come home every evening so depressed. I was grading the math section of the test for 6'th graders. Far too many of them knew nothing about math. One question involved adding several periods of so many hours and so many minutes together. I am not kidding when I tell you at least HALF of the kids thought there were 100 minutes in an hour. We figured it was from only knowing how to tell time from digital clocks. I could go on and on about that test. The real tragedy is the way the contractor responsible for the test looked for every possible way to award partial credit. One question involved a softball team that was half boys and half girls. I think it said one-third of the boys had hats. The solution to the problem was to compute the number of boys who had hats. However, if a kid did absolutely no math, but drew a square or circle and divided it in half, that was worth half credit!! Some days when I had a chance I would read some of the writing section of the test. It was far worse than the math!! So many of those kids couldn't begin to communicate in writing. I remember one girl from Gary writing in the scrawl of a small child about how hard it was for her to try to write something. She mentioned a friend who had been shot and killed. I told Becky after reading it that a lot of these kids have no chance in life. They are so far behind already by the sixth grade that they will never catch up. I guess most of those kids left high school this spring. Now they'll be more or less of a burden on us adults for the rest of our lives. What's worse, now they're having their own children. Talk about a downward spiral. Now I feel depressed again from writing this. [ August 05, 2003, 10:46 PM: Message edited by: Dave H ]

Isn't that what we Amurricans call a quarter-pounder with cheese? You metric zombies are so hopeless! Becket, I would tell him exactly what he could do with a Royale with Cheese, but I'd rather not start a discussion about any part of mike's anatomy. Actually, I suspect the very best thing he could do with it would be throw it in the trash. Or don't buy it in the first place.

You might want to see Seanachai's tale of woe in the Peng thread about his recent return to the US from Canada. It didn't sound like an especially pleasant experience trying to get safely back south of the border. Of course, it's remotely possible the Minnesota maggot may have exaggerated slightly. Remember, don't take any potatoes with you, and don't bring any meat back. So finish your Freedom Fries before the border northbound, and finish your Big Mac before the border southbound. Otherwise, the Mounties will be all over you and the body cavity search will commence! Oh, have a good time mike. See you when you get back. I hope the residents of Vancouver have all had enough to drink for a while.

I give up! MasterGoodale, please accept my surrender in our game. You can put anything you want in your sig line. Your cunning strategy of promising turns and not following through has worn me to a frazzle. I can't take it any longer.

Axe, this looks like a clear case of terrorism. Time to call in the US Department of Homeland Security, which won't mind ignoring details like an international border. You guys do have oil in Canada, right? And I'll have my calculator back, thank you very much! Bravo on a terrific post for a slow Monday morning.

Uhh, yeah, right. MasterGoodale, I believe every word you say, but watch out for the rest of them.

Ditto. Please keep us posted.

Teddy, good to see you back from your latest secret mission. I suppose that once again the forces of good have triumphed, and that you got the girl, or at least some female mammal. Nudge, nudge, . My last turn to escape the ant infested Basement of Mold and Maggots arrived July 13, so we're over halfway into the second fortnight. I think I'm just going to surrender (assuming that someday I get the chance) and get it over with. Why beat a dead horse (or a horse's very close relative) like MasterGoodale any longer? :mad: :mad: I hope your mum the Queen is bearing up after the death of her friend Bob Hope. Seems that more and more of her friends are finding their way into the Dead Pools. I wonder if she plans to hold out long enough to not only skip Charles, but also Prince Will, and pass the reign on to the third generation.

Oh, I'm touched! A compliment from a guy who thinks Henny Youngman's "Take my wife...please" is the epitome of comedy.

This from the very guy the Lumberjack Song was written about?

Congratulations to WallyBob for playing our QB meeting engagement to a draw. I managed to lose 2 captured Pz IVs, a captured StuG, three OT-34s, five Stuarts, and three M-17s, mainly to his platoon of Tigers. As if to show how superior his armor was, he RAMMED my last M-17 with a Tiger and machine gunned the entire crew. :mad: I think WallyBob got a big kick out of slaughtering too much of my infantry with his Tigers, too. He made some kind of comment about my men making good lubricant for the running gear. Nice guy! I'm down to six PBEMs now. Of course, one is with the moldy maggot from New Hampshire, who NEVER sends turns, so for all practical purposes it's five. Maybe there will be time for more CMBB PBEM before the dawn of CMAK.

WallyBob, thanks for playing out the last few turns of our battle. I appreciate it. Shosties, did you really expect me to tell you if all of my troops are conscripts? Well, the answer is no, a few of them are not. I figure if their commander (me) is about conscript level, then the soldiers should be, too. Rematches are already due to mike_the_passed_out, Axe, Jim Boggs, Crow, and Keke. Rematches soon to be due to WallyBob, Teddy Windsor, Prinz Eugen, Shosties, and Stalin's Organ. You'll all have to wait until I feel like starting up new battles again. IF I ever feel like starting new battles again, before CMAK comes out. No rematch will ever be due to MasterGoodale, the moldy maggot. I feel like each turn is a whole new game with him when the turns are three weeks apart or more. :mad: :mad:

I've only bought a truck in a QB when I have a towed gun. I had one that took almost 15 minutes to cross a small wheatfield in the rain. That was without any interference by my opponent. Not only that, the AT rifle team in the truck refused to get out, even at the snail's pace it was moving. :mad: :mad: I'm currently playing a PBEM scenario with several dozen trucks and kubelwagens, and getting them to move anywhere under sporadic long-range fire is like herding cats! I seriously considered abandoning the stupid things and making my infantry walk. There are few things in CM so aggravating as having a truck suddenly reverse and cut off a column of tanks for a minute or two. :mad: :mad:

I concur; basically we can describe your turn rate as "abominable". </font>

Oh yeah, like that's worth something. Since nobody reads his sporadic ravings anyway, what difference does his sig make? :confused: :confused:

For an interesting contrast, Jim Boggs and I recently completed a 50 turn game in 18 days. He and Axe also played 50 turns and finished even faster. Soddball, if a game isn't fun, what's the point in playing? Put that battle out of its misery and send me a set-up. I'll at least send turns pretty regularly. I really liked the small battle Jim and I played, an attack with 700 points for the defender on a small map. Turns are very easy.

It's a horrible place where about a half dozen half-witted old men from Minnesota have gone to await the deaths they all deserve so richly. Think of it as the internet equivalent of Floyd's barber shop from Mayberry, or a bench for whittlers in front of a small town's courthouse. Each of these raving loons uses a handful of different member accounts to call each other names and use up most of BFC's bandwidth. In theory the thread was originally for challenging each other to games of Combat Mission, but that seems to have disappeared over time. The most likely explanation is the old geezers' hands have degenerated to the point where they can't use a mouse any longer, so they can't actually play Combat Mission. The one thing that brings some small measure of cheer into their pathetic lives is smiley faces, so if you venture into the thread, use as many as you can. Oh, and SOD OFF is an acronym for their group, which is Secret Old Duffers - Over Fifty Five. They like to stick that in their posts like it means something else. :cool: :mad:

Great picture! :eek: Maybe those green troops don't recognize fire. Or maybe their platoon leader told them to stay put, no matter what happened. Luckily they seem to be wearing their asbestos uniforms.

Congratulations to Crow!! Our battle of "Counter Intelligence" ended in a draw. His Russians put up a gallant defense, with a single machine gun accounting for 22 Germans. Most of the fighting took place in heavy buildings, ensuring short ranges and heavy casualties to both sides. Our commando raid was successful in killing Russian officers, but the cost was far too high. Oh, and Soddball (you maggot)

Congratulations to Jim Boggs for a 73-27 major victory over me! This was a 50 turn extravaganza, which hung in the balance for a long time. Jim's attacking Germans kept pushing until my two platoons of Russians could not stand and fight any longer. :mad: Both of us caused 60 casualties, but at the cease-fire, there were 49 broken and panicked Russians facing 151 onrushing Germans. :eek: Two bright spots for the Russians: My Regular T-34 caused 15 casualties, until it lost a shoot-out with Jim's Conscript StuG. :eek: My sharpshooter caused 6 casualties and knocked out 2 mortars. I wish he's had more ammunition. Anyway, congratulations again to Jim. Well fought!!

Okay, all the pieces of the great cheese conspiracy are falling into place now. First came the new title of this thread, cleverly morphing the beloved and traditional "Cheery" into the similar, but subtly different and somewhat negative "Cheesy". :mad: Now a respected and award-winning journalist for the Miami Herald has ripped away the wholesome mask of life in a world filled with cheese. Read all about it HERE! :mad: An alleged doctor has allegedly discovered that cheese is allegedly habit-forming! Now where does cheese in the US come from? Wisconsin, of course. And where is Wisconsin? Why, nestled next to Minnesota, home of Jesse Ventura and the Combat Mission Olde Ones! Coincidence?? I don't think so! :mad: :mad: Not only that, Wisconsin is uncomfortably close to an actual foreign country!! That would be Canada, for the geographically illiterate of you. So a nation which has produced Axe and Michael Dorosh and Celine Dion and Peter Jennings lies suspiciously near the source of a mind-altering substance available nationwide at any grocery! :mad: :mad: It's all so obvious!! I demand an immediate investigation!! John Ashcroft, if you're reading this, look into this before it's too late. Imagine our great nation, prostate and helpless, at the mercy of the people responsible for the Peng threads, and Canadians like Michael J. Fox. Mind-boggling.

Now you've done it! Next thing we know Monkeybutt will show up to tell us all about the wonder that is cheese. :eek: :eek: Of course, for mike_the_whining a little cheese would go very well with his daily dose of wine. I suspect that m_t_w probably spends three or even four US dollars per gallon when he's feeling expansive and wants "the good stuff".