Dave H

Slow day in Canada today, Axe? What happened, did it snow? No logrolling, curling, lacrosse, or hockey today, eh? Maggot. How is Paula handling the mounting excitement of becoming Mrs. Axe? Running down the streets of your town shrieking at the top of her lungs something like, "Please, someone, anyone, kill me now!!" as any normal woman would do in similar circumstances? Just curious, that's the only reason I bring it up. Remind her that at least you're not Keke, Soddball, or mike_the_winesoaked, so things could certainly be worse.

I'm back again! Sorry for the lack of posts and/or turns. For once I actually have a good reason! On Thursday afternoon what should come sailing up the Ohio River but a genuine WW2 issue LST!! It has been berthed here in Jeffersonville since then, about 2 miles from my home. There have been thousands of people taking tours of the ship in the last few days, waiting in line 2 or 3 hours. As part of the exhibit, some WW2 reenactors and collectors brought out their toys, too. This particular LST is a veteran of North Africa, Sicily, Salerno, and Normandy. You can read about it at LST Memorial. As big as it looks on the riverfront, I can't imagine crossing an ocean on that little bitty thing. A Marine friend told me he spent 7 weeks cruising around the Phillipines aboard one in the 1950s, and the boredom was absolutely crushing. I've spent part of the last several days looking around the ship and all the other equipment on display. There are THREE Stuarts, which are really much smaller than you would expect. There is an M-16 sitting on the LST's deck which looks like it just rolled out of the factory. There are trucks and jeeps and trailers and an ambulance. The reenactors had M-1s, a 60 mm mortar, M-1 carbines, Springfields, and an M-3 grease gun. There were mortar rounds and several different rifle grenades. But the ship leaves today, so now you're all stuck with me again.

Challenge Gaylord Fokker and this thread and the next and the next will fill up in no time. Or you could invite your pen pal Schoerner (sp) over for a discussion of the role of Germany in the mid twentieth century. That will be good for some quick posts. :eek: Or mike_the_whino could enlighten us on the many ways heavy drinking contributes to his personal health and happiness. Maybe Soddball would be willing to help. Actually mike_t_w, I was raised Catholic, not Baptist. I had plenty of opportunities to see the effects of excessive drinking while living in a fraternity house for a year in college. After cleaning up friends who had passed out in pools of their own vomit, I could never figure out where all the fun was. :confused: :confused:

I define "gamey" as anything my opponent does that works. This is the exact opposite of the exquisite tactics I use. Oh, and in my dictionary there is a picture of Jim Boggs next to the word gamey, so there must be a connection.

Not even one of the *ahem* female species? What are Finnish women like? </font>

Axe, apparently research shows that Finns sleep only when the sun goes down. Have you ever seen one after dark?? Enjoy Keke's company while the sun is still high in the sky over Finland. In a couple of months we'll never hear from him, as he and all Finland hibernate through the winter with the musk oxen, polar bears, Norwegians, and Swedes.

Methinks Jim Boggs is selling his turn-generating ability far too cheaply. He finished a 50-turn battle with Axe in a matter of weeks; he and I are about 35 or so turns into our 50-turn fracas. Compare that pace to your average MasterSlowDale marathon. On top of that, he finds time to post reams of nonsense here, and he writes poetry in the Peng thread. Truly the sleep-inducing weather in summertime Florida has not kept the swamp-Boggs from cranking out a huge volume of turns and posts on the forum. For which we are all grateful, I'm sure.

We can fix this momentary setback, you miserable Californian. Let me adjust my soapbox here a second. Okay, that's about right. Ahem. "Friends, today I'm here to discuss the evils of demon drink!! GRRRRRRrrrrrr!!!!!" :mad: :mad: :mad: Is that getting you back into your normally sullen, slowly simmering level of antisocial behavior? If not, maybe Keke will post something and really stir you up. :mad: :mad: :mad:

I have to give the maggot credit. His communication skills are vastly improved. There are parts of this most recent post that are almost readable. I think that if he sticks to only using the P, C, S, and H keys, he'll eventually express a coherent thought. Maybe the bleach is killing the mold between his ears.

No, it's just the residual chlorine left in MasterGoodale's maggot blood from his "Assault on the Mold" with thousands of gallons of bleach. Of course, the runoff from his house has probably contaminated the groundwater all over New England.

Good Lord, the humanity!! The things I have seen which no human eyes were meant to see!! I feel like my skin has been coated with 10W30, and it isn't coming off. :eek: :eek: :mad: Yes, men, I have made my first post in the Peng thread, on the occasion of Seanachai's mother's successful operation. Forgive me, for I was caught up in his rejoicing and have sinned against God and man. I suggest that Cheery Wafflers drop him a message, to show what a class act we can be when nobody is looking.

Seanachai, on this occasion I will bend my resolve to avoid the toxic wasteland that is the Peng thread. Joyful news about your mother. As others have pointed out, I'm sure to her breast cancer pales vis-a-vis the abject shame of having birthed the village idiot of both of the Twin Cities. Please let her know that I for one don't hold your continued existence against her personally. It's simply a cruel twist of fate. Now I must sod off, and go take a 12-hour bath in mineral spirits to feel clean again.

Quick updates of the current games I can remember. If I leave anybody out, sorry. Jim Boggs, that gamey 50-turn German, knocked out my T-34 with his StuG. What he didn't know at the time was that his StuG was parked in the middle of an AT minefield. The next time it moved, he found out. Just immobilized, but it won't be rolling over my infantry. I read some of the comments in the Peng thread about Jim's 50-turn games. It appears those wannabes don't have the intestinal fortitude to go the distance. Crow has bled my German commandos severely. The officers they were sent to eliminate are not feeling too well. Sadly, we will have lots of empty seats on the trip home. Teddy Windsor and I are jointly trying to destroy every building in the town in the original Cheery Waffle. Many are already ablaze, and more than a few are smoking piles of rubble. UXcva_ and I are early in Cheery Waffle, the Director's Cut. With me as his Russian company commander, I realize Ted is really in a tough spot. The suave Teddy Windsor is in command of my Germans, so I can just coast. You will be glad to hear that Keke is doing a bang-up job driving his kubelwagen. Shosties4th has been quoting Fionn Kelly, and has told me how much JasonC knows about weapons and tactics. I'm thinking he is a ringer in our cute little thread. My Russians are being shot down in bunches. I suspect Shosties is actually a ... a ... GROG!!! :eek: Stalin's Organ and I are close to a stalemate. Unfortunately he still controls all of the VLs. My attack is oozing toward him with the speed of a runaway amoeba. His counterattack, led by Matildas of all things, has been halted by some of my troops who never could reach my point of attack. For a while I thought the Brits had opened a second front right here. WallyBob still has a couple of Tigers scurrying to find a safe place away from my uber-pioneers. We still have plenty of demo charges, which when combined with a Tiger make a most satisfying BOOM!! Prinz Eugen, good to see you back. You decide if you want to continue our battle or not. MasterGoodale, I sincerely hope your daughter is recovering. Our game will still be there when you're ready to get back to it. My Germans may be surrounded and vastly outnumbered, but they're ready to take whatever you throw at them.

List these as "Very Effective". In a current PBEM my Russian pioneers have destroyed two Tigers in massive explosions. Quite a thrill, actually!

That's beautiful, Axe. It gives me the exact same feeling as when the doctor examined my prostate. Only more so.

Hey Prinz Eugen, I was always on your side!! All these people saying such terrible things about you didn't influence me in the slightest. You Finn-maggot!! I have to admit, compared to some of the absolute garbage I see people posting in the General Forum, this thread seems the very epitome of civilized discussion. Sure we all generally despise each other - that's a given. But at least most of the posts here make some kind of sense. Even MasterGoodale (the maggot), although he has a curious way of saying things, follows his own peculiar logic. Long distance group hug - the only kind I want here!

Sorry to hear this Mike Can you clarify that last line. Are you referring to your computer or Goodale? </font>

I'm speechless. You like me. You really like me! Oh wait, that's been used. I'd like to thank the Academy... No, it certainly doesn't apply in this thread. Let me just say that to be included in the list of things near and dear to the hearts of so many maggots makes all of my CMBB losses somehow worthwhile. Now I need to find the ringleaders of the conspiracy behind this. :mad:

Teddy, are you really going to eat some hardtack left over from Sir Francis Drake's voyage around the world? That's veddy British of you, old man, stiff upper lip and all that. How long were you queued to get it? Where did you find it, Harrod's?

I am currently defending against Jim Boggs in the infamous 50 turn PBEM. I agree with Jim that 50 turns is not gamey. I also agree with Axe that Jim Boggs himself is completely gamey, plus he lives in Florida. Not that there's anything wrong with that. When I finally noticed or remembered this was a 50 turn battle, I pulled some squads out of the line and formed a reserve. Ammunition problem solved. Jim, I didn't appreciate your gamey StuG destroying my completely ungamey and useless T-34. See my sig line. :eek: :mad:

Sign her up as a member and get her in this thread. Anyone (everyone) who mocks you has a warm spot in my heart! If she can put up with you, a few characters like mike_the_weiner and MasterGoodaleMossVomitAntsWorkDryer shouldn't faze her a bit.

All right, Axe and Boggs, I found your little bits of what passes for wit in Canada and Florida on the General Forum. Har, har, har. You two should have your own late-night talk shows. I'll be watching for you on the next HBO comedy special. Okay, since conspiracies seem to be the issue of the day, let me pose a couple of questions to the maggots of the MoldyCheeryWaffle. I'll use the guy in the article Crow posted as an example. First of all, I don't have any idea if anything has really happened or not in this case. It's neither more nor less than an example. If this guy had been a Mafia insider who testified this week against organized crime, then disappeared later in the same week, would you admit the possibility of foul play? Would you have any suspicions whatsoever? Not even a little? Okay, now another question: Now, if this specific organization (the Mafia) is willing and able to protect itself and its activities from public scrutiny, does that make it unique in all the world? See, easy questions.

Please ignore the black helicopters on the way home.

I only know how disagreeable you can be sitting calmly at home or at work, typing on your computer keyboard. I can only imagine what a raving lunatic you must be when you're really upset about something. Maggot. GRRRRRR!!!! :mad: :mad: Oh, a quick FYI. I found my gangsta name at a site linked on the General Forum. You maggots may now refer to me as Janky Hoopti Rida. Thank you very much.

Soddball, just received a Kubelwagen in Cheery Waffle 2.0, and it came with a certain uber-Finn driver! Nice touch.