Dave H

I looked in the Opponents Wanted forum and couldn't find this thread. So what happened? The forces of the status quo triumphant again!! So much for Soddball being a liberal. So, what's the plan when CMAK comes out in a few months? Where will the Cheery Waffle thread go then? Hmmmm? To the CMAK forum? What about the guys who prefer the Eastern Front, especially the uber-Finns? :confused: MasterGoodale (the maggot) can really be funny. I really enjoyed his announcement that he was going on vacation. It certainly isn't a vacation from sending CMBB turns. Soddball, just surrender your game and be done with it. Six months is way too long to play a single scenario. My current game with MGdale is a 45+ turn, 4,500 point abomination (created by the self-titled Grandmaster himself). I have no hope of finishing it this calendar year unless Goodale can accelerate to a faster pace than a single turn every week or two. There are several of you (Keke, Axe, mike_the_wino, UXcva_) I owe rematches to, and several of you (Nippy, Soddball, Shosties, etc.) I haven't yet played, and I have an idea I'd like to toss out for your consideration. My idea is to set up a small (1,200 point) battle where we purchase our own units. The twist would be that I would use the same map and the same defending units in all the battles. You guys would select your own units for a probe. That way I would have no idea what any of you were using in your probe. What do you think? Anybody game (not gamey mike, game)? I'll call it the first "Beat Dave Like a Rented Mule Tournament".

You know, that's a good idea. Someplace where we put some distance between ourselves and that "other" challenge thread sounds great to me. Do you think BFC will mind if we make a change to another forum? :confused: It is always fun to play against somebody who is used to successful tactics from other games, for instance, leading attacks with your best armor. I'd say just like the maggot MasterGoodale, but I'm afraid he's wised up lately. GRRRR!!!! :mad: :mad:

I'm here this fine morning to report a miracle. I have seen one of WallyBob's Tigers explode from a well-chucked Russian demo charge. I may have to save this turn for a long time, because I have never seen a Tiger blow up before. Gotta tell you, it was well worth the pioneer casualties taken in the resulting explosion. Other news: Received a turn from Prinz Eugen over the weekend. It turns out he is spending most of his summer computer time playing Medieval:Total War (the maggot). Our game may be delayed until he gets back to school and gets over this summer infatuation. Crow's Russians are slowing my German commandos. Since the scenario is only 18 turns, will I have time to accomplish the objectives? He seems to be enjoying PBEM, so the rest of you gamey maggots get ready for another opponent. Oh, I have discovered he took his member name from the Crow of the comic books and movies, not the robot Crow of MST3K. What a relief! :cool: Stalin's Organ is enjoying the cold air which blows directly from Antarctica to New Zealand this time of year. Our scenario is pretty much past the "my dug-in KV shoots all your trucks" stage, and I'm finally slowing his escape route off the map. Will it be enough to slow the flight of his Russians? Having to cross a bridge to get away is pretty tough. :eek: Teddy Windsor and I finally made contact with our infantry in Cheery Waffle. I think he wants my Germans to get out of town. That won't be happening any time soon. We'll level the town first. MasterGoodale was again AWOL over the weekend. What a shock! Since he set this battle up as a 45+ turn epic, I expect to finish it sometime in the next couple of years. Soddball is over in the GF starting political threads like some kind of America-bashing, pinko, liberal Englishman. Next thing you know the forum police will be following him back to this refuge from the nastiness of the GF. GRRRR!!!! :mad:

Congratulations to UXcva_ for his 73-27 major victory in our meeting engagement. His collection of German "assault guns" killed six T-34/85s and 2 SU-100s to the loss of only two Hetzers. My veteran Russians were unable to identify a single vehicle, even when they were less than 100 meters away. Are all of the Russians in CMBB blind or something, or has BFC given the Axis stealth technology? Ted's Pz IV/70 (or something like that) personally killed 3 T-34s, 1 SU-100, and 17 infantry. GRRRR!!! :mad: :mad: I also made the mistake of selecting SMG armed infantry, which didn't help on the large open map. They were able to hold two flags even after their armor support collapsed. However, any Germans over 100 meters away could run around in complete safety. In other news updates, Stalin's Organ and I are having a mutual traffic jam in the scenario we are playing. Truck drivers are really unpredictable, and far too concerned with saving their own necks. Prinz Eugen sent one turn and has disappeared again. The Russian railroad station remains safely in Soviet hands. WallyBob has a Tiger immobilized and surrounded by my Russian pioneers. I hope he's not expecting his crew to return home any time soon. Unfortunately, that still leaves him at least two more Tigers on the prowl. Crow and I have just started our scenario, which is named Counter Intelligence. My German commandos are attacking his Russians. Unlike Soddball's Kneiber Dam, this takes place in daylight. The dashingly urbane Teddy Windsor and I are slugging it out in Cheery Waffle. His Russian guns keep hitting Germans, my guns keep plowing up the dirt. I think the current standings are Teddy in first place, the dirt a close second, and me a distant third.

I think you mean the long-running, futile attempt to contain MasterGoodale's eruptions continues... But let's not quibble.

Yes, but how would you react when the minister of state security announces he needs your money to build prisons and hire guards for the subversives? Or the minister of education needs the money to rebuild the schools destroyed by bombing, and to hire teachers to replace the ones now in the military. Or the minister of transportation needs the money to rebuild damaged bridges and tunnels. Or, more likely, when they all need your money at the same time??? :eek: :eek: Actually I personally believe the worst thing any nation can do is throw all of its money into arms and war production. That is wasted effort, and produces nothing of lasting value. Ask the former Soviets how it worked out for them. I'd better watch out, Soddball might get me into trouble with the General Forum police.

Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold. Before we can process your order, please give us a valid credit card number and the expiration date. Trust us. Crow, I'll get back to you later this evening. I'm sure there's something out there to fill the bill. It's funny you mentioned this: "Pre set forces (possibly in a scenario?) would probably be a good thing rather than allowing me to choose 2 anti tank guns to face his 5 infantry platoons", as that is exactly the situation I find myself in with the MaggotGoodale. Except it's more like 3 anti tank guns against 20 infantry platoons. I sure wish I had machine guns instead of anti tank guns. Whoever heard of MasterGoodale using infantry, of all things?? GRRRR!!!! :mad:

Actually, it was the sameness of the military units and the sameness of the combat that bored me the most. It's the very same problem I had with Cross of Iron back about 10 years ago, and the same problem I had with Empire before that. I couldn't identify with an army or corps or airfleet like I can with, for example, an anti-tank gun. In CMBB I find myself thinking, "Just hang on for a few more seconds and the MG will get set up and open fire on that infantry squad that has you pinned." :cool: Nothing against Strategic Command as a game. I've been reading an AAR on that thread between Jersey John and Disorder that really got me interested. Evidently they are a lot more into it than I felt. To me the units are just generic infantry, generic armor, generic air. If I want to do production and research I think I'll play MOO2 and Alpha Centauri instead.

Maggots, I've got some bad news for you. Last night I downloaded the demo for Strategic Command and tried it. It took me about 10 minutes to go numb playing it. So I'm sorry, but it looks like you maggots are stuck with me and my tactical ineptitude for a while longer. Soddball, I'd try one of your new so-called scenarios, but I think you banned me. :eek: I'm still searching for another scenario to try out on Keke. Axe, thanks a million for your suggestions. Apparently my middle group ran directly into the reinforcements you were shifting to your left. I had intended to use the groups on the right and left to try to pin your men on the flanks, and I actually had most of my infantry in the center. I'm learning a lot from you and Keke. I've learned from mike_the_wino, too, but that was how to be gamey. For you sad cases who have been over on the General Forum (like me), doesn't it make you appreciate the camaraderie of this thread? Oh, MasterGoodale (you maggot), for your information, that is a good thing. Sorry about using words with too many letters for you. Anyway, I had a guy over in the GF jump all over the nickname of my home state because I referred to him as a southern boy. Oh wait, that was our own Jim Boggs, the Florida maggot!! Jim, how is your wife progressing? Much better, I hope? :cool: Poor Soddball has been unfairly branded as anti-American in the GF. While there is no denying he is a drunk, a maggot, an Englishman, and the designer of bizarre scenarios (in descending order), I've seen no signs of him hating America. Some Americans, maybe, but not America. So Soddball, don't let a few zealots bother you. We love you, man. All of you maggots who haven't yet had the opportunity to crush me in CMBB, your time is coming. My last three PBEMs have seen me go down in flames to the tune of 95-5, 80-20, and 70-30. As you can clearly see, I'm on the upswing, so if you haven't played me yet, you'd better hurry before I reach the magical 50-50 and above. Limited opportunities are still available. Call now, operators are standing by. [ June 27, 2003, 09:28 AM: Message edited by: Dave H ]

Finally got around to dropping the gamey mike_the_wino and his clone from my sig line. I found a quote today from an uber-Finn that seemed perfect, so here it is:

Oh yes, Soddball has all the depth and sophistication of your typical amoeba. Of course, I knew you were joking when I read the words, "I have been enjoying Mr. sodball's scenarios" in your post. MasterGoodale, now I can see why your turns have been so slow. You are so constipated with rage that it's a wonder you can even find a keyboard. By all means keep chucking the TNT. My Germans will return the favor, but in lead for your overpopulated infantry division.

Can I borrow this as a new sig line?

Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!! Bravo! Bravo!! Author, author!! Keke, you do have a way with words. Oh, and: Actually, the anger in this thread is all a complete put-on. One thing about the Cheery Waffle thread - I don't think anyone has really gotten angry with another yet. That is, of course, with the exception of MasterGoodale (the maggot). He hates, and is hated by, pretty much every other living being on the planet.

If MasterGoodale (the maggot) ever regains consciousness and sees poetry in the Cheery Waffle thread, the angry molten TNT will fly!! GRRRR!!!! :mad: :mad: Either that or the shock will kill him. Hmmm, which would be better? :confused: So, samba_liten, have you had the pleasure of trying Soddball's Inferno scenario yet? You really owe it to yourself to try it once.

Crow, excellent essay. One slight correction, I offered to play against you, not to defeat you. The way things are going right now, I may never win another PBEM. Also, I think you deserve extra credit for the use of the phrases "Soddball's scenarios" and "wise course of action" in the same sentence. Quick question: Have any of you fine gentlemen (and possibly ladies) played Strategic Command? I see they've released version 1.07 or something, and thought it might be time to take a look. Besides, CMBB hasn't been working out so well lately. I've been crushed by Keke and Axe, I'm getting crushed by UXcva_, and I'm barely hanging on against, God help me, MasterGoodale (the maggot). :eek: I'm thinking maybe I'm trying to win WW2 at the wrong level. Maybe I'd do better conducting diplomacy and production than trying to get a tank into hull-down position.

Here's my 100 word essay: Because I am apparently too stupid and hardheaded to refuse to play one of Soddball's miserable excuse of a scenario. Because I am apparently too stupid and hardheaded to refuse to play one of Soddball's pitiful excuse of a scenario. :eek: Because I am apparently too stupid and hardheaded to refuse to play one of Soddball's horrifying excuse of a scenario. Because I am apparently too stupid and hardheaded to refuse to play one of Soddball's grotesque excuse of a scenario. Because I am apparently too stupid and hardheaded to refuse to play one of Soddball's malignant excuse of a scenario. Hope I passed. I wonder if there may just be a flamethrower in this scenario?? [ June 25, 2003, 09:53 AM: Message edited by: Dave H ]

Sorry Axe, I forgot to post this earlier. Congratulations to Axe for a thorough demolition of my Hungarian probe by his Romanians. After 29 turns of our 25+ turn game, he had earned a 70-30 Tactical Victory!! :eek: It seemed to be connected to his destruction of my Hetzer which was sitting next to the 300 point VL. My poor Hetzer crew was shocked at the very beginning of our battle and survived another 25 or so turns of constant combat. It destroyed Axe's entire armored force (what was that French tank again?). Unfortunately I could never get my infantry past his to support the Hetzer, which was reduced to a few AP shells, and it finally took a panzerfaust in the worst place. Obviously I haven't figured out how to conduct probes. I've now managed to lose by 80-20 to Keke and 70-30 to Axe. So all you experts , let's hear some of the secrets of successfully conducting a probe and surviving. Again, congratulations Axe. Tough and fun battle.

Okay Teddy, since everyone seems determined to let us know what we're facing, here is my German order of battle so far in Cheery Waffle: 12 Platoons drumming 11 Panthers piping 10 Lynx a leaping 9 Brummbars dancing 8 Wespe a milking 7 Shrecks a swimming 6 StuGs a laying 5 Eighty-eights 4 Flamethrowers 3 French tanks 2 Tiger doves, and an FO in a pear tree! Is this about what you've got? Oh, I finished Harry Potter. I liked it.

I realize trying to reason with people from Canada and Alaska is like trying to explain something to particularly dense walruses, but here goes anyway: Would you guys PLEASE quit posting information about the Cheery Waffle scenario here? Pretty please? With sugar on top? Anybody who hasn't tried it yet will have it spoiled if you keep talking about it. I've already seen units mentioned here which I haven't seen yet, and they're my units!! Teddy and I are trying to keep our units hidden, which doesn't really help much if we can read the unit mix here in this thread. If you have to talk about your exploits, how about starting a thread in the scenario forum. Please???

I suspect Teddy has seen the opening scenes of the classic John Goodman movie "King Ralph" and purposely avoids family gatherings. He's waiting for lightning to strike, as it were. I wonder if he used the same contractor as Dick Cheney to provide his "undisclosed secret location". Anyone know for how long Prinz Eugen was called up? I figured it would be a weekend or something, but he's been gone a long time. He's probably lost somewhere in Lapland, living off reindeer meat and longing for the warmth of some molten TNT. Paddington also seems to have disappeared for good. Our first game was lost in the conversion to 1.03, and the set-up I sent to him afterwards hasn't drawn any kind of response. So Paddington, if you're out there somewhere, our game is a non-starter. GRRRR!!! :mad: Keke, are you thinning the herd of uber-Finns? Suddenly you seem to be the only one left in Cheery Waffle Land. Were you concerned that one of these guys would actually lose a PBEM and shatter the aura of Finn invincibility? :eek: Crow, good to hear from you again. Sorry to bring up a subject that hits uncomfortably close to work for you.

I'm insanely jealous. Our local politics in Jeffersonville has the same kind of "colorful" characters. For example, our current mayor campaigned for office accompanied by his wife of 20 years or so. After he was elected, it came to light that they had divorced years before and neither had bothered to mention that fact. As mayor he quickly proceeded to marry the city attorney, tripling the family's income from the city. Soon afterwards, he was sued by his former wife and children. Seems the family had joint ownership of a construction company. He sold the business without informing them, and without splitting the proceeds with them. I believe they settled out of court. He had a reputation for asking city council members to leave their meetings to meet him in the parking lot out back. One city council member in particular so irritated the mayor that he made a threat about using an AK-47 on him. Fortunately things never came to that. Sadly, for some reason the mayor was defeated in the primary earlier this year. Afterwards on television he basically bawled out the city residents for not reelecting him, and said now he could make some real money. Earth to mike_the_wino: I don't owe you a turn because we are not playing right now. Remember - you won Car Wars 95-5 in a demonstration of the uselessness of armored cars and machine gun-armed halftracks versus tanks. It was the pinnacle of your gaminess. Well, so far anyway. Teddy, I won't give away the ending of the book. I'll allow you to read every single page for yourself. It's obvious that you are enjoying it. Have a good time at William's birthday bash?

Hi fellow waffleheads (you maggots!). Just wanted to briefly report to you illiterates that I am currently up to page 527 of the new Harry Potter novel. Only about 350 pages left! Obviously JK Rowling has quit writing the Potter novels for children. This one has very much in it about the misuse of power by government agencies and by media. Not to mention her continued emphasis on her earlier theme of prejudice. So if I have owed you a turn for a couple of days, please accept my humble apologies. On the other hand, if you owe me a turn, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, YOU MAGGOT?? :mad: :mad: :mad: Don't you have any consideration for the other guy? What's going on in that vaccuum between your ears? Is anybody home there? GRRRR!!! :mad: :mad:

You two had better be careful. Keep up this kind of behavior and you may actually finish your game sometime. Maybe then you and MasterGoodale (the maggot) could start into one of your operations. Say the 22,000 pointer, for instance. That should keep both of you safely occupied for the rest of your lives. I checked the sky for you. There was nothing out of the ordinary except these four peculiar guys on horseback. They asked me for directions to New Hampshire. I'm not going to draw any conclusions from that.

You guys are pathetic. Everyone knows the uniform guru around this here forum is that mighty fine Canadian Michael Dorosh. Anybody who owns a uniformed life sized mannequin and collectible dolls really has a uniform fetish. Now if you're looking for an expert on drunken scenario building, then Soddball is your man. Congratulations to mike_the_wino for his total victory in "Car Wars" to the tune of 95-5 . For some reason my halftracks, scout cars, and armored cars had trouble contending with his platoon of Lynx and his platoon of Pz III, not to mention his assortment of AA vehicles. Even so, having 65 men captured is kind of a kick in the head. Any suggestions on good scenarios I can play against Keke and UXcva_? Both are awaiting rematches. I'd like something completely one-sided so I have a chance! Maybe a battalion of German elite paratroopers vs a squad of conscript partisans or something similar. MasterGoodale has sent his turn for the month of June, so I can forget that battle for a while. He is currently using his surviving M-17 to chase crews from KO'd halftracks. His infantry is shooting fleeing mortar crews. He smells an easy massive victory. He is delusional. His horde of Russians and my Germans will soon be re-enacting Rourke's Drift, using live ammunition. Naturally his troops will be appearing as the Zulu. [ June 20, 2003, 10:10 AM: Message edited by: Dave H ]

I guess Prinz Eugen didn't make it to New Hampshire. GRRRR!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: WallyBob has set up a meeting engagement for our rematch. It appears that my Russian infantry will be meeting his gamey Tigers. :eek: Which would be nice if there wasn't so much open ground on our battlefield. Obviously Wallybob has learned from the Sultan of Gaminess, mike_the_wino (the maggot), about force selections. The whiner's Pz IIIs are now bearing down on my 20 or so crews who are running for the edge of the world. Amazingly the AI hasn't autosurrendered my single surviving Conscript scout car. My side of the battlefield looks like a scrap yard. UXcva_ has eliminated all of my armor with his herd of assault guns. My SU-100s and KV-85s may have scratched some of his paint with near misses, but that's about it. His infantry is content to sit back and let the assault guns blast away at my surviving infantry, which is hanging on to defend the wheatfields. My Hungarians and Axe's Romanians seem near an impasse. Both sides are about out of ammunition. I congratulated Axe on the bravery of one of his machine guns, which almost single handedly stopped a platoon on my left. Axe, ever the gentleman , informed me that I had quickly killed 5 of the 6 men in the MG crew, preventing the survivor from running away. Instead he kept up a solid wall of fire decimating my platoon. That deserves a GRRRRR!!! :mad: The suave Teddy Windsor and I are progressing slowly in Cheery Waffle. His busy life as a secret agent prevents a rapid exchange of turns. So far both of us seem to have all of our guns hidden waiting for the other guy to make a run for it over open ground. We've both had some infantry shot up by concealed guns, and that's been it. Don't get mad at us, Soddball, I know you envisioned a titanic slugfest beginning on Turn 1. We're just going a little slower than that.