Dave H

Since nobody else has anything to say, I'll give a quick update on the inaugural BDLRM contest: Mike_the_wino-nugget complained on Turn 1 that the map was gamey, so he's definitely at the top of his game. He picked his own Soviets. MasterGoodale, the fury maggot, is 13 turns in and is mopping up my Germans with his heavily shielded T-34s. Due to the lack of German targets, they are systematically destroying every house on the map. His infantry isn't doing quite so well. Becket selected MG's Soviets, which explains his lack of true uber-armor. Teddy Windsor, the agent for good, is 9 turns in. His Soviet armor is destroying everything in its path, much like a flash flood, only with more explosions. Our battle is so one-sided he has already apologized. Teddy selected his own Soviets, which appears to be a good decision. Mike from Down Under (does that include New Zealand?) is 5 turns in. He has already told me he is conserving his men for a gamey last-turn flag rush. Since he decided to begin with a massive barrage of rockets on Turn 1, he may only find empty, messy holes on Turn 20. Mike also picked his own Soviets. :mad: GrumpyBear from Los Angeles, of all places, is 2 turns in. So far I've spotted an armored car. Listen to the disdain in his e-mail for Turn 1, and you will see that he is a natural Cheery Waffler: Like I said, a natural. Oh, Axe selected GrumpyBear's Soviets (that sounds oddly appropriate somehow) Last, but not least, I'm trying to get the Soviet password to THumpre. He's also using Axe's Soviet units. Axe, the marrying maggot, seemed to be too preoccupied for some reason to send it. If anyone else is interested, I'm finding my turns only take a minute or two as defender, so I could accept other participants. Remember, the goal isn't merely to beat me, but to beat me worse than anyone else does.

Well, thanks a lot Jim Boggs, you maggot! You've gone and blown my cover! Now what am I supposed to do? Go back to the General Forum and post as one of my alter egos? Today will I be Sgt Beavis, william amos, or Gaylord Fokker? Decisions, decisions.

NO!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: We will accept all of these descriptors about you: Wino...of course Whiner...always Weiner...definitely Gamey...naturally Nugget...sadly Grape Stomper...surely Squire...reluctantly Maggot...certainly But NOT winner! A thousand times no! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Then there are those who think sentiment is something you pave your driveway with. </font>

Jim, this is a perfect example. Leave 'em laughing.

And this is the guy they put in charge of proofreading CMAK stuff!! Gamey flamethrow THAT, Axe! :mad: </font>

Becket, Becket, Becket, did you not notice the 120 mm mortar FOs targeting your 50 mm and 20 mm guns? Their life expectancy was measured in seconds. My T-34s were hoping your infantry would come back down the hill for a whiff of cannister. Most of all, yes, you had knocked out my three 45 mm AT guns, but my 76 mm was still poised directly above your two remaining StuGs, ready to punch large holes through the tops. On the other hand, my conscripts weren't about to try advancing on your elite and crack troops. Our foxholes and trenches were far too safe and comfy to leave.

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it! What are you griping about? Springtime is coming for you! He's probably gathering candles for Finland's six months of darkness which will be starting in a few days. Either that or Keke has shot him and mounted his head on a wall as a trophy. Maybe that's also where MasterGoodale (the maggot) has gone. I think Keke has it in him to whack them both. Badda-bing! Hey, exactly where did that picture of the station wagon come from? :eek: BDLRM update: Mike, Teddy Widsor, and MasterGoodale are off and running with three completely different and futile plans. Mike_the_nugget-wino, THumpre, and GrumpyBear are setting up their Soviet assaults. Since I mainly press GO for the defense, there's room for more to participate. You have to ask yourself, "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do you, punk?

Sounds to me like you're ready to graduate to playing against another person instead of the AI. Is there a particular reason why you're only interested in jazzing up the attacking AI instead of playing someone else? Once you try it, there's no going back.

Wino, or Nugget, or Nug, or is it Keanu, which unfortunate gets to display this sig line? Or is it a sig line you plan to lock away and save to pull out in the unlikely event you win a game sometime? Did anybody else think the title of the new Peng thread was about the light inside a refrigerator? :confused: :confused:

This guy is getting married in FOUR DAYS and you want to start a new game? I'm sure his wedding guests and family and bride won't mind if he ducks out periodically to check his e-mail. Wait until Sunday, after all the excitement. Then he can spend hours and hours on the computer without all of the interruptions. Besides, he and I have a game to finish! Jason, everything Saturday will be great. You and Paula know that you love each other by now. That's really the only thing that matters. All the rest is a show for your family and friends to enjoy. I wish Becky and I could make it. Congratulations again to both of you. :cool:

Everyone see YK2's rules for the latest version of the Peng thread? Now they are sending all the "unwelcome" visitors to what is referred to as the "Other Thread", where YK2 says we will welcome them with TNT. I think that's a wonderful idea. Nothing like free advertising courtesy of the "competition". Thank you, YK2.

Prinz, please don't use that term in here. It gives me the creeps, which I don't need with the flu. It's been overused to the point of becoming inane. Besides, I think using it may be a copyright violation or something. Don't get the Peng lawyers after us again. Let this expression stay where it belongs, which is far outside the Cheery Waffle/Goodale/Maggot threads. Thank you. :mad: :mad: :mad:

Axe, I have one question for you? How many swordfights did you see in "The Godfather"? I realize your almost father-in-law is Italian, not Sicilian, but don't let that minor technicality fool you. Over the years an awful lot of Scot warriors lost their lives by taking swords to gunfights. Don't join them. :eek:

Sorry Teddy, I'm not myself. I seem to have come down with a nasty case of something which has my throat feeling scalded, my head feeling like a particularly overstuffed pillow, and my nose dripping every minute or two. Other than that, I feel pretty lousy all over. So I was a bit abrupt last night, especially since Axe had indeed sent a turn. I've received two more inquiries about my BDLRM tourney. So far this has been very interesting, seeing the different forces chosen and the varying avenues of the attacks. I should do a dissertation, accompanied by 8" by 10" color glossies with circles and arrows and notes on the back of each each one telling what it is (thank you, Arlo Guthrie, for the timeless "Alice's Restaurant").

Be my guest! I always like your map and force selection.</font>

You're on...but I think some industrious soul should start up a Serious Loser Tourney for all of us unfortunates. It would have to be invitational of course, perhaps the participants would have to be sponsored in? I know i could find enough people to attest to my incompetence... </font>

Worst Commander Ever? I surrendered a PBEM to MasterGoodale! It wasn't only because his turns came at the pace of Chinese water torture, but because he was likely to win, too. I think that puts me in pretty elite company. :eek: :eek: :mad: :mad: Any of the rest of you Worst Commanders open for a PBEM? Send me an e-mail; I've got just the thing.

Mister Nugget, if you can tear yourself away from your breaded and deep-fried relatives, how about selecting your Soviets and sending me a turn? Or are you too busy looking for more cases of wine that may "fall off the truck" for your Peng-uin friends. Do you get to wear a tux and waddle around now, like Danny Devito in one of the Batman movies? Or are you more of a Burgess Merideth kind of Peng-uin?

Isn't that where all good warriors go when they die? </font>

You guys have left out mike_the_gamey, which should be branded on his forehead! Sure he drinks a bit and dabbles in the wine business. If his blood was tested, his gamey content would register far higher than his alcohol content. That's even true when he's passed out. Mike knows gamey. He sent seanachai 12 bottles of wine and I'm concerned that seanachai may end up adopting him. Talk about taking advantage of the weakest link in the Peng thread. Well done, mike!!

Paging Mr. Wino, paging Mr. Wino!! Did you ask to be taken into the Peng Thread, or did a press gang of Pengites grab you as an ever-flowing source of free wine? Good grief!! So now you are Mike_the_Squire instead of mike_the_wino? Have you told all of your new wine-drinking friends about your alter ego, the original Mike the wino? Remember that we were there with you, helping you advance beyond that nasty split personality thing. Not that it has done you any good. Mike_the_Squire, I'm anxious for you to start the BDLRM scenario. So far in three games there have been three completely different Russian starts. I imagine you will come up with a fourth. Get Axe moving on that setup.

Point of Order, Mr. Chairman. Point of Order. :mad: :mad: There's no such thing as an "Indianan". We are proudly known to all as Hoosiers, and residents of 49 other states, all foreign nations, and the known universe wish they could be Hoosiers too. At least they may have watched the movie "Hoosiers".

Doesn't that sentiment just get you right there? Jim, there's not a dry eye in the house. Well done!

Well of course it is. Everybody knows that. Jim, you make an excellent point about sympathy for Paula. However, I'm assuming she is an adult, although Axe has been very fuzzy on that particular subject. He says she has actually read some of the Cheery Waffle thread. If she hasn't run for cover by this time, I have to believe she actually wants to marry this guy. So no, there will be no sympathy for Paula. Oh, and mike_the_wino, go take a few more laps in the fermenting tanks. You're still almost coherent. In your own peculiar way. :mad: