Stuka

So when I met with King Obama last week he was of course only too keen to cede the USA to Australia (under my leadership of course). King 'O' (he likes to be called that) was very insistant that the stars and stripes be changed to an image of my goodself with a redstripe beer in hand. I politely refused and have permitted 'old glory' to remain as is, given the fact that the majority of my new subjects are easily confused and would suffer migrains trying to cope with a change of flag. In a similar vein of keeping the population ignorantly blissful I have also maintained the acronym 'USA' although it now stands for 'Unlimited Stukey Awesomeness'. Given that most 'merkins didn't know what the original USA stood for anyway, I figured the effects of changing the name would be minimal. I will keep King 'O' as a figurehead of my new administration bust rest assured it is your Old Unca Stukey pulling the strings. So, a few initial policies: (e-6#) All prisons will be opened and the criminals relocated to Utah. I figure the punishment ought to fit the crime and also the expected rise in criminal suicide will save cost on executions. (!!i) All mental asylums will be opened and the patients relocated to Ohio. No-one will notice anything different. (print screen) Australian english will replace 'merkin english in all schools. (A hot dog is spelled 'H-O-T D-O-G', there are no 'W's or 'R's in dog. Pronouncing 'dorwg' will be punishable by either death or transportation to Utah at the discretion of the accused) Thats it for now, let me be the first to welcome aboard all 310 million new little Aussies! I'm sure you'll find me to be a fair but firm leader and your lives will be enrichened by knowing you are more or less safe under my administration. Any complaints will be filed in the appropriate circular filing cabinet. Hugs President Stuka

A concept with which you are yet to become familiar.

Does it? Perhaps you need to explain, Mr Faux-Clapton, rock polishing, cat fondler.

Oh thats not Nidan1 and myself, thats a shot of 2 Chippendales models I googled. But yeah, I agree that Emrys is jealous and would give his 11th finger for a freind, seeing as even his imaginary freinds disown him.

Bold me, dammitt!! BOLD me you pagan!!

At the end of my right wrist, where's yours monkey boy?

Oh please, who has their big, greasy paw on who there huh Sparky?

I was bribed with Red Stripe Lager so I let Nidan1 hug me, it was the least I could do to thank him for my most royal reception in East Yaphank. Not that he deserved it of course.

A nice sunny day in the big Apple, just jim dandy for a day at the ball park. Glad none of you are here save for nidan1 who is on the train to my hotel as we speak. Sux to be you.

and so he should...I like kid's but I could never eat a whole one.

Me too, I just had a burrito from hell.

Emrys just got owned! Feel the buuurn!

I like Manhattan, it pleases us. I will make it my house.

I must say that one good thing about NYC is that I can buy beer just about anywhere...I bought a 6 pack in a freak'in pharmacy this morning! I've always thought beer was for medicinal purposes but that was validation!

The last I saw of your troops they were counterattacking to the rear. Claim all you want Sparky, my FO's from hell have sown death, destruction and soiled undergarments throughout your miserable forces...not to mention 'the little Stug that could' who has 3 M10's to his credit thus far... I am savouring the last file from you until I return from these wretched shores and can bask in the glory of your humiliating defeat at my leisure.

Give them all a souvenir ear of corn for their troubles though.

We walked through lower Manhattan today, I think I saw Emrys in the Meat Packer area. He was wearing tight, black leather shorts with suspenders that had rows of 4 inch chrome spikes poking out of them, bare chested but with shiny nipple covers which may have been pinned on (I didn't look too closely) You're quite the extrovert aren't you Michael?

Since I am King of the USA now I will save the thread from the bottom of page 1.

How dare you speak to me directly!! I'm jet-lagged, dehydrated and drinking a 6pack of Sapporo, I am not to be taken lightly!

New York calling...New York calling..."The Stuka has landed...The Stuka has landed"...ende.

Yeah, literally! Well thats one way to keep it warm I suppose.

In Ohio the cornfields have been stripped overnight and the NASDAC index for corn futures is through the roof.

SOD OFF, Eric Gambelwank!

See? This is why 'murka needs a strong leader! I'll have such silliness sorted by Sunday, you wait and see.

Looks like Boo and Hiram were both schooled at the University of Pissweak taunts...wake me when you're finished boys...zzzzzzzzzzzz