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Stuka

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Posts posted by Stuka

    PENG CHALLENGES a Thread ...

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    Well done Squire Leeo, *sniff*, youv'e done this old knigget proud. And not before time too, as I've been 'hanging on' since your stoush with David of Aitken commenced.

    Now hold the skull steady lad...

    *Ziiiiiiiiiip*

    Thudd!.......Smash!

    Oh dear, I seem to have crushed the Neanderthal-like skull with my Uber-appendage. Tisk, tisk. Fetch me another squire! I can't hold on for ever!

    Oh bugger it, wheres Harpooner?, he has large pockets, I do believe I may relieve myself in one while he is engrossed in some heavy duty nasal excavation.

    No Hardstooler, don't let me interrupt you, I'm standing here next to you in a brotherly, bonding fashion...please continue.

    *Arrrrrrrrrh* smile.gif

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    PENG CHALLENGES a Thread ...

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DekeFentle:

    In addition notify your pathetic, piss-ant kinniget that after crushing you a second time, he will be expected to redeem the honor of his house by besting me in a scenario of my choosing.

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Don't let me down Leeo, I have better things to do than waste time eviscerating your playfriends.

    (like polishing my armour, taking the knigget washing to the knigget laundry, washing the knigget hair, etc, etc)

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    PENG CHALLENGES a Thread ...

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

    )Andreas (who is secretely feared by Stuka): <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Secretley feared? Oh contraire mon Scandanavian Elk fondler! I would not wish to come between the love felt between a syphylitic turd such as yourself , and his Nipponese butt slave.

    Do carry on, but get a room. ( There are yougsters present)

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    PENG CHALLENGES a Thread ...

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    NOW! Not that any of you deserve it, but here is a game update.

    OGSF 1 Hint here for those considering it. Do NOT, ever, start a 5000 pt armour only battle on a large map. Not only is every target unidentified, it takes bloody ages to crawl from one end of the map to the other.

    OGSF 2 A good game is 2000 pt armour only in fog on a small map, much more intimate and the destruction of 20+ tanks in the first 5 turns lends itself well to those who indulge in the BOOM! factor. By the way, I'm up by a couple of tanks after

    OGSF forgot how to shoot.

    OGSF 3 I must stop playing this lad so often (people will begin to talk), A downright, ho-down punch up to the last has me holding a small town while his jagdtiger sniffs plaintively at the front door, too scared to commit it, too hungry to let it go. the fate of my doughboys hangs precariously on an M8, a couple 'zooks, and the M10 from hell, so far with 3 Panthers to its credit.

    Bauhaus, is staring down the barrel of ignomious defeat. Uber tactics, Uber reserves and Uber cunning have his green clad corpses holed up in 2 VLs, nervously awaiting the imminent toll of their destruction.

    Mace Has suferred huge losses in getting his SS bullyboys to within handbag swinging reach of my champion Paras. Alas, all the Armour that came with them is gonna give me just a tad more than a headache, I'd reckon.

    Meeks, is reeling back in the attack, as each wave of his Paras ( who all bear an uncanny resemblence to my goodself) is beaten to a pulp, and then rogered by the necrophiliac teams for good measure.

    PeterNZ, has a defense wilting under the genuis of a co-ordinated attack. Smoke, arty, SMG squads and light armour are doing a dandy job of poking his lads in the eye with sharp things and calling them 'Susan'.

    HardStooler, prepare to be smite, m'lad. the luverly Berli has been thoughful enough to supply me with arty of an infinite nature, while your poofy French arty will merely rain flowers and small lacey things upon my furrowed brow. In short, you are screwed. Surrender now.

    German Boy, play will continue after a 10 day absense to move himself into new digs.

    Finally Mensch, where his own scenario has turned to bite him on the bum. My Brits push forward while his promised 'divisional reinforcements' are not to be seen. battle 4 of 4 and still nothing? Methinks old menschy forgot to push some buttons whilst designing this puppy.

    Its great to be me.

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    How The Peng Challenge Was Won And Where It Got Us

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    On a brighter note, aren't the new colours more relaxing?

    The white was just so...bland...a bit like Seanaeichmaneooueveririst's humour, just what does "smugly defensive" mean anyway?

    This khaki, it reminds me of something much more traditional, more staid, more 'old school'. I know! It's Seanies underwear draw!

    Muuahahahahaaaaaaa.........

    Bien supa bien supa thingy bien supa supa thingy bein supa thingy thingy thingy....

    (all copyright royalties are to be forwarded to the estate of Chuppy)

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    How The Peng Challenge Was Won And Where It Got Us

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

    Sorrry to be the one to point out your obvious mistake, but...

    Knights make their own rules, so lance away[/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Ooooroighty then!

    So be it!

    The newbie, non 'pooler, radish fondler, Harpoontanger shall be gang bashed by Knigget and Squire alike!

    Berli, a map of your utmost evil if you would be so kind, Sir.

    The vineyard one I started with Squirmingirl should do nicely. We only got to turn 2 before Andreas ran screaming from the battlefield, tiara askew and mascara running, crying "gamey" "gamey" as he broke a heel in his flight and the tears flowed.

    And should the hippy cousin of Meeks fall beneath the sword of Stuka/Leeo, I propose he be banished to a place of eternal torment, like Seanichi's sock drawer.

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    How The Peng Challenge Was Won And Where It Got Us

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    HardSpooner old sausage, you are indeed fortunate that in these days of enlightenment, in these days of the New 'Pool, in these days of sensitive new-age guyness , that a Kniggett of the "Old 'pool", may not ride out upon the heath atop his mighty squire and run you through with his lance like the perforated abcess that you are.

    I am tempted sorely to crush you like a teenage pimple on prom night, but alas, tradition dictates that you must bitch fight a lesser mortal than I.

    I have a squire who is proving adequate in both battle and taunt, and should it please me to see Leeo dance on your cremated ashes after he has disposed of David of Aitken, I will ask of the round table of the 'pool for a map and forces to whit your utter humiliation at the hands of the erstwhile Leeo will behold.

    Now Sod Off, you annoying adolescent.

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    How The Peng Challenge Was Won And Where It Got Us

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    Don't you get it people?

    There is no harpooner.

    Its just Meeks. Little,teeny,tiny befuddled old Meeks. Pretending to be someone else pretending to be a friend of Meeks. Sad isn't it?

    The real Meeks is the one in the tartan hotpants and leather muscle shirt, who pretended to go to the North pole to find love with a polar bear. Sure he found love but it wasn't the dreamy eyed, hold me close in the morning kind of love that he was seeking. No siree, it was all hard, fast, savage love with lots of knashing teeth, tufts of white fur and a bear like grip on Meek's shoulders.

    After the stitches had healed 'Hamsters came along. Again this was just Meeks in a hamster costume, the same one he was made to wear during his stay at the state correctional institution. Even the hole the inmates made in the seat of the costume is still there.

    Now there is Hardspooner and no prizes for guessing that its our old heterophobe, Meeks again. This time he's dropped the hamster suit and its mommy's underwear he's donned while feverously pounding away at himself in front of the keyboard. You have to admire the lad. The fact that mommy is still wearing the duds at the same time fazes him not a jot.

    She even helps him by holding the dictionary so he can get the big words right.

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