Stuka
-
Posts
4,997 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Stuka
-
-
Its just not like the good old days is it Joe?
When a knigget could beat his squire to death in front of his family and the squire would be happy...proud even to know that he had been of some small servive to his betters.
-
The best way Mace can serve the people of Victoria is to stay at home!
-
Sir Lizard, thank you for your observations concerning my erstwhile squire, the ever fawning, bucket waving, Leeo.
It would appear that I am just too much of a damned nice Knigget and have overlooked these communist leanings of the spotty git.
*Sigh*
You pay good, hard {Sit down......} cash for a whelp of a serf, you bring him close to your bosom and let him pay for the beers while whispering uber secret 88mm penetration data and the value of HMG teams running, and this is the thanks I get?
I applaud you Sir Liz, for the advice and hereby proclaim to have a firmer fist {I said Sit!...} with the help.
My own fault really, the class barriers are there for a reason and there is no benefit in trying to drag an UnterSerf up from the mire.
Try as you might, you just can't put a shine on a turd.
-
Pardon me GermySperm, excuse me for a moment, pardona moi seevue pley, entschuldigen Sie!
You are waiting for a turn from.....moi?
*cough, cough, hack, spit*
I cough at thee, I hack at thee, I spit at thee.
Your scurvionous file has been despatched with all speed by carrier pidgeon post haste. It is hardly my fault that the poor bird has contracted claw and beak disease and fallen foul of a Yorkshireman's pastry pie.
Check your nesting box oh dashing Cavalier, for a new rendition of topplement.
-
Originally posted by Goanna:
Most of you bastards in the US seem to snatch up all the decent ones early.
QUOTE]
Not I oh lizard of Oz, I've scored me a real good 'un.
Squire LeeO will serve me well throughout my daily oblutions and if not.......well, only Berli may help him from the pit of despair into which he will descend.
*So sayeth Lord Stuka, patron saint of huge 'thingeys'*
-
Oh, just go away you annoying adolescent!
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
-
Kevin mcOberbastarrrd, stop chasing MKIV like a schoolboy on heat and send me some files dammit!
I'm off to mow my castle grounds now and I'll be back in an hour, so hop to it you grenulious budgie plucker.
-
Originally posted by Leeo:
There, sir Stuka! Is that a bit more belligerent?
Yes, lad. A raw, prepubescent embryonic taunt that appears to have the necessary dangle berrys to mature into some more fully fledged taunting. Keep working on your style. But don't forget that variety is the sweet elixer that keeps interest in our little folk group from waning.
I note that David of Aitken has engaged you in a little friendly stoush. As your leige I command that you bring me his head, that you may hollow out the crap from within and furnish me with a practical, albeit exceedingly ugly new piss bucket.
If you have have any queries on the finer points of battle, you need only turn to your Knigget for instruction. (Thats why I get paid the big bucks.)
-
Originally posted by Leeo:
Oh, my fair Dame Kitty, I apologize profusely! It must have been the ammonia fumes, and the thought of a lady of the court and all, well, I'll just knock myself in the head. Really. My unmitigated gall! Imagine, a poor professional pissboy like me, presuming to hold a bucket to your...(dead faint to collapse upon the ground)
Stop apologising dammitt!!!!
*SLAP!!*
How many times do I have to tell you. That bucket is for the exclusive use of my goodself (and sometimes Moriarty, but only if he asks nice)....Got it? Good!
(I'm beginning to think Lord Lorak ripped me off at the serf auction.)
-
Oh and Kitty,
for the meaning of Woot!.......Do a search! Muahhaahaaaaaaaaaa!
-
Originally posted by Leeo:
(sorry, Elvis. He deserved it)
Roight LeeO, first squirely lesson:
Never, under any circumstances apologise for anything in the 'pool. Even if you are wrong, or especially if you are wrong. There'll be none of that limp wristed fanny kissing by a squire of mine.
Fanny kissing is Hiram's job.
-
Originally posted by Germanboy:
no gameyness
That would be no gameyness such as that displayed by your Armoured car which, on the first turn of our battle, charges at full speed roight through my town to my end of the map?
Surely not in an attempt to intercept any reinforcements I may be receiving? Hmmm?
-
Originally posted by Leeo:
I am unsure if Peng tastes gamey, but I can certainly attest to the fact that his golden effluence certainly smells gamey. Ah, but such is the burden of my station, and it beats the hell out of pulling a plow.
Woah, woah woah, there little squire!
I paid good money for you and as such I own both you and your piss bucket. 3 crown, 2 schilling, tuppence ha'penny if I recall correctly.
Under the terms of your servitude to myself as your Leige you have no rights whatsoever, that piss bucket is for my personal use only.
I entrust to you my old coconut shells, clap them together with pride young squire. Keep my armour shiney, my plate full and my bladder empty and I will instruct you well in the art of war.
And if that Knigget Croda comes sniffing around tempting you with shiney baubles, gouge out his eyes with this here dagger and pour salt in the empty sockets.
Mount up! We ride!....CLIP..CLOP..CLIP..CLOP
-
Originally posted by Leeo:
I take pride in my work, and should some kinniget choose to employ me at some point, I will treat said kinniget with respect and honor.
[scene setting]
*A small wire cage is set atop a stage in the center of the courtyard of Castle Peng. Kniggets are gathered around, studying the wild eyed, frightened serfs contained within.*
*Lord Lorak bellows from a corner of the stage*
"Gentle knights of the 'pool, you see before you the fine specimens of serfdom 'liberated' from their villages during my last holy water and tupperware party, what am I bid for such handsome flesh?"
Knigget David Aitken: "Tuppence for the lot!"
*The gathered knights roar with mirth*
Lord Lorak: "Come now gentlemen, surely such specimens are worthy of at least a fiver each?"
Knigget Mace: "that one, there....the one with the twitch, he stirs me within and appears firm of buttock. Spin for me boy, and tell me your name."
Serf Armournut: *Limps around in a circle* "They call me armournutcschh......hur, hur, *dribble*
Knigget Mace: "I'll take him!...err I mean, I'll purchase him. Lorak, put him on my account."
Lord Lorak: "Done! Now what of these others my fine Knighted friends? Ignore the smell, most of them will scrub up just peachy. Except for Check6 but I may keep him for marketing purposes anyway."
*Knigget jd pauses from a murmured discussion with Knigget Croda*
"Two pounds deposit on the serf 'Lawyer', he looks to have the makings of a fine used-car sales squire!"
Serf Lawyer: *Foams at the mouth and snaps at the wire, biting off his bottom lip in the process*
Knigget Croda: "Ahhh, the excellent makings of a car salesman indeed. We'll take him!"
*grins smugly at jd, who is rubbing his hands together feverishly*
Lord Lorak:"Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Don't walk away! These are premium specimens and cannot last long at these prices. Look! heres a red light special on a lively one I call 'Roborat". Make me an offer."
Knigget Meeks: "He's dead you git. Look, he's green and there are things crawling out of his eyes."
Lord Lorak: "No no no my friends, thats his natural state, its considered very healthy in his clan for the finest of young men to be covered in flies. See how his brother 'Wildman' fossicks around in his trousers?.....oh!..umm...errr....well, never mind, thats a custom in their family"
*Knigget Bauhaus begins to show interest in the Wildman/Roborat twin pack as the Knigget Stuka steps forward from the gathered throng*
Knigget Stuka:"what of this one!"
*Points at serf LeeO*
Lord Lorak: "Ahh, you have a fine eye for quality, brave Sir Knigget, this one is my personal favourite. He will serve you well in battle. A full set of teeth, bright of eye and sturdy of fetlock, a handsome addition to any Knigget's stable"
*serf Leeo begins purring and rubbing himself against the wire in a submissive and grovelly nature*
Knigget Stuka: "This serf revolts me, Lord Lorak. I'll offer no more than 3 crown, 2 schilling tuppence ha'penny for such a wretch."
*Lord Lorak writhes with despair, but as the Knigget gathering has dispersed, is confronted with only one option*
Lord Lorak:*hissing through clenched teeth*
"You rob me sir...take this LeeO curr out of my sight and if our paths should ever cross, pray you should have your sword drawn."
*Lord Lorak departs for his keep, dragging the body of Roborat behind him as Knigget Stuka turns to his new purchase...*
Knigget Stuka: "Roight LeeO, lets get on the piss.....its your shout!"
[This message has been edited by Stuka (edited 03-22-2001).]
-
UGH! Its getting gross in here!
All these bootlicking, fawning Serfs are getting the floor all sticky.
Grovelling and cavorting in an attempt to catch the eye of a knigget....disgusting.
It wasn't like that in my day, noo sireee. When I was a squire I had pride, pride I tell you!
I merrily hopped around, banging the obligatory coconut shells together for the pleasure of my knight and I was proud.
Bah! Kids these days....mutter.....mutter.
-
Originally posted by jd:
His squads (British paras) refused to budge, no wonder they held Arnheim so long...
3 cheers for British Paras!..Hip Ray! Hip Ray! Hip Ray!
Top blokes each and every one of them.
Curiously handsome too I might add.
-
Don't acknowledge the trolls Leeo, it only encourages them.
-
The sound of "Ignore"...Don't you all just love it?
-
Originally posted by David Aitken:
Yarda yarda, blababdy bab
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Good night.
0.5 out of 10 for effort, David. Please try harder next time.
-
Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
So what do each of you (no damned Newbies either, Knights or Squires only) think of the rest of us?
Bunch of Bum sniffers!
-
Originally posted by Germanboy:
Stuka will have his impending doom sent to him soon. Berli has made a nice map and given me the Germans, so that I can go and seize those wine yards.
I hope I'm Brit Paras.
GO EARS!
-
The just about does it, race fans.
The AI is hereby proclaimed to be a hamster sucking, gamey rat bastage in the pay of Peng and his ilk.
My game with peng has just ended with my goodself holding 3 of the 4 VLs and the 4th one in doubt and yet the Mook still manages to eek out a draw. Feh! and Poot!
AAR
Me:Score 52
Casualties 110 KIA 29
6 Vehicles knocked out
Men OK 110
Peng Of Pod: Score 44
Casualties 114 KIA 23
5 Vehicles clobbered
3 Mortars knackered
men OK 52
I tell ya folks, its a damned evil conspiracy.
Lorak if you will do the honours.....
-
Ahh, but you see I have a secret weapon to counter such displays of civil disobedience from the natives.
But of course a gentleman does not 'kiss and tell'
-
Originally posted by Germanboy:
I hope that incessive CMBO playing will have a negative impact on your ability to hold a relationship down and the Missus gets available again. So there.
How close to the mark you are in that regard, Germy old boy.
Mumblings of discontent are being relayed on the tribal drum to my computer room more frequently nowa days. Still, one more game couldn't hurt.
The PENG Challenge Thread Goes To The Dogs
in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)
Posted
Rack off Commie!
The 'pool has always been a heirachy, and guess what? Your'e on the bottom rung where you belong.