chrisl

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng: Still dont have enough of a head on and haven't found the rule book so it may be some time before we get the Double Secret Probation Blood Hamster Exorcism rule worked out... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I think it's rule number 4312.45.*.a.IIV.MCMXXXII: If the originator of the Cesspool shall invite unto it grogly types, without said grogly types having been properly abused, taunted, punched, bent, spindled, and mutilated, then the aforementioned Cesspool creator shall immediately be subjected to instant double secret probation blood hamster exorcism, in which his next game (to include a game already underway) against the namesake of the Pool shall determine his status in the thread. 4312.45.*.a.IIV.MCMXXXII.z Should the said originator and inviter of grogly irritants win such game, then he shall be subjected to merciless abuse and forced to post 3 grogly threads unto the main board. 4312.45.*.a.IIV.MCMXXXII.q Should the said originator and inviter of grogly irritants lose such game, his sig file shall belong to Peng™ until such time as he has completed five (5) games against SSNs, and during which time his name shall not be bolded, italicized, quoted, or otherwise enhanced, and also during which time he shall not be allowed to play against kaniggets of the pool 4312.45.*.a.IIV.MCMXXXII.I Should the game end in a draw, then further double secret probation blood hamster exorcism games shall be played, with scenarios supplied by Rune, or other similarly evil designers, until such time as a victory or loss is determined.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem (whatever it is): I sentence you to the dark streets of Ypsilanti for that one.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> As long as it's near the White Castle.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: An Open Invitation, Originally posted on Winecape's Invitational "Tournament of Stars". Lots of silly drivel suggesting that a bunch of new lackwits ought to infest the thread. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Do you have any idea what this means? Have you noticed the membership of the Winecape invitational? Aside from the esteemed Berli and the less esteemed but at least skilled in the art of CM Shandorf, the invitees include MrSprinklerhead, and that most unwelcome Farté, who decided one day that he would fill up page 31 or something like that of the thread with posts displaying even less mind than a flatworm. Now you've gone and invited him here to fill page after page with <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Farté: My dog let me do the typing today<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I would come to Minnesota and punish you in person, but the mosquitos are pretty vicious this time of year, and it's otherwise unpleasantly cold. And you can keep dalem, whatever it is that he turns out to be. Ann Arbor will be much improved with the cloud of his existence removed. Let that serve as your punishment, at least until such time as is convenient to cause a giant icicle to fall from the eaves and impale you like a little bug pinned to the snow.

Combat Mission is only available on-line, direct from BTS. If you poke around the battlefront board a bit you'll find their manifesto, which explains why they do this. If you haven't downloaded the demo, do so, and then take note that the full game is even better.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: I've been sitting here a while wondering why Chrisl had sent me what looks, for all intent and purposes, to be a Combat Mission Sci-Fi scenario. He included no mesage other than a description, and used his actual Real World name, so there was a short period of quiet contemplation while I cast my mind back and wondered if I'd wandered onto the Outer Boards last night and, blind drunk, agreed to a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 game with some earnest nutter. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'm glad that I managed to thoroughly confuse you for a while. I'll try to do it more often. Worse than you described, I didn't actually send the scenario, just the briefing. I did that because I'm a lazy-ass and didn't feel like loading the briefings into the scenario the normal way. The scenario does, however, require some explanation, so I sent it as that bit of odd briefing. I believe you have somewhat more points worth of stuff (~about 10%), but possibly a slightly harder job than Peng, though some of it depends on when the reinforcements actually show up. If BTS would be so kind as to allow scenarios to have override versions of sounds and textures, then I would have put in a few MST3K mods. Unfortunately they didn't forsee such needs, so you'll have to apply them yourself. I suspect that you already have such mods applied or in a mod folder, so I suggest you install them when playing that scenario.

Juno was intended to be rather unpleasant. The ground wasn't entirely flat-- it did have some contours to it that could provide a spot of cover here and there. I've sent a modified version of Event Horizon to Peng, who will be playing the Germans. Seniletea will be Brits, rather than Canucks, because the Canucks don't have enough diversity of forces for my nefarious purposes. Because this scenario is for Old Ones of the pool, rather than SSNs, It's almost balanced, and I even playtested about halfway through (and made a few minor tweaks). I think it's a bit tougher for the brits than the germs, since against the AI I actually had to pay attention to what I was doing, but it's not a Juno or a Crodaburg. It actually starts out pretty normal, and only turns hideously ugly about halfway through. Here's the revised version of the briefing that both players got: It's some time after D-Day, and the allies have been pushing rapidly across Europe. The Germans are backed up against the Rhein in many places, and are desperate for a few victories. German scientists in the laboratories at Schweinente have developed a secret weapon called the Vortex Machine that could completely turn the tide of the war. It hasn't been field tested, but the full scale tests are only weeks, or even days away. Allied intelligence has figured out that something is going on that could be very bad for the allied war effort, but don't have details on what it does. British forces have been assigned to push as quickly as possible to the town where the labs are located, and take the device. They've pushed all the way up to a tributary of the Rhein, but have yet to establish a bridgehead--a small force has reached the bridge, and all available forces are being sent as quickly as possible for support. (I almost forgot to add: It does have an obscene number of points per side, but the map is small enough that there's never that many alive at one time.) [ 06-30-2001: Message edited by: chrisl ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng: If anyone has a particularly unpleasant thing to play please send it my way so I can beat Seanachai over the head with it. This Challenge aint over boyo. Not by a long shot. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I've whipped up a few vile ones that have driven people (and other sorry creatures) from the pool. I could send you one of those or whip up another. There's Event Horizon, that drove my own squire to madness (well, I think it's meeks taking back his computer that made him mad, but lets pretend it was the scenario for the moment, shall we.) with its bizarre reinforcements. You have to play it to understand the true horror, and I'm afraid to even look at it. There's also Juno, that was custom made for that Canadian Dorosh, and Oleeomargarine, I believe. That might be a good one for you to play, with Sneezy's love of canucks and their funny spelling. I might have to modify it to make it slightly less horrific, but only slightly. It's a historically named scenario, but I didn't bother doing any research for it, other than to verify that it was the correct beach for the canadians to die on. Let me know if you'd like one of those, or a custom horror that would make Rune gouge his own eyes out.

I'm playing a somewhat larger battle against MkIV on a large map in moderate fog (~180 m visibility) and I'm attacking him from behind. He's also doing a fine job of adjusting forces to meet the attack, and has shifted his defense effectively, putting a well organized infantry and armor force in my path. He did at one point mention that attacking from more than three directions at once might qualify as gamey. So far I'm only attacking from three directions. You have to have a fluid defense, or the attack will roll over you-- you start out with fewer points than the attacker, and the attacker gets to choose when and where to apply a force concentration. You have to be able to adjust the defense to provide a defense in depth along any path.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo: harpooner has been awol. We’re in the middle of the Cirque-de-Cess, a.k.a., Event Horizon, by chrisl. I’ve resent, but I’ll try again. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> As mentioned above (and I have also received direct word of confirmation), that scum sucking bit of penguin food Meeks has stolen his computer from my loyal squire Harpooner. For that he shall pay dearly in the electrons and photons of his little luminescent digital men should he ever return to this forum. Young Harpooner is making efforts to get his own computer from whereever it is currently residing, and will send moves when he's been successful. And then I'll bash him with a 2x4 for letting Meeks wrest the machine back from him. You guys haven't even gotten to the good part.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer: Other people may get to see Chrisl soon, as I have his photo and I am not affraid to use it. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Should've finished you off when I had the chance.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: Don't Amurikans call "jelly" what the rest of the universe calls 'jam"?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, you poor aussie, condemned to vegemite as the only thing to put on your bread in the morning. That's some really vile stuff, you know. Germans at least have nutella, and though I don't like it (*way* too sweet, like the pillsbury frosting in a can, and it just isn't right for breakfast) it does still qualify as food. Anyway, since you're accustomed to concentrated yeast extract (whose idea was that stuff?), you can be forgiven a lack of knowledge of the finer points of fruit products that one puts on toast in the morning. Jam often still has the seeds from whatever fruit it used to be (except maybe apricot pits or something) and is pretty much mushed up fruit, with excess sugar added, and usually pectin as well. Jelly is some strange stuff from which anything that might identify it as formerly having been a fruit is removed. It's very homogeneous, and tends to look more artificial. Kind of like extra-fruity jello™, only different. We also have preserves, which are pretty much like jam, and other things with names like "smushed fruit in a jar". Probably the legal distinction is the ratio of fruit to added sweetener (sugar or corn syrup) and other miscellaneous bits like pig lips and eyeballs, allowable ground up fingers from the factory workers, bug parts, etc. In other news, I must note to Lorak that Abbot has defeated me with the copious use of 105 and 155 mm artillery on the attack against a small outpost of defenseless schoolchildren. Elvis keeps throwing more and more troops at my lines, and I keep killing them. One more burning Hellcat this past turn. Foobar should have his eyeballs poked out with a sharp stick and sent to the jelly factory (that's what they use to make the stuff gel). I got recruited into a coop game, with him on the other side, and his side stopped returning files. MarkIV is really going to need a lot of IVs for his troops--most that I can see are running like scalded bunnies, and the rest are bleeding on the ground. Harpooner, (in a practice match-a perfect deal: if I lose since he's my squire, he has to take the loss and I get the win) made a quick move on a bunch of buildings and occupied the VLs early. I immediately commenced to blow up said buildings with his troops inside. I guess he's learning something. Morse hasn't returned a file in a couple days, but he was hurling his troops in a bloody mess against my defenders. Lots of things going boom and bang bang. Some of his things burning. Some of my guys running, lots of his running. [ 05-26-2001: Message edited by: chrisl ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dima: Anyone plays CM on 15" LCD monitor ? How good is it comparing to a good CRT ? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I play strictly on a 14" LCD monitor (Mac Powerbook). It's pretty good most of the time, but you have to adjust the angle sometimes. In snow scenarios it's a real pain-- it can be pretty hard to see any terrain features very well.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: WHEN REPEAT WHEN IS SECOND WAVE DUE TO LAND? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Second wave? We called them back because of heavy seas.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Knaust: I think that an Axis defender is strongly unfavored <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The defender is at a disadvantage whether it's allies or axis. The attacker has more units and typically greater ability to concentrate forces on a small number of defenders at a time.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer: I think i am lucky to be back considering Chrisl almost killed me in his Car of Death (tyre lost tread on the freeway). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The poisoning didn't work either, but I'll get you next time.

If you still have the autosave file you should send it to BTS with a note describing what happened. They're good about trying to find the source of bugs- though I imagine the fix will only go into CM2. It seems like a pretty odd bug though, because I suspect that the files have some kind of checksums to keep you from even opening corrupted files.

How bad were your total losses? If they're bad enough, the flags don't matter much.

You won't always see a targeting line when a faust is fired-- a squad can target its small arms in one direction and the faust in a different direction. The targeting line will go with the small arms. As far as troops firing them-- faust range is close! Especially if you have a PF-30, and the rockets will draw attention (and fire!). Even the 60 and 100 m versions aren't a whole lot better-- they aren't as accurate as a schreck, and they'll still draw fire.

They work fine when hidden-- it keeps them from getting killed early.

I think Elvis is tougher to beat than jd, and Peng and Seanachai are pretty even. PeterNZer isn't quite as tough as Elvis, but tougher than the other two. Jake is a little lower down the food chain, and doesn't play CM quite as well either. Translation: I think it depends more on your opponent than the units.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Schrullenhaft: The Best of Peng and the 'Cesspoolers <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> As sung by William Shatner. Honestly, the first one about smilies is one of my favorite Peng posts of all time, superior, in fact, to the Cabbages and Kings (which was a fine post in itself). I had lost track of where the anti-smiley post was, and feared that it was lost forever.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Babra: I'm going to live to be a hundred and three, and when I die my girlfriend will be so upset she'll have to drop out of college.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> She's going to take that long to graduate? What is that, 0.71 semester credits per year or something?

Wow. I go to work for a few hours and come back and we're already on page four of the new thread. Stared by PatBoone, no less, and rather than his orthogonal to reality frenchness, he simply quotes the original. He could have done much better--reminds me somehow of Nick Cave after a few blows to Broca's region with a large blunt object. Anyway, jd, you shall be receiving a file shortly. I'll try to set it up so that it looks like a fair fight, but puts you at a distinct disadvantage. Shouldn't be hard, given your habit of rolling blithely into severe ambushes. Merely entering a new password seems to leave you at a disadvantage. What happened to that abbot guy, anyway? He was starting to really annoy me with his persistent not quite polite, but a little bit arrogant requests for games. And he's at least going to abuse mrmouth in a game, even if he is a bit lame in the pool. And as for shandorf being the dullest person to trade emails with (I think it was shandorf who was accused of that, and if he wasn't, so what. I can't be bothererd to look back a page or two to check, and he may as well be dull, since he lives in that cold dark unpleasant place full of snow and long vowels), I can't imagine he's much duller than elvis. I've had some ladder geeks who put nothing at all in their replies (I now avoid the ladders), but elvis is almost as laconic. Speaking of elvis, things are heating up ( no, bauhaus, not like that. please remain seated) and we've been trading bullets in earnest (a few in Ernst, actually, and quite a number in joe, bill, and a bunch of other amis) and he's preparing for his second round of rushing my positions. Should be lots of blood all around. Oh yeah, almost forgot: BOO!! to you Mr. "Wankers"

Wow. That was close. I almost broke the thread again. I got some sort of weird server error when I hit the "add reply" button. I fear the end is nigh, and we must again move this pit to some other thread and begin again. Has anybody seen Eddy?

Is there an echo in here? Hallooooo....