Seanachai

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis: Seanachai, can't you make your posts shorter? I can't read all that gibberish..perhaps if you numbered it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> In which Seanachai reveals to Elvis that they should play another game; that, through Peng, they are brothers under the skin; and that Elvis is a silly little bastard that Seanachai still likes... Ah, Elvis. Our newest positive contributor to the gene pool (well, here's hoping, and you do live on the East Coast, so there are doubts to be raised), I have, perhaps of late, been unfair to you. By that I mean that your almost spectacular fixation with this 'numbering' business. Now, while every post you've made lately has clearly labeled you a Useless Male, who has realized that, having produced an heir, and hopefully Insured his own financial lack of existence to the maximum extent possible under American Law in order to guarantee the continuation of his family/genetic material (such as it is; we hold out hopes for viability of the wife), we know that you are confronting your own uselessness, lad, and redundancy, and the angst that attends your realization that after the children teeth, your only purpose is as bread winner, and the family could be better served by a sudden, untraceable accident and a rather spectacular insurance policy. But, Elvis, that wouldn't address your value to the Peng Challenge Thread. Besides the fact that you keep Peng somewhat focused on something that vaguely looks like Reality, you have your own, 'heart of a clown' uses. I think, rather than wonder whether your wife will convince you to do 'The Right Thing For the Family', I'd just as soon see a set up from you. Give yourself every advantage, you redundant male. It doesn't matter that you won our last game. We just want you to feel valuable again, and stop this horrible numeration rant, which clearly reveals your fears about being just another entry into an acturial table. You poor, poor, frightened bastard. I'd rather have my heart pulled out through my own arsehole than deal with the zen like longing for non-existance that your anti-numeracy posts are revealing. I'd love to leave some mark on the universe, while, in the wake of fatherhood, you're doing some weird, Hitlerite rap on 'No Clutter! No Files! No Trace of Passage!' ELVIS! Revered Peng Childhood Friend (you pillock)! Do you know, lad, that I've just bought a huge, powerful, and astonishing Hard Drive? And do you know why? Because I want room to store every numbered turn in my games. And, when I archive them, I burn every single match on to CD. I'll show our game to your son.

People of the Peng Challenge, I come before you tonight a man much puzzled, much tried, a man, in a word, with much on his mind. Now, for many of you I know that last is a state you will never achieve. You will never suffer the stress of a multitude of thoughts competing for your attention, nor the viscitudes of having to weigh one thought against another, as the scale of your intellect has only one arm, and 'mental balance' means to many of you 'thinking very hard about the best way to walk home dead drunk without falling over'. Now, since my all but complete exoneration by that pillar of the Peng Challenge Community, the Brehon judge, Lorak the Loathed, I have felt pride over my vindication, and yet have heard the rumblings of doubt from amongst the folk. These rumblings have touched my consciousness. I am a sensitive man. And I am a man with a sense of duty. For my part in the Peng Challenge, I look upon most of you as the children I was never given the responsibility for of drowning at birth. And I feel that responsibility keenly. So, I have spent many an evening, lately, reviewing my actions towards all of you, and my duties within the glory that is the Peng Challenge Thread. My doubts and self analysis have been spurred on by a recent encounter on the Outer Boards, where a great many utterly useless ****es were debating a topic that you'd have thought even a goddamn hyaena wouldn't have the stomach to return to for another nibble, and I latched upon a lad whose views I thought vulgar and vulnerable, and proceeded to lash him about the head and shoulders with my swagger stick (Good Christ, Bauhaus, don't just sit down, crawl under the desk, you monster! That's simply not on, nor what I meant at all, and not even possible, you troubled little toad!) His name among us on the forum is R_Leet. Yes, I know it's an awful, useless monicker. But the point I wish to make is, that he was a right good lad, and emailed me to point out what a vicious old bastard I'd been, and to point out the fact that we were, in fact, in complete agreeement. And he did it in such a very nice way, that it was more hideously effective than if he'd called me horrible names, thrown battery acid on me at a picnic, and spat upon me in front of reporters. Besides filling me with a desire to find out where he lived and have a go at sniping at him and any available family members through unshaded windows, he made me re-evaluate my actions concerning inviting Grogs, even if a very specific and acceptable group of Grogs, on to this sceptered pool of Cess. Because he was an Outer Boarder, you see, and such a jolly nice fellow. And I still maintain that what I did was right, and just, and I would do it again. But one thing was said, that needs addressing. And it is a statement by Shaw: for Seanachai would understand, that the CessPool is a community and NOT a dictatorship ruled by any one person. And Joe, Old Foul Joe, is completely correct. And I apply his logic to my own actions, when, in an anarchistic moment of bonhommie, or, perhaps, a fit of dictatorial and vulgar heresy, or, as some would maintain, a fit of drunkness bordering on the danger of aspirating vomit, I made my way to the Winecape 'Invitational Tournament of Stars', and invited in the Grogs and Tournament players. Who shall judge? A moment of personal dictatorship, where one man strode forward (tripping and singing a bit under his breath), and cast aside traditions and rules in order to invite Grogs and Tournament Players into the Mother Beautiful Thread? The desires of all other members cast aside in a furious moment of personal hubris and megalomania? Or, perhaps, a moment of glorious freedom and high jest, when an unkempt, white-haired, half-mad dwarf (tripping and singing a bit under his breath), wandered into a Grog Tournament, and, spinning wildly in a circle and laughing, exclaimed 'everyone welcome! Come in, come in, the party is about to begin! Hurry, hurry, bring a thunderstorm, the barometer is falling!' Or just a sad, aging drunk (tripping and singing a bit under his breath), stumbling into a gathering of people focused on serious business, and mumbling half understood promises of status in an outlaw gathering of questionable ancestry to those most likely to smile politely and laugh dismissively while phoning the police? But Shaw, Joe Shaw, has led me to these questions. Because, although he is pompous, and a pontificator, and in danger of pointing out one too many times the mote in another's eye, yet he is a True Friend of the Peng Challenge Thread. And so, I shall make my obesience, and I shall do a bit of the scrape and bow, and I shall, this night, go before Peng, Father Confessor of the Peng Challenge Thread, and I shall tell him what was truly in my heart when I went to the Winecape 'Invitational Tournament of Stars', and invited in the Tournament Grogs. And, having been Accused by Shaw, Reviled by all, Judged by Lorak, and Confessed to Peng (Lorak, mark it! A new distinction that must be added to the roster: Confessed to Peng!), I know that ultimately, my journey with Peng and Berli into the Wasteland, half mad, mostly drunk, and vulgar in the way that only the truly noble can be vulgar, will lead me to the fate that I deserve. I'm almost certain this means an eternity of scenarios designed by Berli, Rune, and Goanna, played against all of you. By Berli's Gut, May the Ale Hold Out, Bring It On! And when that lad, R_Leet shows up, the bastard's mine. Such a nice young fellow. I'm almost certain Berli told me you need at least six Squires to get a corner office in the Abyss. Hmm, Hiram, Panzer Leader, Mr Spkr, and...R_Leet. I wonder if I can get extra credit for Panzer Leader. The lad's been a trial to me, and no mistake. But he's a good lad. Not very bright, but a good lad, nevertheless.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: Actually, on behalf of 'we people' referring specifically to myself, my family, their ethnic forebearers, but not members of the Peng Challenge Thread...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I apologize to R_Leet. Mind, I find his screename distinctly odd, uncomfortable to type, and suspect, but the fellow himself seems quite alright. And perhaps I have been a bit testy of late. I blame this damn heat. Minnesotans are built for cold, dammit, not endless +90° heat. Still, that's no bloody excuse for bad manners. Here, Tiger, and Aitkin, make up your differences and arrive at some conclusion. Tiger, David never insulted, attacked, nor belittled you personally. He's a man of strong opinions, is all. I, for one, after my recent foray into being a bit of a pillock against someone who hadn't attacked me, would prefer to see that sort of restraint acknowledged, and spread. This is a hot button issue for many posters, and we remain a diverse and extemely ignorant and annoying community, all dedicated to the single purpose of playing The Game. Oh, and hopefully having a bit of a jolly singsong with our mates, and coming to grips with why we post to each in the first place.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lindan: BTW: look at what happens if the cesspool doesn't eradicate the fieldmarshalls of the world. give them some more years which they don't deserve and you get this: http://www.rubberburner.com [ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Lindan ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I..I...I may never be able to sleep again without screaming. Stuka! Take note, lad, this is where your attitudes might lead you. I would hope for better things from you. Thank you, Lindan, as I had just come here from the Outer Boards where I somewhat lost my temper. I would like to say I feel better now, but I mainly feel horrified and queasy. Still, that's an improvement over angry and prejudicial.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by R_Leet: Seanachai, while I totally agree with you on this one, it seems that your posts have been rather "testy" of late. Is the cess spilling over into the outerboards? The idea of being able to modify any grapic in the entire system seems to be the main objective here. Don't you people ever just play the game?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Actually, on behalf of 'we people' (are you referring to my family, their ethnic forebearers, or members of the Peng Challenge Thread? I find those who speak of 'you people' deeply suspect) are you speaking to me, or exercising your self-perceived right to create groups of enemies that you will then round up and put into camps? If you are addressing myself and my family, then I have to say no, I am, sadly, the only member of my family that plays CM. And not by want of missionary work, I might add. As for your accusation that my posting here is 'the Cesspool spilling over', I have to say that I am working very hard to be courteous to you. Your statement right now seems to indicate that because I'm a poster in the Peng Challenge Thread, that any opinion that I might post elsewhere is so much ****e, and is a wortwhile basis for dismissing anything I have to say. This despite the fact that I have many, many times previously addressed this same goddamn question, expressed my opinion about it, and feel, I think, quite rightly, that my opinion is every bit as valid anothers, and certainly more valid than your dismissing it because of my 'association' with the Peng Challenge Thread. I asked Tiger to explain why he wanted to Mod this specific resource, which has been a point of major contention on the forums, rather than questioning the ability to Mod resources in general. If you can't understand why I might raise that specific point, and then insult me for asking the question, then I can only say that the Outer Boards are far more prone to useless **** and personal attacks then I thought. Perhaps you'd prefer that, as I'm a participator in the Peng Challenge Thread, I have a specific mention to that fact in my signature? Or perhaps wear a yellow 'Star of Peng' on my garments when I visit the rest of the CM Forum? Just so the rest of the community knows that my personal, filthy opinions can be dismissed because they belong to one of 'those people'.

Sigh. Aitkin, you much respected lunatic, your arguments are always so reasonable. Where are the Heidmans of yesteryear? We're going into this again, are we? Let me begin by saying that Tiger is a well-liked and contributing member of this community, and then let me ask him this: For what purpose, Tiger, do you wish to have the ability to Mod 'Unit Elmination' markers? What do you have in mind, lad, both in terms of visual representation, and the purpose for it? Until questions like this are answered, everyone's opinions are just another bargee over issues that should have been laid to rest long ago. To make my question more pointed: you've raised a sensitive and argumentative topic. Did you do it for any reason other than to see the same goddamn arguments, concerns and anger thrown about, or was their a point to your post? If so, then state it. I, personally, think the only point of 'Unit Elimination' markers is just that, and their ability to convey that knowledge is all I ask or want. I have chimed in before on the 'more graphic' arguments, involving the 'I want to see organs flying about', as well as the unbelievably specious and even stupid 'it makes people aware of the consequences and reality of war' arguments, and I'm now working from an approach of accountability. TIGER: Why do you want the ability to Mod the 'Unit Elimination' markers, and what do you intend to do with that ability? Don't shuffle and piss around, lad, why've you inflicted this old argument on the community again?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lindan: wipe your feet? here? vonshrad, you are terrifying me. the universe just collapsed back into my head and probably won't come out again the next 2 days... BTW, is your van still running?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Here, you little pillock, I keep looking for the thread where that unbelievable git Fieldmarshall accuses you of having started the Peng Challenge Thread, but I can't seem to lock it down. Could you let us know where this rather droll and empty-headed post is located? By the by, I never know how to deal with objects so apallingly useless as Fieldmarshall. Obviously he either has the mental age of an 8 year old, or he is in High School. Now, you want to encourage and mentor young people, certainly, but the repeated occurrence on the CM Boards of those with an ego strength far larger than their IQs, world experience, or anything interesting to say, does present a bit of a problem, which is further exacerbated by the nature of communication via the Internet. That is, the little bastards, with no more accomplishments in the world than the ability to turn on a computer, manipulate a few keys, and then evacuate themselves online, show-up and expect to be treated like actual human beings. Of course, when they are treated like actual human beings, that is, with no respect at all, belittled, laughed at, and pointed out for the useless little ****es they are, they bristle, yip, and demand favourable status. But I digress. Lindan, you horror. In the style of Penggrog, let me just say: we have reviewed your conclusions and must question why ignorant posters of a young age receive so much attention in cm. look for our soon to be published work on correctly modeling kicking the little swine in the head, with special reference to the data from the testing grounds outside selected montesorri method daycares. especially of interest are the cross-referencing of data regarding the results of droning on in badly structured lowercase english referencing topics that won't feed the hungry nor teach the young, but that we insist are as significant as the use of proper english or even having a a political process. when these are matched against data suggesting that scientist/technilogical posters have no more responsibility to the process of fostering awareness and educating than they do to making any effort to make themselves understood while endlessly indulging their own hobby-horses then i think you will see that the function of cm in the coming millenium is to indulge specialists in their monomaniacal specialties while trying to ignore football hooligans as well as any need to engage their minds in any way. Sorry, all, as I haven't the necessary intellectual tools to properly elucidate the Grog approach to CM while attempting to engage the minds of the people it's aimed at. Bugger. Still, I had a damn good whack at annoying young people and grogs both, eh? [ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iskander: Rather wordy, but since no one else is about, why not? Let me go get the gillies to unload the booze... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Perhaps a bit, but I imagine it will keep the Jehovah's Witnesses from ringing the bell when you're trying to sleep off your latest debauch.

There, that's done. Now, doubtless it will be some short while before Madmatt shows up to lock this one down, so you can all post here regarding how vile my title, was, how much contempt you hold me in, and what you would have done instead. Or better yet, take it over to the new Thread and look what's written upon it's forehead.

ALROIGHT, THEN! HEADS UP, MOUTHS CLOSED, AND LISTEN TO THE ORFICER, YOU LOT! The Rules of the Peng Challenge Thread are quite straightforward, really. Astonishingly simple, in fact, in a complex world. First off, no one here likes you, has any desire to know you, and, in fact, the entire sodding Universe doesn't give a stuff what you want or have to say. Go Away. Should you remain on despite the first rule, we next wish you to know that coming in, striking a pose, and challenging everyone in the Thread to a match will cause the wastelands to echo with laughter, and you will look like the stupid pillock you are. You will then be told to Go Away, more forcibly, and people will really begin to mean it. Pick someone out, preferably something as newly arrived and worthless as yourself, taunt and challenge it, and you might get a game. Next, you should sound off as though your wit, courage, and intelligence were not in question. In the vulgate, Sound Off As Though You've Got a Pair! I believe it is. Oh, and more than half a brain, please. If you sound off well, wittily, and with great force of person and humour, you may be accorded a measure of respect here, perhaps for the first time in your doubtless tawdry little life. It's something to look forward to. Finally, while sounding off, we'd like you to remember that this is the Peng Challenge Thread, not your local boozer where every vulgarity, expletive, and prejudicial slur are met by howls of laughter from halfwits who are only 15 minutes and 3 drinks away from spending the night in Detox. We have standards here, whether you can follow the concept or not, and if you ignore or trample them, you will not only be told to Go Away, you will Go Away, both from here, and hopefully the Forum in general. Now, that's our simple rules, told in an unsimple way and at great length. Shortly another of the inmates will probably be along to revile me, and repost them in a shorter and easier to understand version. [ 07-22-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Well, as we are the mystical line in the sand normally drawn by the Mad One, and as most of the lads seem to be sleeping off Saturday Night, or perhaps, still sleeping with Saturday night, I propose to start up a new Thread. I will take a few minutes after posting this to see if anyone (other than Mensch) shows up to disagree, then will begin the journey again. For all those who feel I am still under something of a cloud, please to remember that we wish for an orderly transition, and express your doubts to your pets, rather than starting up multiple competing threads.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis: That's swell knowing how you guys name the files and how you delete them but no one has really provided me with the reason of why you do. As long a you have the most recent file that is all you need. Why do you need the last file you received AND the last file you sent? You should only need the last file you sent in case the hammehead you're playing loses it. And to do that renaming the file isn't needed. It is not a hardship to delete the files but it is a drag and clutter....for what purpose?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> My God, Elvis, we don't have to prove you wrong, as genetics has done that for us already. Do what ever you like with your turns, we aren't coming to your house to watch tumbleweeds blow across your empty and uncluttered hard drive. Just stop demanding that everyone else in the universe climb on board the latest quirk in your spiralling Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and allow the rest of us to do what we want with our files, Rainman. And we never said you couldn't count. What we said was 'you don't count'. Several of us, of course, did point out that you can count, but only with difficulty and by concentrating to a point that usually causes you to wet yourself. People (well, Lawyer, actually) are demanding that I apologize for inviting Grogs into the Thread, while Elvis is on his umpteenth iteration of his innumeracy rant, and no one's shot him yet. Someone run out and get a Los Angeles County Sheriff's Deputy to come in here and put a warning shot through the back of his head. (edited to remove referance to an actual number that might have sent him off into another fit of gibbering. Hopefully the child will take after the mother). [ 07-21-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: Reporterette: "But didn't Judge Lorak note that, as a bard, Seanachai had a higher duty to speak the truth, and that by lying, he breached that duty?" Reporterette: "But why would Judge Lorak miss such an obvious call?" MrSpkr: "Well, as an officer of the court, I feel it is inappropriate for me to speculate as to why the judge may or may not have made a certain call. I would, however, point out one fact: Judge Lorak did not seem all that upset when jdmorse revealed that Mr. Shaw had recruited RuPaul to serve as the judge's, umm, PERSONAL assistant. In fact, if anything, he seemed a little MORE, er, distracted, than before." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Here, lad, and none appreciate your efforts on my behalf more than myself, we shan't cross certain lines, now shall we? Lorak is right, and more than right, that the duty of any Bard is to tell the truth, and we could pass words on the telling of truth in this one. Happy Birthday, Lorak me lad, and know that amongst all those who could be, should be, and will be Loathed, that you're one of the right sort, you awful swine. Lorak is of the clans, Mr Spkr, and quite beyond your attempts at boisterous humour. We never feared wrongful judgement from that quarter, but we never doubted the need to a certain duty.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by panzerwerfer42: For the -3 of you that care, I shall be leaving for Wisconsin (shudder) for a full week. I will be unable to dispense my wisdom during that time, as well as my challenge to Lard. Feel free to taunt and mock me during this time, as you no doubt will. I wish you all a slow, horrible death at the hands of Peng.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I wish to apologize to the entire Peng Challenge Thread for the very existence of this alleged individual. He could, very likely, actually exist, but the fact that he does so does no one any credit, and especially does harm to our own fair State. He is, self-admittedly, from Roseville, and apparently age 12. It is hard for me to properly express my apology, horror, and embarrasment. I mean, Roseville. What useless, sordid, outer-ring suburb will show up next? And I don't hold with High School students. If we acknowledge them, who will we let in next? The Mormons?!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: Well ,here I am, another year older and gosh darn it, another year better looking. Thank to all for your birthday wishes, now kindly sod off. Nice to see that the trial of Seanachai is over but a shame to have to hand my Stenographer back. Mind you, tail gunners Richards and Jolie were starting to show a little of the green eyed monster as young 'Buffy' was getting rather 'attached' to my person and god knows I would have had a Berli of a time controlling a 3-way cat fight with one arm in a sling.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Here, lad, I've largely overcome my objections to you. But let's be real, adult, men-of-the-world, lad, and set aside all this useless posturing about plastic women on media channels, and examine the realities of existence, and come to grips with the fact that, unless you hired some blondie to be pictured with on Lorak's site, your own lovely wife is a goddamn babe. And, by your near constant and almost incomprehensibly odd postings on this Thread, a woman of singular perception. Now, lad, a man who then makes boasting posts regarding women who are about as 'real' as Joan of Arc or Salome, is a man who's either an idjit, or who fears he doesn't deserve what he has. I'd like to think Colin, you , and the Missus are going for a bit of a walk-about soon, while mocking fools, and you and yer own lovely wife staring deep into each other's eyes, while you clasp her hand and assure her that she will never, ever, actually have to meet me. Young love. You useless lucky pillock. Send me another setup. Richards? Jolie? Bah, lad. Oh, and happy birthday, you annoying Aussie ****e. Sorry to hear that your (rather disturbing and very sad) phyiscal injuries didn't occur while it could have done my troops some bloody good. Heal up quick, or I'll draw out my life's savings to come and console your poor, poor, blonde, young, beautiful, er...I'll come and have a bit of a singsong with your own lovely wife. Neglected, no doubt, while you go on about women that are about as real as Leda and Europa. Pillock.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis: Sure go ahead and line up to make fun of the guy who finally says stop the madness...each of you lemmings go back and ask your "I want to be loved" selfs why you number. I bet not a single one of you fools can come up wih a better reason than "everyone numbers files..it's what we do". Wankers.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> For the bloody love of a Nazerene on a crutch, would you shut the hell up about turn numbering, you pillock?! Now, Elvis, while I realize that you are...well, not the identical, nor fraternal, but rather 'emotinally sequential' twin of Peng himself, your going on about the turn numbering thing is complete ****e. Here I am, playing PBEMs against the like of Bauhuas, who starts out relatively on-board, and slowly switches to a system of turn-numbering that he claims to have learned from 'the Rats of NIMH'. I enjoy a hearty chuckle over the difficulties of getting the goddamn things into my subfolders without constant vetting, only to slowly discover that OGSF has apparently been bathing in the same font of madness, with occassional resets. Berli, of course, chooses to return the next sequentially numbered turn, or something labeled 'Deal With It, Signed, Satan'. Peng sends me anything from the next, sequentially numbered and properly named turn to something sent to another player, to something intended for another player, to something disguised as a turn to another opponent, but that is, in fact, the next turn in our game. Mensch sends me turns named after pets he's owned, or, more disturbingly, women he's slept with, and there's no goddamn way to tell which is which, and even a close analysis of his email remarks leave you wondering who was named what. I still retain an appaling affection for MadMensch, because both his posts and his email are like an ongoing encounter with the works of Thomas Pynchon, except that Mensch is a little less literary and and can't vet his posts for typos worth ****e. Most everyone else makes occassional errors, and, whenever I make a mistake, Shaw calls me a dumb ****. And do you know who always returns every single goddamn turn to me, correctly numbered in sequence, even when I get the sequence wrong, and has noted without having it explained my personal system of marking my turns with an 's' to help with my own internal record keeping, and never fails to mark his returns with a 'p'? Pawbroon. You whinging, Philadelphia waste of genetic material, The French, with noblesse and complete aplomb, manage a task which has actually occupied your alcohol sodden brain to the extent of posting complete ****e about your inability to count to 21 without removing socks, shoes, and undoing your goddamn zipper, and then whining about how you can't get past 20 because 'little elvis' is lost in pee-stained cotton that you simply aren't sober enough to navigate through. How I loathe you. And I don't say that just because you beat me in our first game, you resident of Baja-New Jersey. A quick analysis of America reveals the only useful, contributing purpose of Pennsylvania to be keeping the more useful and intelligent portions of America buffered from the useless detritus of the Eastern Seaboard, as no worthless sack of ****e from New York or New Jersey would risk the travails of crossing the Pennsylvania wastelands to impose their failure of vision and personal worthlessness on the rest of the country, while assuring themselves that they are the very pinnacle of mankind, because they're not from Pennsylvania. As such, I suppose we should honour you, but I'd prefer to wait for one of those brief periods of lucidity in which you and I both have time free in which I can instruct you in the need to maintain some connection to reality, and at least a passing familiarity with a numerical system not based on whether you're incarcerated or not, while attempting not to damage your psyche further by calling up images of the those days when the long-suffering school that you attended (doubtless Catholic, and filled with shame by your progress), attempted to teach you 'math songs', and were subjected to the vision of you groping for '21', and challenge you to another game. You pillock. Now, if you've nothing more to contribute to the Eternal Peng Challenge Thread than that you're a complete and utter tit, then I advocate sending you to the Outer Boards as an Ambassador, to prove that we can be just as goddamn fixated on issues of no sodding importance to the continued existence of the Universe as the most stupid of Outer Board discussions, ala: 'more graphically and blood covered, it-takes-the-numerical-display-of-an-entire-village, why can't I make my Heavy Machine Gun squads run for office in an attempt to properly determine the German superiourity that is intrinsic in both optical equipment and the need to represent vehicles that make me dribble a bit of saliva while retaining my right to judge the statements of everyone else as making me go ha-ha!, a submissive/masochistic vision of why the Outer Boards often do not enthrall' sort of post. It takes it right out of a man to write run-on ****e like that, but it's still preferable to some dog-piss sodden Philadelphian going on about his irritation with a sequential numbering system. Let me know when you've overcome your deep-seated fixation with the horrors of male menopause, and we shall play our second game. You pillock.

M'Lud Lorak! Knights and Squires of the Cesspool! And gentle readers of the Eternal Peng Challenge Thread I stand before you, a man accussed, a man villified, a man judged. I reminisce before you, a man of remembrance. I remain before you, a man well satisfied. I come before you tonight, not to praise Peng, but to remember him. I cast before you memories, scattered like pearls before swine (and never, in human history, has that bit of hubris been more justified). I remember the first post I ever read by Peng. And I remember my reaction. I remember thinking: 'That goddamn sonofabitch is a complete ****e, and is looking to kick off an hideous flame-war.' Imagine my surprise, confusion, and guarded delight, when I realized that the vicious, syphilitic postings of Mr Peng were treated as the musings of the Ultimate Curmudgeon...that is to say, the ultimate 'Peng Challenge Threader'. And so I made a choice, and posted my 'challenge' to Peng. There was barely a Beta Demo then, and I, no Grog, no Significant Contributor, no Long Time Poster, still sallied forth, and flung my gage at the feet of Peng. Puzzled, he accepted. Surprise surmounted surprise. For, having 'Challenged' Peng, I found the Evil Berli had shown up and met 'The Peng Challenge', and in Peng's own name. Soon others had flocked to make their own challenges, and mocked and belittled the posters, and done further damage to the 'gentlemanly' behaviour of the Board. Dizzy with the joy of taunt and boast, counter-taunt, and opponents of wit and sarcasm, I realized I had found a homeland. More joined us, including those reprobates from the convict nation Down Under, such as the Lizard King. Swedes appeared. The Horror of the Mormon Wives occurred, and the survivor's, many of them deeply scarred, found Shaw amongst us. What a long, strange trip it became. And then the Knights of the Cesspool were born. How many here remember crouching in the goddamn sewers under Minnesota Joe's house, taunting him? Who does not remember the creation of Squires, the realization that standards of participation would have to be set, and maintained? Then came Pengnarok, Pengerdammerung, and the death of the first Peng Challenge Thread, followed by schism, heresy, and the wars of religion. They, in turn, were laid to rest by the creation of the Office of the Inquisition, with Meeks, Arch-Heretic, repentant and brought back into the fold by the promise of amnesty and power, named as Inquisitor General. Followed, of course, by the horrible Dark Age of the Meeks Persecution, when, mad with power and orthodoxy, Meeks alienated everyone in sight, and finally fled the Thread of threads to read Playboys in Finnish, and, as far as can be determined, to conduct Polar Bear Scat studies. Finally, there were the dark days of disaffection and ennui, anger and despair. And the Old Ones went into the landscape yet uncharted, and waited for the people to follow them. And the People have continued their noisy, contentious, and chaotic journey into what was nothing, to be the now, and to continuously create the World that is the Eternal Peng Challenge Thread. And the world they have created stretches out behind them. And some parts are great, and some are good, and many are complete ****e, but they continue to Stomp Upon the Terra. Now, I am accused of crimes against the Peng Challenge Thread, and I one of the Old Ones. There is no doubt that what Berli has accused me of, I have done. What is at question is the nature of the 'guilt' in what I have done. There is an ignobility amongst the folk of the Peng Challenge Thread that is quite noble. Some among the Outer Boards have seen it, and recognized it for what it is. Others, deeply humourless, or, perhaps, so certain in their moral rectitude (Yes, my friends, join me in a hearty 'Sit Down, Bauhus!') of their fitness to judge the behaviour of others, and find them wanting, have dismissed the Peng Challenge Thread, have disparaged it, have, on many occassions, even called for its banishment, or elimination. But we of the Peng Challenge Thread, walking forever forward into the cybernetic nothingness of 'never never, but will be and always was' know that the New Folk will show up. Some as gypsies, some as squatters, most moving on, forgotten, or leaving but a quaint tale behind them, but all of them moving the Thread on into the Dreamtime, leaving only reality in their wake. Berli, as the Spirit in the Desert, is the Great Devourer, the Unmaker, the Spirit of Flame and Deception that knows that every thread in a pattern must eventually be cut. Berli is the knowledge of what is the Future. Peng is the Spirit of Judgement, the Now, the Moment, the Great Drunkeness of Existence that cannot remember yesterday, and can't be troubled about tomorrow. And I, I am the Past, and so I lead the way. I invite in the New Folk, and have a care for where we are going next, for without moving forward, the Past is a memory without rememberers, and no one new will be raised up in the Way Things Were, and Shall Be, and are Bloody Well Going To Be, and so I find myself, on occassion, in the Outer Boards, that often dull, occassionally sublime, and always, always, the tedious present, and sometimes, I tell them about the Dreamtime. I tell them about the Peng Challenge Thread. And I tell them that the Challenge can be theirs. Some are so stubbornly judgemental that they ignore the offer. Others, as I've said, so humourless that they resent the offer, and grow angry. Others are insecure and rather paltry little people, so wrapped up in the glory and importance they imagine, and even require, to be themselves, that anything that doesn't reflect that is wrong and must be suppressed. And some are just wrapped up in their own concerns, and have never even heard of the Peng Challenge Thread. And some, in all fairness, enter to encounter a fair amount of tediousness in the Eternal Peng Challenge Thread, or bursts of crassness, and decide to give it a miss. No one can blame them. But we should never cease trying to make them realize that, if all the truly gifted and interesting people in the world came in here and headed off into the Wasteland, this would be one of the most truly briliant, entertaining, and thought provoking places in the Universe. Even now it's way ahead of television for entertainment; kinder and gentler, even at it's worst, than politics; and frankly, far less sick and disturbing than what I hear on my drive to work each morning. I have invited in the Grogs. I have made offers, that were not strictly mine to make, to the Outer Boarders. I have attempted, M'Lud Lorak, Knights and Ladies of the Cesspool, and you Gentle Readers of the Outer Boards, to save those who were redeemable, and in so doing, to save us all. Oh, and I'm always looking for a bit of new talent for the jolly singsongs. Now, Berli, you see, is not into salvation. Here in the Peng Challenge Thread (the mad old man declaims) I am the One who is all about redemption. Lorak has judged, the Seniour Knights have had their smile, the Knights have cavorted like a gang of f'ing seals, the Squires have been stalwart, and as thick as two short planks, and even the Pissboys, serfs, and SSNs have done their part. The rest is...well, the rest is what shall happen next, now isn't it? I trust that I have answered at such length and obtuseness as to provide the bonafides that I am indeed the Seanachai, the Bard of the Peng Challenge Thread, a Cesspool bard though I may be, bolded or not, as you choose, and an Old One of the Eternal Peng Challenge Thread. Oh, and for those of you who question where I've been all this time, more on that anon.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: Hey, is Berli broken? My emails are a-bouncin'. Croda and Meeks both showing back up at the same time? Anybody else feeling a little weird about that?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Although under a cloud of calumny as I may be, unjustly indicted before my peers, made mock of by bloody Outer Boarders! (is there anyone who thinks that 'Claymore' would have had the hair to show up here and mock me, if Shaw and his ilk hadn't made a point of disavowing me, both on the Thread, and on the Outer Boards? I think not). Yet I acknowledge the return of both Meeks and Croda. Croda, you disgusting pile of ofal, you owe me a goddamn turn in the battle of 'Croda Hill'! I will send you my last so that you may expiate your sins by finishing losing to me. Meeks! Your continued presence in this universe...disturbs me. I had begun to think you a figment. You also owe me a turn in our horribly unbalanced, one-sided game that you were winning in a most unsportsmanlike way when last your southern moniker was uttered in these rather liquidly echoing halls. Do you prefer to finish humiliating me with your King Tiger and JagdTiger, or would you prefer to finish our game revolving around Schloss Peng? (I still have both games on disk, you pillock) Send me an apology instanter, and state the terms by which you are willing to abase yourself and thereby be welcomed back into the bosom of the Eternal Peng Challenge Thread, you hand puppet of the gods. Feh. Likewise, Bah! [ 07-17-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: And you shall have your trial you vile heretic. I shall take upon myself the role of Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool. You may, of course, retain counsel for your {snicker} defense, if you can find the legal representation you need Joe stands aside to avoid the rush from Lawyer, jd and MrSpkr. Lorak may choose to preside or he may appoint another as judge. The jury, needless to say, shall be twelve True Knights of the CessPool ... or as many as we can find sober at a given moment. I suggest that Lorak appoint these as well. I shall produce evidence and present a case that will leave you exposed (sit down Bauhaus ... well, yes, I suppose that AFTER he is convicted then perhaps) as the hypocritical heretic you are. Let justice prevail. Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And Justice Shall Indeed Prevail, Shaw! As the old saying goes: "The man who allows a lawyer to represent him has a fool for a client." Therefore, I choose as my solicitor: JD, Lawyer, and Mr Spkr! That's roight, you officious sod, I'm going with the OJ Simpson defense: Throw enough useless wankers at them, and truth will be the first victim, and justice the second! Er, that is, by putting together a truly gifted legal team, I hope to address all aspects of my innocense and uprightness, and make it manifest so that I can once again take my place amongst you. Hmm, Lorak would seem to be the most natural choice for a judge, as he's Loathed, and all judges are loathed. All, he's the very recording angel of the Peng Challenge Thread, and that requires a certain level of neutrality. Also, he's a Celt and an Irishman, and that means he's not a pissant and useless piece of ethnic detritus like most of you. Are we going to go through the usual Roman Circus of empanneling jurours, just like we do in America, with both sides having to agree?

Internal Server error my arse! The fix is in, and when I tried to answer Lawyer as the bastard deserved, my beautifully reasoned and well stated text was nowhere to be found! [ 07-16-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ] [ 07-16-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: There it is again, almost as if someone who was ONCE important to us wishes to communicate but, due to some dire circumstance is unable to. Perhaps if that entity were eligible to be bolded ... Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> SHAW, YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAN! I'M NOT HAVING YOUR DISPARAGEMENT ANYMORE, SIRRAH! I would challenge you to a game, but we're already playing a game. And I'm not waiting on Peng, the Father Confessor's judgement, because the man's damn busy, completely daft, and is sending me emails that seem to indicate that we have to play some ungodly number of games to lay to rest my supposed apostasy (as though I were not, in fact, the greatest proponent and enforcer of tradition and orthodoxy on the Thread)! I CALL FOR A TRIAL! THAT'S ROIGHT, YOU LOT OF SHIFTY FERRETS! A TRIAL! A TRIAL BY LAW BY MY PEERS! (What the hell good is a trial by combat when that's all we bloody well do here?) BRING YOUR CHARGES, SHAW, PRODUCE YOUR EVIDENCE, AND EITHER CONVICT AND DAMN ME, OR BY ALL THE BLOODY GODS, SET ME FREE FROM YOUR ENDLESS INNUENDOS AND EMBOLDEN MY NAME AGAIN!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2: Ditto, although rather than "interesting" I would choose the phrase, "A perfect weekend" ...Heaven is indeed close when drinking French wine and eating French food, and all that's just a plus when you consider the real reason for my visit. Paris, needless to say that's where I was. Not quite Heaven? Lets just say you couldn't get any closer. Unless of course you consider the company. *SIGH* (Edited to say Welcome Back Meeks) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well, now, it could be just a bit closer to heaven, Emma, as it could have involved me coming over (at a decently late hour of the morning, say, around 10 AM or there abouts), to find you and The French still snogging and giggling, and bounced into the flat calling "Cheerio, Emma! Holla, Marcel! Enough of that, you two, it's time to come down to the car, as we're leaving for Brittany and the Celtic Music Festival! I've brought crusty rolls, cheese, white wine, and a quick plate of oysters for Pawbroon!" You see, I was always meant to be the cheerful, boisterous, slightly demented friend of the Couple In Love, who, in his heart of hearts, longed for the lady, but was simply too much the Good Fellow to ever get the girl or come between the people he loved. So I get to sing all the most humourous numbers, and have most of the funniest and most pithy lines, while you two get to be in love, and be happy, and, of course, get to have all the sex. On the other hand, there is always the chance that you'll have a lovely friend who's quite smitten with Marcel, but dissapointed because of his utter inability to see anyone but you, and, somewhere around turn 27 in a Quick Battle, will suddenly become aware of the previously ignored romantic potential of the laughing and jesting idjit that she's been ignoring for most of the game, and suddenly look deep into my eyes, and, just as the Final Battle Statistics come up, and we all swing into the last big number, will fall for me like a ton of bricks. However, the whole thing will end before I actually get some, but at least the wine was bloody good, and no one can say I didn't have a lot of fun with the humourous songs about love, friendship, and the well-placed Artillery Piece (with a raised eyebrow and smirk over the play on words, and involve myself and Bauhaus singing a back and forth piece, but Bauhaus hasn't even a sniff of a chance of getting a girl, and is merely there for humourous effect). [ 07-16-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by chrisl: Hey! Can't you read? don't you bother to check people's info? I was here in the original incarnation. I posted the 1000th post (not the 1000th response like some little sycophant of Ethan). I slew the original incarnation of the MBT, and I am a physicist (also in Pasadena, CA, but no relation to the mine-dude). We also covered string theory back in the original, too, at the request of Peng. If you want to talk about storing anti-matter we can deal with it when I get back from vacation. Maybe I'll send you some in the mail and you can figure out how to open the package without annihilating the universe. And MkIV send me that file back-- I want to finish before I get bled out by mosquitoes.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Er, Chrisl, lad, I can't help but notice that both you and the egregious Claymore are self-described 'physicists', and both living in Pasadena, CA. Is this some sort of disturbing cult phenomena, or have we yet another goddamn Cesspooler with Multiple Personality Disorder (supposedly statistically rare, or even non-existent, but every time you take a look around another psychotic murder, socially challenged teenager, or pissant fool with their eye on a book contract is waving a fistful of personalities at the camera and trying out different voices and a glassy stare). Perhaps you two have just taken a time-share together for the physicing season? I must say, I look somewhat askance at the coincidence. Screen names that begin with 'C', physicists, Pasadena, CA (a place no right minded individual would choose to live-in, and certainly wouldn't admit to), both players of CM. Of course, many of your posts have had some slight merit, while Claymore is still working through issues concerning Mum and how she used to dress him when he was a little lad, and the rages his Da' would throw when he came home and found him prancing about the living room. As for his rather shockingly dismissive remarks regarding another man's religion; well, I forgive him. I quite understand, as I'm often filled with nostalgia for the days when me and mine used to throw Christians to the beasts in the coliseum (rather like involving them in a posting exchange with Shandorf these days, but less painful, and the animals were better spoken).

Bah! Everything tastes of Jameson's. Lorak, please let it be made apparent: Berli: Loss Seanachai: Win It was a QB generated map, myself, as the stalwart Brits, attacking (and I've learned my lesson with Berli, and I included both a Churchill VIII, and two Cromwell VIIs). I gained a Major Allied victory. I slowly and methodically rolled Berli up like a rather nicely done, if evil, oriental rug. Now, allow me to shuffle off and contemplate what a bunch of lack-witted little horrors you are.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Claymore: Anyone else care to start up with me? Cheers Murray P.S. I really think there should be an un-sportsmanship prize, don't you?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ya' have defamed, me, sir. You have mocked me, and held me at naught. You have come into my own house, and belitttled me, and you lesser than the least. You know that to which I refer. You are a low fellow, devoid of wit, shorn of honour, and a sodding bloody bastard. You defeat the Berli, you posture and strut amongst your Grog friends, but will ya' face me man tae man? I would bet my last that you're not even named for that noble weapon, hidden amongst the thatch every time the English and their lackeys came a-calling on Highland warriours, but rather, you're named after a goddamn American remotely detonated mine. Ya' pillock. A lesser man amongst eagles I might be, but I call you out in front of your own, you poodle. You yorkshire terrier. You bloody pekinese. Send me a setup.