Seanachai

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer: Perhaps you are just Mr Spkr many tired years down the road... Jake<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The very thought reduces my will to live to naught...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Schrullenhaft: Madmatt has secretly been compiling the 'Cesspool' threads and will soon release... The Best of Peng and the 'Cesspoolers Unfortunately distribution agreements have limited its placement in store shelves between SPAM and really cheap alcohol at your local convenience store.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> My gods, we have arrived, that we have! How cheap is the alcohol? My 'Journey to Discover America', that quickly turned into my 'Journey to Discover the Cheapest Jug of Red Wine in America'(Battle Mountain, Nevada; $1.59 for 3 Litres of 'some form of Burgundy') would have done the Peng Challenge Thread proud.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2: Phew...... Glad I finished catching up with those posts. Just one question though, What's with this Blue Ribbon thingy? I have just got back from "Bonnie Scotland" where I attended a wedding, most of the guys wore Kilts, and trust me.. none of them would have been wearing ANYTHING underneath. It was a lovely day not even a hint of a breeze shame really... BTW ..... Nice place you have here Paw, but where is the balcony?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Emma! Fairest of the fair, and most worthy of woman kind, thank ****e you've returned. As to the ribbon, I believe some nations use red to signify 1st Prize, here in America we use blue. As for a balcony, we'll build you a little platform out of some of the Squires and Serfs which you can grace by standing atop it, and we will call it the pedestal of the Peng Challenge Thread. Wear slacks, however, when atop it. Even if we nail them into place face down, most of them will try for a look up.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Oh, so sorry Peng if anyone here gave you the idea that we (those that matter) really give a flying |CENSORED| what your opinion on the subject is. You're it boyo<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Quite right, Peng. As Berli and I are in complete agreement on the point, your fate has basically been determined. If you're good, we won't necessarily encourage the lads to call you 'Father' Peng. Now, as usual, Mensch is entitled to go on gibbering to his heart's content, and, also as usual, it is recommended that people ignore him. Peng is hereby declared Father Confessor of the Peng Challenge Thread, aka 'The Cesspool'. Please direct all discussion of your fears, sins, inadequacies and criminal acts to Peng. Unless they're amusing or extremely lurid, then you're welcome to share them with the group at large (within the constraints of our image as nature's noblemen, and with all due concern for the standards of the Board, of course). Do not hesitate to contact Peng to unburden yourself no matter what time of the day or night it may be. If Peng continues to rail against his selection as Confessor, I will shortly be making his home phone number available.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Gen-x87: *Yawn* Gen<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Must have read his own profile. Or contemplated his own existence stretching out before him like an armour penetration discussion.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: Ok you Pool Pundits, that rogue thread where #176 unmasked his aversion for us is now closed due to the Bald One Locksmanship<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bah! Here I went to all the trouble of going over there and very nicely challenging Fred to a PBEM in which he could ease into the joys of bantering with an opponent, and the brute squad shows up and the whole thread is locked down. Well, I'll get even with Peng for that one. I concur with Berli that Peng should become the Father Confessor of the Peng Challenge Thread, in perpetuity, and that those who need to unburden themselves of sins, real or contemplated (there are no 'imagined' sins on this Thread, only those that have been committed, and those that will be after a proper period of reflection on them), should go to Peng. Take that, you whiskey gargling lunatic. [ 05-08-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

(groan) I was rather hoping Peng wouldn't find this thread. I thought he might be too busy, as he leaves shortly to achieve peace in the Mideast...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mike the bike: Mortar ronuds are lighter than the same calibre of artillery rounds, although I don't have the figures on me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Mike is roughly right, and some actually knowledgeable person will be along shortly to give you the exact numbers, but calibre doesn't equate with shell weight. Artillery, by benefit of having more propellant 'punch' than a mortar, can loft a far heavier shell with more explosive matter over greater distances (in the process narrowing the muzzle width in the pursuit of velocity/distance and accuracy, while still retaining a heavier shell). Mortars, with far less propellant power, sacrifice the velocity/distance aspect and have to expand the diameter of the shell to achieve a significant payload, while still remaining lighter than the average artillery shell. Just a layman's explanation, and garnered totally from reading I've done elsewhere on this site.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV: I've been waiting a long time for that job description. Send picture of "teenage girls sort of figure". Willing to relocate from California, will waive girls for electricity. Respectfully, Mark IV<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmm, you're a bit too clever for the job, as it were. Clearly you fill some of the more easily met criteria, but you're not disturbing enough, and you're not at all folksy, and I can only applaud your 'Catholic school-girls in tartan skirts and white knee-socks' aberration. Peng would be a natural, except his Rasputin-esque shouting and raving don't quite play as 'wisdom'. We need someone as avuncular as Shaw, but less inclined to drift off into the sound of his own voice maundering on; as folksy as...well, as myself, but more deeply disturbed; as accepting and sympathetic as Lorak, but not as wholesome; as penetrating (Sit Down, Rexford!) as Mark IV, but weirder; as puckish as Hakku Ichiu, but more wholesome. Aye, the list of for and against goes on and on. Who, amongst all the Peng Challenge Thread, would the Knights of the Cesspool be able to confess all their sins to? We need some Jesuitical figure, to be sure. I mean, if it were as simple as lusting after teen-age girls, the difficulty would be eliminating applicants, not discovering them. This must be thought upon.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Do you wish to confess, my son?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Here, Berli, that simply won't do! We can get away with a lot, in the Peng Challenge Thread, but by no stretch of anyone's dispensation can we try and pass you off as a Father Confessor. Now, do me the favour of tripping off to the soddingly stupidly named 'What's Going On...' thread and make sure my 'challenge' is acceptably framed.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: As to the golden plates, it's a Mormon thing, so I'm told, and would involve far more theology to explain ... let alone believe ... than I'm capable of at present. Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, I hadn't any problems with that, I know about the whole 'golden plates' thing. It was his peculiar and oddly phrased 'trapped by Mormon Wives in training/teen hooker' thing that was confusing. I am, after all, well-versed in the weirdness of comparative mythologies. Did you know that Episcopalianism is a direct descendant of...well, best not go there. Many 'Pisco's have strong legal representation, and I simply can't handle another public dunking and vegetable pelting. Oh, and by the by, I've challenged young Fred #176 to a PBEM in the interests of teaching him the joys of taunting. I expect you lot to behave yourselves if he accepts. Er, by that I mean I expect you lot not to behave yourselves like you'd normally behave. [ 05-08-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fred: I gave the answer to 'ignore it' and was jumped by hordes of 'poolers'. That is what I call 'thin-skinned'. Fred<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Here, you lot, bugger off a bit, and leave the man alone. Is it any wonder he's after thinking we're a thin-skinned lot when he makes a simple statement and he's snarled at like he'd come out in favour of prohibition? Now, and to quote him: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fred: As I said before, nonsense. No, it does not waste bandwidth...but it wastes time. Ignore it,... true-blue grogs do not taunt, they play... Fred<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It strikes me that this has all been approached the wrong way. The Lord doesn't desire the destruction of the infidel, but rather his enlightenment. The man's an obvious player of the game, a lover of the game, a discusser of the game. He's just not a taunter, a banterer, a gentle jester over the playing of the game. On the Peng Challenge Thread we are not merely about the calumny, we are not merely about the satire, we are also about the sharing of humour. I propose that Fred and I (here, fella me lad, may I call you Fred? 'Cause I don't know what else to call you, as Mr. #176 sounds bloody daft) play a PBEM. Not, I may bloody well add, to 'resolve' anything. There's no rights nor wrongs here, just a different approach. But I simply cannot believe that the man wouldnae enjoy a wee bit o' jibe (as our own much abused OGSF might say). Come, Fred. Folk will tell you that I am amongst the chummiest of the Cesspoolers (as well as the most Senile), an honourable opponent, and, if we get right down to it, the actual instigator of the Peng Challenge Threads. Share with me a game, wherein I might show you the joys of badinage with an opponent. No 'your momma and other inappropriate gibberish' from me, sir, but taunting, jesting, and a true 'Peng Challenge Thread' experience, as it lies within my humble power to deliver. As I said, this is in no way aimed at proving some ultimate point. For the sake of the game, for the joy of the challenge, for the laughter at our own expense, what say you? [ 05-08-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Did anyone follow ANY of that? Barring the odd anti-Salt Lake / Utah / Mormon rant (as if I care, I and my people came from Texas) I assume there was a POINT to his diatribe? Unfortunately Bablefish doesn't cover Iskander to English so ... Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmm, no, read it a number of times, but he lost me around the time he began with the 'golden plates' business. Which sounded a bit intriguing, especially if it was some sort of thinly disguised personal revelation. Now that I think of it, do we have a Peng Challenge Thread Confessor? As time goes by and our numbers grow, we are going to need someone in this capacity. I'd say our best bet is someone slightly fatherly, but deeply disturbed, filled with a kind of folksy wisdom while lusting after teenage girls sort of figure. Shaw, stick a sign up, would you? Iskanders post struck me as a sort of 'suffering from the DTs and sliding into center field, thinking it's home plate' sort of monologue. There you go, Phan, I attempted a 'sport' reference. Should I reference your beloved female horses team? [ 05-07-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Seanachai, When are you gonna stop hiding behind Joe's skirt and play me you tree bark chewing, hippie boy? Jeff [ 05-07-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Although your taunts are always so limp that they are nearly indistinguishable from badly overcooked pasta, you benefit from both the 'Landsmann' dispensation, whereby I feel an obligation to play against a fellow Minnesotan, and the fact that I have actually met you personally, which filled me with such fear and loathing that no words of yours are even needed to provoke me to battle. Although I will be home a little late this evening, I will make an effort to send you out a set up.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: jsahndorf ... Sure wish I could claim that he was gamey though.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That's alright, Joe. Just call him 'Shandorf', as this labels him as even more loathsome, useless, and hateful than the epitaph 'gamey' <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Seanachai is desperately holding onto the only VL as well as his rapidly fading hope. The fog has created morale problems for us but I've decimated his armor and still have gobs left. He seems to believe that I don't have enough infantry to finish the job ... That is all, go back to your dreary existence and await another report from ... Sir Joe Shaw<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Shaw my little man, I think you have been misunderstanding my comments about your infantry. What I've been saying is that I don't believe you have the skill to use what little infantry you have left to any good effect. Also, I am not 'desperately' holding on to the single VL. I am, without any strain at all, holding it with little or no challenge from you. Or at least, no challenge since your repeated and disastrous attempts to flank the VL by attacking on my right. Apparently the wall of your dead vehicles and piled bodies has either become impenetrable, or you can no longer force your remaining troops through the area, as you've withdrawn; probably for a quick pep-talk, a few vain promises, and an attempt through some corridor not quite so heavily laden with your own dead. I look forward to your eventual return to battle. Exactly what are you promising them to get them to move forward again? Your resignation from command?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer: Dear Seanachai: Two requests -- 1. Where is this latest attack on the Peng thread on the main board? I can't find it, but do want to keep up with all efforts to exterminate this dark corner infested by non-too-swift cockroach wannabees. 2. Please change your sig line to drop that bold reference to "Lawyers". Every time I see it, I can't help but feel it is somehow aimed at me personally. I know that cannot be true as I have always treated you well. You are a touchy-feely guy, so I'm sure you will accommodate this kindly request.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It is entitled "What's going on...". Took me a while to find it as well, until it occurred to me that these sorts of threads are invariably given absolutely idiotic or indecipherably vague names. Signature needs to be changed to reflect the new home as well. Of course, the bolding never made it specific to you, Lawyer. Here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we have a wealth of lawyers to mock and deride, another cause for envy on the main Board. Many of those poor sods, when they wish to hand ****e to a lawyer, must either pay hefty, by the hour fees to an attorney who listens attentatively while noting their attacks on his billable hours sheet, or pass a note to a Peng Challenge Thread member to include in their next calumny of our own, various, in-house lawyers. Until I can arrange the new sig, I shall remove the bolding.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: ...Wow...but I am still a taken aback by armornut's story. Never mind. MrSpkr<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Nicely said, MrSpkr, and your thoughts do you credit. Enough of that, though. Everyone dog-pile the vile Texan! As for Armournut: good on 'e, lad.

It is with a right good will that I arrive to give my official sanction to this new incarnation of the Eternal Thread, started by our own The French. Let it mark a return to the values that made this Thread known across the web (many searches using 'Google' for all sorts of obscure things will turn up some version or another of the Peng Challenge Thread as a high percentage 'hit'), the subject of controversy across the Board, and hated and feared by the self-obsessed and humouless everywhere. And in that spirit, let me just say: Pawbroon! Stop hiding behind your public duty to the Thread and send me the next turn! I must find out if that Sherman dies or not. He should not be left forever, poised on the brink of eternity.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: You can lad a horse to Peng, but you can't make him jackass. Honestly, don't you think part of the appeal for some of you poolers is the fact that the clueless feel the need to rail against you every week or two?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well, it helps with my validation issues. But it's not personal enough. I need people to rail against me as an individual, pointing out how obtuse and pseudo-clever I am, or all the fun spills out. I mean, what's the point of me dancing around, taunting my fellows, doing sweeping and elaborate bows while waving my white plumed hat before me, if the best the whinegers can do is "Sniff. I don't go in there. It's not funny. I should know, because I pride myself on never reading any of it." I'd at least like a "I don't go in there because that bantering cad Seanachai posts in there, and he makes me feel all inadequate despite my almost encyclopedic knowledge of the minutia of combat and weaponry. And he's not funny. I should know, as I pride myself on never reading his posts." [ 05-07-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ] [ 05-07-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Oh, and I just finished reading the most recent 'This Peng ****e: My Country(whatever it might be) Didn't Fight a War Just So This Gibberish Could Be Posted Where I Don't Have to Read It' thread. It seems, lads and lassies, that our humour... well, it's questioned whether we even are capable of humour. I want the lot of you to prepare some knock-knock jokes and puns that we can toss in every 10 or 15 posts so that we can't be accused of being bereft of humour. Also, I think we need to track down whoever has member # 175 and encourage them to become a regular participant. This will give us a legitimacy that cannot be achieved by any other means (Oh, I know Berli's member # is astonishingly low, but you can't derive legitimacy by citing Satan as a member). Finally, I want to know why people who debate the continued existence of this Thread constantly ask if Peng is an actual, real person, but they never question if I actually exist. Oh, and I'm not sure I'm getting enough validation from my chosen community by attempting to display cleverness, which is even more sad than my rather craven need to achieve validity this way. I'd appreciate some oohs and aahs the next time I trot out some obscure bit of erudite idiocy, or I might just have to find some other group of wankers to posture in front of. I understand there are a number of gaming sites that are attempting to establish subcultures of needy individuals practicing obscure attempts at 'in-the-know' humour, and I think I should add that I'm being actively recruited. [ 05-07-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by harpooner: Yes, what a tenuous subject. Can someone (not Lawyer obviously) please come up with a better thread title then Welcome to Peng Challengeville ! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I had proposed some time ago that we go with something for the common man (Yes, Harpooner, not unlike yourself). Something in a film mode, Such as "A Fistful of Peng Challenges", followed by "For a Few Peng Challenges More", and perhaps culminating with "The Good, the Bad, and The Peng Challenge Thread". Then, of course, when people wish to question why the Peng Challenge Thread is allowed to continue, they could title their thread "The Unforgiven", or something similar. Now, I do have a request, and that is that we tone down some of the racial and ethnic remarks, desist from gay bashing, and pretty much give politics only a nod here and there. Several comments of late wouldn't be tolerated on the main Board (and quite rightly), and the veneer of 'humour' they wore here doesn't really excuse them, either. However, I'm all for taunting the Texans. Please carry on with that in a thorough-going and deliberate manner.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan: Sir Seanachai, That was simply unacceptable. Verbiosity is expected from such a personage who would carry your moniker.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not all topics, lad, permit of discursiveness. With some, you must simply hammer home the nail and have done. It is my keen ability to distinguish those which require a more lengthy, rambling treatment from those that deserve the bon mot that raises me above the beasts. Some never do aught in their discourse but meander, and others limit themselves only to the mot. The former rarely come to any good point, and the latter rarely achieve the mot juste. It is only those like myself who, through the proper balancing of all the elements, achieve breakthroughs of both pith and wit (pith Bauhaus, pith and for Gods love, stop that damned giggling).

A quick shake of the head to both Aitkin and Abbott. Your attempts at Pawbroonian prose do not capture the original at all well. David, be careful over the next few days, your attempt might have resulted in pulled groin muscles. Sorry, gentlemen, but your attempts sounded like the standard 'running Mensch's posts through Babelfish to translate them into English.' Quaint, but nothing like the original Pawbroonian. Though a despicable and harsh man, the cad Lawyer has correctly characterized Pawbroon's prose as unique. We will accept no substitutes. And, in tribute to his perceptions (however loathsome he might be in general), I will soon attempt something on the 'Pool in a style he might recognize. But for now, I must send a setup to the man desperately dog-paddling in the shallow end of the gene pool, Stuka.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: Tell me Sir JSDKLUFCCCICKFHH, just what is worn under the kilt? Mace btw I dinnae ken wha ya meen! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Generally speaking, a blue ribbon.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch: why thank ye... does that mean you'll be wanting another bowl Mr. Chuckles?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Art is not your forte, Mensch. Go with your strengths, and stick to pscyhotic babbling. Hard to believe there's that much animal tranquilizer in all of Germany, but there must be, as the quality of your posts never falls off. Also, where's my turn, Chef?