Seanachai

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Congratulations! (As you announced it in the Outer Board, I'll leave it at that)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I wondered about that, but a little thought made it clear. I don't know why we're congratulating Elvis. He didn't have to push a VW through a mailbox! But congratulations anyway, Elvis, and a Big Congratulations to the Wife!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ: Nah. works for me, so go get yourself a better computer.....or pay for me to have lessons!! Paying would be better........<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Correct your post, you toad. If you're going to hang around here, then be a bastard like a gentleman! That goes for the lot of you!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: Does this mean I can limerickize again? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: German wine?!! Arghhhhhhh. Tis called BEER love! Any of our esteemed (I use the term loosely) lawyers would care to file a divorce for me? Sheesh... German wine. Why not English cooks?!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What was it my friend told me? European Heaven: To be greeted by the English, fed by the French, driven around by the Germans, and Entertained by the Italians. European Hell: To be greeted by the French, fed by the English, driven around by the Italians, and entertained by the Germans. Of course, that perspective all depends on your country of origin.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: It's time to sing now, lads. Hit it, a-one ,two three In the pool Where I was born Lived a git Who sailed the cess... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> All is forgiven, Hiram. Come back and do your poetry. Nothing could be worse than Panzer Leader's attempts at lyrics. [ 06-11-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cubbies Phan: MrPeng, Your hate of mods sounds like a personal problem to me...Don't go insulting the artist for trying to make a good game better.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> 'Satire' is just another word you won't bother looking up the meaning of in a dictionary, isn't it, lad?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BilgeRat: Aaaarrgh! Cap'n tha bilge is particularly odious on this voyage and may have to be pumped. The ships surgeon says the health of the crew is at stake. Some reports from the scurvy dogs in the midshipmen's berths:<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmm. I have noted the sporadic, and usually tangentially weird intrusions of 'BilgeRat' into our precincts with bemused, if not always impressed, interest. This most recent post, while more of a 'recap' than a challenge, at least shows a grasp of some of our most recent problems. Because the Real World™ has made demands lately, I thought it fit that I absent myself (except for the odd, wry reminder of my presence) so that a new generation might have room to spring up and make their mark upon the Thread of threads, the One, True, Apostolic Peng Challenge Thread. Sadly, what passes for 'making their mark' on the Thread has been the equivalent of small dogs owned by aging spinsters pissing on the bathroom rug. 'Taunting' and 'Wit' have been rudely shoved aside by half-wits eager to carry on monologues with themselves in the guise of challenges, leading to a whole new class of Newcomer stupidity. Gits is hereby designated as 'Gods, Is That Stupid' for all those taunting challenged half-wits (or Twits, as we think of them) who keep flailing about in the Peng Challenge Thread, rolling in their own feces and splashing anyone standing nearby. Now, I don't wish to discourage our latest round of utterly, soddingly useless and preeminently subnormal Gits, but for those of our esteemed collective who are developing carpal tunnel syndrome scrolling past your endless display of how far you can dangle spit from your lower lip before you have to either draw it back in, or deposit it in you own lap, it would be nice if you'd think through a post or two, and try to hit upon something that might amuse us all, rather than continuing to display the begrimed finger you've just extracted from one of your nostrils as an example of your concept of humour. I'm not a judgemental man...no, wait, forget that; I'm an extremely judgemental man, and the judgement I'd pass on many recent posts is: Death. Ours or yours, it matters not, so long as it spares us any further 'call and response' idiocy that does nothing more than reveal a sad reversal of Darwin's theories, while flooding the Thread with the gibberings of those who've been working their way deeper and deeper into an evolutionary box canyon. "Sound Off Like You've Got a Pair" should be modified to include: "And Half a Goddamn Brain". Now then, carry on, I know even the worst of you are capable of better things. [ 06-07-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: Midnight! It’s time!!!! Happy birthday, Kitty Mace PS Do you realise how hard it is to find a good cyber stripper?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Happy Birthday, Kitty! My gods, Mace, hang a towel on that or somefink. Lord, make Panzer Leader look at this. That should shut him up about talking about nakedness and his betters.

Well, it took me some time to believe this could be our new home, given the rather unpromising 'starter' of this incarnation (Iskander is a Knight, isn't he?), but if Peng and Berli are posting here, this must be it. Pity it's such a dump. And why is that odd little man who has a fascination with Stalin's thingy still posting here?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: Phillies you phlipping phailure. It's all your phault these phreaking phools phell into our phine thread. You phorgot and phed the trolls, you phungus. Now we are phorced to listen to these phecal phreeloading pheatherbrained buphphoons phlirt like some sort oph phemale phreshman at her phirst phraternity phling! Phorget my challenge to Dame Shaw phor the moment. I challenge you, you ephpheminate bottom pheeder. Your overinphlated opinion oph yourselph needs to be taken down a bit, you phreakish phop. Send me a setup posthaste!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> My dear Squire. Never do this thing with 'ph' again. It is quite horrible, and not to be born. On second thought, never mangle language like this again. It's not a consonant thing, it's about the beauty of language itself. Phan has his own demons to answer to.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Um, Mr. SenileTea sir, I don't mean to impugn your elevated status, but you are aware that I, and anything I touch, create, approve, or even CHIME IN on, is immediately to be discarded as crap by all kaniggets, and all simpering squires? Now, jd went against the atatus quo, but are you sure you want to link hands with him and walk down that path together? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Here, what the...ARE YOU SPEAKING TO ME AGAIN YOU INSECT?! STUFF YOUR OTHER FOOT IN YOUR CAKE HOLE, YOU PILLOCK, SIT QUIETLY IN THE CORNER, AND CONTEMPLATE THE GLORY OF YOUR MAD FRENCH SPONSOR UNTIL YOU'RE SPOKEN TO, OR WE NEED YOU TO PLAY A GAME AGAINST SOMETHING EVEN MORE LOATHSOME AND HALF-WITTED THAN YOURSELF! As unlikely as that currently seems, history has shown us that inevitably something even more scaly than yourself will eventually shuffle in here, unzipped and drunk, and provide us with a useful purpose for you. [ 05-30-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Madmatt: Jesus, Could you have a picked a MORE LAME ASSED THREAD TITLE?!? My head is hurting from just reading the damn thing! Since no one else submitted anything I guess this one will do but PLEASE GOD KEEP HIM FROM COMING UP WITH ANOTHER TITLE!!! Madmatt<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Really, Madmatt? I'm surprised. I rather liked the new title. It has a wonderfully Classical feel to it. My only quibble would be that the hordes bearing down upon us to destroy us would be the Outerboards. I think I would have titled it "Go Tell BTS, Stranger, That Here, Obedient to Their Laws We Challenged Peng". Still, it's nice to see a sense of history showcased here. Also, Mensch didn't like it, so it must be alright, as Mensch is a tasteless psycho. Not that there's anything wrong with that. They are part of the plan too, I'm sure. Everyone filling their ecological nitch. Mensch is roughly equivalent with the cockroach, or the tapeworm, or some other part of nature's plan that simply isn't immediately apparent to the rest of us. And I don't say that just because he's cruelly lashing my troops in our current PBEM, which he is now threatening to drag out into a sort of 'eternal game'.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitty: I'm still looking for Stuka. Anyone? Anyone? Kitty<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bismallah! Kitty is back! Stuka and I are locked in a death struggle. Stuka promises to fly to Mace's side and give him a big, sloppy, open-mouthed kiss if I win. I think he's trying to motivate himself for victory. Dearest Mace: Over the next few weeks, while Stuka and I play out this QB, I ask that you brush and floss regularly, for Stuka's benefit. I'll give you enough warning of his impending loss so that you can avoid garlicy foods the night before.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iskander: OK, that's it. My folks, yes, even here in the loud, crude, nuclear-tipped 'States, taught me not to pick on women-folk, but...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And then a whole lot of ****e follows. You toad. You low-life, macro-brew swilling, squint-eyed dribble of pus. You slither on to the main stage, and make a challenge to 'the Fair Emma'. You're not worthy to buff her footware with your tongue, you spotty green-grey dweller under rocks. Although Chivalry is no longer necessary, it is not dead. I take up your challenge, you yet un-lanced, pus-filled boil on humanity's bottom. Send me a setup (have I mentioned that you're a toad?). I ask as my second Pawbroon, The French, to put you in your brain-mad, syphilitic place. This is a most formal challenge, you not-sufficiently-described-as-a-toad piece o' ****e. Should I fall, my second will take up this challenge. Your dangly bits have been assayed, and were found laughable in the face of your challenge of one of the Goddess's chosen. You utterly clueless toad. [ 05-25-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Oh thank God, we're back. May I point out, however, that these threads started by Mensch are usually awful. Wish we still had Mark IVs thread. No offense, Mensch, but these things are better handled by sane people.

Bless you, Mad One. My life had threatened to reassert itself. Now I can return to Peng, and ignore it. [ 05-23-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Blenheim: Seanachai, I am not saying that you Penguers are a bunch of chaotic-evil guys (AD&D reference) who try to demolish the forum. Usually you're quite well-behaved. I was just wondering if the the Peng horde would prefer to have a free place to go wild a roam arround...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The thought of many of the Peng Challenge Thread members allowed to roam free and wild fills me with unspeakable horror. Better they are kept together, in one place, under the eye of their keepers (they are secretly ruled, though they know it not). Otherwise, thank you for your vote of confidence.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan: David, please pardon my impudent tone...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now, now, David is in the right and trying to clean up an inadvertant mess. Please allow this thread to be locked/sink out of sight. Joe's is now the one, true, Peng Challenge Thread. I would take it as a personal favour if posting were to continue there and nowhere else.

I would like to add my voice to David's here. Please let's let this one sit until locked, and join Joe Shaw's Thread, which is already in progress. I would take it as a personal favour if the next post here were only Madmatt's announcing where the new home is.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Babra: What it needs is a smoother transition from one incarnation to the next. Too much disruption is bad for the forum as a whole. This is something that desperately needs to be addressed.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Apologies to all, and agreed. We have already acknowledged that changes will occur in transitions. This will be worked out completely before the next incarnation. Coming at a time when a number of us just happened to be on, it was not handled smoothly.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fred: David, no chance. They have one argument you can not beat: "Madmatt likes our humor". So we have to live with these nonsense threads (right now I count 3 or 4 PENG threads...) Fred<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sorry, new one needed to be started up, and we dropped the ball on the transition. All will be resolved shortly and it will revert to one incarnation of the eternal Peng Challenge Thread.

I will gladly post in YK2's thread. I think we will have to wait and see how Madmatt deals with the rather slipshod transition of the new incarnation. I expect some padlocks soon. We'll have to see who makes the cut.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV: Sorry old bean, the underemployed Mr. Slaw had you beaten by 11 minutes. I suggest that you have HIM beaten by 11 angry thugs. But it's only a suggestion.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I would have had the swine, but a coworker came by and demanded actual answers to stupid questions. Ah, well, I'll just wait for the Bald One to make his selection of successor.

Roight, then, now that Peng is Father Confessor to the Peng Challenge Thread, it is only fitting that we commemorate the fact in the subject line. Hopefully Peng will see his way clear to posting some of the more memorable confessions that are made to him as he assumes responsibility for the spiritual well-being of the participants here. As always, the rules are quite simple here in the Peng Challenge Thread. Don't waltz in and issue general challenges to all. Makes you look the annoying fool, and everyone will mock and degrade you. Pick someone specific (I know it's hard, there's so much to hate) and challenge them to combat. Make some attempt to make your posts witty, humorous, and well spoken. This is challenging for many of you, of course, but give a try. Excessive vulgarity, idiocy, and expletives not only reflect badly on you, but on the rest of us, and we will make our unhappiness known. Express yourself like you have high self-esteem and a good self-image. Be assertive, but not angry. Everyone likes a jolly good post filled with roistering and expressiveness and that stomps upon the terra. Please remember: Berli is evil, Peng is vicious, and I love a jolly good sing-song. Now bugger off, I've got important things to do, like chowing down half a dozen tranks in anticipation of the first wave or moronic drive by postings.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng: All BBS posters are of course welcome to come in and be treated like idiots. I need a drink Peng<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Spoken like a true Father Confessor! Berli's right, Peng, my merry drunken little man. Ever since the three of us first created the Universe and went into the desert to await the arrival of the human beings (and what an up and down experience that's been), it's been pretty much a given that 1 Storyteller/Myth Maker, combined with 1 Chaotic Spirit of Evil Existing Since the Dawn of Time, pretty much overrules 1 Drunken and Vitriolic Lunatic who constantly plays CM against a being he calls 'Elvis', hating everyone, and capable of both incredible acts of complete stupidity, combined with a rather pleasantly odd prose style that denigrates the very concept of humanity . Now, lads and lassies, Peng had the...how to describe it...ah, yes, absolute freaking idiocy to send me a turn recently chortling over the 'concept' that, despite the decision of Berli and myself, the clear choice of the Thread was that Mensch be Father Confessor. I ask you, dear folk, have you ever in all your puff heard such outright sodding foolishness? (I mean, outside of Mensch's posts, and we can't really hold him to blame for them, as a sad dependency on Rhino tranquillizer would affect anyone's world view). Proclaim it: Peng is the Thread's 'Father Confessor'. By any analysis, he is chosen, most fitted, and pre-destined. Point the First: Peng is an obvious disapproving drunkard: judgemental, opinionated, and vicious. As such, he is the perfect receptacle for what we pour out of our boots. Now, who could tell their failings and darkest and most loathsome personal acts to some enlightened and truly wonderful human being? Partake of this scenario: Dalai Lama: Allow the flowering of compassion, oh best beloved. I touch your consciousness, and take within me all that is most good in you. The beauty of the world is not unmade by anger, and the justice of love flows to fill the void left by the darkness of unrighteousness. Poster Entering the Peng Challenge Thread For the First Time: Er, that's...well, that's just brilliant, Dalai. But...umm...you know, there was this time...last week...when I...well...when I watched my sister undress through the window. Again. And I bought King Tigers and Jagdtigers in a PBEM. And told my opponent it was a Mechanized battle. Oh, and I once ate my neighbour's cat. Worse, I served it to him disguised as rabbit. Oh, and in a final act of darkness, I served it with a cheap 'blush' wine. The Result: The Dalai Lama, one of the Greatest Spiritual Leaders of Our Time, resolves to never accept a dinner invitation from you again unless it's BYOB. He also insists on extensive rules and definitions before your next PBEM. He uses a cell phone to check on the status of his pets. Your shame is complete. You pray to St. Bauhaus. The Result Had You Confessed to Peng: He describes to you in extensive detail the women he thinks are 'hot'. He speculates about what they might be like in bed. Most of them are people you've never heard of. He pulls out a stack of worn polaroids of women, most of them naked and taken unawares. One of them turns out to actually be your sister. He smears barbecue sauce on one of Elvis's cats in a speculative manner. During his diatribe he keeps pressing a variety of ales and cheap whiskeys on you. Point the Second: Peng does not wish to be the Confessor of the Peng Challenge Thread. Well, Duh! Anyone who wanted to hear the confessions of the Cesspoolers is so bloody sick that if they were hung on a cross next to (members of the main Board, names edited out to preserve a sense of propriety and avoid actual personal attacks), you'd be hard pressed to determine who you wanted to die first. Only tell your sins to people who either don't give a damn, or who recoil in horror at the very idea. They're at least being honest with you. As has been stated before: no one who wants the job can be trusted to perform it. Point Final: Peng despises and loathes the Peng Challenge Threads. He has repeatedly begged, threatened, and offered me bribes to kill off the Peng Threads. It is only fitting that the man not only continue to suffer under their existence, but that he be forced to deal with the members' rather disturbing spiritual lives. I might have taken a more merciful view if the useless sod wasn't currently about to defeat me in our latest PBEM.