Seanachai

Sometimes, you can't tell the players without a score card. What a very strange sports reference for me to make. You're not evil, lad. You're just a halfwit. And you edited your most egregious post, and that shows that you've got a good heart, and half a brain. We can probably work with that. You need to post more slowly, listen more, and sing more, lad. Everyone likes a jolly sing-song. I can't hear you singing, you little Focker!

Hmm, just got more fully caught up. Well, we shall mend as we may. There has always been a strong, democratic, even 'iconoclastic' streak in the Peng Challenge Thread. Sometimes, of course, we trip over it while going out for a slash... I think there are grounds here for an Olde One amendment on our usual practices. A woman, coming into the 'Pool, need not have an email address in her profile. For one thing, the profile is not 'restricted' to the 'Pool. Once in, it's there for every halfwit and cyberstalker to see. I see no reasonable objection to withholding such info. I know that Joe has not required it in this case out of any lack of concern over issues of personal comfort, but rather as the best determinant if some sort of 'scam' is being run. Such issues are easily resolved. Let anyone who does not wish to immediately post there email address, for whatever reason, reveal it to the Olde Ones or one of the Ladies of the 'Pool. Then it is on file, yet not publicly posted or available. The concerned party can then go about taunting, abusing, and posting with gusto, issuing games to those they are comfortable with, and so extending their email address only to opponents that they are comfortable with. Now, you've probably already seen a lot of posting on the Outer Boards about 'the Peng lot' swarming out at the idea that a woman is posting on the Forum. This is pitiable, simply pitiable, and I am quite serious here. One of the things that has always deeply disappointed me about the Forum, in general, is that the few times I've seen woman openly posting, they were quickly driven away by the reception they received. I decided, early on, that I would always work to see that any woman who wanted to post in the Forum would be welcome here in the Peng Challenge Thread, and be subjected as little as possible to the sort of wankerism we've recently seen on the Outer Boards. Even when the behaviour is intended humourously, in an attempt to 'defuse' a woman's joining the Forum, the sheer volume and overwhelming idiocy of even 'welcoming' posters is beyond belief. So lets show the Outer Boards the true difference between themselves, and us. It's not merely that we're scary, vile, 'colourful' individuals without the ethical compass that God gave a stoat. It's not merely that we're a cliqueish, clannish lot of posturing fools who lord it over the lesser mortals who shamble through the Outer Boards, constantly posting that the Peng Challenge is an affront to human dignity, and should be immediately closed down because we wouldn't have them as a member. No, what sets us off from the great unwashed, the bleating herds of Outer Boarders whose frustrated little sense of self-importance can't stand the fact that here, 'all men are wolves to other men' (actually quite a good thread on the Outer Board, there), and that no matter how much they know about WWII, and how much they wish to see all participation limited to 'weighty, significant, and contributory threads', is the fact that we hold up to them a mirror that they do not wish to look into. We are a satire on them, gentlemen and ladies. We are the funhouse mirror that distorts their concerns with Groggly matters, or tournaments and ladders, or their own, fragile little egos, affronted by the utter pointlessness of the Peng Challenge Thread. We are, in a word, their worst nightmare: Clowns with a brain. So, let us show yet this other difference between ourselves and the often stuffy self-importance of the Outer Boards, even the, gasp Groggly sanctum of the regular Combat Mission Forum (from which we have never been removed, you will notice), and welcome women into our ranks. Let us make them welcome, reassure them, and treat them as though they have arrived into their natural homeland on the Thread. Let us make them want to say: Ich Bin Cesspooler! And let us also take this moment to reaffirm what that means to the rest of us. Let us make some effort to post something humourous and worth reading. Let us mock, by the delight we take in our little circle of Cess, the stuffy posturings of the Outer Boarders. Let us remember always, to tease and belittle fools, and to fill the Mavens of 'What the Forum is Really All About' with wrath, because we will insist on being ourselves. We are, ultimately, the final satire on the Forum. Lately, the posting in the Cesspool has been so torpid and dull that many of us have been posting our joy in taunt, satire and abuse on the General Forum. That way lies madness. That way will see the Mother Beautiful Thread moved to the General Forum. Let us recapture the low and boggy ground at the feet of the Combat Mission Forum. Let us build a castle, there, worthy of Peng. And when that castle falls over and sinks in the mud, let us build another on top of it, as we have been doing these many, many months, until we have built the strongest castle in all these islands. Remember, call another Cesspooler a peckerhead, and you've barely annoyed him for a second. Go on about his bathroom habits, and you've only bored everyone else for another five seconds. But to post the delights of literature, poetry, true taunts, well thought out abuse; to make obscure references and insult and laugh at Outer Boarders, to welcome in women, sneer at self-important little wannabes, and raise your voices, united in the joy of hating each other in a jolly sing-song... That, lads, is what the Peng Challenge is all about! And God have mercy on your useless little slacker souls if you forget it. Dalem: Come Home. The Peng Challenge Thread will need all its true sons and daughters in the days to come. Raise up your voices! Sing, sing, you earless dog's bums! Sing so that the Outer Boards can hear your song, and let them tremble! [ August 06, 2002, 11:16 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Ok, I thought about it... No</font>

Quite a few of the lads, especially here on the Outer Boards, play little jokes on themselves by dressing up and posing as women, just to see what their reaction will be to themselves. I am a non-judgemental sort of fellow, though, and glad to see so many of them discovering the truth about themselves.

I am.</font>

None of your sauce, Shaw! The Cesspool stands One Hundred Percent behind anyone wanting to show up here and abuse Grog Dorosh. I merely let the poster know there was a forum for that sort of thing.

You are a low fellow. And I agree with MrSpkr. This is beneath you.

If you ask nicely, I'm sure she'll sing the vegemite song for you. If you're extremely fortunate, you'll be hit by a bus before you read the post. If there really is an afterlife, justice, and a cosmic sense of humour, you'll spend eternity eating vegemite.

Stop by the Peng Challenge Thread and you can call him pretty much anything you want, with the cheers of the denizens echoing in your ears. If you run short of things to call him, others there will be happy to make suggestions. We know Dorosh quite well, so we can even tailor insults to his known dysfunctions. Welcome aboard. Trust no one. Well, except probably Persephone.

Well tell me more, tell me more, tell me more I mean, was he a heavy doper or was he just a loser? He was a friend of yours...

A lovely indictment of Grog Dorosh. Where's my turn, you sodding pillock?!

Christ, Modders! How many times can you just look away? It's like some sort of horrible cross between a pan-handling drunk and a self-admitted sex addicted fetishist. We have a huge Treatment Industry in this State for people who aren't as pitiable as the average CM Modder...

Dunno, Joe. I mean, there's no email address, so there's no good way to check if this 'Roxy' is one of the Fair Ones or not, or just some useless git having another go at the Forum folk. And Dorosh's actions are highly suspect, even though he's an annoying, brainless little Canadian halfwit, and mustering up any kind of ploy is almost beyond him... So, it could go either way. This could be a for real thread, or some sort of bait thread. All I know is, Grog Dorosh is giving me the red-arse, and I feel Real Life™ is giving me a bit of leeway, lately, and I might need to do a Topic on him... (edited to abuse Dorosh is a less restrained manner) [ August 05, 2002, 11:57 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Chick?! Chick?!! Dorosh, you sad, sorry pillock. You wart. You genetic short-changing of an evolutionary dead-end. NO ONE who wishes to post in the Peng Challenge Thread will so indulge. I know you post in humour, but there are limits. We of the Peng Challenge do not go down this road. Amend your ways. I am minutes away from posting a topic on you.

Wonderfully and Britishly incomprehensible to the layman, and as close as we're likely to get to his admittance of decided Yorkshire tendencies, practiced in the privacy of his own burrow. Alright, then, Yeknod, Squire it is, as long as he practices more restraint regarding posting about his own and other people's bums.

I see Treeburst has just exploded on the Forum, and the 'Titans' tournament seems to be defunct. Probably inevitable. Whenever one of the Tournaments amongst the 'competetive' gets going, we're all subjected to (a lot less than the organizers like Treeburst, of course), a lot of urine flinging. As a poor to middlin' player, the whole spectacle of people spending weeks, if not months, negotiating the 'appropriate conditions' under which a game might be 'considered' for play, is almost surreal. Not to mention the opportunity for 'Prima Donna' behaviour, manipulation, and rigging. It's a bloody shame, really. Obviously no one wants to face a competetive game that allows someone the leeway to set up some sort of gamey, 'I've used this bizarre ploy dozens of times to overcome my opponents' superiour tatical abilities and smash through to a clown win' sort of stituation, but the thought of facing a negotiated 'My rigging is better than your rigging' sort of situation is almost equally objectionable. Ah, the Mother Beautiful Thread, where people play for joy in the Game, and the jolly fun to be had in abusing, taunting, lying about, defaming, and yet, generally, respecting one's opponent. After having witnessed more than one 'tournament' hit the skids of 'Victor's Ego Syndrome' (and that only through second hand, veiled comments on the Forum), I would raise this point with all the Outer Boarders: Generally speaking, here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we play to play. I have seen a more honest 'love of the game' and 'competing for the joy of playing' attitude here than what seems to the norm on the Ladder boards and in the Tournaments. I have, almost universally, found my opponents to be a flock of egregious halfwits who were courteous and pleasant in their emails, forthcoming about the game, minimally defensive about their own mistakes, and less than patronizing about their very best moves. Oh, there have been exceptions, but not many. And, when either of us were a bit on the gloating or whinging side, it was pretty much a mutually practiced, humourously performed, and agreed upon thing. So, Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you this toast, and this standard to bear: To the Peng Challenge Thread, the Mother Beautiful Thread, the Cesspool! Where disgrace, ill-repute, and debasement are worn upon the sleeve, and honour strikes right to the bone! Oi, Oi, Oi! On a completely unrelated note, let me say here what our own, lowly regarded and much revered MrPeng would not say on his own: In his 'Cesspoolers' game against Fionn Kelly, Peng achieved a draw. There were, of course, mumblings about 'not taking the game seriously', and 'I thought it was only Peng', and such. Let it be scribed next to the name of Fionn Kelly, a Knight Champion of the Peng Challenge Thread: Failed to Win Against Peng

Not until the North Country git admits he's a Geordie. I don't care if he isn't a sodding Yorkshireman, I want to hear him proclaim for all the world that he's a Geordie. It's humiliation like that that makes this Forum great...

Goodness, Geier, it suddenly clicked. The Thread title is from that Neil Young song, isn't it?

You lot are lucky Persephone was around when he began to post. His original list as he discussed it with me was much, much longer. [ August 02, 2002, 05:06 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

A Messianic Hug of truly ursine proportions to each and every member of the BFC team, and the blessings of Great Fred upon you all.

My understanding is if you read the R's backwards, you can hear someone telling you that Paul is dead...

There's something rather unspeakably disgusting about a man who fondles wildlife that he does not, in fact, like. Although it's also somewhat appropriate. After all, would you subject another species to humiliation and horror if you actually liked it?

Not that theres anything wrong with that.</font>

Not until we do. Which raises the question: When will we start seeing the Combat Mission Forum Memorials?

You know, if you run it through a 'Broad Scots' competent Babblefish, OGSF's stuff is rather harsh and thorough. Oh, he occasionally loses sight of 'duty' and strays excessively into the scatalogical, but a lot of it is rather a poetic "I'm so glad to see you again, excuse me while I stomp on your head and call you a roight bastard" sort of posting. [ July 30, 2002, 01:51 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]