Seanachai

ÜberGnome, could you give us another jolly singsong? Persephone</font>

Well, in point of fact, lad, I've probably really only started 'one' thread, but it's paid great dividends in terms of a response. We've pretty much lost track of the number of generated responses, but I believe, taken in their entirety, they probably crest the 10,000 post mark. Certainly the first two, that had my name on them specifically as 'author', broke 5,000 posts. Let me know when you want to swap anecdotes about your posting history. But that's neither here nor there. I found your original claim 'intriguing', but it's presentation so useless as to make it almost valueless. You weren't interested in 'debating' the relative values of PBEM or TCP/IP play; you were interested in claiming that yours was 'bigger', and that by virtue of what style of play you favoured. You weren't a champion of TCP/IP play, you were a champion of 'mine's bigger because I play TCP/IP'. Rather sad, actually. Kudos to all those TCP/IP players who overlooked your rather needy insistence to debate the question more fully, including that annoying swine, Elvis (we know that you would spread your filthy habits, from TCP/IP to 'no numbering of turns' to the entire community if you had your way, Elvis). Of course, you might primarily be a champion of 'stirring the pot, and then running away', as you've already admitted, and since confirmed by saying you're leaving the thread you started. Also, you keep saying that you 'run with the big dogs' on one of those ladder threads. Good for you, lad. A poodle can run with a rottweiler, after all, as long as the rottweiler permits it. As for PBEMers having all the time in the world to get out the calipers, consult the collected wisdom of the German High Command in a Google search, and make a phone call to their favourite Combat Mission Tactical Guru, as opposed to the lightning reflex response and the steely-eyed tactical fortitude of those TCP/IP fighter pilots, that's all a gross and useless over-simplification of how 'real' people play. In fact, I'd thought the whole issue would be interesting to play out, except for four basic points: 2) Your taunt to me was pitiable, and uninformed. It would be very awkward for me to accept a game against someone with so little panache to support it. A) You clearly have the aggression and energy to stir up trouble, but not the personal fortitude or sense of honour to maintain or defend your position. Someone who overturns a garbage can and then runs off to tell his friends about it is rather sad, don't you think? &) Like a teenage vandal (and not a particularly interesting one), you seem completely incapable of writing or formatting correct English, although you're clearly a native speaker. I find the phenomenon of attempting to mask educational and personal inadequacies by the smokescreen of 'internet useage' insupportable. If you can't use English correctly, then learn. If you won't use it correctly because you can't be bothered, then sod off. Final) Your whole argument is based less on a considered and defensible position, than a desire to drop trou and dance around pointing at yourself. We are all amazed at your supposed 'CM Prowess'. But that doesn't mean most of us are all that intrigued by your need to do so. [ August 12, 2002, 01:50 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Where the hell did you just send me, you bizarre little Canadian git? Are those Japanese cats, or hamsters? I'm glad I asked people to vote for killing you, I am...

Be quiet. We all know what you're really talking about, and you no more have a 'lady' than cats have an enlightened sense of morality and selfless public service.

Wait, this is Terence? You were here before, weren't you, and then you buggered off for no apparent reason? Ah, I've got it now. As for my perceived 'mellowing', lad, you've clearly no more concept of satire than a cat does of the intricacies of a doorknob (both of which are your intellectual superiour, by the way, although the doorknob is working hard for the privilege of saying so, and only achieving it by actually being useful). As for anything else that's happened lately, I'm very tired. I'm receiving upsetting emails, including two Thread stalwarts arguing back and forth over Roxy, innumerable demands to know what the hell's going on (most of these are from our government here in America, and have nothing to do with the Combat Mission Forum, but apparently a great deal to do with 'hot button' keyword filtering, which has earned me an 'unreliable' rating, since I don't seem likely to give George W. a big wet kiss anytime in the near future, although I'd be more than happy to pull Dick Cheney's pants down around his ankles and run him down main street, flogging his aging buttocks with a cactus leaf flail... oops, I think I've just added another 3 hits to my 'terrorist supporter rating'...er, make that '4'). And, finally, there is the crushing pressure of 'knowing and keeping a secret'. It's very strange for me, because I keep wanting to come into the Peng Challenge Thread and tell people: 'Jesus Christ! Do you know who's posting in the Cesspool?!', and realizing that that is precisely what I cannot do. Thank all the gods that I can tell my friends in town, who don't give a rip about the Peng Challenge Thread, although I am now getting more than the usual 'glazed look and pained acceptance that he's going on about that damn 'Peng' thing again', as people say: "No sh*t? They're posting in that stupid Wargame forum? That's, like, just bizarre!" [ August 12, 2002, 12:04 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

The unkempt old man moves quietly to the podium, and stares out with a half-smile over the gathered lackwits I come before you today, to share this knowledge: All that is necessary for Idiocy to triumph, is for good men and women to post the same.* When fools show up with their little grudges against the Thread, the response, my friends, is to ignore them. Oh, we can wonder at why their sense of righteous indignation has kicked in, or why given that the Peng Challenge Thread isn't going to be dismissed, they still feel the need to show up and protest it. Mostly, we never know. They come in, and are abusive, and clearly angry, but can no more explain themselves than a dog can explain to you why it barks at a bus. What are the roots of posts like Terence's? The Ethnocentrist "I hate your tribe. I do not understand nor approve of your practices." This Forum is dedicated to Combat Mission, goddamnit. It doesn't matter that I, personally, have never had more than a stale cup of urine to contribute, I will be pissed off and show my teeth to the death over the idea that this Forum shouldn't have to put up with anything that I don't want to participate in, that might be simply for fun, and that irritates me personally. The Inquisition would not have been possible without informants who felt this way about Jews and Muslims who had embraced Christianity. The Elitist "You think you're so special. Well you're not. It's people like Me that are what this Forum is all about. Not you. You people are just a bunch of annoying clowns. I'm what's important. Or, er, at least, what I think is important is what this Forum is all about. It must be, because it's what I think. Always determined to make sure that the people they know in their hearts should be 'chosen last' in team sports will always be chosen last, and determined to make sure they know why they should be chosen last. The Disenfranchised That goddamn Peng Thread is full of arseholes! I went by there and tried to post and everyone gave me a bunch of ****! I don't know why BFC lets that waste of bandwidth go on! You know, all the people who post there are just a bunch of know-nothing ****heads anyways. If they knew anything, they'd be posting on the regular forum. I mean, I'm as incapable of following a joke as the next person, and no one blew me kisses! What the hell's that all about?! Useless bastards. We feel their pain. They make sure that we feel their pain. They make sure that they're as big a pain as possible, so that we feel their pain. Perhaps if we offered them a lollipop and stroked their hair until the feeling of not belonging went away? The Reprisalist People were going on and on about something that really interested me the other day, and one of those arseholes from that Peng thing came in and made a joke. It doesn't matter that half of us was talking out of our bums, I was really into that whole thread, and even the really stupid stuff made me feel connected, and then some guy made a joke about it all. Well if I had that guy here I'd bunch the bastard right in the face. You know, I'm gonna go over to that Peng Thread right now and see how they like it when I post the same dumbass stuff in their thread. Unfortunately, they cannot salt the earth in the Peng Challenge Thread. And the viritual nature of the Forum doesn't permit them to round up everyone in the village and put them to death. If only the Peng Challenge Thread was like Yugoslavia... Now, fellow villagers. When someone shows up here, riding crop in hand, with dueling scars on their cheeks and anger in their eyes, and their armband conveniently left at home in order to avoid any questions about their motivation, it is best to just ignore them. Don't make their day or ours any worse by arguing with them. Smile at them, and offer them a bit of our black, heavy peasant bread, and a swig of vodka. Once they see that we're harmless, they'll find someone else to suppress.

Do you tailgate a lot in traffic, and flip-off people who drive more slowly than you do? I notice that 'pot-stirrers' seem to have some serious issues about their virility. It seems that if they can get people arguing about 'who's the best player', they can shut down the voices in their head asking them to get the tape measure out again and try measuring it from a slightly different angle. I'm after thinking you spend too much time worrying that yours isn't big enough.

Never fear, Goanna. I'm used to suffering the envy and spite of my inferiors. I feel your pain at being assigned a lower ranking of importance than myself, although nothing else is conceivable, of course.

Ladies says that I look good when I show my teeth, though.</font>

You'd have to burn the stick. The 'coffee' you'd need to keep you awake during this round is called 'Methedrine'.

Number 3, here, of course. Well ahead of the Lizard King, as is right and proper, and following Peng, as is seemly. Oh, and after Geier, but if I hadn't already read Bulgakov, and he'd been responsible for getting me to read it, I'd move him to the head of the list as well.

Well, you're just working on the image. I've got an 18 inch tall, evil, satanic pink ceramic piggy bank dressed in a golf outfit sitting in my living room. Funny thing is, you don't even really 'see' it any more, after a while. I've got to get friends to stop giving me every hideous thing in the Multiverse.

If there is a God, then she'll leave you and run off with the Crocodile Hunter, and we'll write a song about it, and every single day we will sing the song of how Boo Radley's wife ran of with the Crocodile Hunter... I'm all tingly just thinking about it.

Send Grog Dorosh the setup. The place could do with a treacherous, deceiving Lady in Waiting. Hell, we were just about to send to central casting for one!

I didn't jump on you, I hit you with a stick! Now, drag the miscreant down to the ducking pond to see if he floats or sinks!

Now, now, everyone! Let's all calm down and carry on. The whole 'Roxy' situation has been dealt with. You know, I think it must be very difficult for a famous and beautiful celebrity to have a normal life, and the ability to go somewhere and be anonymous and 'just one of the people' must be almost overwhelmingly appealing. I don't think there's any 'real' deception involved when someone simply wishes to remain 'just folks', and not deal with the 'WOW! SO AND SO IS POSTING IN THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD!' furor. I know that I'm grateful to Roxy for giving me the whole truth, and honoured by the trust it implies.

Apology recieved and accepted. Your deception makes perfect sense to me Roxy, and as far as I'm concerned, the folks you are e-mailing are the only ones who need know the details</font>

Well, partly that, and partly because we all, simply, really really like hitting you with a stick. Don't we? I know I do!

No, not everyone likes a jolly sing-song. In fact, damned few of us like a jolly sing-song. Most of us would, indeed, be overjoyed if you would not give us a jolly sing-song ever again</font>

Read every word I wrote, or I'll find you and torture and suborn your pets until they'll willingly savage you at my merest whim. You are not mighty enough to withstand my displeasure. And your little dog, too.

The only hug anyone here is going to get is when my hands hug their throat.</font>

Catches on fast doesn't she. Admirable, quite admirable.</font>

It's probably mere folklore, but try oysters. They're supposed to put lead in your pencil. Not that you've anyone to write to, of course...

On top of old SEAN-A-CHAI All covered with prose, There lay my poor CELL-PHOOOOOOOONNNE Inside of his nose... Oh my gods, the pain... whimper [ August 06, 2002, 11:30 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Bah! Persephone's playing me even as we speak. Or gibber, lately. She's doing bloody well, too. And it can't be Berli's help, because I always beat Berli like a gong. That's Gods hand there, that is. In any case, yes, the Olde Ones are the proper place to determine status. Not because we're anything less than an anarchic collection of egos, riven and rent by dissension, and taking as our very banner the free right of the individual to act like a complete and bloody twit. No, it's best determined by the Olde Ones because that's what we bloody well do, and if you don't like it we'll be happy to staple fleece all over your worthless carcass before Mace takes you for a drive to have a picnic with the Old Firm. Roxy, who has been most righteously forthcoming, is Squire to Lady Persephone. Alright, 'squire' is a quasi-masculine term, but unless she prefers 'Lady in Waiting', it's as good as any other. Persephone is best suited to fill her in on who's who, what's what, and what a lot of senseless drivel most of you are. Oh, and because Persephone is quite nice and forgiving, and actually likes most of you, she's also the most forgiving source of info that Roxy could encounter.