bauhaus

Boriarty, I stand corrected....I was taking the high road and forgot the sex shop angle. Only Berli is a journalist, I am a newspapermanthingymabobbie. Quick, my whisky please. As for you Joanna, our dear sweet queenie of a pommie. I hope the recovery from your surgery is proceeding swimmingly. Soon nobody will be able to see your scar and you'll be able to wear that thong without the threat of your manly bulge to get in the way. Like that was a problem before, not! Now the only concern you'll have is when to wax and what to wax. That, and what shade of eye-liner best goes with your favorite strap-on (and I'm not talking dress). But I do look forward to your return so we may soon resume the battle of the nipples. So, are you able to sit for long periods (not that you'll ever have to worry about one of those) of time, or do you still have a wee bit of healing left. Weeny roast any one?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2: Ohhhhhhhhh does this mean I get to taunt you now? Now where did I put those pics <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Would that be the pics of Pushbroom doing to himself what dogs do on a hourly basis because they can? Or something like that. blah blah blah.

And now for this commercial interruption..........Ever feel constipated? Speaking of constipated, Marlow, before you go attacking a profession, such as journalists, be careful. There may be more than one of us around. There are actually a few of us trolling the Pool. And myself, Moriarty and Berli are in that category. So now you better watch your back. But lawyers, have fun stereotyping them all you want. Me, I need to drink now and go make up a story for tomorrow's paper. To the Newbies.........get used to it. To the Aussies...........see Berli. To Gerbiljoy, Seanapee.......ummmm where is my set up and turn. Just cause you're facing the second worse loss of your life Seanapee, doesn't mean you get to quit playing. Now, if you've already sent said files......never mind. To Stuka..........how long do you need to send me a set up. Let's get it going you simpleton. Death awaits.......though it's probably mine. To Berli........everything you said is true. To Moriarty..........cheater.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: *in your best Aussie accent* Roight... It's Elijah Meeks, PENGuin hunter, here in Antartica with a brief... SIT DOWN BAUHAUS! Bugger!!! Bauhaus, you gotta put your pants back on before you sit down around here! It's so buggerin' cold that you'll freeze your rear end to the glacier like ya just done! Don't try to stand or your rip your cheeks roight off, and bring all those hungry Antartican PENGtacular PENGuin buggers swarming around here... you know they really go for the fresh meat and the smell o' blood brings the buggers from moiles around... now where was I? Roight, my report on my trip... Bugger! it's cold down here... but we're down here on an NSA expedition hunting for the rare PENGtacular PENGuin... Huh? no, I don't roightly know what the NSA would want with a buggering little PENGuin... but the PENGtacular PENGuin is a species of PENGuin rarely seen outside this frigid land... did I mention that it is buggering cold down here??? an' I shouldn't be wandering around down here in my aussie hat, shorts and short sleeves. This weather might make me ill with some rare deadly polar disease cause its so buggering cold down here... oh well, where was I? Roight, the PENGtacular PENGuin... well, it turns out that there are only two places in the world where this little bugger lives. Either roight here in Antartica (bugger its cold here), or in another mythical place called the Cesspool. "What the bugger is that?" you're asking... Well, it's a place I been that is so buggering foul and wretched, what with critters crawling around on the walls and floor, deadly critters I might add, and swimming that you can barely move without stepping on one of the little buggers... Vicious little buggers they are that'll nip your dangly bits in a minute... Roight, well we 'aven't seen the PENGtacular PENGuin round the 'pool for quite some time. Rumor had it that the little bugger fled the Cesspool and went to the ultimate downunder. So I'm here to find him... the weather hasn't cooperated yet, it's been so buggerin' bad that you wouldn't see a PENGuin if it was roight there in front of yuh! Buggers are so short you have to squat down... *a bloodcurdling scream rips the air* Gah, Bauhaus, I told you to keep seated... now I've got to bug out before those nasty little buggers get here... I'll report more later next week... Meeks owt. [This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 11-17-2000).] [This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 11-17-2000).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I've been called spineless before, but never cheekless.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: *Cautious sniff* Hmm, smells a bit like KY love jelly, no wonder you keep wanting to stand up..... Botty a little tender is it? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well if you'd take your nose out of my arse and quit the sniffing, maybe I wouldn't have to lube it up and my "botty" could heal on it's own time. Now, think you could put your nose elsewhere?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2: *cough* for fear of repeating myself see my earlier post, And listen up fatboy, "there will be no more pies for you" Bauhaus: "I'm not Fat, I'm big boned..... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'm sorry, but I am but a simple male. I'm not genetically trained to read things more than once.....or ask for directions when lost. But if YK2 and Kitty do indeed fight, does that make for a ..........ummm.....dare I say......a Cat Fight? O.K. ladies, let's become sexist here for a second (sorry, that male thing again)......Oil down your tanks and let's prepare for battle. Everyone chant now....Fight, Fight , Fight........

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2: What the Hell.......... I don't log for a few days and you lot completely *flip* has someone been dishing out speed or crack? Now listen up you poor excuses for manhood, If anyone is going to have a Lordship bestowed upon them then I DEMAND to have my right as the "LADY OF THE CESSPOOL" made official, and if anyone dares step out of line then they will feel the wrath of my whip, some of you may already know the whip in question and even bare the scars, so be warned, I want no objections, no moaning minnies, no " but she can't be she's a female" GOD DAMN it I may be female (100%) at that, but I play hard, Sooooooooo any objections????????? Let me hear them.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Umm, you need to earn your membership. Peng was not created over night. You'll get your title when I'm named the "Thingy of the Pool." Until then, get in the kitchen and bake me a pie.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus: Sit down Bauhaus!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: Are you vieing for title of Lord of Mount Peng, or Lord of Loch Peng? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> HeHeHeHe, you said Mount Peng.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: I fear that of recent times I have sunk so low into the mire of the 'pool that I was forced to rely on my fascinating ability to breath through my ears in order to avoid drowning. (Sit Down Kitty!) Woops, hard habit to kick, hehe. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Puka, you little nugget! How dare you! Do you know that there is only Knight that can be told to sit down! And it wouldn't be a simple squire known as Kitty. So I ask you to refrain, or I shall be forced to challenge you to a map designed by fellow Illinoisians Rune or Berlickedabigone. So I fart in your general direction. Be gone with you now!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: You know, over the last few weeks, I'm starting to be of the opinion that Bauhaus has quite rehabilitated himself, especially in light of some of the postings by our newer lads. Fixation with 'thingies' seems to have flown from Bauhaus, and found new places to roost. Hard to say which is the most egregious of posters, but the front runners are PeterNZer(certainly don't know why, a kiwi isn't particularly suggestive of anything, actually), Shandorf, and Stuka. What do the rest of you think as to which of these three is most caught up with their genitalia? Then Bauhaus, who no longer leaps up, may be excused from the remain seated remarks, and they can be more profitably applied to the currently dysfunctional. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hi, my name is Bauhaus and I haven't said "thingy" in........oh geez, I just said it. Somebody help, quick get me my thingy...I mean sponsor. Talk about falling off the thingy....ummm, I mean wagon.

------------------ And NO Bauhaus I didn't say SELF EXPLORATORY. I bow before you. The honor of actually being a sig. I'd like to thank the academy........... [This message has been edited by bauhaus (edited 11-10-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Yes.... and stay on your side of the pool and remember to mind my 3 foot personal growth space (Sit down, Bauhaus!). Jeff <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You wish!!!!! I remember when I had my first drink too.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rune: Bauhaus, You silly git. You think Berli's creations are evil? Not even close. I have tested scenarios that would make your skin crawl, I have created scenarios to make mortals run and hide under the bed. Berli has seen parts of my evil creation...even he is in awe. So, do not challenge me with a mere toy scenario...my time is occupied with tcp/ip. However, turning to the dark side is a beginning..and you are to be rewarded. Hence, you will test [iF your computer is fast enough] my latest creation of pure evil. Let me know the speed of your computer, and if you are willing to fight for the zulus at Rourke's drift...err.....the American's at Fort du Roule. Now, to bring fear into everyone's heart...my next piece of work is truely truely evil. I have taken the movie we love to hate, Battle of the Bulge, and I will re-create the famous last tank battle. Yes, the one in the desert between M48s as King Tigers and M24 Chaffees as American Medium tanks. You may now cringe... Rune Commander Army of the Darkness..errr...Porcupines <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I think my computer can handle most anything you chose to throw at it. It's me I'm concerned about. I'm using a 400mghrtz G3 iMac DVSE. So fellow Chicagoan, bring it on. Would you care to make that Canuck lover Seniletea a tank captain in one of the crews. I would love to kill him, just like I am in our current PBEM.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rune: Well, it was either get Berli to defend the honor of Illinois [he lives here too], or make a call and have Guido visit you. In true Cesspoolian fashion, I went with the more painful of the two choices. [No Bauhaus, Cesspoolian Fashion does NOT mean you can wear a speedo] The creation of evil was sent to him last night. I have modified VOT and CE to true epic evil proportions. All this was a warm up to my masterpiece, which Bullethead and Wild Bill have helped with. The map is pretty much done, just troop deployment to go. So, as I dance to Disco Inferno as your tanks burn...remember...you always could have insulted Ohio. Rune <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Even I wouldn't be caught dead in a speedo. For that Rune you deserve to be punished. The only thing you have going for you is that you are a fellow Chicagoan. So you can't be all bad. So......I think Herr Berli needs to send you a certain file, Berli knows the one. It's nothing but smoke and burning buildings. I will make sure it gets to you some how.....as penance you shall play.

Gerbiljoy vs Kitty-The Movie I personally think that the furry little creature that is fond of crawling in parts of the human body that nothing should crawl, is screwed. Never under estimate the power of a kitty™

I sit, therefore, I am.

Dauern Sie mich überprüfte, dieses ist nicht das Peng, ich nehmen noch unsere blutige Herausforderung Öffentlichkeit im deutschen Gewinde. Jetzt Anschlag oder ich werden erzwungen, um Kitty auf Ihnen zu drehen. Frecher Kitty, der ist MEINE Huhntopfpie-Chart!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: Let me just set the record straight on a few matters. First, Professor Doktor Hamster X is not on vacation, lolling on Tahitian beaches, drinking/smoking the native intoxicants, and being fondled by numerous Gauguinesque beauties. That will come later. At the moment, he is heavily involved in the upcoming (sit down, Bauhaus!) U.S. elections. While the actual form and extent of his activities are confidential, the careful observer may be able to determine which candidate actually has a Hamster up his ass. -- Mark"IamDirkDiggler"WahlbergIV continues to send me e-mails without files. While this is amusing in a stalkerish kind of way, it does not advance the state of our conflict. -- jdmorse's e-mail address appears to have gone dead. Although I am all in favor of silencing the lawyer class, I am trying to get a turn to him. At this point, however, disappearing off the face of the earth may be to his advantage. -- Andreas continues under the illusion that his men are not supposed to die. Please desist in this, as it is not healthy for someone of your fragile mental disposition. -- Geier? Geier who? I know no one by that name, and if I did know him, I would never be involved in any PBEMs with him, and if I were playing him, I would certainly not be losing. -- The Abyssiniancatbuggerer Formerly Known as Joe Shaw seems to be retreating to the safety and warmth of his camp fires. He will find little safety, but perhaps more warmth than he likes. -- Caprifellator is about to die, a lot, now. Lorak, you loathsome scribbler, please register my impending mutilation of Caprifellator at the earliest possible moment. Notice how I don't say "at your earliest convenience"; that's because I don't give a toss about your convenience. Just wanted to make that clear. TTFN <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hackup Aaaachoo- You care to send me that set up file you've been so diligently studying for the past few weeks. Or are you scared after your last butt-kicking? Hmmmmm?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goanna: Hi-dee-ho neglecterinos! After another seemingly endless world gallivant, I am now safely ensconced in my current digs in Oman for the next two months. Sadly, my accommodation does not include a computer capable of rendering me capable of delivering the bucket loads of Die-A-Lot NowÔ that several of you so richly deserve. To make matters worse, I am stuck using a piece of poo clone filled to the floppy drive with plenty of microsludge software at work and an interminably slow internet connection. That should make Berli happy and me ever so slightly sorry that I put the boot in rather often after he attempted to dribble his powerbook. I imagine it will take me ages to catch up on all of the goings on, but rest assured I will get through all the previous 50 pages and there will be payment in full for each and every slight of the lizard king. I'll be making a list for my return to Oz whereupon I will begin delivering your parcels of pain. Think of me as a sort of atheist-anarchist Santa who will visit several weeks later than the old crone, and who's gifts will cause more revulsion than that ghastly centrepiece you got from aunt Hettie which you are forced to trot out for her annual visit. I hate you all, but I mean that in the best of possible ways.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh good God, I thought we got rid of the nipple sucking lizard lover. Is this the best story you could think of in the past few weeks. My theory is, Joanna, you're in for the final phase of your surgery. No longer will you be a cross-dressing war gamer, but yet another female infiltrating the board. And I mean that in the best of terms, except in dear Joanna's case. Nobody touch him...her....it? He's....she's....it's all Berlickedabigones. [This message has been edited by bauhaus (edited 11-01-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: ???????? Squeaks, do I need to slap that smile right off your face? Oops, I see YK2 already has.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: THAN!!!!!

Do you people not realize that when I'm reading all of these wonderfully sick posts that I am sitting down. Why not tell me to stand up or roll over? But I can't be sitting anymore that what I already am.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: Peng? PENG! MAKE SOME NOISE, SON, ARE YOU OUT THERE?! Woof, woof, arf, arf!! What's that, Elvis? Peng is trapped in the abandoned mine, and needs ale and emergency medical treatment? Good job, boy! I'm off to the package store for a 12, and I'll pick up a copy of 'Worst Case Scenarios' on the way. Here's a biscuit, now go lift your leg on Bauhaus; the nasty little animal is doing altogether too well in our PBEM. What kind of world is it where I beat Berli and Moriarity, and then lose to Bauhaus? What is this, Saturnalia? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now we know who the king of the Herald is!!!!!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: Blousehouse has finally showed me his surprise. As we all now, it is revolting, and I shall deal with it shortly. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It worked???? Haven't seen the movie yet. Well I'll be a goatmunch uncle!