Goanna

Diggers: Happy Australia Day!!! The rest of you lot: Get a furry brown dog up ya! That is all. Time to go get fully pissed, likely sunburned (it's OK I will just molt early this week) and have a good feed with my mates.

Whoohoo!!! I made it into the Dog Pound!

Also remember that you can put the forces on the map, view them in the preview mode and padlock them in place.

Rubbish, you geographically challenged mercan. Russia is in Asia, not Europe

Actually, it appears that Steve was just being punny. What is going on in Europe certainly has no bearing on CMBB since its a different theatre

Oh contraire, my little earless mongrel. I believe that the current self indulgent wank on the purveyors of jellied gasoline is the 5th such thread I have seen on the bbs. And just for the record, I do believe it would be the moment of inertia and not the moment arm that you would want to know when measuring encumberance of said device.

bauhaus, send me a turn you simpleton wuss, or I will make you cry. Then, go kick Moriarty's desk to wake his sorry ass up so he can send a turn. Finally, make your way round to the technogeek hole that Berli shacks up in and take away his smogs until he sends a turn too. Don't make me come over there....again.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Sad to see that you have forgotten what its like to defend against a competant attack<hr></blockquote> Well, you did see the list of who I am playing above, I assume? Disclaimer: The above is not to infer that Berli is capable of mounting a competent attack however. Throwing around more smoke than the recent bushfires will only serve to obscure his ultimate demise from him until he is much, much closer.

Guitly as charged. Where's my file ya gamey mg rushing rauchenbeast?

OK, just one more thing. Wouldn't it be a good idea to send the recently returned Lorak on a quest to collect the recent "photographs" of pool members for and update of his cesspool website?

Broke out the old Iron Maiden albums this weekend I see Persephone? What the hell is a Persephone by the way?

Just a quick note to inform several folks that they are approaching being named as a wuss here in this hallowed forum by the ÜberLizard for the following misdeeds: mrspkr Owes us a turn since 13 Jan in a game with only two turns left. We think he is not liking his chances and is hiding behind Hiram's couch. He wussiness is grwoing by the minute. Seanachai Obviously doesn't give a fat rat's arse about the name of Peng, or is an incompetent boob that cannot even open the scenario editor (you picke em) since he still owes me his purchases in the Wrath of the Gnome vs. wussl wussl is growing in wussishness almost incomprehensible by not forwarding a photo to squire Persephone for her own nasty uses. he claims "he doesn't have one". Bollocks, I say. Hands up now, who works at a government funded lab that doesn't have access to a digital camera along with every ohter piece of geekware known to man? Exactly, no one and he is just a wuss. Hell even the Victorian Bureau of Petrol Sniffing that Mace works at has a digital camera. Wussmania is even creeping into the deep southern Wisconsin region overnight as no turns have been received from Berli, bauhaus or Moriarty. Let's see, the Bears are out of the playoffs, it's colder than a witch's teat out and nobody's throwing around HE or pathogens in the US these days, so what could you lot have to do other than send me turns at work?

Rubbish, I bet if we smothered it in a bit of beet broth, you'd lap it up like the last drop of human kindness on the earth. So how about a bit of a game update and a few snapshots from your quest?

I must also report that the Bard has yet to make his selection of forces in the "Wrath of the Gnome" against wussl so Peng will be stuck in Coventry for a while yet unless Berli is able to muster some intestinal fortitude. Further, I wish to support my squire Patch and recommend that all good kaniggets refer to chrisl as wussl until such time as he supplies Patch with the required photograph.

ÜberLizard Update! He hardly even rates a real update, given the obvious outcome of any battle against the Bard, but I am required to report the utter topplement of Seanachai by the forces of scaliness in a mere 8 turns. It was a completely random computer selected ME which only goes to show the disdain that even artificial intelligences show for the likes of garden gnomes. For those who can stand the gory details: Axis (Goanna): 9 casualties (3 KIA) some due to falling down from laughing, one HT lost (79 pt) Allies (Seanachai: 60 casualties (17 KIA), 2 mortars one Sexton and two Kangaroos lost (21 pt) Axis Major Victory

Oh sure, and you thought this whole kaniggets quest thing was going to be a day at the races, hmmmm? I suppose had someone with the brain of a pod not lost their name in the first place, we wouldn't even be discussing what a righteous evil bastard I am now would we?

Perhaps when the Bard is done stocking up on a bunch of Keebler snacks and maybe a new trowel he would be good enough to send me his selections in the second of the battles for the name of Peng, "The Gnomes Wrath".

That’s what I like to see, optimism from Satan One would do well to remember that the path to enlightnement is not smooth and flat, but rugged and steep. And if we walk the path only in the sunshine, we cannot expect to reach our goal in a single lifetime. Bloody wussies. But I suppose attacking uphill in the rain could be considered a bit suspect. Hmmm, makes me wonder what I did to the Bard in his game. If I gave him troops at all that would probably be a step in the wrong direction. Nice to see you have found a way to get that nicotine in your lungs easier, should save time. Now send us all a turn ya pillock.

Nope, we will run without one until Joe returns, if ever. Now go play with your inner croda.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>In the absence of Peng I shall accept the public acknowledgement of Goanna as the Olde Australian in his stead.<hr></blockquote> And you have had it, sir: <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Quoteth the ÜberLizard: He will return to the fold in the natural course of things, after time has had her way with Joe and exposed him to the fact that she is a fluid beast and can concentrate at one point and pass in an instant (as when playing a lasting quality product like CM) or spread herself into what may seem all eternity (as when flying around being shot out of the air repeatedly by 12 year olds). That is the natural way of things and years of experience tell me not to screw with nature too much.<hr></blockquote> A hearty Nay! I have it. Jesus-H-Andreas, don’t you pillocks even read before you post these days? And Lawyer can stop spreading his filth here too, even though we are running quite low on filth. I retained jdmorse as cesspool legal counsel (welcome back counsellor) a millennium (in cesspool years) before the best part of Lawyer was even running down the inside of his mum’s thigh. You lot of Il2ness fans can feck right off to that forum, not to be heard from here again until you realise the error of your ways by your own devices or manage to split your personalities well enough to not speak of it at all here.

Back it, you have to create it you mook.

Most excellent Patch. However, do not be drawn by the ploys of the splitters in their nefarious plans to foist upon us once again the Benedict Arnold that was Jo Xia. We run quite well without the postion as is found in many bloated bureaucracies when a bit of trimming is done. He will return to the fold in the natural course of things, after time has had her way with Joe and exposed him to the fact that she is a fluid beast and can concentrate at one point and pass in an instant (as when playing a lasting quality product like CM) or spread herself into what may seem all eternity (as when flying around being shot out of the air repeatedly by 12 year olds). That is the natural way of things and years of experience tell me not to screw with nature too much. However, although we should refuse to take any payment for it whatsoever here in the Peng Challenge Thread, it would be quite a nice gesture if Patch might come up with some sort of "Memphis Bell" type logo for the born again twitchers over in the Il2ness thread pro bono (NO! not that one bauhaus depraved monster). I was thinking a mormon wife in a tight fitting gunnysack so that her bones and joints showed well.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>And if we are not victorious, let none of us return alive.<hr></blockquote> Although you are to be admired in your spirit, this is precisely what I am worried about, Bard, given my experience with your prowess (for lack of a better word) on the battlefield. No matter though. If either of you two Olde Gits aren't up to the job, you will be eliminated, I will be seniour member of the pool, take the tile of All Being - Master of Time Space and Dimension and send in one of the diggers to get the name back. We all know that chrisl is the sheer essence of wussydom when he doesn't have his 14" arty anyway. See, it pays to have a megalomaniac plan if you want to get into these things in a serious way.

Since I handled the previous setup I can also handle the latest "Battle For the Name of Peng 2 - the Gnomes Wrath". This will also give the Bard the opportunity to sample an enhanced QB format in preparation for his future losses on his quest. A map will be sent to you both shortly. chrisl will defend and select the side he wants to play and whether he wants purchases to be made by the players or the ÜberLizard. Seanachai get to select the points level. I will then set up weather, reinforcements and otehr details and forward the tourney save. [ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: Goanna ]</p>

The "Battle For the Name of Peng" has been set up and is currently in the in-box of chrisl. I suspect that it will be hated by both combatants and therefore deemed a fair contest of idjits. Anyone who would like to play along can e-mail me for a copy of the scenario.