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Is there a special place for someone with a Challenge like Peng has?


BFCElvis

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I think we need an investigation ... with Stenographers.

Sorry, but I've given the stenographers time off for the holidays. Actually, I've invited them to spend the holidays here with me in my mansion. We're all sitting around the Olympic sized pool sipping Mai Tais right now rubbing tanning oil on each other. Too bad you can't join us, but I know how devoted to your duties you are. Ta-ta...

Michael

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Sorry, but I've given the stenographers time off for the holidays. Actually, I've invited them to spend the holidays here with me in my mansion. We're all sitting around the Olympic sized pool sipping Mai Tais right now rubbing tanning oil on each other. Too bad you can't join us, but I know how devoted to your duties you are. Ta-ta...

Michael

Oh Michael, you poor deluded creature, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but you don't have the OFFICIAL Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread Stenographers.

I'm certain that they represented themselves as such and that you, naive as ever, eagerly took them at their word. One would think that you'd have learned some caution after that unfortunate incident revolving around that "internet" ad you stumbled upon while surfing but I suppose that without the likes of you the Nigerian email scams wouldn't be profitable.

The only OFFICIAL Peng Challenge Thread Stenographers are under contract exclusively through the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread and are exclusively provided by Big Al's House of Girls, Giggles and Stenographic Certification. Note you Michael, CERTIFICATION. Here's a recently certified graduate ...

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Yes our OFFICIAL Peng Challenge Thread Stenographers are all certified in the Stenographic Arts while your pale imitations (and they are all pale and sport stringy damp hair ... you shouldn't expect more in Port Townsend) are, I fear, barely able to sharpen a pencil let alone take dictation and are "under contract" to the firm of Guido, Guido and Guido Massage and Escort Service ... I'd advise paying in full and on time. Here's one of their ... providers ...

stenographer186.jpg

Now you may be happy with your bevy of second rate (actually judging by the above we'd be talking third or fourth rate) imitations (who am I kidding, you'd be happy with a bevy of Barbie dolls) but Stenographers ... I think not.

Joe

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I am shocked, Joe, that you have hired your own sister to be a substitute stenographer, although given your extensive history of abuse of Justicariate privilege, I suppose I shouldn't be.

Just as a point of information, here are three of the ladies I mentioned earlier, Dee Dee, Agnes, and Delores.

article-1202438-05D5E48F000005DC-249_634x903.jpg

Regrettably, their off-duty uniforms have no pockets or they would be carrying their notepads and pens with them. But Stephanie, as you can see here, is ready to take dictation at any time.

article-0-0B6FA0A8000005DC-458_468x721.jpg

Too bad you can't join us, but I'm sure the snow and all where you are must be lovely.

Michael

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Are you even a Squire? I can't keep up with this neer-do-well and that layabout being promoted to Squire.

And after all it was rune ... it's not like it was someone of consequence and having seen his scenarios can anyone here doubt that he'd dishonorably attempt to promote someone who was a mere Serf directly to the holy ranks of the Knights of the CessPool?

I think we need an investigation ... with Stenographers.

Joe

We're aware of your disabilities, Joe; keeping up is for the hale, or at least for the quick.

I'm giving myself a field promotion due to the ostentatious lack of ability in this here Mutha Beautiful Thread (on the advice of my liege Lord Rune, may his loins be ever fruitful). I prefer Kenneth to Knigget - it has no association with things of a fishy nature (unlike the Emrys creature). I'm confident the stenographers will back me up, right to the very wall, then light my last cigarette and take my last dictation: "**** youse all, youse is all cunts." It shall be my epitaph.

I shall be suffered in the same way some suffer Gnomic diseases of the lower alimentary canal and Boo: with rueful joy.

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Well that was bizarre. Have you been drinking, sir? Never mind, of course you have. I seem to be the only sober person around here. Except for Joe maybe. He hasn't yet figured out how to get the glass to his mouth. But in any case he doesn't need booze to make him dotty. He's already so far around the bend we've lost sight of him. Still smell the fumes though...

Michael

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Well that was bizarre. Have you been drinking, sir? Never mind, of course you have. I seem to be the only sober person around here. Except for Joe maybe. He hasn't yet figured out how to get the glass to his mouth. But in any case he doesn't need booze to make him dotty. He's already so far around the bend we've lost sight of him. Still smell the fumes though...

Michael

It is the anniversary of the day I got my first suit. Of course I have been drinking, in modest celebration. A fourteen year old red followed by an eight year old. Good stuff, unlike this shower.

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Michael it's abundantly clear that those shots were taken in the SUNLIGHT ... you live in Port Townsend and it's winter ... need I say more?

No one expects you to tell the truth here Michael, that would be going against the tradition you've established for years. But at least make it a CREDIBLE lie.

Joe

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We're aware of your disabilities, Joe; keeping up is for the hale, or at least for the quick.

I'm giving myself a field promotion due to the ostentatious lack of ability in this here Mutha Beautiful Thread (on the advice of my liege Lord Rune, may his loins be ever fruitful). I prefer Kenneth to Knigget - it has no association with things of a fishy nature (unlike the Emrys creature). I'm confident the stenographers will back me up, right to the very wall, then light my last cigarette and take my last dictation: "**** youse all, youse is all ***." It shall be my epitaph.

I shall be suffered in the same way some suffer Gnomic diseases of the lower alimentary canal and Boo: with rueful joy.

[serious] Let's watch the language lad, there are ladies present.[/serious]

A field promotion is it ... absent evidence that you were properly elevated to the rank of Squire the only thing you'll get is Field Punishment ... in the form of a Knightly BOOT to the fork ... mind you it would be MY boot so that would be an honor for anyone from the House of Rune.

Spare the cod and spoil the Squire, that's what I always say ... when I'm not saying "Another beer here bartender!" that is.

Joe

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... when I'm not saying "Another beer here bartender!" that is.

That would be more impressive if you ever actually paid for a round. Somehow you always manage to be "a bit short at the moment" and mooch from whomever happens to have the misfortune of being your companion of the evening.

Michael

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Yeah, he's definitely lost it. Next he'll be spotted roaming the streets and back alleys of the city in a dirty pair of undershorts and an unfastened ratty old robe, mumbling to himself about having to deliver an urgent message to some guy identified only as "Garcia". Almost sad really.

Michael

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