Boo Radley Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Oh... playing the "Guilt" card against Joe, Seanachai? Well... I don't think that's going to work too well. You see, in order for the Guilt card to work, the person you're playing it against sort of needs to have a soul. And Joe, being as it were, a banker... well... you see where I'm going with this? It would be like playing your "Moral Compass" card against an Australian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Persephone: I am your Seanachai, and you are one of the Ladies of the 'Pool. I know that you now go by your 'maiden name' of Patchy, but I knew you first when you were married, and that is how I think of you still. I tell you the stories of my Small Friends, although nowadays I do it more through the 'Notes' area of my Facebook page. Dalem assures me that this month (or maybe the next; Dalem is drunk a lot), he will help me set up my own blog. And there, I shall solemnly chronicle my 'Tales of Small Friends', which Joe Shaw has forbidden me, here. He has long hated my Small Friends. He's had his own children, and he despises those of us who weep a bit, and reach after some measure of happiness, knowing that we will vanish into the Great Darkness, leaving no name behind us. Shaw is a cruel man. He spits upon my 'Tales of Small Friends'. He mocks, and derides me. When I post my Tales here, he belittles me, and makes everything I write about them seem small, and useless. But I know that he only does so, because he finds no value in my stories. I can only ask him to forgive me for boring everyone with my 'Tales of Small Friends'. I'm only an Old One of the Peng Challenge Thread. I ask his pardon for being an old, sad man, who hasn't had children of his own, like Shaw has. I know that my 'stories' bore and annoy him. I've not posted here, for a long time, because Joe has taken my posts amiss, and doesn't want me to maunder on endlessly about those brief moments of happiness I've known by talking about two small girls, who've made an old drunkard look up, bleary eyed, and smile, again. Joe, I'm sorry for the stories of my Small Friends that I've posted. I know how they bore and annoy you. It's made me want to avoid posting here, for a long time. For the longest time, they were all I had. No call-backs, no interviews, no job. Couldn't play Shock Force, because my hardware couldn't handle the game. In the last year and a half of increasing despair, sometimes I descended to posting my 'Tales of Small Friends'. But you always did the right thing by telling me how stupid, boring, and inappropriate they were. It must have been good to have kids. Like you did. Grandkids now, right? Must be nice. ÜberGnome, you can post all the Small Friends stories you want to post, whether Joe likes it or not. I get the impression most people enjoy reading your stories. You are the Seanachai. (I think Joe hasn't got over the embarrassment of pulling out your silverware drawer and having all the silverware spill out over the floor yet.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 ...he finds no value in my stories. And who can blame him? Well, we all can. After all, this is Joe Shaw we are talking about here. But that is beside the point. It goes against the grain to say that Shaw is ever right about anything. But in this case...well...you know. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 (I think Joe hasn't got over the embarrassment of pulling out your silverware drawer and having all the silverware spill out over the floor yet.) Excuse me, Milady, but I am far from assured that Shaw is even capable of embarrassment. If he was, he would have slashed his wrists long ago for any of the vast array of misdeeds he has committed over a life gone on far too long. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 And Boo. I ask you again, to never bring up...well, you know. You mean that time that in a drunken rage of hunger you ate that bowl of raw oysters that had been sitting in the back of your fridge and ended up spewing from both ends for four days, including the day you had an appointment for a job interview? I expect word got around about that and that is why you have received no more calls. Karma, my dilapidated friend, karma. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 So many lies ... so little time ... Persephone: I am your Seanachai, and you are one of the Ladies of the 'Pool. I know that you now go by your 'maiden name' of Patchy, but I knew you first when you were married, and that is how I think of you still. I tell you the stories of my Small Friends, although nowadays I do it more through the 'Notes' area of my Facebook page. Dalem assures me that this month (or maybe the next; Dalem is drunk a lot), he will help me set up my own blog. And there, I shall solemnly chronicle my 'Tales of Small Friends', which Joe Shaw has forbidden me, here. Lie #1 ... I am but a humble servant of the Olde Ones and as such incapable of "forbidding" any of them from posting anything ... no matter how heinous or ludicrous. Indeed I haven't the power to forbid anyone posting, witness Yeknodathon and Michael ... and Boo Radley ... Stuka ... well you get the idea. I have merely suggested from time to time that perhaps Seanachai could post something that actually has some degree of relevance here. He has long hated my Small Friends. He's had his own children, and he despises those of us who weep a bit, and reach after some measure of happiness, knowing that we will vanish into the Great Darkness, leaving no name behind us. A most damnable Lie #2 ... I find your Small Friends charming and delightful as only a grandparent can. I smile in remembrance at their antics and phrasing as it reminds me of my younglings. It's YOU that I hate. Shaw is a cruel man. He spits upon my 'Tales of Small Friends'. He mocks, and derides me. When I post my Tales here, he belittles me, and makes everything I write about them seem small, and useless. Okay most of that is true. But I know that he only does so, because he finds no value in my stories. I can only ask him to forgive me for boring everyone with my 'Tales of Small Friends'. It's not the stories that have no value ... it's you. I'm only an Old One of the Peng Challenge Thread. I ask his pardon for being an old, sad man, who hasn't had children of his own, like Shaw has. I know that my 'stories' bore and annoy him. I've not posted here, for a long time, because Joe has taken my posts amiss, and doesn't want me to maunder on endlessly about those brief moments of happiness I've known by talking about two small girls, who've made an old drunkard look up, bleary eyed, and smile, again. Oh please, granted I have children and grandchildren and a true blessing they are ... most of the time. But having a Seanachai around is of inestimable value ... if only to serve as a bad example for the children. "You see kids, if you drink to excess, smoke bad cigars, play stupid board games with someone like dalem (the lesson on dalem will be next week) and read bad Celtic poetry you could end up like ... HIM!" ... At that point my daughter-in-law generally berates me for showing the children frightening images. And honestly Seanachai ... when you don't smile it makes me smile. Joe, I'm sorry for the stories of my Small Friends that I've posted. I know how they bore and annoy you. It's made me want to avoid posting here, for a long time. For the longest time, they were all I had. Yet if you had posted here you would have the admiration and appreciation of ... oh ... one or two of the SSNs in any case ... not from anyone who actually knows you of course. No call-backs, no interviews, no job. I believe employers tend to look askance on applicants who show up with their underwear on their head ... or so I've been told. Couldn't play Shock Force, because my hardware couldn't handle the game. You didn't miss much. In the last year and a half of increasing despair, sometimes I descended to posting my 'Tales of Small Friends'. But you always did the right thing by telling me how stupid, boring, and inappropriate they were. And finally we have Lie #3 ... I don't find the stories stupid, boring and inappropriate ... It must have been good to have kids. Like you did. Grandkids now, right? Must be nice. At times they will swell your chest with pride ... at other times ... not so much. But remember that we all serve our purpose in this life, you shall be remembered my friend when, in the fullness of time, you depart this mortal coil. It will not be a traditional memory ... but memory it will be. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 ...you shall be remembered my friend when, in the fullness of time, you depart this mortal coil. It will not be a traditional memory ... but memory it will be. Sort of like that pair of boots you had to wear in the army. The ones that never fit quite right and raised blisters any time you had to march more than a hundred meters. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I still get your Jackalope when you die right Seanachai? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I want all his unopened booze and unsmoked cigars. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Writes down in notebook; 'Michael gets nothing.' And on so many levels, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Writes down in notebook; 'Michael gets nothing.' And on so many levels, too.Now that seems a little drastic Boo Radley, I think Michael deserves something ... genital warts perhaps but something. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I think he should get a Donkey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 A Donkey and a rubber Gnome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 [fashioning several bloated warts on the little rubber fellow] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Wouldn't you just know that Yeknod would have an anatomically correct rubber gnome? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Now that seems a little drastic Boo Radley, I think Michael deserves something ... genital warts perhaps but something. Joe But taken in context to what was originally said (Something you've always had a problem with), Michael wanted Seanachai's unopened booze and unsmoked cigars, which we all know can never happen because they simply don't exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 But taken in context to what was originally said (Something you've always had a problem with), Michael wanted Seanachai's unopened booze and unsmoked cigars, which we all know can never happen because they simply don't exist. Are you saying he shouldn't have genital warts? In the first place that train may well have already left the station, but I mean in general, just for the hell of it? Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Wouldn't he need genitals before getting genital warts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Wouldn't he need genitals before getting genital warts?Not necessarily, I don't want to get into specifics but suffice it to say that his nose would be a good candidate. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Are you saying he shouldn't have genital warts? You seem uncommonly interested in my genitals, Joe. I don't think I am entirely comfortable with that. Perhaps you should get a puppy. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 [staring at the rubber Gnome that has now acquired several knobly carrot strap-ons] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 My fox terrier Olly likes to eat carrots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I once had a dog that was crazy about Spanish peanuts. And when I say crazy, I mean he'd go totally berserk for them. Strange dog. Kinda reminds me of some of you, except that he was housebroken. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I think I might go for any type of peanut if I was part of the Emrys household. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 and luckily for Michael he was able to use the peanut shells as a jockstrap and save himself a shiny penny in the process! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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